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When most of us see people we'd like to know, it makes us nervous.

Whether they be a key person at a networking event, or an attractive and potential romantic interest, simply the DESIRE to create a positive impression causes problems.

This is why people talk about things like "outcome independence."

This is true, but just saying we should be more "outcome independent" is pretty worthless.

It's like telling somebody struggling with weight loss to simply "eat less than you burn."

Or somebody who is trying out for the Olympic team to simply, "run faster than anybody else."

Or a coach telling their team to "score more points than the other guy."

Suddenly becoming "outcome independent" is one of things that is an IDEAL to strive for.

Most of the goofs saying, "just be outcome independent" have no clue how to do that.

Buy giving this kind of advice kind of IMPLIES they not only know how to do that, but they are experts.

This is why it is VERY easy to come across online as guru type.

Just read a bunch of stuff, then give that advice and it's ASSUMED that you've mastered that stuff.

But doing this face to face is very difficult.

For example, say you go to the gym, and sign up with a trainer.

The trainer is ripped.

He might give you the advice of "just eat only 1000 calories per day, and do two hours of exercise every day."

Clearly, that works FOR HIM.

But nobody, not even him, understands his inner motivations and strategies.

Certain things are simply easier for others.

Otherwise EVERYBODY could just "do those things" that the gurus recommend.

However, it also doesn't do any good to find excuses why we can't do that.

We REALLY want to know HOW to be "outcome independent."

There is a way to approach that.

Normally, when we want to "impress people," be they potential bosses or lovers, we think we need to SAY impressive things.

But this is absolutely not necessary.

In fact, most of the time, trying to impress somebody you don't know almost always backfires.

How the heck can you impress somebody you don't know?

Well, it is pretty easy, so long as you don't actually try to impress them.

First, you need to fill your head with different thoughts.

Or better, simply open your mind to them.

Match their body language, and let your body language drive your thoughts.

With practice, your thoughts will be pretty close to their thoughts.

And with some basic "guesses" about the situation,  you'll know pretty much WHAT they are thinking.

Then you simply pace THEIR thoughts, by expressing them as if they are YOUR thoughts.

Which they will be.

This will create very, very DEEP rapport.

Body language rapport.

Mental rapport.

Energy rapport.

And since they will FEEL themselves in you, you won't need much else.

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