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How To Enjoy The Social Game


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It's very compelling to take a sideline approach.

To take a break, study the game, and get ready to get back in.

But it's easy to "stay" on the sidelines.

Much longer than we need to.

There's an interesting parallel between reading self help books and reading fiction.

When we read fiction, a really good story, it "pulls us in."

A good story has relatable characters.

A compelling story arc.

Both resonate with our ancient instincts.

Stories are just as necessary as food or sex or social validation.

Anything that's been part of any culture during any time can be thought of as an instinct.

But self help books also trigger the "story instinct."

If you read a story, we imagine is us along with the heroes.

We can imagine ourselves helping the hero, or BEING the hero, as we slay the dragon.

This is why stories are part of our necessary brain food.

Life has always been difficult.

So the stories can help us to get it done.

But they can start to feel like a replacement for the real thing.

Imagine you're in the game.

Any kind of social situation, where you need to "get it done."

A desirable but not easy outcome.

It's perfectly legitimate to spend time ON the field.

Then some time OFF the field.

This is how ancient humans lived.

How our instincts were calibrated.

By day, we hunted, we tried to kill the big animals.

At night, we listened to stories about great heroes who demolished great enemies.

When we were resting our bodies, we were filling our brains.

Today however, it's easy to STAY on the sidelines.

There's a very dangerous transition that happens.

Stories are meant to HELP US get out there and get it done.

But it's very, very easy to use stories to deceive ourselves.

Why it's not our fault we CAN'T get it done.

This is when we stay on the sidelines for WAY too long.

Trying to overanalyze every single behavior for all those people who are in the game.

This is very, very easy, and very, very common in modern dating and relationships.

Everybody can easily find TONS of excuses, stories, carefully calibrated academic theories WHY the game sucks.

Why the game is "rigged" or "unfair" or "corrupt."

But this doesn't change the reality.

That beyond all our opinions and ideas and reasons and excuses, there are ONLY two places to be.

In the game, and on the sidelines.

Both need to be in balance.

Game, sidelines, game, sidelines, etc.

Get back into this ancient resonance and play.

Get Started:


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