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A commonly "hated" piece of advice is to "be yourself."

People want to make a good impression.

Job interview, networking event, meeting others socially.

There are two sides to this advice.

One is that social interactions are very much like boxing matches.

Not that they are confrontational, but they are VERY dependent on the other person.

Boxers and other fighters have the luxury of watching their opponent.

While people intending to mix socially have NO IDEA how to "behave" to make a solid first impression.

It's really impossible to give advice to somebody.

The advice giver only knows the advice asker.

The advice giver has NO IDEA about the people the advice asker will be talking to.

What if the advice is to "be funny, tell a few jokes"?

This works on SOME people, but not others.

It is, therefore, UNINFORMED advice.

That would like a boxer getting advice to throw a SPECIFIC set of punches.

Bad advice.

So, in reality, the advice to BE YOURSELF actually is good advice.

But in order to accept this, you need to accept a much more difficult idea.

That if you be yourself, you will get an HONEST response.

And you might not LIKE that response.

So the advice of being yourself often doesn't work in the short term.

But really only have two choices.

One is to NOT be yourself.

To be fake.

To memorize a bunch of stuff JUST to get a positive response.

If you do this on a job interview, you'll get into trouble.

They ask, "Can you do X, Y, and Z?"

You say, "Absolutely!"

But what if you CAN'T?

Then you work for a month or two, they figure you weren't being honest during the interview, and they let you go.

Then in the NEXT interview, you have to explain why you only worked at the previous company for two months.

But with social situations, it's even worse.

Here are the ONLY two options.

One, be fake.

Fake nice, fake seductive, fake whatever.

To get a short term result.

But eventually, the REAL YOU will peak through.

And this will be DIFFERENT from the fake you.

So being fake (nice or otherwise) will ONLY create short term success.


What's the other option?

Be yourself.

And accept the feedback.

And keep IMPROVING your real self.

Until more and more people LIKE your real self.

The first step is to ditch all the fake ideas about your real self.

And see how easy it is to IMPROVE how your real self comes across.

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