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Found 5 results

  1. One of the biggest stumbling blocks is our natural inability to live with uncertainty. This "fear" comes across in many ways. We have a ton of biases, things that filter out things our subconscious doesn't want us to see. Cognitive dissonance is a general term for many of these. There is something in our environment, or a certain interpretation of something in our environment, that represents DANGER to our ego. So our cognitive dissonance, or a collection of biases, KEEPS US from seeing that. Any time we can avoid admitting that we SUCK, or we MIGHT SUCK, this pops up. And our brains are VERY CLEVER and VERY SLIPPERY in how it manifests this. For example, you'll read about a "strategy." Usually a strategy that is based on some kind of social interaction. A complex social interaction that will either get you affection or money. The TWO THINGS that are the most important. Since they (money and sex) represent survival and reproduction. But if the strategy involves ANY KIND of uncertainty, this can be very troubling. Our lightning fast subconscious will extrapolate. We'll imagine trying that strategy, and failing. And that means if we fail, we WILL NEVER get money or sex. Since this represents a huge FAILURE on a deep level, we don't even ALLOW OURSELVES to contemplate this. So we REFRAME our fears into strengths. And we do this on a SUBCONSCIOUS level, so we don't even know we are doing this. This usually comes across consciously as being skeptical. We express this "healthy skepticism" as wanting PROOF that the strategy works. After all, only a MORON would rush forward and try something so foolish, right? At least this is what we tell ourselves. Unfortunately, with a little bit of uncomfortable SCIENTIFIC LOGIC, this need for proof is actually IRRATIONAL. See, if there was any PROOF that any money or romantic strategy worked, that would mean some IMPOSSIBLE THINGS. For one, the OTHER PEOPLE we would be using these strategies on would be ROBOTS. If we could see ONE PERSON using a strategy, and we expected ourselves to use that exact same strategy, and get the exact same results, that would also mean that WE are robots. The truth is that EVERY interaction between any two humans involves a TON of uncountable and immeasurable variables. You have the same conversation with the same person on two different days, and you'll get two different results. Two different people try the same pick up line on the same girl, and they'll both get different results. So the idea of waiting for "proof" is illogical. And it ONLY serves to protect your ego. The real secret to getting anything is to TRY SOMETHING. Something where you DON'T KNOW what is going to happen. This is the only real way to learn anything. Fortunately, most people are TERRIFIED of doing this. Which means if YOU can, and do it consistently, you will CLEAN UP. Money, love, success, whatever you want. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  2. If you wanted to make a sandwich, it would be easy. So long as you had some bread, and some stuff to put between the bread, you'd be OK. On the other hand, if you had a whole bunch of stuff, and a whole bunch of different bread, it MIGHT be difficult. If you were hungry but you didn't know what you wanted. You might stare at all your bread. Stare at all the stuff you could put between them. On the other hand if you had an idea of what you wanted, it would be quick. On the other hand, if you were hungry, knew what you wanted, but ALL you had was an empty jar of mayonnaise, you'd be in trouble. No bread, no meat, nothing to eat. You can think of anything in these simple terms. With a strong choice, and plenty of options, getting what you want is easy. With only a vague desire, and plenty of options, it's difficult. Plenty of studies show that when we have too much choice, it's actually worse than having NO choice. They give one group of kids a choice of two "prizes" to take home. They give another group of kids no choice. They just give them a prize. Turns out the kids that have NO choice are happier. The ones that choose "prize A," for example, always second guess themselves. Plenty of marketers have also found this out. Pasta sauce makers, for example, have found that if they INCREASE the flavors too much, people buy LESS. For choosing pasta sauce, the sweet spot is 2-4 choices. Anything beyond 4 is too confusing. Of course, the opposite isn't much better. Of KNOWING what you want and having NO choice. Obviously, the BEST situation would be to KNOW what you wanted, and to have PLENTY of different ways to satisfy that desire. This goes way beyond sandwiches and pasta sauces. Many people spend WAY too long wondering what they want to "be" when they "grow up." Unfortunately, we don't have an UNLIMITED TIME to choose. It only feels that way when we are young. But the clock is always ticking. The best situation is to have plenty of choices, plenty of time, and plenty of options. And being able to have a LONG VIEW so you can choose not only for today, but WAY out into the future. The better you can see how the future MIGHT unfold, the better you'll be able to choose. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  3. When I was a kid I used to play golf. My friends and I would play at this nine hole course next to our junior high school. I had some hand-me-down clubs, and it was only $5 to play. One hole gave me problems. We had to hit over the water. Seeing the water always messed me up. Then another kid gave me some fantastic advice. Advice that I keep playing in my mind whenever I need it. And that was to pretend the water was green grass. To negatively hallucinate the obstacle. So I could see and focus on the objective beyond it. Of course, he didn't put it like this. He just told me to pretend the water was grass. But in effect, this is a very powerful strategy. Whenever you have a long term objective, but a shorter term obstacle is in the way. Even metaphorically, this can mess us up. The short term obstacle tends to grab our attention. So we lose sight of the longer term goal. That phrase, "lose sight" is VERY appropriate. Even when thinking metaphorically, we still speak in terms of SEEING things. If you are thinking about a long term objective, but the short term obstacle is messing you up. Another visual metaphor is that short term obstacle is CLOUDING your vision. You can't SEE the big picture. If you can see your objective with TUNNEL VISION, you are purposely excluding the things you don't want to see. All visual metaphors that are IDEAL for describing ideas. It turns out that purposely practicing SEEING THINGS in your mind's eye can help. For example, if it's Monday, and you've got a lot of things to accomplish. You can LITERALLY close your eyes and SEE each day. Then you can SEE what you'll be enjoying on the weekend. This is something you can practice. And just like anything else, the more you practice, the better you'll get. So if you practice looking toward the weekend with tunnel vision on EASY objectives, you'll get better and better. At first, you'll only be "strong enough" to exclude mundane obstacles you'll need to deal with. But pretty soon, if you STRENGTHEN your tunnel vision, you'll be able to VISUALIZE outcomes that are further and further out in the future. Seeing further goals out in the future requires two separate skills. One is having a LONG VIEW. Two is being able to purposely exclude the things you don't want to see. Just like pretending water is really grass. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  4. If you learn something that's helpful in one context, it's sometimes not so helpful in another context. Once my friend talked me into going snowboarding. I had done a lot of skateboarding when I was younger. I mistakenly assumed they would be similar. It took me a long time to get from the top to the bottom. Even though it LOOKED the same, it was completely different. Very rarely will you get a professional athlete that is skilled in more than one sport. Plenty of us have baggage from childhood. We "learn" certain things that are helpful in certain contexts. But they mess us up as adults. For example, most kids learn between the ages of 2-3 that is CAN be dangerous to be outgoing and expressive. So later in adulthood, we WANT to express ourselves, but we feel a deep and barely perceptible anxiety. This even works with our instincts. What helped us humans a LONG time ago is a pain today. Way, way, back in the day, it was a benefit to be hungry. It was a benefit to eat everything you could whenever you have a chance. Obviously, that strategy today isn't so helpful. Today, if you want to stay healthy, you've got to think a little bit about what and how often you eat. Many of our other instincts are the same. Helpful back then, not so much today. One of them is how and who we learn from. Way back then, and even recently, it was a good strategy to simply copy those older than you. When you were old enough, you could take over. But today, that strategy won't work so well. The skills that were helpful even ten years ago aren't so helpful today. Just like we need to think about what and how often we eat, we need to think about what we learn. One of the biggest mistakes is thinking somebody can TELL US what we need to do. This is very dangerous. Mainly because it FEELS comfortable. To be told EXACTLY what to do. Because if there really WAS a step by step plan for ANYTHING, everybody would be able to do it. And if EVERYBODY could do it, it wouldn't be worth much. The trick is to find out on your own what to do. And how to do it. This is not easy. This requires living with a little bit of uncertainty. It requires SLOWLY expanding your comfort zone. Many people cannot or will not do this. Which means if YOU can, you will have a huge advantage. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  5. https://mindpersuasion.com/update-strategies-or-die/
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