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Found 35 results

  1. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct02Post.mp4 Imagine there was some kind of nuclear apocalypse. Or cannibal apocalypse if you like. Society ended, and most people died. Now imagine it's 1000 or so years later, and a new society has emerged. They've discovered a bunch of stuff from the old society. A few musical instruments, and some CD's of people playing these instruments. Since the CD's are really rare, only super rich people can listen to them. But there is an idea of something called "music" floating around. This really weird way of making sounds. Suppose some people had seminars on music. There were still plenty of instruments, but nobody knew how to play them. So the seminar teacher would talk ABOUT music. But they would never play. They talked about music in mythical terms. Metaphysical terms. These teachers were so charismatic they convinced everybody that they were actually learning HOW to play music. Instead of only learning about music. These people would go to parties and use music vocabulary. But they would never play music. Not even whistle or snap their fingers. It wouldn't be a stretch, in this particular society to imagine that "music" didn't really exist. It was just a bunch of snake oil dreamt up by seminar teachers as a way to get rich. They might even confront these alleged "musicians" at parties. "If music exists, whistle me a song," they would demand. "It doesn't really work like that," the musicians would respond. "How does it work?" the skeptics would fire back. "If you have to ask, then you don't really know. I can't really explain it to you," the musicians would fire back. Silly story? Not really. This is pretty much how things like NLP and hypnosis, and to an extent, any social based skills are taught and learned. Communication, money making, etc. These seminar gurus talk ABOUT the skill. They talk about what will happen once you HAVE the skill. But they never really explain how to GET the skill. These types of seminars FEEL LIKE you are learning something important. It sure feels like it. There's a charismatic guy up on stage talking. There's a bunch of people in seats listening. But here's the thing. The thing most people don't like to hear. EVERYTHING is a skill. Which means if takes practice. Not a little. Not enough until it's permanent. Imagine walking into a gym and asking a personal trainer: "Hey, how long until this exercise becomes permanent?" He'd look at you funny. Communication skills, money making skills, seduction and persuasion skills, are SKILLS. The more you practice, the better you get. Luckily, since few people realize this, with only a little bit of daily practice, you can slowly build a HUGE advantage. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/seven-rules/
  2. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept01Post.mp4 Humans are kind of like chainsaws. Chainsaws only operate at very high RPM's. At low RPM's, they kind of rumble and sputter. But rev 'em up, and their purr like a kitten. A kitten that can chew through trees like crazy. Humans are KIND OF like that. Meaning we were designed to operate BEST under certain conditions. What conditions? A lot of external pressures. External motivating forces. These operate how we feel SUBCONSCIOSLY. Not rationally. For example, imagine you had a fantastic job. Great pay, great working conditions, great workers, great potential for advancement. But if you showed up ONE MINUTE late you'd get a black mark. Three black marks and you'd be fired. You can even imagine that showing up on time is not based on any human's decisions. Imagine it was based on some uncontrollable, external event. And let's say the drive from your house to work was twenty minutes. Would you ever be late? Probably not. Because NOT being late would be easy. Getting up, showering, getting dressed, etc. The benefits of simply rolling out of bed on time would be ENORMOUS. Most humans, under these situations, would manage to organize their lives around getting up on time for work. But give that SAME HUMAN a bunch of money, so they don't need to work, and it will be much, much more difficult to get up on time. All our instincts were calibrated like this. Strong internal drives. Strong external pressures. Today, if you get a job that's pure commission, most people would hate it. If you don't sell anything, you don't get paid. But for the bulk of human history, this was the rule. If you don't work, you don't eat. If you don't KILL you don't eat. It's hard to imagine this without the external incentives. This is one reason we LOVE hero's journey type movies. Because even hero's like Luke Skywalker need to be FORCED onto the path. Most don't go willingly. WE don't go willingly. So we LOVE the idea of our circumstances FORCING us to take action. In fact, this is the most common reason for NOT talking ANY action. "If it was really important, I'd get it done." This means we'll never take action unless we are FORCED. But by then, it might be too late. You aren't getting any younger! You don't have to take HUGE action. Just small, tiny daily action. To build up your ACTION TAKING muscle. Pretty soon, you'll be a new human. