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Most, if not all, of self-help products are consumed "as if" they are entertainment.

This is why self help CAN be like an addiction.

But other self help is the opposite.

The phrase, "self help" is very, very vague.

From a purely objective standpoint, it means any thing you do, on your own, to "help" or "improve" yourself.

Exercise clearly belongs in this category.

If you join the military, or are on a sports team, somebody ELSE will want you to do exercises.

Because they benefit from your healthier and more physically fit body.

But when you decide to do exercises on your own, for your own reasons, that is the perfect definition of "self help."

Similarly, when you learn something complicated, that takes a lot of time.

Playing a musical instrument, learning a complex software.

This takes time, and effort, and you can measure your progress.

Just like with exercise.

In exercise, musical training and software teaching, the idea of a "fake guru" or even a "guru" doesn't make sense.

There are instructors.

If you wanted to get better at ANYTHING, it takes practice.

Maybe ten percent study, and the rest practice.

Even if you were learning something extremely complicated like Photoshop, you might watch a ten minute video on how to do one thing.

But most of your time would be trying all the different ways to do that one thing.

Other categories of "self help" are not like this.

These are the ones that are consumed like fiction.

Which categories are these in?

Generally, the "guru" or "false guru" categories are anything requires you talk to or interact with others.

Making more money, or improving your relationships.

But there are two critical aspects within the "false guru" realm.

A very strange combination of laziness and fear.

When you decide to get a six pack, the laziness is there, but the fear is not.

Nobody gets sweaty palms and heart palpitations as they approach the gym door.

But when it comes to improving ourselves through some kind of social skills, this is TERRIFYING.

So terrifying that our cognitive dissonance doesn't even allow our brains to think in terms of practice.

Instead, we think in terms of magic.

Get that one "secret" idea into your head, and sidestep all the necessary work.

This is when self help is consumed like fiction.

You read a fictional story and go along for the ride.

You get to imagine killing bad guys and saving good guys.

But you know it's fiction.

When you're done, it's back to real life.

But with self help, it's not like that.

We read self help books, and the hero is our future selves.

While we are consuming them, they feel really good.

But the thing they are missing is nothing will change without continuous and persistent SKILL BUILDING.

However, if any skill building involves fear, we don't do them.

So, the trick is to build skills that DON'T require we ever leave our comfort zone.

This will make ALL skills easier to master.

Especially social skills.

Learn How:


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