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One night, a long time ago, I was out with a bunch of friends.

We were in some bar, having some drinks.

And the conversation, and the language, was what you'd expect.

Sex talk, dirty jokes, F-bombs like crazy.

Then somebody decided to go get some food.

So we stumble down the street to restaurant.

And we carried our conversational theme, and our f-bombs with us.

And halfway through our conversation, one guys face goes white.

Then he starts laughing.

We looked around and realized why.

Just behind us, was a table with a couple adults and a bunch of kids.

And here we were, still talking about sex, blowjobs, and dropping f-bombs  like crazy.

It was pretty embarrassing to say the least.

I don't know if the kids her us, or the adults did, but it FELT like we were breaking some kind of unwritten rule.

If you're on a bar, and it's over 21, and everybody's boozing it up, dropping f-bombs is perfectly fine.

But in a family restaurant, not so much.

We humans tend to self-regulate like this.

We "augment" our behavior based on our environment.

This modern behavior rides on top of our ancient social programming.

To behave in a way that elicits positive responses from people, and avoid negative responses.

But like many other instincts, when this rises to the conscious level, it can be difficult.

We know what NOT to do to AVOID negative social signals.

But what to do to GET positive social signals isn't so easy.

Particularly when you realize that in the past, we KNEW what to do, to get those positive social signals, because we were around people that we had known our own lives.

All the good behavior, and the bad behavior, was highly calibrated.

This is a large component of social anxiety.

It's EASY to avoid negative social signals.

Wear the same color shirt as the wall, and hope nobody sees you.

But what if we WANT to engage socially?

What if we WANT positive social responses, but from STRANGERS?

Particularly sexy strangers?

Strangers we WANT to be friend with?

We want to IMPRESS them.

Or as the dating folks say, we want to Demonstrate High Value, or DHV.

How, specifically, do we do that?

That most common answer is to keep trying.

That it's a numbers game.

To keep taking shots on goal, and hope some of them go in.

This CAN work.

But it's VERY inefficient.

At BEST, and after years of practice, you MIGHT get a 10% success rate.

Or or a 90% FAILURE rate.

But what if you could REVERSE this?

By reversing the strategy, you could reverse the numbers?

Meaning that the MAJORITY of people you interacted with would think FONDLY of you?

What would THAT do for your confidence?

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