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Guaranteed Rapport Strategy


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There are a few funny videos online of people staring at their phones not looking where they're going.

Walking into fountains, open manhole covers, off cliffs, into wood chippers, etc.

This makes sense.

Even way back before cell phones, the phrase, "Hey, watch where you're going!" can be found in plenty places.

But one thing is kind of puzzling, at least at first.

Most of science is like this.

Puzzling at first.

But then they do some experiments, figure stuff out, and it makes sense.

Anyhow, the puzzling part was how people can walk up and down a crowded sidewalk and NOT bump into others.

In fact that common phrase, "Hey! Watch where you're going!" is the EXCEPTION that proves the rule.

People get angry when you bump into them because we all expect others to NOT bump into us.

This is such an intuitive way of thinking that NOBODY ever tells us this.

When we are kids parents and teachers do teach us things.

Say thank you.

Wash your hands.

Look both ways before crossing street.

Watch out for creepy old guys in trench coats walking your direction.

But nobody ever says:

"Be sure not to bump into anybody!"

As if some little kid is going to go out and try and tackle every dude he sees.

So we know that we DON'T bump into people unless we're REALLY not paying attention.

But how this happens is kind of cool.

Scientist set up a bunch of cameras on busy streets to see precisely HOW we avoid each other.

It turns out we all come pre-programmed with a "don't bump into other people" strategy.

And if each one of only as a three or four step strategy, that's enough.

For example, our strategy might be:

"Always go left first, then go left again, and then go right OR if that doesn't work, wait till they move and then do the opposite."

But this ONLY works under one very critical condition.

When people are looking at others ONLY through peripheral vision.

Because looking at others through peripheral vision means they are only a blur and a direction.

When all the other people you pass by every day are blurs with directions, it's very EASY to not bump into them.

This is why bumping into poles or walking into open manholes is EASIER than not bumping into people.

Because while poles and manhole covers are blurs, they don't have any direction.

So they don't trigger our "don't bump that person" avoidance strategy.

But one thing will instantly KILL this avoidance strategy.

And make it very hard to NOT bump into them.

What is this?

Eye contact.

As soon as we hold eye contact, we AUTOMATICALLY get into rapport.

And what is rapport?

Mirroring and matching.

So instead of avoiding them, we COPY them.

And critically, THEY COPY US.

This is the secret of all interpersonal relationships.

Just like rapport, it happens naturally.

So, get out of your head, and let it happen.

Get Started:


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