admin Posted February 11, 2019 Report Share Posted February 11, 2019 Most normal adults are terrified of public speaking. Most are MORE afraid of public speaking than death. Most normal people also have a certain amount of approach anxiety. Sure, a lot of folks won't admit it. But ANYBODY that is normal will be at least a little nervous when they approach somebody they don't know. ESPECIALLY if this person has something. It could be a hiring manager at a networking event. It could be a famous movie star who's autograph you want. It could be a potential customer. It could be a potential romantic interest. But it is absolutely NORMAL to feel nervous when doing this. And there are two perfectly reasonable reasons for this. One is that every single human has a very rude awakening around 2 or 3 years old. That is we LEARN that expressing ourselves is dangerous. This isn't done to us on purpose. But we all have TONS of memories, hard wired in BEFORE we really became conscious, of this two step process. The first step is we have a need, so we express it. The next step is an angry adult shows up and tells us to be quiet. Since this has happened HUNDREDS of times to any normal human, we develop belief. That expressing a desire EQUALS somebody getting angry. That's the first reason. The second reason is much deeper. Genetic. Evolutionary. And that is for the HUGE majority of human history, we ONLY hung around people we knew. Only in the last few seconds of our existence on this planet has the opportunity to approach strangers ALONE been open to us. Our social instincts are NOT calibrated to deal with one-on-one interactions with strangers. This is why anything like approach anxiety is pretty much built into our system. It's also why it's so hard to get rid of. But there IS a workaround. The anxiety is strongest when we feel we are presenting OUR desires to another person. When we feel like we are asking FOR something FROM them. When it is reasonable and logical for them to say NO. Just like that deep cause effect. We ask and the adults say no. So anything that FEELS like that is going to bring up those deep beliefs. The answer is to NOT ask. At least not ask FOR something. Nearly all social anxiety involves the thought of ASKING for something and getting rejected. So stop asking FOR something. Instead, ask ABOUT something. Turn OFF your own ideas and beliefs and requests. And BECOME INTERESTED in the other person. Turns out there is very easy way to ask them a bunch of easy to answer questions. Questions that they will ENJOY answering. Since they are about THEM. And the more they answer, the better they'll feel. And they will associate that good feeling with you. And since those good feelings will be coming from inside THEM, there is no possibility of rejection. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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