Jump to content
Mind Persuasion Forum

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'social anxiety'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


  • Mind Persuasion
    • Mind Persuasion Videos
    • Mind Persuasion Products
    • Mind Persuasion News
    • Mind Persuasion Affiliates
  • NLP and Hypnosis
    • NLP
    • Hypnosis
  • Self Development
    • Books
    • Techniques
  • Wealth
    • Entrepreneurial
    • Investing
    • Online Marketing
  • Relationships
    • Attraction
    • Maintenance
    • Breakups
  • Beyond Science
    • Tools
    • Techniques
  • Anything Else
    • Anything Goes


  • Member Videos
  • Bhardwaj1994's Blog
  • GaiaWise's Blog
  • Skye's the Limit
  • The Adventures of Light
  • The Sacred Warrior Blog
  • My way to start the last change!
  • firekid1331's Blog
  • Peyton Dracco's Blog
  • Subliminal Shinobi's Blog


There are no results to display.

Find results in...

Find results that contain...

Date Created

  • Start


Last Updated

  • Start


Filter by number of...


  • Start





Website URL







  1. Find Your Happy Zone: https://mindpersuasion.com/find-your-happy-zone/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  2. You Don't Need Permission: https://mindpersuasion.com/you-dont-need-permission/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  3. Stop Building Up Regret: https://mindpersuasion.com/stop-building-up-regret/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  4. Social Economics Love Strategy: https://mindpersuasion.com/social-economics-love-strategy/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  5. Give Your Teacher The Finger: https://mindpersuasion.com/give-your-teacher-the-finger/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  6. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov24Post.mp4 I love horror movies. Good horror movies are hard to find. But the ones that ARE good, are really good. Believable character arcs. A careful calibration of deep and ancient human fears. Especially ones that have a really SICK reveal at the end. Who the villain is, etc. One such movie is "Orphan." Good build up, horrific ending. Starts out pretty predictable. Couple is thinking about adopting. They adopt a kid that SEEMS normal, but then everything falls apart. I remember one scene in particular. One that made me shrink in my seat. The family had a son, and right off the bat, the adopted daughter and the blood son were in conflict. The son had a tree house. He was starting to suspect she was EVIL. So he was hiding behind a rock, watching her walk to his tree house. She was getting ready to light it on fire or something. The audience was seeing things from the little kid's point of view. He hiding behind the rock, her walking perpendicularly toward the tree house. About twenty yarsd away. Then she STOPPED, and at the same time STARED right at the kid. And the audience. This is very, very ancient fear. Of watching some predator HOPING they don't notice you. If the predator stops DEAD in it's tracks, and STARES right at you, it's all over. If you run, they'll chase you and eat you. If you stay where you are, they'll closely walk closely to you and eat you. There's even one REAL photo of guy JUST BEFORE he got eaten by a tiger. Horrific. Dude fell into the tiger cage. He was crouching down, head bowed, his over his face. Tiger was starting DIRECTLY at him. Tiger's head was about a foot higher than the poor guy. That would be a HORRIBLE way to die. The WORST imaginable. Eye contact, especially from a stranger, kicks of that same, flight or fight response. If you are checking out a pretty lady and she glances at you WITHOUT smiling, you feel like you've committed a felony. But at the same time, eye contact is the most FANTASTIC thing you can ever experience. You meet a pretty lady. You have some nice sex. You're laying in bed together, looking at each other's reflections in each other's eyes. Your brain is shut OFF, and you are in LOVE MODE. At least temporarily. Now, here's the question. Suppose you could CREATE that kind of eye contact with strangers? To send them a signal of mutual self acceptance and appreciation? What would THAT do for your confidence? Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/seductive-eye-contact/
  7. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept21Post.mp4 One of our biggest worries is knowing what to say. Job interviews, meeting new friends, talking to cute guys or girls. When two people meet each other for the first time, even with random strangers, we go into a kind of "defense mode." Everybody has a whole bunch of different layers. When you are with old and close friends, you can "let it all hang out." Fart, burp, drop as a many f-bombs as you want. But if you did that during a job interview, or on a first date, it would probably backfire. This makes rational sense. From a logical, outside in perspective, takes time to get to know somebody. It takes time for people to get to know us. A very, very common problem is knowing how, specifically to make a good first impression. Especially if you ONLY have a few precious minutes. Job interviews, first dates or first conversations. Many people have TONS of experience of how much people like you once they get to know you. But how most people get to know you happens organically and mostly subconsciously. This is the biggest problem with modern dating. There aren't many opportunities to organically "get to know people." So we have to consciously do something that is normally left to an organic and natural process. You see somebody, you'd like to get to know them, and you KNOW that if they took the time to get to know you, they'd like you. Maybe not fall-in-love like you but, at least enjoy from a friendly, conversational