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Are You Doing Things Backward?


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There was one episode of Seinfeld when George, one of the characters, accidentally discovered the secret of success.

He was a typical guy who had less success with the ladies than he wanted.

And one day, he gave up and tried something different.

What he did was the opposite of what he would normally do.

He would walk up to tall, gorgeous women (he was short) and say that he was unemployed, and that he lived with his parents.

And it would work like magic.

Of course, it was a comedy.

And it was TV.

But like most art, it imitates life.

Meaning when you are in a situation, sometimes doing the OPPOSITE of what your instincts are screaming at you to do is generally good idea.

For example, a guy sees a girl across the room.

He'd love to go over and talk to her.

So he waits, and thinks, and tries to come up with the perfect thing to say.

The more he does this, the more he "pedestalizes" her.

Meaning if she were just a normal person, he'd just walk over and say hey.

But the longer he tries to come up with the PERFECT line, the more he builds her up as this PERFECT creature in mind.

And the ONE THING that most gorgeous girls want is that people treat them like normal people.

Because they are gorgeous, guys are always walking on egg shells around them.

But on a much bigger picture, the "George Costanza" theory is even more accurate.

Because walking up and talking to a gorgeous girl might not even be the right strategy.


Think of what it implies.

Girls just show up, and guys have to do all the work.

Pretty girls sit there, wait for all the guys to approach them, and then choose the best one.

Simply by walking over there, you're playing into that strategy.

It's certainly not HER strategy.

That's just the way it ends up.

Imagine girls were always nervous around you since elementary school.

And every time they tried to talk to you, they were nervously trying to impress you.

You'd NEVER have to worry about approaching anybody.

You'd just sit there and let all the girls do the work.

Unfortunately, it's not like that.

Does this mean you've got to play the same game everybody else is playing?

Not at all.

In fact, this whole "guys approach the girls" strategy is VERY RECENT.

Instinctively, guys never had to worry too much about girls.

For the longest time, guys would chase life.

And girls would chase guys.

It's only been in the last few hundred years that the scripts have flipped.

But if you dig deep, and find your instincts.

And let them guide you.

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