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  3. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug27Post.mp4 In banking, they have something called "duration mismatch." When people make deposits, they can take them out at any time. These are called "demand deposits." But when banks lend out money, then lend the money for longer, fixed periods. Which means that on one side, they have, say $1,000,000 in deposits. These are deposits that could, theoretically, be withdrawn at any time. But that same money is lent out, but in fixed terms. Car loans, house loans, etc. These are for much longer periods. Theoretically, if EVERYBODY came to take out their money at once, their would be a big problem. According to the rules, the depositors could take out their money at any time. But the people who borrowed that same money have 5-30 years to pay it back. The duration of the depositors is day to day. The duration of the borrowers is long term. Hence the term, "duration mismatch." Humans have a lot of problems that are based on an idea of "mismatch." For example, if you were to practice an instrument, you would know, without even needing to think, that it would take a while. On the other hand the self-help industry is FILLED with ideas of "instant" this and "instant" that. But consider that EVERTYHING is best seen as a skill. And all skills take time. And most skills have ZERO upper limit. Meaning the more you practice, the better you get. People are drawn to "one weird trick" ideas in things like health, social skills, and money. One because we all WANT those things. We all WANT improvements in those areas. And we want them sooner, rather than later. But more importantly, the idea of the PROCESS of going where we are NOW to where we WANT to be is assumed to be PAINFUL. Getting into better shape is painful. Practicing social skills is painful. Practicing money skills is painful. But that's only because the alternative to the "one weird trick" idea, (which we all kind of know is a con anyway) is the "suck it up and do it" idea. Like ripping off a band aid. Or setting a compound fracture. But this is an unhelpful way of looking at things. A much more resourceful way is to think in terms of SLOW growth. Very, very slow. So slow it seems normal. So slow it's VERY easy. So slow it's NOT painful. And since these are skills with NO upper limit, even if you go REALLY slow, you'll still make daily progress. For the rest of your life. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  4. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug25Post.mp4 For some things, practicing is easy. Very, very boring, but easy. Playing the guitar for example. Many people would LIKE to be able to play. But few people do. The reason is pretty simple. We humans won't do anything unless we believe the benefits will be greater than the costs. You might imagine being to hang out somewhere, strum a few chords and get plenty of positive attention. That imagination would be the benefits. And so long as the costs were vague, it would be a fairly strong desire. But when you actually practice, it's boring and frustrating. Pretty soon you start to get a much more accurate picture of the costs. Eventually, the costs will seem GREATER than the benefits. And you stop. This is normal, and VERY rational. Nobody would ever do something where the benefits are NOT clearly greater than the costs. It's got nothing to do with willpower. In fact, willpower is a non-existing metaphor. It's always and only a matter of costs and benefits. If you believe the costs will be greater than the benefits, no amount of willpower will be enough. If you believe the benefits are greater than the costs, then no amount of willpower is necessary. There ARE, however a couple of ways to make the costs LESS and the benefits more. One is to spend more time VISUALIZING the benefits. Spending time journaling all the ways the benefits can manifest. Sticking to the guitar example, if you spent fifteen minutes per day actually practicing, and fifteen minutes per day journaling all the different benefits, this would be much EASIER to sustain. So long as the costs, as you experience them NOW are smaller than the benefits, as you experience them NOW, any skill building will be easy. Especially of the skills come with plenty of built in, INSTINCTIVE benefits. Playing the guitar is close, but there are a lot of variables. A much better and more valuable skill is general social confidence. This comes with TONS of built in benefits. Friendship, romance, business, pretty much anything. Since ANYTHING you want in life will generally involve other people. So building up your people skills, and your people confidence will lead to TONS of benefits. But the same rules apply. Costs and benefits. So long as you keep the costs low, and the benefits high, it will be easy. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  5. