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Auto Pilot Relationship Skills


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Humans are learning machines.

We have a both a huge collection of instincts and a nearly infinite learning potential.

Infinite doesn't mean you can put an infinite amount of data in your brain.

But the things you CAN learn, are infinite.

But these require you spend some time learning those things.

Unfortunately, most people today have a kind of misguided idea about learning, what learning really means.

For most of us, we associate learning with school.

Us sitting there.

Some teacher telling us things we are supposed to remember.

That are supposed to be important.

Organized education has been going on way back since the middle ages.

People realized that to become a functioning adult, you need a certain "base" collection of skills.

This is one key difference between now, and back then.

Now we listen or read for information.

We take a test, and show we know that information.

But for the longest time, learning meant learning skills.

How to DO things.

This misconception is why things like math seem so hard.

We treat it like other subjects.

Like we're supposed to just sit there while the teacher talks.

Then we know how to do math.

But for something like math, it's much more like a sport.

One of my favorite professors in college would say that about physics.

He said you can't learn basketball by watching basketball.

You can't learn physics by watching physics.

You need to PRACTICE.

Just like sports.

Not try to remember, but PRACTICE.

This is one key reason we HAVE self awareness.

A collective memory.

We can WATCH ourselves practice.

Humans started in Africa.

But then we spread out all over the world.

Every time we went into a new area, we had to LEARN how survive.

This wasn't by studying academic textbooks describing how to survive.

This was LEARNING by trial and error.

Getting food, reading the weather, staying safe are META skills.

Each environment we went to would require we fine tune how to do those META skills in that new environment.

Modern life is very similar.

Particularly when it comes to our meta skills, and this new "environment" in which we find ourselves in.

Talking to people, making friends, creating romantic relationships, these are META skills.

Skills that are programmed into your DNA.

All it takes is a bit of fine tuning in the current environment.

Something humans have been doing for TENS of thousands of years.

Another way to look at this is "re-calibrating" this instinctive relationship building skills for our new environment.

Once they are re-calibrated, they will be on auto pilot, like they are supposed to be.

Just like everything else humans have been learning since the dawn of time.

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