perspective. The problem is that THEY feel the same way. THEY would also like people to give them a chance. So we end up with a world where everybody has the same feeling, and the same strategy. That if only OTHER PEOPLE would "give" them a chance to get to know them, then these "other people" would like them. And when you get a roomful or a planet full of people waiting around to be GIVEN a chance, you get a lot of frustration. And since most people use the "onion strategy" this takes even longer, which creates even more frustration. What is the "onion strategy"? Of of starting from the outside layer, and then SLOWLY peeling back all the layers to the inside. Just thinking about this causes frustration. Small talk on the outer later. A number exchange a little bit deeper. A few texts back and forth a little bit deeper. Meeting for drinks a little bit deeper. As soon as we see somebody we'd LIKE to know, we subconsciously imagine ALL the work it would take to show them the real us. And for us to know the real them. The common response to this is to be as fake as possible. On as many layers as possible. Lucky for us, there IS another way. To ignore all that surface level stuff and LEAD with your inner, true self. This is not based on conversations, or words or even conscious strategies. Just a "re-calibration" of your inner core. So who you REALLY are resonates so strongly all you need to do is show up. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-mindset/
  8. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July17Post.mp4 One common piece of advice, if you want to approach an attractive person, is act like they are your friend. This is slightly different than the "be yourself" advice, but its intentions are the same. When you are with your friends, you are yourself. The idea is pretty simple. When you are yourself, you are your most congruent. Your brain is working the quickest. The most uninhibited by social anxiety. You can respond playfully to your buddies at the highest level of efficiency. This is the result of being in close rapport. Being in rapport has many different levels. But being in rapport with closer friends is about the best you can get. So when they say, "be yourself," when they approach, it's actually good advice. And the idea of treating them like a friend is the same thing. A different means to the same end. Most normal humans, when they talk to an attractive stranger, are, right out of the gait, much less efficient. Much less congruent. We want something, otherwise we wouldn't have approached. We are nervous, because we might ask and they might say no. This means unless they see us, and ALREADY have a good idea they'd like to get to know us BEFORE we open our mouths, this strategy is likely to fail. This is why most people believe that LOOKS are really important. They only SEEM to be because everybody approaches strangers with a mix of desire, hope, and nervousness. But this rabbit hole goes even deeper. Because when you mix hope, anxiety and uncertainty, you also get, as an automatic response from your ancient brain, is a WORST case scenario. When you approach a friend, you have ZERO of this "energy." When you approach a stranger that YOU'VE already decided you want to get to know, but mix in worry and anxiety, that creates a nervous frame. This frame is RESONATED in them. Even if we don't know people, we get into and out of rapport with strangers ALL THE TIME. This is a function of our ancient, social animal instincts. So it's IMPOSSIBLE for them to not pick up on your nervous energy. Again, this is why people THINK that looks are the most important. Because really good looks, or outward signs of wealth are the ONLY THINGS that can overcome this common nervousness. Do you need to be attractive, or wealthy to approach your friends? Nope. And when you approach strangers with this same frame, they'll respond to YOU the same way your friends will. But it's not as simple as just "being yourself." But you can practice this frame. This very strong frame of SELF ACCEPTANCE. It's just like doing pushups. It might suck at the beginning, but when you build up the power of this self-acceptance frame, something FANTASTIC will happen. You really WILL accept yourself. This means you WILL be yourself, around everybody. Not only will all social anxiety VANISH, but when you approach, they will feel this non-anxiety, self acceptance energy. And talking to them will be a piece of cake. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/conversation-hero/
  9. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Apr21Post.mp4 This place where I used to live had an arm wrestling stand set up near the main station. It was just a tallish table, with a couple of slots for people to put their elbows in. It was only up during the summer. Where guys could stop and compete on their way home from drinking in the pubs around the station. On the other hand, they also have professional arm wrestlers. People spend their career getting stronger and stronger for arm wrestling competitions. Most of us, however, only arm wrestle under certain scenarios. A lot of physical contests are like this. We compete once in a while. But at the same time, there are plenty of niche sports where people compete for a living. Plenty of sports based game shows, etc. You'll find this same thing in public speaking. Most of us are terrified of public speaking. Some people are pretty good at public speaking, so they have jobs or careers around this skill. But some people compete based on public speaking. Usually in debates, but sometimes in single speeches. But for those who really want to clean up, they have jobs that are based on their public speaking performance, like sales jobs, etc. But they also PRACTICE