Who Gives You Props?

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One critical skill to develop is to be internally motivated.

Especially when external factors are pulling you every which way.

There are plenty of things that we humans know are "good" but very few of us do them.

Exercise regularly.

Eat healthy.

Save money.

There are two elements that make choosing for yourself very difficult.

Social proof and authority.

Tons of experiments have shown that when these two things are pushing us one way, it's very hard to go the other way.

One of the reasons is something called "Meta Programs."

These are similar to those 16 personalities you get by taking the Myers-Briggs test.

But the Myters-Briggs is more "permanent."

Since it's who you "are."

Whereas Meta Programs are how you operate within the world.

They are more like filters.

And filters, as a metaphor and as real things, are meant to be changeable.

Check your camera on your phone, and there are tons of filters built in.

Meta Programs are things like "away from" motivation vs. "toward" motivation.

Are you more motivated away from bad things, or toward good things?

Or when you walk into an unfamiliar situation, do you sort for "sameness" or do you sort for "differences"?

Once you know how your "filters" are set up, you can slowly change them, if you want.

One of them is where you seek validation.

Externally or internally.

When you finish something, how do you KNOW you did a good job?

When YOU tell you, or when others tell you?

For most, it's a combination of both.

But if you are overly dependent on external validation, you can get into trouble.

Especially if that external validation is coming from a social reference group that isn't so helpful.

This is usually combined with not having any internally chosen goals.

If others choose your goals for you, then they will most likely be the ones who give you validation when those goals are complete.

If you start choosing and setting your own goals, you can start to give yourself validation.

Especially if you keep them secret.

Keeping your goals and objectives secret helps you to build up the positive validation from yourself.

Once you are motivated mostly by your own internal goals and validation, you'll find life is much easier.

Learn More:

http://mindpersuasion.com/nlp/