The Goldilocks Social Strategy

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One of the laws of economics is the idea of an opportunity cost.

Everything has a cost.

Even free stuff.

(There's generally a reason why it's free...)

Even if you shift in your seat,  you are spending energy (a calorie or two) to end up in a more comfortable position.

But when thinking of doing or buying things, we usually only think of the direct costs.

At least consciously.

If you want a burrito, for example, it will cost five bucks.

Or maybe some kind of effort, if the burrito store is a ways from your house.

But also embedded into getting anything is the idea of opportunity cost.

If you get a burrito, for example, you can't simultaneously get a cheeseburger.

You COULD, but eating a burrito AND a cheeseburger would be a different experience than only eating a burrito.

This is one of the things that can hold us back, on a subconscious level.

We want something.

But we also know that if we get that "something" we can't have another "thing."

Us humans like the idea of a vague but positive future.

This is why we like going on trips, birthday parties or other exciting things that are coming in the future.

A feeling of positive expectation, where you aren't quite sure WHAT is going to happen is a pretty good feeling.

And that vague positive expectation goes away when you KNOW what you are getting.

We very much like the idea of "winging it."

Some of the best experiences we have are when unexpected things happen.

If you are in a relationship, and you start doing the same things over and over again, it can get boring.

If you go to the same restaurant for dinner every night, it can get boring.

But on the flip side of unexpected GOOD things is unexpected BAD things.

As much as we love exciting adventures, we HATE dangerous risk.

It can be very tough to find a balance.

It can also be very easy to find yourself stuck.

Wishing you could do something different (since what you're doing is pretty boring).

But at the same to anxious or even scared to try something different.

If you feel this way, even sometimes, it could be a signal that our social instincts are out of calibration.

The whole purpose we have social instincts is to keep us within a safe and acceptable range.

Very much like Goldilocks.

Not too scary, but not too boring.

Just right.

But if your social instincts are out of whack, things could seem MORE scary than they really are.

And when you Re-Calibrate your social instincts, you won't have to think very much.

Just get in the game and have fun.

Learn More:

Ego Taming