Women don't respect nice boys

[TheDondada]

I was reading something about women and it said that the reason women cheat is because their spouse is too feminine and not masculine enough. Because of this there primal instincts tell them to go find someone who is more like a man and she sleeps with him. What do you think about this. I also heard that you shouldnt put women on a pedestal because it could lead to that too. I would love to spoil women and I have no problem spending money but what are your takes on this.

[Athena]

I think that sometimes men don't respect kind and loving women either (like me!) 

I agree about not putting people on a pedestal at least not if it means putting ourselves down.

But I just don't agree personally about people cheating or whatever because their spouse is "too feminine" or "masculine."

I am quite girly in some ways but I sometimes feel more comfortable wearing jeans than a dress and I don't think that should mean I get less

quality guys from it!  (Though I'll try wearing a dress on some dates in future & see if it changes things although I wore very conservative clothes on two first dates and yet the two guys both tried to get me to have sex with them which I am a little puzzled about as I was very covered up! Do I need to wear a Burqa?)

I think it's better for you & me to intend to meet the kind of people who respect us just as we are and that plenty of women will appreciate you

spoiling them, I would LOVE a man to do that & many women would too.

There is a heck of a lot of dating advice out there but IMHO not all of it is good!  For example, I have read over & over again not to ever suggest where I want a man to take me.  And yet that seems to end up in the guy getting lazy & just wanting to watch TV with me or we'll go to the same kind of place etc & yet - OK for example, when I was married my then husband agreed to go to Disney World with me and we'd go where he wanted next time (and we did) well he had an AMAZING time!  

I think what's more important - and I am working on these things myself - are things like doing that inner work on loving and appreciating ourselves and YES on setting boundaries and being assertive - and maybe even doing that before we try and attract significant others?

I mean, for example, if you love spoiling women there's no reason you should stop BUT it's just you want to attract women who DO appreciate this and don't take you for granted, right?

I also think we get told over and over and OVER again about bad women, bad men and people who cheat and so on and yes it can happen but also I think it's good to focus on what we want to attract - people we love who love us back and who appreciate us and us being assertive enough to make sure that we set boundaries and don't let others over-step them. 

I guess what I'm also trying to say is, decide your limits.  Like, you want to spoil women, to what point does it feel like it's gone from spoiling to being used?  

I sometimes like quite feminine men although sometimes I go for quite masculine men.  

I think it's good to appreciate our significant others when we get them I really do but I just think it's important to put ourselves first.  That doesn't mean you can't spoil women & spend money on them and especially as you enjoy doing this. 

Maybe pace yourself with this?

George Hutton also has a program called the girlfriend generator, I think, it might be helpful?

I also think it's good to yes be aware of your "red flags" and so on very important! but also to not be so afraid of getting hurt that we don't give love a chance or we try to change aspects of ourselves that we actually really like or who are part of who we are.

Spend on the women but also spend on YOURSELF (and or save for yourself, but either way spoil YOU too!)

I guess I don't want you to stop spoiling women because it sounds like - well you said you would love to so why change something you love?

Just do it from a strong foundation IMHO of assertiveness, strong self esteem, self-love, boundaries etc.  and again of course wonderful George Hutton has subliminals on all of these. 

I speak as someone working on these things HERSELF before she tries to attract another man :-) 

Frankly I'm sick to the guts of a lot of the dating advice out there!

A lot of it can be quite negative and also I think encourage inauthenticity and I think being AUTHENTIC is the best way to attract someone wonderful and faithful, being authentic and having a full life and being assertive and also spoiling OURSELVES.  I strongly strongly suggest you affirm too over and over that women DO respect you and that you respect yourself.  (I'm sure you DO respect yourself by the way.) 

And I wish you everything you want in your love life!

[Light]

A relationship still has a discipline aspect to it. Think of the woman like a flower, who needs to be watered and loved daily. That means periodic excitments and adventures and all that fun. If you look at Eliott Hulse on Youtube, he and his wife look like they're still in puppy love - married for over a decade now. His wife's a pretty awesome person too, and together they seem practically invincible and have a great business going. That's the power of a true relationship where you exercise discipline and keep your flower (your woman) attended to at all times.

