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How To Out Frame Everybody


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Next time you are in the middle of a randomly flowing conversation, do this experiment.

Watch not only how people talk, but watch how the content of the conversation is an organically evolving "thing."

Kind of like a beach ball at a concert or sporting event.

People kind of see it bouncing around.

When it comes their way they try and keep it bouncing around.

Watch people watching this imaginary "conversational ball" floating around.

Most people are doing a couple of things when they are NOT talking.

They are paying attention to whoever is talking.

And they are trying to come up with a related story or anecdote.

So if this imaginary conversation ball comes their way, they can add to it and keep it bouncing around.

When the conversation dies out, it's very much like "dropping the ball."

Everybody looks around for somebody to hopefully get it going again.

Very much like standing in a circle and hitting a volleyball around, or playing hacky sack.

The longer the ball keeps flowing, the better.

But this is difficult (and create anxiety) if you don't happen to have any stories or related anecdotes.

The longer you stand there without talking, the more you start to get worried that everybody is watching you stand there without talking.

This leads to the most common "reason" for social anxiety.

"I don't know what to say."

Luckily, there is a very easy solution.

And that is instead of focusing on CONTENT, start to train your ears and brain to focus on STRUCTURE.

The structure of any random conversation is very similar.

And it's filled with possibility.

For you to reach in there, tweak it, and create some very happy, and very goofy feelings in their brains.

And since this structure is something few people ever notice, it will make you look like you're on another level than everybody else.

Even if you borrow the content from other people.

This means you don't have to have any stories, or clever anecdotes or tales of adventure.

Just the ability to playfully tweak the structure of anybody's conversation.

This is the kind of party skills that not only make you memorable, but an IN DEMAND party guest.

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