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Is It Always The Bottom Of The Ninth?


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An ideal state from which to operate from is that of detached outcome.

This makes sense from a logical standpoint.

The less you are concerned with the outcome of any conversation, the less anxious you’ll be.

Any anxiety of any kind will take plenty of your brain’s processing power.

With zero anxiety, you can relax and give your entire attention to not only the words being said, but the massive amount of non-verbal energy.

Both consciously and unconsciously.

Once you start to get nervous, that nervousness slowly shifts into “fight or flight mode.”

Instead of being relaxed and open, you’ll be in “better safe than sorry” mode.

That being detached from outcome is a preferred state is pretty clear.

But exactly HOW to create that state is the question.

From one perspective, the easiest way to detach from outcome is to generally not be worried about the outcome.

This is one of those things that is VERY HARD to fake, but when it’s natural, it’s natural.

One technique is to see any one conversation in the context of a long range plan.

Kind of like in baseball.

Since they play over a hundred games, one loss in the middle of a season it’s such a big deal.

And within one game in the middle of a season, one at-bat isn’t such a big deal.

If you are one of the team’s sluggers, each at-bat in a mid-season game won’t be such a big deal.

Making it VERY EASY to detach from outcome.

Compared to say, being up to bat in the bottom of the ninth, last game of the world series, down by two runs, and a full count.

In this situation, it’s VERY HARD to “detach from outcome.”

For both the pitcher AND the batter.

So, how to you make even seemingly important conversations seem much more like mid-season, mid-game at-bats?

Always have a LONGER RANGE plan around that particular conversation.

That way, even if that particular conversation doesn’t work out, it will.

Meaning that no matter WHAT happens, you can benefit from that conversation.

This is the real secret of being detached from outcome.

Being able to accept ANY outcome as valid.

Paradoxically, this will make you the MOST attractive from the other person’s perspective.

Regardless of the external purpose of the conversation.

Imagine if you were a hiring manager.

And you had two candidates, both with relatively equal resumes.

Which one would you prefer:

Candidate A, who had a desperate, “please hire me I really need this job” energy?

Or Candidate B, who had a very calm, “maybe we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement” energy?

You can easily shift into the second mindset by creating some longer range plans.

This will give you a very confident, very outcome-independent, and very attractive frame.

Learn How:



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