 

However, placing women on a pedestal and DENYING or being BLIND to her weaknesses is stupidity. There's an intelligence aspect to it too. She's human. She has weaknesses, as well as strengths. It's your job to analyze them properly and objectively.

 

For example, there are men in our society that literally SPECIALIZE in tactics on how to get maximum amount of women into bed... PUA's. If a top PUA is in your room, you will have to watch his every move, and stay unreactive at the same time. Even if a woman does not want it, a man that literally specializes in screwing maximum amount of women appears in front of her, he can wear her out given enough time. This happens to plenty of women today, even if they DO NOT want it. 

 

In ancient societies, tribal leaders banished these types away for using Black Magic and Manipulation. The modern day equivalent of that is the PUA who goes for married/taken women. We allow freedom all the way, and it has come at a great cost. So remember to take all her weaknesses into account and that she's only human. 

 

Masculinity is just confidence in being your true authentic self. That's about it. The girl wants to know she' dating a human being, not some cooked up imaginary figure that pretends to be someone he's not. Strength in self expression, and success in dealing with relationships using your intelligence. 

[TheDondada]

I think in our society there are a lack of real men. Like it's gotten so bad that I had to learn how to become a man from books. With this now men don't know how to approach females because of fear. I want to be a nice guy because I see no need to be an asshole to women. But at the same time I recognize the fact that men aren't assertive enough and push Women into the lead role into relationships. As we can see the male is the Conscious mind/Guardian at the gate who is supposed to control the tempo of the relationship. That's why we men are good at focusing on one thing at a time. While women who are the Subconcious are receptive and yielding (If your a real man) and this shows up in their ability to multitask. Also it shows up in our sex organs where the penis has to Peirce the hymen to intimate new life while the vadgina never argues and takes the sperm and holds the new life. Ok I went off on a tangent there but let me continue.

 

A woman in sum and substance doesn't want to control the relationship. She wants to be dominated and controled (not oppressed) where she can truly trust you and open up to you and she will thank you for being a good man because now she can truly let go because she is safe in your arms.

 

 

It's true that you just have to be yourself when trying to get a woman but that has taken me on a journey to figure out who am I and now I am starting to know a bit more about me.

[TheDondada]

"Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me."

 

-Al Capone

[Athena]

But at the same time I recognize the fact that men aren't assertive enough and push Women into the lead role into relationships"  What?!  I am always the one who seems to defer to the guys can you introduce me to these men PLEASE!  I think a man like this would be amazing.  I always ALWAYS let the guy lead cos I keep getting told that's what I am "supposed" to do & I'm getting pretty sick of that. 

The only time a man is too nice that it's a problem for me is if he is too shy to tell me he likes me even though he really does cos he's scared how I will react.  Or, I knew a woman who's husband was SUCH a yes man that he'd say yes to any requests by anyone and as a result he had much less time for her.  That would be a problem.  I have NEVER taken the lead in a relationship, the guys have always been pretty stubborn.  We did what HE wanted the majority of the time, whoever it was.  Those lucky women! I think it's been SO drummed into me to let the guy lead.  That I'm being "masculine" if I don't and that would seem butch and unfeminine and thus unsexy.  But I think I'd like something more even next time, I really would. In a sexy, feminine way. It would be a very refreshing, welcome change.  

 

IMHO the reason someone cheats if they are married is cos they are a COWARD.

Get a divorce!  But talk it out first and be willing to compromise.  There are exceptions to this of course! 

[TheDondada]

You must have a different life because now men are emasculated and defer to the woman to make all the descisions because they don't want to be labeled a Misigyni whatever. Most shows I see especially on Disney and Nick (damm they aren't the same from when I was a teen) has the boys as whimps and the husband always acting like a douchebag and the Mom always has to save him. And all the Alpha males are killers like dexter and Dean from supernatural. But to each his own.

