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Instant Rapport Signals


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Here's a pretty cool experiment to do next time you're walking down the street.

There needs to be a bunch of other people walking around for it to work.

You can do it anywhere there are people walking in both directions.

First, defocus your eyes so you are kind of looking above everybody's head.

So you see the crowd of people as kind of a blur, with you looking past them.

You'll find it's very easy to NOT crash into anybody, even without paying attention.

Once you experience that, try something different.

Instead of looking above everybody making eye contact with somebody as you are moving closer to one another.

You don't even need to make eye contact.

Just tune your eyes so you are looking at their forehead or chest (be careful!)

You'll find when you do this, it's hard to NOT bump into people.

Scientists have studied this phenomenon extensively.

They set up cameras on huge, extremely busy streets in places like New York.

Trying to figure out why, despite so many people walking past each other, few people ever crash into each other.

They figure we have some kind of "not crash into another person strategy" in our brains.

And it works PERFECTLY so long as we all have the same strategy.

Go left, go left, go right, for example.

If YOU go left, and the OTHER PERSON goes left, you'll move in opposite directions.

It turns out that each individual only needs a very simple strategy.

Left, left right, or right, right left, for example.

Because all you need to do is move OPPOSITE to the other person.

But that all changes once you make eye contact.

Once we humans make eye contact we AUTOMATICALLY get into rapport.

And when we're in rapport, we automatically MIRROR each other.

Which makes it HARD to NOT crash into somebody.

This is very similar to how we all think and feel in social situations.

EVERYBODY is nervous to some extent.

Few people are willing to GO FIRST.

But it's the same phenomenon.

Everybody is thinking the same thing, so NOBODY interacts.

Just like nobody crashes into each other.

But as SOON as you create rapport, (which is easy and automatic), crossing the "verbal barrier" is much easier.

Because once you know what to look for, you'll see it.

A very clear, non-verbal signal that means, "Please start a conversation with me!"

The truth about humans is that we are VERY SOCIAL creatures.

As those street experiments show, even when two strangers are in a hurry, as soon as they make eye contact (and get into rapport) it is HARD to break rapport.

Because being in rapport FEELS FANTASTIC.

Imagine how much better simple conversations will be.

Once you learn how to safely and systematically create them, you'll discover a whole new world out there waiting.

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