Widen Your Social Net

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I took an improv acting class once.

It was not like I expected.

I'd thought it was some kind of comedy thing.

But it way different.

Most of it was these really goofy but strangely eye opening exercises.

For example, all of the students were in the center, and the professor would say, "Doghouse."

And then we'd have to move around into the shape of a doghouse, but WITHOUT any overt communication. No words, no gestures, pointing etc.

And he kept shouting out different shapes, and after the third or fourth one, all of us (who barely knew each other) would immediately get into position.

The thing about human communication is we tend to put WAY too much emphasis on words.

Studies have shown over and over that words only make up 7% of we're saying.

So if you are ONLY focusing on what specific words to say, you're missing a HUGE part of the puzzle.

Unfortunately, one thing that keeps you from "feeling" the other 93% is stress.

Once we are under stress, we close off and start to think in terms of "fight or flight." 

A good exercise to do on a regular basis is to people watch. Turn off your phone, get a table near the window, and just watch. 

Turn off your mind as much as you can, and simply absorb all the non-verbal communication going on around you.

Try and guess which people are happy, which are bored, which are trying to sell something, etc.

Think of this as building your "unconscious communication" muscle.

The flip side of this is how you present yourselves to others.

If you're worried and nervous, everybody is going to know, at least on an unconscious level.

Simply toning down your anxiety will open you up to a HUGE portion of the non-verbal communication that is going on all the time.

This does take practice, but is very powerful.

And you'll have access to a whole new world most people never see.

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