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One common but rare experience is meeting somebody you just "click" with.

Not necessarily in a romantic setting, but a friendship or even a random conversation.

For example, when I was younger I used to play golf.

I sucked, and I had some hand me down clubs, but it was fun.

If only to get outside and walk around on the grass for a couple hours.

But one thing you run into when playing golf is if you aren't playing with four people, you end up getting stuck with somebody.

They send out groups of four every five minutes or so.

So if you show up with three people, you're going to get stuck with somebody.

Kind of like on a ski lift, if you're single, you'll get stuck with another single.

But ski lifts are short and it's pretty easy to just sit and be polite for the few minutes.

But a round of golf takes a couple hours, at least.

So if you get stuck with a weirdo it kinds of sucks.

But sometimes, you get "put" with somebody that you kind of click with.

Not that you become best buddies or anything.

But you tend to share the same outlook, since of humor, world view etc.

So it's EASY to pass the time while you're waiting for the slowpokes in front of you.

This makes a round of golf very FUN.

On the other hand, if you get stuck with an unfunny stick in the mud, it CAN suck.

You have to be careful about the f-bombs and dirty jokes, etc.

If you meet an attractive person socially, and you click, this is also a very cool feeling.

But it's also considered to be very rare.

Even the metaphors we use to describe this indicate we don't feel much in control.

We say things like, "I hope I meet somebody."

Meaning that are tons of random people out there, and meeting "somebody" we can click with is a rare event.

But consider this paradigm, or model.

Inside, we are VERY similar.

We all want the same things.

We all want to avoid the same things.

Everybody wants more money, a better job, a better living arrangement, better sex, etc.

Nobody wants to see their boss, or balance their bank account, or get up on Monday morning.

Suppose, just for a minute, that meeting people you "click" with wasn't REALLY about compatibility?

What if was more about simply releasing the more or less "false" exterior and letting loose with our inner selves?

It turns out the inner structure of what everybody wants is pretty easy to pace.

Pace with your language.

So the more you talk to them, the more you'll click.

The more you click, the more you'll enjoy the experience.

So instead of "hoping" to "meet people" you click with,  you'll be CHOOSING who you WANT to click with.

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