Cold Reading

[generaly]

I first did Cold Reading when I was a youngster with a psychic act.  Interestingly, even when I told people that it was a trick, some still thought I was psychic, and maybe I was.  Anyway, Cold Reading is like your video "Read People" but it includes the telling of the subject what it is that you read - sometimes I just say "I am guessing that..." then using what they say as a "hook" to gain a "lead" toward a greater conversation and deepening.  I am a wacky new ager and I use it to help do pscyhic readings - I don't know what is skill and what is pscyhic, nor do I care.  It is also useful in sales to help find out what the client needs.  But, the real use is in seduction - holy smokes!!!  I can talk to a woman for hours now without end, if I want to, but sometimes I go for the silent periods.  It also helps with sexual escalation, boy does it ever!  Cold reading is great way to lead a conversation, even without using any actual "reading."

Peace and Love, Generaly.

[Athena]

Awesome!  Sounds great.  I'm glad you've found it helpful with those things including sexual escalation but do you think it can be used the other way - for dates and romance?  I have no trouble getting offers to erm offers to get off ha ha but right now (and I vary!) I want to get more dates and guys being more romantic with me (which HAS started to happen!)  You probably haven't used it to get those things, I imagine but hypothetically, do you think it COULD be? 

[generaly]

I have an "Intuition, Perception, Insight, Awareness, Sensitivity, Clairvoyance, Sixth sense, Hunch, Feeling, Inkling, Suspicion, Sense, Surmise, or Flash" that "you are a really romantic guy or have no problem asking a girl out or arranging to hang out."

 

From the little I know about you, I "Reckon or Suppose" that you are a really romantic guy, how does that usually show?

 

I would "Guess, Deduce, Speculate, Presume, or Suppose" that you are really passionate and love life.

 

You know what? You really "Seem, Appear, Look, Give the impression, Seem like, Look as if, or Look like" somebody who really knows what they like and really goes for it!  Would really enjoy a hug!  Like somebody who isn't afraid of romance and getting close to someone. 

 

You know, there are so many women out there who are just closed off and not fun.  But you, you seem like the kind of girl who isn't afraid of opening up and having fun.  Am I right?

[Athena]

LOL!  

I changed my photo so you can see I am all woman!

I AM romantic but I am a gal and I am straight. 

I am passionate and I do love life. 

I know what i like - though I can be really indecisive at times, oh my gosh! but I know what I want in regards to some things.

Sometimes I go for it, sometimes I get so afraid but I have come a long way, baby.

I LOVE hugs.

I love romance but I am also a little scared of it! The same with getting close to someone.

I am definitely the kind of girl who isn't afraid of opening up - though I can keep a lot inside too - and having fun.  

Fun rocks! 

I can be quite erm hedonistic so maybe it's that that comes across as male and I can certainly be a tom-boy in some ways, and a girlie girl in others.

[Athena]

I'm a girl who is back in online dating - though I am also more and more pushing myself to go out and meet people that way too - I can be very friendly but also a bit self conscious.  Anyway on the online dating, sometimes I get guys ask me on dates, but I also get asked for sex a lot too.  

Which is not really an insult, I don't think, but if I get asked that a lot, I start to wonder what is wrong with me am I not pretty enough to be asked on actual dates or are they just so horny they ask everyone ha ha and cross their fingers! (Or do I have a slutty face somehow?  If I DO, it's not like I am trying to LOL!) 

 

Unlike a lot of people, I enjoy going out on dates.  

I had two dates in two weeks recently.  

Neither of them are going to go anywhere I can now see, but I still made the most of it and in both cases had a lovely night out.

I am getting closer to being ready for another actual boyfriend relationship, but I'm still not there yet, not ready enough yet, I can feel it.

But I don't want to have NO love life at ALL until I can, nor am i on any kind of mission to be laid by as many guys as possible. 

Hey, i love sex!  But without also being offered romance, it gets boring after a while to only be offered sex - and BELIEVE me it is often no no no I don't want to give them impression I am having sex with guys galore, I am not!  (NOT that there's anything WRONG with that!) so I want to change things around and changes HAVE started to happen again! 

 

So you got MOST of it right, except I am female but sometimes I do think like a guy about certain things so you may have picked up on that too, perhaps. 

I STILL want to know if I can get more dates from cold reading!  LOL!  I quite like my anonymity online so after I know you have read this, I am changing my photo back!! 

[generaly]

Wow Athena, I am so honored that you dropped you avatar for me!

I think that you are cute!  And, you seem like you might be a cool person.

I am so into the face-to-face that I don't have a picture or avatar to share, I haven't even tried on-line dating...

I would like to thank you for giving me so much information about yourself.  Just based on your response, I feel we could talk for hours.  In addition, I am getting the impression that you are going for something deeper than only just sex, that you are also going for a feeling of deep connection.  The kind of connection that warms the heart and satisfies the soul.

