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Is the pain of a break up is related to guilt/regret?


Skylar Lake

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Think of all the things you plan to do in the future with your significant other and how you lose all those plans once a relationship is over.  Maybe part of the pain involved in a break up, comes not just from losing that person but losing all the things you had hoped and dreamed for, whether marriage, children, stability, home, companionship, etc. 

 

Another thing could be regret, over not having done some things with your partner or not having been fully open.  You will always look back and say, 'if only!' and wonder if that was the reason the relationship did not work out.

 

Of course, there are other factors involved such as how you will likely miss the person's company (assuming it did not end badly).  This could be especially true if you were co-dependent or depended on them to be around often and got addicted to their presence. 

 

Do you believe that guilt or regret play a part in the grieving process that happens when a relationship breaks up?

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Guest Beverly

You have to realize there are two people in the relationship that could have made it work and two people who are at fault for it's failure.  You cannot sabotage a relationship alone.  Even in situations of adultery, usually one spouse feels abandoned by the other before resorting to an extra marital affair.  That may not be a conventional way of thinking, but rarely does a relationship failure solely ride on just one person.  For that reason, you cannot shoulder the burden alone. The feeling of guilt is usually related to the false notion that somehow you alone could have rescued the relationship from failure, while in truth it takes two to tango.

 

Find a friend to talk your feelings over with.  Journal your thoughts.  Say your positive affirmations to lift your spirits.  But, don't allow yourself to wallow in the grief that will hold you back from finding love again.

Just know that your heart will go on and you will be OK in time.

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