public speaking techniques. Even rarer are people who realize that public speaking is a very useful skill in general, so they practice it. Sure, it's one thing to practice public speaking because it's a hobby. But to practice this because you can consciously earn more money is a pretty rare thing. Even rarer are general personality traits. The only people that tend to practice these are guys who practice game. To develop interpersonal confidence and communication skills so you can get more sex. That makes sense. At least to some people. To the general, mainstream population, practicing any kind of "pick up" technique to get more sex would be perceived as kind of creepy. But there are much deeper skills. Much more powerful skills. More than contextual confidence. Even deeper than confidence itself. These are things that most people don't even know about. Let alone know how to practice. This involves the MEANING of things. The meaning of conversations. The meaning of reality. It turns out the meaning of most everything is really up to interpretation. Most people don't even consider this. Most people just show up and accept the general consensus. But when you realize just how flexible meaning is? Not only will you gain a lot more control, but you can do so covertly. This will give you an enormous amount of power. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  10. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb23Post.mp4 One of the interesting paradoxes is whatever you prepare for doesn't happen. But if you don't prepare, it will. Sometimes, this is kind of silly, like if you think it's going to rain. If you DON'T bring an umbrella, it will rain. If you DO bring an umbrella, it won't. This is a common idea in many martial arts movies. The whole reason to train and learn how to fight, is so you don't need to fight. If you walk into a bar while radiating SCARED energy, you'll become a target for those types who like to pick on people. On the other hand, if you walk into a bar with confident energy, nobody will mess with you. Quite a lot, if not most, of our communication is NON VERBAL. The way we walk, how fast or slow our eyes dart around the room, our shoulders, etc. Similarly, the more confident you are, the more attractive you'll be. There are two ways to build confidence. One is to simply get out there and get a ton of experience. For example, if you approach a cute girl you've been flirting with, and you have a TON of experience talking to and seducing cute girls, those memories will all be in your subconscious. As you are walking over there, your body language, posture, etc., will reflect all those positive memories. That will make you VERY attractive to her. The closer you get, the more nervous SHE'LL get. On the other hand, if you have few experiences, that will reflect in your body language as well. The closer you get to her, the more nervous YOU'LL get. Since you might not have a lot of experience seducing cute girls, your brain will automatically default to the WORST CASE scenario. She will pick up on you anxiety, and she'll become more confident. So, if you spend lots of time approaching, you'll slowly get more confident. But that takes a LONG TIME. There is a much easier way. A way to build MASSIVE confidence without every needing to approach. It's based on understanding the STRUCTURE of thought and language. When you approach a whole bunch of times, you are SLOWLY re-wiring your brain. But this is a very inefficient, brute force technique. There is a much more elegant way. A much safer and easier way. To re-wire your specific thoughts. To re-wire your specific anxieties and fears. All by some simple writing techniques. This doesn't just work on the ladies. This works on ANY kind of anxiety based on ANY kind of conversation with ANY kind of human. Re-wire your fears, and never worry about rejection again. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  11. Circle Origin Story: https://mindpersuasion.com/circle-origin-story/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb19Loop.mp4
  12. Anti Anxiety Nightmare: https://mindpersuasion.com/anti-anxiety-nightmare/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov05Loop.mp4
  13. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept03Post.mp4 One of our biggest thinking problems is mistaking correlation and causation. You'll see this everywhere. What's particularly amusing is if you trace a purely scientific research study. First it's written purely by academics for academics. Generally published in some kind of academic journal. Which means it needs to be approved an editor of an academic journal. But academic types need to earn a living just like everybody else. And many of these live off grants. And grants come from politicians. Which are the LEAST scientific people in society. So the next phase, after the academic paper is published, is to have it RE-WRITTEN by a science writer. For a more mainstream, yet still kind of scientific publication. Science writers are writers FIRST who have a working knowledge about science. So they need to dumb it down a little bit. And use some metaphors that aren't quite accurate. The next phase is when it's picked up by mainstream media. Which means it's SIGNIFICANTLY dumbed down for the masses. And given some kind of "hook." This is the stuff people read and talk about to make themselves sound intelligent. "Hey, have you heard the latest research?" "No, what is it?" "They found a link between bananas and erectile dysfunction!" "Wow, that's fascinating!" "Of course, correlation doesn't mean causation..." The problem with our ancient, instinctive cause-effect generator is not only was it calibrated for MUCH simpler times, it wasn't even supposed to be accurate. It was more