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The Most Attractive Social Habit


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We humans do very well when are constrained by external factors.

For example, one way to "dry out" or get clean is to go to a facility where there are NO drugs or alcohol.

You are surrounded by professionals all there to help you get clean.

There are zero temptations.

No triggers that make you want to relapse.

This is the same structure dieters use to carefully fill their fridges with ONLY healthy food.

It's nearly impossible to effectively lose weight if you've got a freezer full of ice cream and bagel dogs.

The easiest way to STOP bad habits is to remove ourselves from temptation.

It is very hard to remain around temptation, and stop the bad habits by sheer willpower.

This goes way beyond "bad" habits.

You can decide on specific behaviors that will HELP you get whatever outcomes you want.

And you can decide what specific behaviors will KEEP you from getting those same outcomes.

But unlike dieting and going clean, setting up your environment to make it EASY to do the things that will help you is not so easy.

For example, one common activity that is not so much a "bad habit" but it's one we intuitively KNOW is not going to get us closer to ANY goal is wasting too much time watching TV or reading social media.

You can use an hour of free time to do whatever you want.

You can do things that are both enjoyable and productive.

You can do things that are productive and not so enjoyable.

You can do things that are not productive at all, and not really enjoyable.

Most of the time, there is a limit on how much we can tweak our environments.

Which means we HAVE to develop that habits that aren't dependent on our environment.

What can make it even more difficult is some of these things are not so easy to measure, especially in the moment.

It's pretty easy to check and see if you are reading social media or practicing a skill.

But sometimes, what we do or not do is an internal, mental thing.

How we think, and how we behave socially.

One thing that most of us do WAY TOO MUCH is making ourselves TOO AVAILABLE.

It's nice to think that you can just show up, "be yourself" and wait for the magic to happen.

But even relaxing socially, especially if you want to make a positive impression on others requires conscious planning.

One of these is by the impression you LEAVE THEM WITH.

If you wait to long, you'll leave a bad one.

If you leave EARLIER than you want to, you'll leave a good one.

This is something that definitely takes practice.

But it is one habit that will have enormous benefits.

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