admin Posted February 13, 2019 Report Share Posted February 13, 2019 There are two specific thoughts that create social anxiety. The first is not knowing what to say. You see a cute guy or girl across the room. You share a few IOI's. But then you wonder, "what should I say?" There is a belief among many that you need to IMPRESS the other person with your conversation skills. This idea presupposes that THEY have the ability to accept or reject you. Which more deeply presupposes that YOU have already ACCEPTED them. This puts you behind before you even get started. And to a greater extent, we have this "default" mindset when we present ourselves to ANYBODY and hope to be ACCEPTED. One way this comes across is in job interviews. The idea is the interviewer has all the power. And the interviewee has to make themselves sound BETTER than everybody else. This is not the best strategy. This is what happens when we operate from SCARCITY. When we think that ONE PERSON is our only hope for happiness. That if that ONE PERSON reject us, we are doomed. If you need a job, or if you haven't been with anybody in a while, it is very hard to shake this mindset. But unless you DO manage to shake it, the scarcity mindset will continue to haunt you. Unfortunately, it's not something that can be switched off. It's kind of like a bad habit. You need to re-train yourself. Luckily, you can do this with friends and colleagues. By practicing a STRUCTURAL way to talk to people. There are seven basic STRUCTURAL filters that we use to help make sense of all the data hitting our senses. Because these filters operate subconsciously, few people know about them. But once you understand how these work, and how to talk about them, a couple of VERY IMPORTANT things will happen. One is you'll NEVER worry about wondering what to say. Once you understand these seven basic structures, they can be the source of ENDLESS conversational topics. With very little thinking required. The second thing is people will LOVE talking about these things. They are very DEEP. They are questions that will automatically create a deep connection. Never again will you feel the need to IMPRESS anybody. Because everybody has treasure. And once you learn how EASY it is to go treasure hunting in ANYBODY's brain, you'll soon be the center of attention in ANY social situation. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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