of a "better safe than sorry" mechanism. If you THOUGHT that MAYBE there was a tiger hiding behind a bush, you MIGHT run away. But if your dumb caveman brain said, "Rustling bushes MEANS tiger" you'd run away much, much quickly. Our cause-effect generator was a FIGHT OR FLIGHT safety mechanism. It wasn't meant to find correlations between bananas and boners. But since it's an INSTINCT it's very hard to deal with. Especially when something BAD happens. Are brains are absolutely NOT wired to accept randomness. We HAVE to find reasons. Even super silly ones. Like not being able to get a boner because you ate too many bananas. But when something BAD happens, and there is no OBVIOUS cause, we have to FIND one. And the most common CAUSE of bad things is US. Somebody bad happens, and we ASSUME that we did something wrong. Even if was a random accident. When humans get dumped, (because we eat too many bananas) we always wonder: What did I do wrong? What's even WORSE is that because this is an instinct, all the BAD THINGS that happened when you were younger, you ASSUMED they were your fault. They. Were. Not. De-program yourself, and start enjoying life. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  14. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug26Post.mp4 One of the most powerful words is "because." A study demonstrated this. A woman was waiting in line at a copy machine. She asked if she could cut in line, and most people said no. Then she asked if she could cut in line BECAUSE her car was parked in a towing zone. Most people said yes. Then the researchers had her ask again, only this time, the reason made no sense. She asked if she could cut in line BECAUSE she had copies to make. And most people said yes. Researchers have also done plenty of studies on young children. As young as six months. They suspect we have a kind of "cause-effect generator" in our brains. Evolutionary psychologists believe this helped us to think much more quickly. As you likely know, our brains a very fast, but not very accurate. Turns out this wasn't such a big deal back in the old days. When we had to chase food, and predators were chasing us. But in modern times, it's much, much more complicated. We make a lot of causal connections when we are very young. Much too young to understand what's going on. Unfortunately, unless those early causal connections are "undone" by later life, they will shape how we see the world. A common example is a little kid touches a hot stove. And develops a phobia of the stove. But under normal situations, that kid will grow up around that stove. And associate that stove with food, eating, meals, meal preparation. All GOOD associations. Those good associations will naturally and organically overwrite the bad associations. For people who feel socially confident and outgoing, a similar process happened. Most kids learn a few times that expressing any desire is dangerous. Kids run around, happy and playful, and the adults yell at them. The learned association is, "expressing desire = bad." For lucky kids, they later detach that with opposite experiences. "Expressing desire = good" But for others, that doesn't happen. This is the source of social anxiety. It doesn't mean they're broken, or deficient. It only means some old programs are still operating. Luckily, it's pretty easy to overwrite them. And once they are overwritten, you can be your natural, outgoing and expressive self. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  15. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug24Post.mp4 Externalizing is a very common human trait. It's when WE have a problem. But we don't want to admit it. So we imagine the problems is OUT THERE. It works metaphorically like a semi-permeable membrane. The kind around our cells that only lets good stuff in. And keeps out the bad stuff. Every aspect of our mind-body system was put there for a reason. Unfortunately, a lot of it is outdated. Like government computer systems. The problem is when use our natural defense systems too much. Externalizing is a powerful and necessary way to protect our ego. Way back in the day, when life was very dangerous and difficult, having a weak ego was DEADLY. It was always go-time. But today, life is MUCH more complicated. Back in the day, it was us, our buddies and our environment. Back in the day, our environment was the natural world. Trees, rocks, unexpected thunderstorms, animals, both predator and prey. Simple. Kill or be killed. Today, it's not so simple. In fact, it's WAY complicated. In the old days you either KILLED something in the environment, literally. Or that thing KILLED you. Literally. Today our environment is OTHER PEOPLE. Nobody is going to kill us. And we aren't going to kill anybody. Unfortunately, many of our programs haven't quite caught up. So our instincts need re-calibrating. So does our natural learner. Our natural learn KNOWS that takes plenty of practice to get something down. Music, sports, etc. But our natural learner doesn't quite see this with social situations. Our natural learner sees social situations as a kill or be killed type of thing. Which is why EVERYBODY is intimidated in social situations. Some a little. Some a lot. But unless you can turn down the natural anxiety to workable levels, you'll stay on the sidelines. And keep telling yourself the problem is OUT THERE. So long as you believe the problem is OUT THERE, you'll never feel comfortable. But once you accept that at least part of the problem is INSIDE, then you can fix it. Re-calibrate it. Get in the game and start learning some skills. But, won't that be terrifying? Nope. Re-calibrating your social instincts is actually pretty BORING. Like studying history, when you'd rather be playing video games. But if you do a few minutes a day, you'll eventually reach a tipping point. When getting in the game is FUN. Like it should be. