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Learn To Control Your World


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A common prank to play on friends is to put a sign on somebody's back.

This is also a common tactic of school yard bullies.

Everybody sees the sign, and laughs.

But the guy with the sign can't see it, so he doesn't know why people are laughing at him.

With friends, this can be pretty funny.

But in a bullying situation, it can be vicious and mean.

One way to think of teasing among friends is a "toughening up" to protect against the bullies.

Like play fighting between lion cubs.

Another way to look at the "sign on the back" prank is the difference between objective and subjective.

When you have a sign on your back, it's objective to everybody.

But from a subjective standpoint, you have no idea why they are laughing.

So in the bully situation, this brings up your worst fears.

This is our ancient brains at work.

We have a very strong, very ancient "better safe than sorry" mechanism built in.

Our ancient ancestors assumed the worst when they heard a strange noise.

The guys that DIDN'T assume the worst were eventually eliminated from the gene pool.

Unfortunately, that "better safe than sorry" programming is still alive and kicking.

When we don't know what, specifically, is wrong, we can assume the worst.

So if you're walking around with a sign on your back, and people are laughing at you don't know why, we tend to assume the worst.

At least on a subconscious level.

This is why we also have the "play fighting" instinct.

To slowly toughen us up.

Unfortunately, many of us don't have a lot of experience with play fighting.

We are wandering around as adults, and we are still vulnerable to plenty of things in our external environment that will trigger our "worst case fears" response.

This can create some pretty bad cycles.

We fear the worst, so we behave in a way that will increase the probability of the worst.

On the other hand, people with a lot of "play fighting" experience will have the opposite effect.

They tend to assume the best, which will cause them to behave in way that will increase the likelihood of those positive things happening.

Another way to see this continuum is within cause-effect.

Those who feel more "at cause" will tend to see positive things.

Others, who feel they are more of "an effect" will tend to see negative things.

One person feels in control of their environment.

Another person feels at the mercy of the SAME environment.

Luckily, how we see ourselves within our environment is VERY flexible.

Which means no matter where you are now, you can always get better.

Learn How:


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