I will make another post about the technical aspects of Cold Reading and how our conversation can be taken as an example of it.

Peace and Love, Generaly.

[generaly]

Athena,

Well, first of let me say that the main purpose of Cold Reading the learning about someone and finding new areas to talk about and connect with, but you can also use it to screen with.  And, sometimes in the process of this I “tease” or “hex” my partner quite a bit.  I guess you could say that I filter my women pretty strongly.  Because I do the face-to-face only, the first filter is appearance – why approach a woman that I’m not attracted to visually?  Second is her response to my approach – here in Atlanta there are so many women to approach that I just very politely move on with a “maybe later” goodbye, if she is not pleasant.  Really, why waste my time trying to convince a woman to be pleasant to me?  I feel that my NLP, seduction and sexual skills are a gift to a woman who has a presence (energy) that makes me want to spend time with her.  At that point, I don’t care how good looking she is.

 

So, what I am trying to say is that Cold Reading is a great way to filter out unsuitable partners (at least at that time).  Also, you can use it to lead your partner to areas of greater fun and pleasure – no harm done.

 

So what happened in our conversation?  (I am not saying that these things only happen in Cold Reading, they happen all the time.  But when you are Cold Reading, you are leading…but from a non-pushy aspect.):

 

1.  I was too lazy in my post to state that the first lines were for you to use with guys…so, you naturally assumed I thought you were a guy and gave me a bunch of information.  Wow, there are many things in there just related to this that we could talk about, including many opportunities for me to tease you.  It just goes to show that you don’t have to right when you make your guess; sometimes a wrong guess is better.  A funny example, I am a dancer, and I had met a woman at a club who was a bit closed up so I said (yeah I can be an asshole sometimes); “I am guessing that you are a lesbian, but that’s ok, I will dance with anyone.”  Boy, she really opened up then (she was a hetro) and we had a really great time.  Yeah, sometimes I play with fire…but it is one of my screens to see how a woman handles being mildly provoked (I really don’t want any angry or violent women – there are way too many).
2. I made my guesses from the mild to the suggestive, and you either confirmed or denied them.  Compare this with the usual “interrogation” tactic.  “Do you like hugs?” “Do you like to cuddle?”  “Do you like sex?”  Also, you gave me a bunch of information.  Some teachers call this the “hook” (making a mental note of EVERY new piece and information and saying or asking something about them), and “lead” (moving the conversation and your questions/guesses toward what it is that you want) method.
3. You said that you want “romance” and “dating.”  So, I would say to sit down and make a list of what that specifically means to you.  Then when you are involved in a conversation you can use this to “lead” the conversation using Cold Reading.  I gave some examples in my first response where you thought that I thought that you were a guy, but you will likely want to make up ones personal to you.
4. There are a lot of reasons that I have been turned off by on-line dating, even though I do lurk a bit.  I am doing some research on Swinging and BDSM and I have been lurking on their sites just to see what’s up.  I had to get free memberships to see what I wanted to see, but I don’t want to make a post (but I have fantasized about it).  Part of it is that from what I hear, on-line dating actually can have a great deal more rejection.  For example, I have no problem meeting and dating beautiful young women (youngest in past month is 18) face-to-face (I am 56), but you know that most 18 year olds would reject me out of hand on-line.  Also in face to face, the woman can see my physical shape (I am in good shape), my looks (I am acceptable to most women), my personality (I am a fun, friendly, low pressure guy), conversation skills (I can talk with anyone) and my “balls” (who else has walked up to them with no hesitation today?).  I have also heard that at least one of the on-line partners rejects the other about 50% of the time when they first meet in person…what a waste of time and “interest”!

My suggestion, start approaching guys you like, screen them, and lead them toward what it is that you want.  I am going to guess that you will get more done in one hour than you could do in many hours on-line.  Simple, but not easy.  I still make a fool of myself all the time, and I get rejected.  And, it still hurts!  But, with time you will find ways of dealing with it.  For example, it is easier for me to begin the process of forgetting a brutal rejection when I politely move on and connect with an even more attractive woman.

 

Also, there are ways to use this technique to reject guys in a very polite and low-charge way (I am NOT going to write an example, because knowing you, you will think that I am blowing you off ;-)

 

Summary of Cold Reading: Making guesses, talking about the information they give you, and leading them using their information and more guesses.

 

Peace and Love, Generaly.

[Athena]

That is really helpful and definitely interesting to read!

 

I will definitely reply more to it later but thank you for taking the time to give me such a thorough reply.

Hmmmm you also made me think about the online dating v face to face.

Main reason I am on in it because of time (the time involved in figuring out if a guy I find attractive and interesting is straight (bi is fine too) single, looking and interested in me back and so on) but now I can see more the benefits of attracting men offline too.