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The Anti Entertainer Mindset


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There are three basic ways to meet people.

One, the oldest and likely the most comfortable, through your social network.

Friends of friends, etc.

This is when you come "pre-screened" or "pre-qualified."

You have less of a burden to "sell yourself."

Two, is online, which mostly is online dating.

This is very difficult, and very dependent on how you can present yourself WITHOUT referencing your personality or communication skills.

This is essentially the same structure as job hunting.

Your "resume" or "online profile" gets you in the door.

Your interpersonal skills do the rest.

Most people underestimate how much personality plays in job interviews.

Since you are talking to the hiring guy, you've already PROVED your qualifications.

But just like online dating, your qualifications, things people can find out about you WITHOUT needing to talk to you, are ONLY to get your foot in the door.

Everything else is based on personality.

Since we aren't robots, or Vulcans, but rather, self aware, talking monkey people, people NEED to know they can "vibe" with you.

If you have the right resume qualifications, knowledge etc., but NOBODY can stand you, nobody will want to hire you.

Similarly, if your online dating profile looks FANTASTIC but you have an abrasive, or a relatively plain personality, you won't get past the first meeting.

Luckily, ALL of this, except the social circle method, is based on a BACKWARD idea.

The idea that THEY are the judge.

And you are the person who needs to impress them.

Kind of like those "Talent" TV shows, which are very much like the Gong Show way back in the 70's.

The structure is EXACTLY the same.

Performers come out on stage desperate to get NOTICED.

Desperate to break into "show business."

Desperate to gain the approval of the audience and the judges.

This is exactly how most people behave during job interviews.

Guys who strike out with ladies and folks who are desperate for jobs say and think the SAME thing:

"Please, give me a chance!"

This mindset is desperate and very unattractive.

To both relationship seekers and hiring managers.

For a job interview, the answer is pretty simple.

This goes beyond simple linguistic tricks, but it does involve a reframe.

But you have to build up the right mindset for it to work.

First, know your value.

Have plenty of options.

See any job interviews only a POTENTIAL opportunity for a MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL relationship.

Once you have that mindset squared away, instead of saying:

"Please give me a chance," you say the opposite:

"Why should I work here?"

When it comes to meeting people in general, it's kind of similar but MUCH less aggressive.

Much, much friendlier.

First, ditch the "please accept me" mindset.

And replace it with something much, much easier.

Much LESS confrontational.

One that will make EVERY interaction, even with strangers, much more positive and memorable.

Even better is it will build up a POWERFUL mindset based not on wishing or hoping, but on EVIDENCE.

A mindset that says people like you.

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