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  16. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug23Post.mp4 There are some very enlightening surprises you'll find once you start to get over any social anxiety. The first realization is that ALL people have a certain amount of social anxiety. Everybody is different around new people, compared to close friends. Everybody is a little bit more withdrawn around new people. It's common to put people into binary categories. Introverted, extroverted. Shy, outgoing. But in reality, these are very flexible sliding scales. Nearly ALL people are MORE withdrawn and MORE nervous around people they don't know. The more they value the unknown person, the more withdrawn they are. It's EXTREMELY rare to be SO self confident, SO relaxed and comfortable with who you are to NEVER worry about anybody's opinion. In fact, people who CLAIM they don't worry about other people's opinions are being very self deceptive. That would be like claiming you NEVER get hungry or sleepy or horny. Humans are EXTREMELY social animals. It is a very important and very powerful INSTINCT to be concerned about others. If somebody really didn't care about what other people thought, they wouldn't spend ANY money on fashion or clothing. They would go to parties wearing the SAME stuff they wore around the house. Old sweats, slippers, tattered T-shirts, etc. But they don't. The first step is to stop thinking in terms of HAVING something called "social anxiety." As if only YOU have it, and nobody else has it. It's not like a cold, that you can catch and then get rid of. It's part of every normal human's makeup. It's a matter of decreasing it to MANAGEABLE levels. If you can't do things you WANT to do, then it's NOT at a manageable level. If you do things you want to, but you're a little bit more careful, that IS at a manageable level. Once you start thinking of it like a muscle, that can be weak or strong, you're halfway there. This will also help you get rid of any "magical thinking." Anything that sounds like you get any benefit with "one weird trick" is magical thinking. But if you think of it like muscle, you can exercise it like a muscle. There is NO rush. Because you have your entire life ahead of you. How do you exercise social confidence? Slowly. Carefully. Consistently. Inside your own brain, your own home, and your own comfort zone. Five minutes a day is all you need. Do a little bit every day, and pretty soon social anxiety will not keep you from doing what you want. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  17. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug22Post.mp4 A long, long time ago, human brains started to get really big. Eventually, a decision had to be made. Because our brains were getting so big, there was a problem with birth. There were essentially two choices. The first choice was that our hips could keep getting wider and wider, so our brains to keep getting bigger and bigger. That wasn't such a good option, because that would force us back to walking on four legs. So the next option was to have us born WAY before we were finished. This is why humans are helpless for the first couple of years. Compare this too all other mammals, who are mobile. Soon after they are born, every other mammal can get up and walk around. We humans, on the other hand, just lay there and stare off into space. For two whole years! Even after we can get up and walk around, our brains are still being built. In one study, they showed a bunch of kids a puppet show. A kid in the puppet show had some chocolate, and put it in a GREEN cupboard. Then later his mom took some of the chocolate out. She made a cake, and then she put it back into the BLUE cupboard. Then the original kid came back. And said he wanted some chocolate. The question to the kids WATCHING the puppet show was WHERE would he look? Not where the chocolate was, but where he THOUGHT it was. The older kids figured it out. But the kids four and younger couldn't. These means even four year old kids, who can walk around and use language pretty well, STILL don't understand about human intentions. They can't extrapolate what happened before and use that to guess what people are thinking. This is why plenty of our limiting beliefs are so, uh, LIMITING. They were programmed in BEFORE our brains were finished. Before we understood how OUR intentions are different from OTHER people's intentions. Before we could understand how to GUESS other people's intentions. For some lucky folks, with positive and supportive role models, they don't much of a problem. But for everybody else, we still are stuck with a lot of these limiting beliefs. Perhaps the most DANGEROUS and INSIDIOUS limiting beliefs is the one that creates social anxiety. The one that makes us feel anxious and nervous every time we even THINK about expressing ourselves. The more intelligent you are, the WORSE this feels. Since this was programmed on an emotional, NON-intelligent level. Luckily, there is a solution. A slow, safe gradual we to REMOVE social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  18. