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Wake Up Your Playful Social Instincts


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A common piece of advice is to leave everything on the field.

If you are playing in a championship game, this is good advice.

But sometimes, it's pretty bad advice.

More so in some sports than others.

Maybe in football, where each game is pretty important.

And you've got a week in between games.

But for sports like baseball, if you "left everything on the field" every single game, you'd risk injury.

The COSTS (potential injury) wouldn't be worth the benefits, of MAYBE eking out a win when you might have otherwise lost.

But for many things, this idea of leaving EVERYTHING on the field is HORRIBLE advice.

In fact, the opposite is usually much, much better advice.

For example, suppose you wanted to learn how to play the piano, and you were starting from scratch.

Suppose that you fully understood, and accepted, it would take a year or more of daily consistent practice.

Once you have the desire, and you accept what is going to cost, the next step is to figure out HOW you want to practice.

If you practiced until you couldn't move your fingers any more, this would be very much like "leaving everything on the field."

This would slowly create an association in your mind of:

"Practicing the piano = pain and exhaustion"

Which would be likely to make you quit.

On the other hand, suppose you went much, much slower.

So you practiced for maybe 10 minutes every day.

So you still enjoyed playing when you STOPPED practicing.

You left a lot ON the field.

This would slowly build up a much different association:

"Practicing the piano = fun"

This would be much more likely to shift your thinking.

From, "I want to practice the piano until I'm a skilled piano player."

To, "My hobby is playing the piano, which I enjoy very much."

This creates a very POWERFUL mind shift.

From "practice" which is generally a means to an end.

To "hobby" which is an end until itself.

And much more sustainable.

This is a fantastic model to apply to social skills.

Most have the "practice until I'm good enough" model.

But consider shifting into engaging socially as a HOBBY.

This requires you force yourself to specifically NOT leave everything on the field.

Leave when you are still having a good time.

When the people you are interacting with a still having a good time.

This "end on a high note" strategy will make you remember EVERY social interaction fondly.

But it will also do something MUCH more powerful.

Once you slowly create the "social interactions are fun" memory, your brain will ALWAYS be thinking about how to do better NEXT TIME.

Since social instincts are a very POWERFUL driving force.

This is something you'll understand once you slowly recalibrate how you feel about them.

So any anxiety you may feel now will soon be part of your history.

Learn How:


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