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Bananas and Ice Breakers


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One of the biggest stumbling blocks to starting a conversation is knowing what to say.

You see somebody across the room.

You smile, they smile.

You flirt, the flirt.

But then the thought of walking across the room and starting a conversation keeps you stuck.

What would you say?

Or you're in line somewhere.

Maybe somebody is cute in front or in back of you.

You or they glance around, your eyes meet, and you give each other the universal "What's up" nod.

But then the same problem pops up.

What do you say?

You may even go online in search of "conversation starters."

There is certainly no end of examples.

But before you practice for hours in front of a mirror, consider this.

Humans have been anatomically "humans" for about a hundred thousand years.

Before that, we weren't yet humans.

But we still communicated with each other perfectly.

When they study chimps, even though chimps don't talk to each other, they have an EXTREMELY complicated social structure.

So, what does this mean?

Instead of coming up with a witty conversation starter, you should give people bananas?

Not really, although that would be better than nothing.

(Hey. You're cute. Here's a banana...)

The point is the WORDS you say are not nearly as important as how you say them.

And the first words you exchange with anybody only serve ONE function.

To shift you from NOT being in a conversation, to BEING in a conversation.

So make it as EASY on THEM as possible.

It's tempting to try and say something clever, to impress them.

But always remember you want to make it as EASY on them as possible.

After all, the first words back and forth are really only so you can VIBE with your energy.

If you words are too complex, both of you will be too nervous to do that.

And for the first couple of minutes, all you really need to do is say some VERY simple things.

Once they are comfortable with you, then you can start asking some easy to answer questions.

How they answer will give you MUCH MORE insight into any memorized lines.

Even when you are hanging out with close friends, the underlying ENERGY of the conversation is much more important the words.

In fact, unless you are landing a jet via radio instructions, or listening to instructions on how to de-fuse a bomb, most of the time the words are IRRELEVANT.

Focus on the underlying energy instead, and everything will be much easier.

There are plenty of exercises to show you how.

Get Started:


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