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug21Post.mp4 All humans have "problems" with any ideas of causality. This commonly comes out when somebody says: "Correlation does not mean causation." A common example is that in summer, people buy more ice cream. And in summer more people go swimming. Since more people are going swimming, there are more shark attacks. So you COULD see a correlation between ice cream and shark attacks. By assuming CAUASATION, when there is really correlation, you would say that eating ice cream CAUSES shark attacks. This idea is also where a lot of superstitions pop up. For example, let's say you happen to be wearing your pair of purple underwear. And you happen to see an attractive person who smiles at you. It's easy to make a connection between the purple underwear and the smile. From then on, you'll believe your purple underwear is now your LUCKY underwear. This seems kind of silly. But academic researchers who NEED grant money know that finding ANY kind of CORRELATION is pure gold. They don't actually say X causes Y. But they don't need to. They just need to say X is LINKED to Y and they KNOW most people, including media goofs, will ASSUME that "linked" is a "cause-effect" word. If you want to persuade people, cause-effect is a very powerful way. Why are we so likely to assume cause-effect where none exists? Scientists believe it was a benefit. Our brains are fast but inaccurate. Maybe there was an ancient race of people who stood around trying to logically prove everything. But they all got eaten by tigers. The ones who survived were the ones who RAN AWAY first, and figured out why later. They've even done experiments on six month old babies. And they find these babies ASSUME plenty of cause-effect links where none really exist. This is interesting, but it's also VERY DANGEROUS. Turns out this cause-effect "instinct" is the main CAUSE of social anxiety. How so? From the ages of zero to two, most adults were encouraging us to stand up and talk. But then from the ages of two on, they did the opposite. They told us to sit down and shut up. This created a very DANGEROUS cause-effect "brain equation." One like this: Expressing Desire = Danger Unfortunately, this happened BEFORE we learned much about language and reality. Our brains aren't really finished cooking until we're AT LEAST seven. This means between the ages of TWO and SEVEN we are getting some VERY NEGATIVE messages. Messages that say expressing ourselves is dangerous. That calling attention to ourselves is dangerous. Luckily, we can DETACH that brain equation. And GET RID of social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  19. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July22Post.mp4 Humans are very attached to the idea of free will. A common metaphor that describes the relationship between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind is of a captain and a ship. The unconscious mind is the powerful ship. The conscious mind is the captain who steers the ship. The problem with many beliefs is they are very much like food. We don't eat food because it is healthy. We eat food because it tastes good. To the extent you DO eat food because it's healthy, it's not automatic. And it's not easy. Beliefs are the same. We don't believe things because they are true. We believe things that make us feel good. Truth can be a very dangerous thing. Ignorance, on the other hand, is bliss. Take the captain and the ship metaphor. We love the idea that "we" up in our brain has free will. That "we" can steer our ship wherever we want. But think of the things we'd do if that were true. Using our free will to CHOOSE to study would be easy. So easy we'd spend all our time studying and learning and getting smarter and smarter. We'd our free will to exercise instead of sleep in. Which means we'd all have super fit bodies. We'd use our free will to DECIDE to walk across the room and talk to interesting people. So we'd be healthy, smart, and have plenty of healthy, happy relationships with smart, healthy people. But we don't. So the idea of free will CAN'T be true. But even in the face of EVIDENCE it's hard to accept that. So we deceive ourselves. We tell ourselves we don't WANT all those things. But if there was a magic pill, that had zero side effects, was permanent, and gave us ALL those things (intelligence, health, massive confidence) and it only cost a dollar, EVERYBODY would take it. So we DO want those things, it's just that we aren't willing to pay the costs. It's much easier to follow our INSTINCTS. Instincts that make us want to play it safe, sleep late, and only eat food that tastes good and believe things that make us feel good. This, actually, is FANTASTIC news. Because when you want to PERSUADE somebody, all you need to do is leverage these INSTINCTS. Most people try and leverage the CONSCIOUS reasons we tell ourselves WHY we do the things we do. But as an advanced persuader, you know better. Once you learn about the basic human instincts that drive ALL human behaviors, persuading people is EASY. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
  20. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July7Post.mp4 Way back when I was in high school, my buddies and I love to watch Mad Max. My buddies were all car freaks, more so than I was. They loved the idea of having a big V8 with a secret nitrous oxide injection to give it an extra boost. Their favorite part was when Max was chasing the bad guys, then he'd calmly flip on the switch to give his car a boost. Then he'd suddenly accelerate, overtake the bad guys and cause them all to crash. One of the Star Trek movies was a crossover. Where they had the original cast in with the Next Generation cast. One engineer from the original cast was talking to an engineer from the Next Generation cast. He was asking him how fast the engines would go. The guy told him, and then he asked again. "Yeah, but how fast do they REALLY go?" The Next Generation engineer didn't understand the question. The original engineer shook his head, and said: "Never tell the captain how fast the engines will REALLY go." The idea of having a hidden resource of energy is very compelling. A secret ace up your sleeve. There's even a theory from physiology that we all have secret hidden