admin Posted December 15, 2020 Report Share Posted December 15, 2020 https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Dec15Post.mp4 The idea of outcome independence is very compelling. Very compelling for two reasons. For two reasons on both sides of the equation. We all have experiences of both sides of the equation. We all know the more we want something the harder we try, and this can cause anxiety, which messes up our performance. Kind of like when you are ALMOST to the point of being unconsciously competent at something. For example, suppose you wanted to learn how to juggle. And you were getting better and better a juggling three objects. There you were in the park, juggling three bean bags with your buddies. You're talking, laughing, joking, AND juggling. But then three super hot ladies come strolling by. Now you start to WORRY about looking bad. This causes a lot of anxiety, which shifts you back down into the conscious competence part. This makes you pay way too much attention to the bean bags, and you mess up. On the other hand, think of something you do very, very well, and have for many years. Riding a bike for example. For example, you are your buddy are riding your bikes slowly down a bike path. Two ladies come on from a different bike path and are SLOWLY passing you. Because your skill of riding a bike is very, very, unconsciously competent, you don't crash. Sure you're energy changes, your conversation with your buddies change. But you are MUCH less likely to crash your bike that you would mess up in juggling. Although this IS a fairly common scene in romantic comedies. Some goof is so overwhelmed with an unexpected beauty he crashes his bike into a tree, or goes down some stairs into the subway. This is funny because we all have this experience. Of doing something, seeing somebody attractive, and then messing up. When the thing we are doing is talking to THEM this is very, very frustrating. At the same time, most of us have an experience of just "flowing" within a natural conversation. When you TRULY don't expect anything. Even this, non-expectation, is NOT a choice. It just HAPPENS. So the advice SEEMS kind of like good advice. But how can you just "be" outcome independent? Especially when your ancient instincts are SCREAMING at you to be successful? It would be equally impossible to STOP eating once you get to 800 calories. Suppose you were on strict diet. Only three meals 2400 calories per day. And for dinner, your friends shows up with TONS of fast food. It would be IMPOSSIBLE to be halfway through a burger and just stop. Your instincts won't let you. Similarly, it's very, very hard to just "forget" about having any outcome when you are talking to a gorgeous person. At least in the short term. However, when you switch to the long view, everything changes. And you CAN flow much more consistently. On auto pilot. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/relationship-generator/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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