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Humans have a big problem with cause and effect.

According to scientists, we evolved a "cause effect" linkage system, in our brain, to think much faster.

So, we make a lot of causal connections that aren't really true.

In the harsh world of hunter-gatherers, being SAFE was more important than RIGHT.

Being wrong, but safe was better than being right and dead.

So, even thought most of the fast and quick conclusions we made about our environment were wrong MOST of the time, that was OK.

This is kind of like a shot gun approach.

You shoot a shotgun, and the pellets spread out.

So you have a very high probability if hitting your target.

So long as your target is small, like a bird, you're OK.

Or if you don't want to kill your target, but just scare them away, that's also OK.

So all those "false" causal connections we made back in the caveman days were like each shotgun pellet.

So long as a few of them kept us from getting eaten, that was fine.

Today, however, that kind thinking messes us up.

And one of the most common ways we do that is confusing a DESCRIPTION for a CAUSE.

For example, we are influenced to do things, buy things, etc. for reasons OUTSIDE of our conscious awareness.

Then we DESCRIBE what we just did with our conscious mind.

But this is a DESCRIPTION, not a reason.

This is kind of hard to wrap your mind around, but if you do, life will be MUCH easier.

Really, really, easier.


Consider this simple model of human behavior.

Most of the things we do are driven by unconscious behavior.


Then we describe why we did that.

Or we watch somebody do something and describe why they did that.

So long as we "get" that those are DESCRIPTIONS, and not reasons, it makes things much easier.



Somebody does something we don't like.

So we ask ourselves:

"Hmm, why did they do that?"

And we think we need to KNOW their intentions BEFORE we know how to respond.

Now, if this person is a recognized authority figure, like our boss or the police, it doesn't matter WHY they did what they did.

We do what they say or else.

But everybody else?

There's no NEED to know "why" they did what they did.

THEY don't even know why they did what they did.

So attacking or arguing against what WE think or what THEY say is the reason is useless.

A much, much better strategy is to IGNORE their reason.

And playfully outframe whatever they said.

This will all conversations easier.

With anybody that's NOT a cop or your boss.

Learn How:


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