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July5Loop.mp4 The idea of free will kind of squishy. On one hand, it's pretty much the cornerstone of western society. In both religion and law. According to Christian tradition, the ONE THING we have, that nobody, not even the devil, can take away is our free will. Our decision to choose. Similarly, if you did something wrong, and you have to face a judge and jury, it's VERY HARD to convince them that somebody else MADE you do it. Even wives that kill husbands after years of abuse have a hard time getting off, UNLESS they kill the dude WHILE he's trying to kill her. All this presupposes that every single ACT we take is based on our ability to DECIDE to do it or to DECIDE to not do it. On the other hand, you could easily argue there is NO SUCH THING as free will. For example, one long study in the UK found that only 2% of adults who lost a significant amount of weight could keep it off for more than a year. If there was any argument AGAINST free will, it would be the growing obesity rates. Few people who are skinny make a rational decision to BECOME obese. And most people who ARE obese are DESPERATE to NOT be obese. If our FREE WILL is so ultra powerful, why can't we just DECIDE to only eat a couple thousand calories a day? Why can't we just DECIDE to get up an hour early and go jogging for an hour before work? Why can't we just DECIDE to study instead of watching TV, so we get a better degree and make more money? There MUST be something else going on. There must be something BESIDES just making a decision and getting an automatic outcome. Some things are EASY. If you decided to read a comic book, that would be EASY. If you decided to read a calculus book, that would be DIFFICULT. What's the difference? Perhaps the thing in between our will and our action is our skill level. Perhaps EVERYTHING we want to do is based on skills. Think of it this way. Every thing we WANT to do, that is EASY is based on a skill that has been TRAINED to the level of unconscious competence. If you have spent years practicing the piano, the DECISION to play a song would have an easy outcome. Without practice, the same decision to play the same song would be difficult and frustrating. The more you practice ANYTHING, the easier it will be. The more skills you have, the more you can do. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  6. Most people have heard about the four levels of learning. Unconscious incompetence, when you don't know you suck. Conscious incompetence, when you know that you suck. Conscious competence, when you don't suck, but you've got to use all your brain power to not suck. Then unconscious competence, where you can do it fairly well without needing to think. Many things that we learn come through these four categories. Tying your shoes, writing, driving, riding a bicycle, making a burrito. But there are some skills we come pre-programmed with. Like communication is a skill that we become unconsciously competent at without ever needing to think. We learn to speak before we are fully conscious. But if you were to learn another language, you'd have to go through the four stages. But you can also take something that already exists at the level of unconscious competence, and bring it back up to the level of conscious competence, and make it better. This is essentially what actors do. They take their natural, unconscious speaking patterns and consciously practice them. You can also do this with things like persuasion and seduction. Take your natural communication strategies, bring them up to the level of conscious competence, practice them until they are much more effective. Then drop them back down to the level of unconscious competence. This is the natural process when you take any skill, and improve it through practice. For most skills, there is no upper limit to the level of unconsciously competence. The more you practice, the better you get. Beliefs are similar, but a bit different. Beliefs are exactly skills. But they affect many other skills. Beliefs are like language, in that we learned them much before we were fully conscious humans. But very much like learning to speak better, you can learn to "believe better." How do you do this? More or less the same way. Do some work to find and examine your old beliefs. Rebuild them until they are better and more appropriate. Then practice believing them, until they drop back down to the level of unconscious competence. The thing about beliefs is they affect MANY different skills. So if you target the right beliefs, they will create a kind of domino effect on your skills. Find them, rebuild them, practice them, and drop them back down. Once this happens, a LOT of things will become much easier and much more effective. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  7. One of Cialdini's important laws is called "Commitment and Consistency." It's kind of complex how it works, especially from a persuasion standpoint. It's the idea behind sales funnels. You buy a product for $3. Then you buy another product for $19 from the same place. Then you buy another one for $49. Sales funnels use this PLUS scarcity. Each additional sales is a "one time offer." So they are combining TWO of Cialdini's laws. The law of Commitment and Consistency (you already bought one, so one more is consistent) and Scarcity (one time offer).. If you study Cialdini, you'll find the seven laws being used in nearly all advertising. Usually in clever combinations. The Holy Grail of advertising is to create FOMO. Fear of missing out. This usually involves at least THREE Cialdini laws. Most of the time FOMO happens organically and spontaneously. If it does, it's a marketers dream come true. You get a bunch of goofs on TV talking about some product. This gives you authority. Then all your friends are talking about that product. This gives you social proof. Then you realize that these products are hard to get. This gives you scarcity. All these add up to FOMO. Meaning if you WAIT, the products will be GONE. And all your friends will have one, except for you. This is the same psychology behind market bubbles. Everybody is buying, and the price keeps going up. Higher and higher prices mean that LOWER prices are getting scarcer and scarcer. Warren Buffet famously said that when your idiot next door neighbor is getting rich, you can be sure you're in a market bubble. Many of Cialdini laws play out in VERY interesting and complicated ways. One of them is that the older we get, the more set in our ways we become. This is Commitment and Consistency in action. Doing NEW things requires a lot of brain power. We don't like using brain power if we don't have to. But some things we keep even if they don't quite "work." This is how our limiting beliefs are formed. We took on a belief when we were very young. It was formed from a protective, defensive standpoint. But as adults, they no longer support us. They do the opposite. They KEEP US from doing what we want. But unless we find them, DISPROVE them, and then rewrite them, they'll keep working. The process not that different, structurally, from rebuilding an engine. It's a pain to take it apart and put it back together. But once it's back together, it's faster, stronger and much more powerful. Do this with any belief you want. So you can do any behavior you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  8. Our language, and our world, is more filled with metaphors than we realize. Problems happen when we mistake metaphor for reality. So long as we are using metaphors to talk ABOUT something, they're fine. But if we are trying to use metaphors as guiding principles, that's when we run into trouble. The red car idea is a common way to describe our filters. How we separate the important stuff from all the noise. For example, somebody doesn't notice all the red cars. Then they buy a red car. Then they suddenly notice all the red cars. Before, they didn't think red cars were important, so their subconscious filtered them out. Once they bought one, red cars became important. Their subconscious filters were re-calibrated. But it would be a mistake to think that their subconscious CREATED the red cars. This is why sometimes when we visualize on things we want, we can see evidence. But sometimes we can't. The difference is NOT the strength of our visualizations. The difference is some things are ALREADY THERE around us. Only when we start to visualize them, see SEE them. We SEE what is already there. To imagine you can use your brain to make things MAGICALLY appear is a mistake. This is an example of MIS-UNDERSTANDING the metaphor. Because this metaphor can also be used to "describe" the law of attraction. But the word, "attraction," is not TECHNICALLY correct. Because you are not ATTRACTING anything. Your mind cannot LITERALLY pull objects from space. Another problem happens when metaphors are about processes. Specifically learning processes. For example, you see a cute girl across the room. Somebody says, "Just go up to her and be yourself." What, EXACTLY, does that mean, "be yourself"? How can you ever NOT be yourself? Is it even an option to NOT be yourself? Like transform into Iron Man or something? When one human wants to communicate a PROCESS to another person, it MUST be done metaphorically. Then it's up to the receiver, to take that metaphor and apply their OWN trial and error learning to MAKE SENSE of that metaphor. So you might hear the advice to "be yourself." Then you try a different versions of "being yourself." Until you figure out what the means, from your own SUBJECTIVE viewpoint. Then when you achieve success by "being yourself," you can now give that same advice to somebody else. This is how ALL learning must happen. First with a metaphorical description. Then when trial and error experience to DEFINE that metaphorical description for yourself. But there is one HUGE barrier to this simple process. And that is the collection of limiting beliefs we all carry around with us. But once you GET RID OF these negative beliefs, learning ANYTHING will be simple. Metaphor. Practice. Skill. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  9. https://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  10. When I was a kid I used to play golf. My friends and I would play at this nine hole course next to our junior high school. I had some hand-me-down clubs, and it was only $5 to play. One hole gave me problems. We had to hit over the water. Seeing the water always messed me up. Then another kid gave me some fantastic advice. Advice that I keep playing in my mind whenever I need it. And that was to pretend the water was green grass. To negatively hallucinate the obstacle. So I could see and focus on the objective beyond it. Of course, he didn't put it like this. He just told me to pretend the water was grass. But in effect, this is a very powerful strategy. Whenever you have a long term objective, but a shorter term obstacle is in the way. Even metaphorically, this can mess us up. The short term obstacle tends to grab our attention. So we lose sight of the longer term goal. That phrase, "lose sight" is VERY appropriate. Even when thinking metaphorically, we still speak in terms of SEEING things. If you are thinking about a long term objective, but the short term obstacle is messing you up. Another visual metaphor is that short term obstacle is CLOUDING your vision. You can't SEE the big picture. If you can see your objective with TUNNEL VISION, you are purposely excluding the things you don't want to see. All visual metaphors that are IDEAL for describing ideas. It turns out that purposely practicing SEEING THINGS in your mind's eye can help. For example, if it's Monday, and you've got a lot of things to accomplish. You can LITERALLY close your eyes and SEE each day. Then you can SEE what you'll be enjoying on the weekend. This is something you can practice. And just like anything else, the more you practice, the better you'll get. So if you practice looking toward the weekend with tunnel vision on EASY objectives, you'll get better and better. At first, you'll only be "strong enough" to exclude mundane obstacles you'll need to deal with. But pretty soon, if you STRENGTHEN your tunnel vision, you'll be able to VISUALIZE outcomes that are further and further out in the future. Seeing further goals out in the future requires two separate skills. One is having a LONG VIEW. Two is being able to purposely exclude the things you don't want to see. Just like pretending water is really grass. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  11. If you learn something that's helpful in one context, it's sometimes not so helpful in another context. Once my friend talked me into going snowboarding. I had done a lot of skateboarding when I was younger. I mistakenly assumed they would be similar. It took me a long time to get from the top to the bottom. Even though it LOOKED the same, it was completely different. Very rarely will you get a professional athlete that is skilled in more than one sport. Plenty of us have baggage from childhood. We "learn" certain things that are helpful in certain contexts. But they mess us up as adults. For example, most kids learn between the ages of 2-3 that is CAN be dangerous to be outgoing and expressive. So later in adulthood, we WANT to express ourselves, but we feel a deep and barely perceptible anxiety. This even works with our instincts. What helped us humans a LONG time ago is a pain today. Way, way, back in the day, it was a benefit to be hungry. It was a benefit to eat everything you could whenever you have a chance. Obviously, that strategy today isn't so helpful. Today, if you want to stay healthy, you've got to think a little bit about what and how often you eat. Many of our other instincts are the same. Helpful back then, not so much today. One of them is how and who we learn from. Way back then, and even recently, it was a good strategy to simply copy those older than you. When you were old enough, you could take over. But today, that strategy won't work so well. The skills that were helpful even ten years ago aren't so helpful today. Just like we need to think about what and how often we eat, we need to think about what we learn. One of the biggest mistakes is thinking somebody can TELL US what we need to do. This is very dangerous. Mainly because it FEELS comfortable. To be told EXACTLY what to do. Because if there really WAS a step by step plan for ANYTHING, everybody would be able to do it. And if EVERYBODY could do it, it wouldn't be worth much. The trick is to find out on your own what to do. And how to do it. This is not easy. This requires living with a little bit of uncertainty. It requires SLOWLY expanding your comfort zone. Many people cannot or will not do this. Which means if YOU can, you will have a huge advantage. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  12. Having the wrong metaphor can ruin everything. Most everything we perceive is done through metaphors. Our brains have only evolved to really make sense of macro physics. Apples falling from trees, etc. But our brains are also capable of creating and interpreting hallucinations as if they are real. This is how we come up with mythology and other incredible stories. All from looking up at the sky and imagining that the stars are people. As soon as we imagine they are people, we start making up stories about how they interact. Used "correctly" these stories can inspire us and motivate us. Used "incorrectly" we might not stay alive very long. For example, if ALL you did was beseech the gods for healthy crops, you'd die. On the other hand, if you beseeched the gods AND did the job of tilling the soil, planting the seeds, and doing the daily work of making sure everything grew correctly, you'd have a much better chance. The first case would be an OVER-DEPENDENCE on a metaphor. The second case is when you use the