 

No and nature isn't an idiot she makes sure her daughters produce the best children so they get a better male to sleep with them. That's it. It's unconscious.

[Athena]

deleted. 

[Athena]

Deleted....mostly positive but still I feel too rant-y (not to any of you!) & I just feel I should delete. 

[firekid1331]

Some of these things i see here on these posts are concerning .lol i remember a time long ago (1.5-2 years ago ) i was sitting on a bench at a Smith's smoking section and i was thinking that day about how amazing it would be if i can successfully enter into my subconscious mind and rewire all the trama that has happened to me... As i was pondering on these thoughts ... A good looking woman asked for a cigarette ,so i kindly gave her 4 of my own. 15 mins later my emotions were happy because i thought i was building a good conversation with this good looking woman , however the conversation went downward. She start criticizing my teeth (which needs some fixing due to excessive amounts of rockstars) and criticizing my left eye (which is dislocated due to early childhood trama) . after when i realized this good looking woman was not in good positive rapport , i listen to what she had to say about me, but for some reason my mind tuned out her vocal patterns and tuned in with her inner mind. After 5 mins. Of communicating to her inner mind( telepathy) i gave her advice about her life that could help her for i realized she wasn't truly criticizing me , she was criticizing others for what she has been criticized on. If that makes sense? I kind of figured most of us has inner conflict that we end up saying the most destructive thoughts to individuals and ourselves. Breaking the destructive cycle starts with us (^.^)

[Athena]

Yeah, you're right & I think I'm going to delete those two replies of mine, while I agree with what I said, I feel like some of it was much too....intense!!

Oh my gosh I LOVE how you spoke to her inner mind! Awesome. (So if you don't know what I'm referring to, I think Firekid replied to MY replies and I've decided to delete my replies HE replied to.  I agree with my points but I don't know I feel like it comes across as angry - not angry at any of you cos all of you rock!! Like I said, I think the caliber of people here is fantastic!)  I love what you said here, Firekid & it's really helpful!  Firekid, you ROCK. Everyone here does but your reaction to her is impressive & a great example.  You're a shining light! and an inspiration. 

[Light]

Firekid's right on, pretty much. I can read thoughts to a certain extent as well (thanks to spiritual training). It's up to us to break the destructive cycle or go along with it. 

 

Being good doesn't work. Says who? It only goes that way if you're not confident enough to stand for your core beliefs. There's nothing more attractive than radiating absolute self-confidence, and for that you don't need to be a stereotypical Alpha Male douchebag. All the present way of being does is ruin women in the long run. On the outside she may be sexy (by societal definition), but on the inside, she's decayed beyond repair. All a woman like this can do is go around spreading her poison and ruining men, because somewhere along the line she got played with. 

 

When I call a woman beautiful, she smiles back and begins to blush, while your average Alpha Male would be sitting there thinking of the next Neg and to make her miserable before bedding her. Really, who wins? It ruins the dance, the play. Nice guys typically have a desperate/needy form of energy, and that's why it doesn't work out for them. When you freely do this kinda stuff, and there's no outcome attached to it, everyone falls for you.

[Athena]

Deleted, I think I'll message my reply to Light as a question instead.  

[billy]

Depends on the woman. The relationship , etc. That's an over generalization in my opinion. It certainly does happen. Age is another factor. More likely to occur with a younger women than one that may be older. Also, with the advent of the internet manifesting sex got or used to be anyway, a whole lot easier. Not such a spectacular medium for that now. It was new, post an ad meet a girl and odds were one could get lucky and vice versa for the ladies. It was very fast and the replies flew in but years later it has slowed to a halt.

 

So we likely saw a major upswing on the "cheating" scale soon after everyone got online and discovered CL and such. Yes, lots of married women back then.

 

Perhaps the cost of being discovered is one reason it has lost a lot of appeal. Lets not forget some killers also used it to manifest their desires. The list of sickness could go on and on. It became a unsafe place to manifest.