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How To Use Metaphorical Persuasion


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No matter what form of persuasion you are using, it must conform to human nature.

Specifically, nobody will do anything unless they believe, consciously or unconsciously, it is in their best interests.

This can seem confusing when we are on the outside looking in.

We see people doing CRAZY things.

Seemingly self-destructive things.

Why would somebody do something that is so blatantly self destructive?

This question is IMPOSSIBLE to answer.

Even for the person doing the thing.

From inside our own heads, there are costs and benefits to everything we do.

Every action, big or small, long or short, includes costs and benefits.

It's going to cost us time, money, energy, etc.

What are the benefits?

Money, social status, good feelings associated with survival (sex, food etc).

But this is also based on how we PERCEIVE our reality.

And how we judge our skills.

And from inside our own heads, we never know the totality of these.

Otherwise we would NEVER make mistakes.

If you've ever made a decision that you later regretted, here's what happened.

BEFORE you took action, you estimated that the benefits would outweigh the costs.

But after you took action, with the added clarity of hindsight, you saw that the costs actually outweighed the benefits.

So even from INSIDE our own heads, deciding what to do is rarely simple.

This is why persuading others is complicated.

We MUST convince them the costs are going to be LESS THAN the benefits.

AND they must believe us.

When it comes to persuasion, there are plenty of kinds.

Hard sell, soft sell, overt, covert.

But there is a much easier way.

First, you understand all the things that cause us instinctive pleasure.

The things that EVERY HUMAN wants.

Positive validation, genuine social recognition, looking back at GOOD decisions, being recognized as a role model.

Next, you understand the things every human DOESN'T WANT.

Being a social outcast, trying and failing in front of others, being recognized as being an idiot, not being socially wanted, etc.

Once you understand these, it's story time.

You spin a bunch of stories that move them AWAY from the problem state, and TOWARD the solution state.

And if you want them to do something specific, make THAT the thing that the character in your story did to achieve all the good things.

And move away from the bad things.

That way, they'll see this character taking actions.

They'll see the GOOD RESULTS they got.

And they'll naturally decide, "Hmm, maybe I should try that."

And they'll try it.

They'll do what YOU wanted, but it will be THEIR decision.

Learn How:


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How do you do this without adopting the "losing" position?

Because most people purposely want you to go into the losing role/supportive/feminine role...

And, I have no problem doing XYZ role, but the challenge I am having is that everyone wants you to PURPOSELY lose for THEM meanwhile they get to back in the winning role/ fun role.

So, a bit of how do I be myself while allowing them to be them...

This is a bit challenging...

Because, in order to do healing work, you have to sort of lose, or go neutral, or think in terms of positive benefits.

The way most people are they WANT YOU to lose for them because they want to feel HIGHER in the rankings.

I can go way beyond meta, and adopt a higher perspective, but, sometimes it just feels degrading having to lose for others, when they themselves can do it.

What's your advice here?

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This is true. 

I am still having an issue with "i can do it" 

BUT They can't.

As in I have no problem doing the right answer, but they can't do it.

So, I am forced to do all the right answers.

Having said that everything is subjective, with no real meaning attached to anything, therefore you could always just take an action and have no attachment to it.

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