Jump to content
Mind Persuasion Forum

The Tyranny Of The Should


Recommended Posts



A lot of folks love to use the word “should.”

Especially when talking about other people.

People should do this.

People shouldn’t do that.

This kind of thinking certainly FEELS good.

It makes the thinker of such thoughts (or speaker of such words) feel as if they KNOW something that others don’t.

And because of the superior knowledge of the speaker or thinker, they are in a position to dictate the actions of others.

Unfortunately, every single person has their OWN ideas about what everybody else SHOULD be doing.

Dale Carnegie famously said long ago that everybody is ALWAYS listening to their favorite radio station, WII-FM.

or “What’s in it for me.”

So if you could get an audience of everybody on earth, so you could tell people what you think they SHOULD be doing, they would respond with that simple question.

“Yeah, I get you think I should do X, but, what’s in it for me?”

This is the part most people don’t really like to think.

We all LOVE the idea of other people doing things just because WE WANT them do.

We abhor the idea of giving people reasons.

Because once we give them reasons, (why we think they should do what we think they should do) they might not accept those reasons.

And they might even start to tell US what they think WE should do!


But here’s the thing.

On the flip side of that very common idea, is an incredibly POWERFUL technique of persuasion.

Because EVERYBODY has that same thought.

Everybody wants somebody else to do something because of what THEY think.

But if you play the long game, you can easily outframe EVERYBODY.

What is the long game?

Lead with THEIR desires.

Since most people have not only unlimited desires, but extremely vaguely defined desires, they are MASSIVELY easy to leverage.

Once you build up THEIR desires strong enough, you can “stick” them to anything.

This means you really CAN get nearly anybody to do anything.

But the reasons can NEVER be yours.

They always have to be theirs.

This is another one of Carnegie’s pieces of wisdom.

That you can get anybody to do anything, so long as they BELIEVE it is their idea.

This is the cost.

You can never claim credit for their actions.

They’ll NEVER point to you and say, “I’m doing this because of THAT genius over there!”

In fact, when they do whatever it is you want them to, they’ll want to claim credit for themselves.

If you can handle that, and keep your ego quiet for just a little bit, you can get them to do ANYTHING.

Learn How:


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...