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One of the most powerful words is "because."

A study demonstrated this.

A woman was waiting in line at a copy machine.

She asked if she could cut in line, and most people said no.

Then she asked if she could cut in line BECAUSE her car was parked in a towing zone.

Most people said yes.

Then the researchers had her ask again, only this time, the reason made no sense.

She asked if she could cut in line BECAUSE she had copies to make.

And most people said yes.

Researchers have also done plenty of studies on young children.

As young as six months.

They suspect we have a kind of "cause-effect generator" in our brains.

Evolutionary psychologists believe this helped us to think much more quickly.

As you likely know, our brains a very fast, but not very accurate.

Turns out this wasn't such a big deal back in the old days.

When we had to chase food, and predators were chasing us.

But in modern times, it's much, much more complicated.

We make a lot of causal connections when we are very young.

Much too young to understand what's going on.

Unfortunately, unless those early causal connections are "undone" by later life, they will shape how we see the world.

A common example is a little kid touches a hot stove.

And develops a phobia of the stove.

But under normal situations, that kid will grow up around that stove.

And associate that stove with food, eating, meals, meal preparation.

All GOOD associations.

Those good associations will naturally and organically overwrite the bad associations.

For people who feel socially confident and outgoing, a similar process happened.

Most kids learn a few times that expressing any desire is dangerous.

Kids run around, happy and playful, and the adults yell at them.

The learned association is, "expressing desire = bad."

For lucky kids, they later detach that with opposite experiences.

"Expressing desire = good"

But for others, that doesn't happen.

This is the source of social anxiety.

It doesn't mean they're broken, or deficient.

It only means some old programs are still operating.

Luckily, it's pretty easy to overwrite them.

And once they are overwritten, you can be your natural, outgoing and expressive self.

Learn How:


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