reservoirs of energy in case of emergencies. To lift up cars, or make it an extra mile when we're about to die. But because we are usually VERY safe and not anywhere NEAR life threatening danger, we'll never really know. This is ONE reason why people love extreme sports. It gets them out on the edge of safety. When they get mad adrenalin rushes. The opposite is also common. Unfortunately, very common. Of thinking you don't have ANY skills or energy beyond what you are doing RIGHT NOW. If you believe you really DO have some secret power source, or an ace up your sleeve, it will give you a TON of confidence. So much you'll never have to need that secret stash. But if you are secretly terrified you have NOTHING, that will have the opposite effect. Knowing you have a secret stash will naturally EXPAND your comfort zone outward. Being terrified you have nothing will make it shrink. Luckily, the size of your comfort zone is completely up to you. It's based on plenty of assumptions you make about yourself, and about the world. Most of those assumptions are wrong. Which means if you can RE-CALIBRATE your assumptions, your comfort will expand significantly. Making everything you want OUT THERE much easier. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  21. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun28Post.mp4 A very common movie scene is the halftime locker room speech. Where the hero's team is behind at halftime. The coach gives them a rousing speech that fires them up. They come out, destroy the other team, and everybody lives happily ever after. It's also common for guys who are going out to pick up girls to a have some kind of "pre-game" warm up. Some times this involves hitting a bar before to knock back a few and practice some conversations. So when they get to the place where the girls are, they built up their courage. It's also very common for movie heroes to give themselves mirror pep talks before critical events. All these situations presuppose that the extra boost of energy is helpful. Kind of like in the original Mad Max, when he fired up the nitrous oxide to give his "Interceptor" and extra boost of power to overtake the bad guys. But what would happen if you didn't need that extra boost? What would happen if you ALWAYS had the energy you needed? We like underdog movies, and stories about underdog hero's because WE feel like WE are underdogs. We wish somebody would give US a pep talk. We wish WE could pull off a stunning, come from behind victory. In a sense, that is the main PURPOSE of those movies. To BE that "pep talk" for us. To give us a little bit of extra inspiration to hang onto when WE go into whatever situations WE feel we would like that extra bit of juice. These types of stories have been told since the dawn of time. Even way back in the caveman days, sometimes those dudes needed some extra motivation. It wasn't always easy for them. It isn't always easy for us. We can imagine two levels of energy. Our constant, base level energy. And the temporary higher level that we CAN achieve when we REALLY need to. When it's down to you and somebody else for the job. When it's time to ask the girl for her number. When it's time to lay down the law to an office bully. All humans have a two sided story instinct. To listen and remember those motivational parts. The parts we need to get us over the humps. AND to be the story teller to inspire others. Most of the time, we need to be inspired. But sometimes we NEED to step up and inspire others. You can build skills for both. The more you practice, the stronger you'll be. On both sides of that ancient and necessary instinct. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/public-speaking-confidence/
  22. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun27Post.mp4 There's a pretty common scene in movies. One guy has got to do something painful to another guy. Like set a broken arm, or put a dislocated shoulder back. The common way is for the guy or gal doing the painful thing to count. "OK, on three..." And then they invariably do the thing halfway between 2 and 3. The idea being to get the guy off guard, so it happens more quickly and less painfully. But this is so common in the movies, the some shows are starting to have the guy getting the bone fixed to KNOW that they're going to do it halfway between 2 and 3. Now, from a pure writing standpoint, they do this so the viewer won't think, "Oh I've seen this before." To have the other guy (the guy getting his bone fixed) know the same thing the viewer is expecting, that the dude's gonna pop his bone back on 2 1/2 instead of on 3. It's kind of cool from a meta, viewers standpoint. But it also presupposes that the guy getting his arm fixed has ALSO watched a bunch of those same shows. Otherwise, how would he know it was coming a 2 and 1/2? All centered around the idea that getting a bone fixed SUCKS. Or getting your shoulder popped back in. I can attest that getting a bone set really DOES suck. Even when they inject you with a bunch of stuff that's supposed to make it NOT suck. It STILL sucks. Which is why even in real life they do it quickly. This is how most of us think about personal development. We imagine whatever it takes to get to where we are is going to SUCK. So we want to get it over as quickly as possible. This is why we LOVE the idea of hypnosis. The idea that somebody can put you to SLEEP and do the work FOR YOU is massively compelling. But as an effective strategy, it's right up there with losing weight while you sleep. Sure, if you have to give ONE speech, it's not a bad idea to just suck it up and get it over with. But the idea of learning skills is completely different. Unfortunately, the ENTIRE self help industry is built around FALSE ideas of "quick fixes." That you need to pay a bunch of money and go to a seminar where you have a BREAKTHROUGH experience. But the truth is actually much, much simpler. AND easier. AND, believe it or not, cheaper. Changing your body through exercise diet takes time. And if you ever STOP, it's easy to backslide. But when anything related to social skills, once you get past a certain point it is self sustaining. This is why going as slow as possible is much better. No seminars, no gurus, no goofy metaphysics. Only a pen some paper, your brain and a few minutes per day. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/public-speaking-confidence/
