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The idea of a fool proof "pick up line" has been around since the dawn of time.

But to the extent that they work, it's not because of the face value.

It's because they are funny.

Which kind of does the opposite.

The surface structure meaning is a compliment.

Like you want to tell a lady she's beautiful.

But if you just walk up and say, "Hey, you're beautiful," a couple of things might happen.

One, is she KNOWS she's beautiful and your lame attempt won't do much.

Two, is she's not quite sure if she's beautiful.

And since random dudes walking up to random ladies is pretty odd, she'll wonder what the deal is.

So, these pickup lines can work, but they won't make her feel special.

They will make her laugh.

That's good, right?

Maybe in the short term.

Maybe they might get a smile.

But what do you do next?

If her (or his) first experience of you is walking up and performing, what kind of precedent does that set?

On a much deeper level, this strategy isn't very helpful.

You see somebody across the room.

You look at them and feel attraction.

So the impulse is to walk over, and do SOMETHING that makes them feel GOOD because of you.

So the natural way to do that is to either give them a compliment, or to perform.

Most of the time, it's both wrapped up in one.

Give her a compliment wrapped up in some goofy pick up joke.

That is a very short term strategy.

And it's the same strategy that everybody uses.

So AS SOON as you try this, you are going to be put in the SAME CATEGORY of every other goof.

This goes WAY beyond meeting people romantically.

Anybody whom you want to make a good "impression" on.

To say something funny, witty, clever, etc.

These are all PERFORMANCE based strategies.

Which puts them in JUDGE mode.

And you in TALENT mode.

Like some goof on American Idol hoping to NOT get kicked off the stage.

This is the SAME strategy little kids use.

To do SOMETHING to get noticed.


Look at me!

I'm more SPECIAL than everybody else!

Even a hard core, 100K per year job interview is like.

The hiring dude is sorting through all the applicants.

And they all have the SAME strategy.

Pick Me!

Please, Pick Me!

This is not a happy way to go through life.

Always hoping OTHERS pick you.

And who are these others?

That's the worst part.

These other people that most people hope will PICK THEM are complete strangers!

So, what happens when you FLIP the script?

To make them, after only a brief bit of conversation, wish YOU would pick them?

What would that do for your social life?

For your romantic life?

For your business life and career?

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