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The Most Important Social Skill


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Some of the deadliest or most dangerous ideas are the ones that seem the safest.

For example, there’s the idea of our comfort zone.

By definition, inside is safe, outside is dangerous.

So it makes sense to stay inside.

At least in the short term.

But the longer you stay inside, the harder it is to go outside.

This goes way beyond simple things like social skills.

Since the dawn of time humans have been oscillating between safety and catastrophe.

We stay as safe for as long as we possibly can.

Then something FORCES us to move.

And that “thing” is so dangerous and potentially deadly we have to invent new ways of dealing with it.

But then that creates whole different level of safety.

And the cycle repeats.

Sometimes that results in evolutionary bottlenecks.

When only a few of any species survives.

That means the new “inventions” to deal with the threat are genetic responses.

The structure is similar, whether it is over the course of a couple years, or a couple hundred thousand.

The longer you remain safely inside your comfort zone, the harder it will be to go outside.

Another seemingly safe thing to do in the short term that can be deadly in the long term is confirmation bias.

Especially when it comes to the people we hang out with.

Confirmation bias makes us hang out with the people that have the same opinions, ideas, tastes and beliefs.

Pretty soon we start to think that we are “right” and everybody else is “wrong.”

One fantastic habit to get into is simply meeting people outside your comfort zone.

This be as simple as having a very simple conversation with people you normally deal with.

Co workers, waiters, retail staff, etc.

Just exchanging a few common pleasantries will go a long ways in making your comfort zone get a lot bigger.

One critically important skill is being able to have a conversation with an interesting stranger when the opportunity presents itself.

After all, any relationship, be it business, friendship, or romance will be with somebody that starts off as a stranger.

And if you’re “having simple conversations with strangers” skills are lacking, why not practice them?

The better you build THAT skill, the more people you can meet.

The more people you meet, the more relationships (of all kinds) you can create.

There are plenty of ways to start as easily as you can, so you can grow your comfort zone as comfortably as you can.

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