  23. http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun26Post.mp4 Human instincts are extremely powerful for a reason. So powerful that they are impossible to ignore. This was so we didn't have to "think" about what to do every day. The trouble is this is hard to "see" in a real way today. Most people will never have a situation where they are hungry for more than a day, and NOT know where they are going to find food. This is why they say that EVERY SOCIETY is always three meals away from a revolution. If EVERYBODY realizes that there is no more food, it won't be long before everybody goes CRAZY. When otherwise normal people are in situations where they think they might actually DIE, they do crazy things to stay alive. Eating bugs, for example is very common. Most normal people, in normal situations would ONLY eat bugs if there was a lot of money on the line. Like on a TV reality game show, for example. But how much would you need to be paid to cut off your own arm? Or eat a dead guy? No amount of money would make anybody do these things. Yet these are things people HAVE done when the believe they will DIE if they don't. This is how strong our instincts are. They are there to keep us safe, and drive us to do INCREDIBLE things when we believe we are in danger. That's ONE of the problems of modern society. We are never in any kind of REAL danger. Which is good, really good. But it's also safe, really safe. This is one reason why soldiers coming back from combat have issues. The way humans are designed is to operate MOST OF THE TIME in life or death situations. After experiencing that, soldiers can have a hard time getting back to normal life. In fact, the ONLY REASON we invented modern society was to stay safe. To stay as far away from those dangerous situations as possible. For most people, are BIGGEST fears are NOT REAL. For our ancestors, our biggest fears were LITERALLY deadly. Today, most of our fears are social based. Things that will ONLY cause emotional pain. Thing is this emotional pain is RELATED to real, physical pain. Being socially ostracized, way back in the day, was a step closer to death. Getting mauled by a saber-toothed tiger WAS death. So in a way, social fears ARE as REAL as things that CAN kill you. Luckily, there's way to kind of con your way around the fear. To slowly build up an emotional resistance. So social fears are no longer real. And so that they no longer bother you. This means you CAN become socially fearless. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/public-speaking-confidence/
  24. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun20Post.mp4 I've a had a pretty interesting experience a few times. And that is to spend quite a lot of time traveling. 20-30 hours. And when you're traveling, you're thinking about how tired you are. How crappy the seats are. How annoying all the people are. And how happy you'll be when you can collapse onto your hotel bed. But then you show up in the city. A city you've never been to before. And suddenly you've got tons of energy. So you go out exploring. Maybe only to get a bite to eat, something to drink. Next thing you know, it's way later than you'd thought. Certain situations tend to do that to us humans. They wake up some hidden source of energy. Sometimes it's easy to see where this is coming from. Other times it's hard to pinpoint the source. All the pieces just kind of fit together, and part of you decides it's game time. Your body is flooded with energy and excitement. It's a very "outward" energy. A very "outgoing" energy. When you are driven to get involved as much as you can with your environment. Other times, it's the absolute opposite. This is more common. The familiar, "fight or flight" response. This is when your mind-body system recognizes extreme danger. The first kind of energy requires a HUGE feeling safety. But not only safety. But safety combined with new things, combined with a HUGE potential for new and exciting experiences. The second one is the exact opposite. The funny thing is if you randomly pick a whole bunch of people, they won't all have the same responses to the same experiences. Some will have a fight or flight response in the SAME situation as the "Wow! Let's party!" response that others have. What's the difference? It CAN'T be based on the environment. Otherwise everybody would respond in the same way to the same environment. It's got to do with how we INTERPRET our environment. Two people can be in the same situation at the same time. One person wants to flee. The other person is having the "lets party" response. The good news is that you can slowly RE-CALIBRATE where and when you WANT to have the "lets party" response. It's not quite as easy as flipping a switch. It's kind of like opening up a machine, and carefully rewiring it. It takes a little bit of time and patience. Mostly patience, since the process is pretty boring. But when you're finished rewiring your brain, you'll have MUCH MORE CONTROL of your seemingly AUTOMATIC responses to those situations. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/public-speaking-confidence/
  • Create New...