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How To Eradicate Social Fears


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Fear is an interesting concept.

It's an ancient instinct, and like all instincts, it compels us to certain actions, so we don't have to think.

Perhaps there was an ancient race of people who sat down and calculated everything, like Vulcans, but they were too slow and they all got eaten.

Instincts work because we don't HAVE to think.

And they are very much based on the "better safe than sorry" strategy.

Meaning if you see a yellow flower waving in the wind, it will induce fear (fight or flight) and you'll run away.

Because you're instincts figure it COULD be a tiger, the rule is run away first, and think about it later.

Just taking the time to decide if it were a tiger, (which would require conscious thinking) would be too long.

This means that you can't OUT THINK your fears.

This is one of the main ideas behind the three second rule.

It's got nothing to do with the person you are approaching.

The idea is to get moving BEFORE your "fear instinct" has a chance to change your mind.

And as I'm sure you're well aware, the LONGER you wait, the HARDER it gets.

You can't OUT THINK your fears, but you CAN reframe them.

Consider a social situation.

You see a person you'd like to approach.

Then your brain calculates EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME.

And comes up with a "best case," a "worse case" and a probability.

Just like with the yellow flower.

Since we can't eat flowers, there is absolutely NOTHING to be gained by approaching carefully.

And since tigers are about as dangerous as you can get, running away, even if we are pretty sure it's a flower, is the right choice.

But with people, it's a little different.

The fear (or more appropriately, anxiety) that bubbles up when thinking about approaching somebody is NOT NEARLY as terrifying as getting eaten alive.

But it's still there.

But it's vaguer, and slower.

You're brain's got to do a LOT to become anxious.

It's got to check your memory, it's got to think through all the things YOU might say, all the things SHE might say, and then come up with an answer.

The three second rule works because if you start moving within three seconds, your brain is STILL trying to figure out how to feel.

Three seconds is like a magic window of opportunity.

But there's a way to make it MUCH easier.

To program your brain so anxiety NEVER happens.

And not just in social situations, in ANY situation.

(except with REAL danger, like tigers)

And fear based on any communication with any person can be OBLITERATED.

By rewiring your fear circuitry in your brain.

Once you do that, ANYTHING is possible.

Learn How:


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