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Understand Your Relationship Instincts


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Deep within us are ancient instincts.

Everything we want satisfies one of these instincts.

One way to describe them would be in terms of Maslow’s famous hierarchy.

At the bottom is basic stuff like food and sex and staying out of the rain.

On top are esoteric and undefinable things like “self actualization.”

But no matter how you get self actualized, or how long you stay there, you still gotta eat.

And if you stay outside in the elements too long, you will die.

Even if you DO become self-actualized, it happens inside your biological body.

And your biological body comes with urges that keep you from dying.

Urges like eating when you are hungry, having sex when you have a willing partner.

Running away from an animal that wants to eat you.

After all, if a hungry predator sees you meditation, it doesn’t really care if you are self actualized or not.

I’m sure from a predator’s standpoint, a self-actualized human tastes just as good as a non-self actualized human.

Putting esoteric ideas aside, all of our biological urges, which were given to us to help us stay alive, were “calibrated” during a much different environment that the one we live in now.

This is the reason why so many people are overweight.

Having the “eat all you can whenever you can” instinct was PERFECT way back in the day.

Today, not so much.

This is also why relationships are so frikking confusing these days.

Our “relationship instincts” were calibrated in a MUCH DIFFERENT environment than we live in.

One way is how we deal with “opportunity cost.”

Opportunity cost is an economic term that means when you buy X, for a certain amount of money, you CAN’T buy anything else.

IF you buy a cheeseburger, you CAN’T buy a burrito with that same money.

When this comes to dating, it works the same way.

If you are IN a relationship with person X, you CAN’T be in a relationship with everybody else.

Way back in the day this wasn’t a big deal.

But today, with a kajillion pretty faces bombarding us every single second, it is very much a big deal.

But since our deep instincts are still the same, AND our instincts tend to rule our actions, they must be addressed.

The good news is if you learn how to do that, your relationships will be much easier and much more rewarding.

It will take time, but consider putting in the effort.

Because creating very healthy relationship with a compatible person is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things about being human.

Learn How:


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