metaphor as MOTIVATION or INSPIRATION, but not in place of doing the actual work necessary. We have a lot of metaphors in our daily lives. One of the most dangerous one is to think in terms of perfection. Or to have an objection that is TOO HIGH compared to our level of skills. For example, if you'd been practicing the piano for a couple of weeks, it would be a huge mistake to think you were ready to perform. But this is something we do all the time. We READ something, and think that reading about something is the same as PRACTICING that same thing. For some reason, we think that reading is the same as practicing certain skills. Mostly social skills. We read a book, or have an idea about what we want conversationally. But then we go out and fall on our faces. We are frustrated, but ONLY because we had expectations that were ABOVE our level of skill. If you have your expectations in congruence with your skills, you won't be frustrated. Things like social skills are ALWAYS in progress. Every single person you talk to is going to be a completely NEW experience. An UNEXPECTED experience, since you don't know them. So having an expectation based on a completely unknown situation is illogical. It's much better to dial back your expectations. And see every communication as ENJOYABLE practice. That way you'll eliminate frustration, and keep getting better. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  13. Very often, something that feels good in the short term can add up to long term pain. It feels good to sleep in every day, and it sucks to get up at the crack of dawn. But it's easy to imagine how sleeping in EVERY DAY can slowly destroy your productivity. While on the other hand, getting up at the crack of dawn will tend to INCREASE your productivity. Similarly, food that tastes REALLY GOOD tends to add up. The better it tastes, and the quicker it tastes better, the worse it generally is for you. On the other hand, food that is healthy tends to be things you have to acquire a taste for. Or at least acquire a habit of eating. Doing physical labor, or exercise, isn't inherently pleasurable. Only by slowly associating the benefits that come with exercise make it pleasurable. But even then it's not nearly as "enjoyable" as relaxing, or getting a nice massage. This is easy to see when the pleasure is physical. Sleeping late, eating fast food, getting massages. All feel fantastic, and all will have negative impacts on health if that's ALL you do. But mentally pleasurable things are JUST as dangerous. It turns out that in terms of calories per gram, our brain is our most expensive organ. Thinking literally is hard work. Watching TV is easier than studying calculus. But just like jumping from the couch to the weight machine CAN BE dangerous, so can switching your mental skills. If you were 500 pounds overweight, and you wanted to get in shape, you would naturally ease into it. Because if you didn't, you would FEEL IT. There would be a real and present danger of doing too much too soon. I had a roommate once that tried that. Decided he was going to go down to the track and do some sprints. Unfortunately he hadn't worked out in years. After only ONE DAY of sprints, he could barely walk. Messed up BOTH knees. If you jump from the TV to the calculus book, you can do similar damage. You won't exactly break your brain, but it won't be pleasant. And unfortunately, EVERY SINGLE TIME you try something like that, you'll build an association. That doing mental work is hard and painful. On the other hand, if you go VERY SLOWLY, it's much easier. AND you have a much better chance of building the OPPOSITE associations. That doing mentally strenuous work is pleasurable. Just like exercising is for those who do it habitually. It takes while to ease your brain into this. But imagine the things you could do once you train your brain that doing mentally difficult things is enjoyable. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  14. One of the reasons economics is called the “dismal science” is because of the idea of opportunity costs. If you’ve got ten bucks in your pocket, you can buy whatever you can get for ten bucks. Whatever you decide to buy, when you hand over that ten bucks, that’s the direct cost. The opportunity costs are all the things you CAN’T buy once you make your decision. Say you’re in fast food land. And you decide to buy a gigantic carne asada burrito combo with your ten bucks. The opportunity costs are all the things you CAN’T buy once you decide on the burrito. Nachos, burgers, a fat blunt, anything. Opportunity costs are one of the main reason we don’t go after goals. Everybody wants more money, more love, more sex, more free time, quieter neighbors, more respect, etc. But we also enjoy all the stuff we enjoy. And once we start doing things to GET the things we want, we MUST stop doing some of the things we like doing. Even WORSE is the idea that we are wasting our time. Meaning we might spend year trying something that will hopefully get us more money, but what if it doesn’t work? That would be horrible! Not only can we NOT DO the things we would have done (opportunity costs) but the stuff we ARE doing aren’t getting us SQUAT! Instead, we prefer to “imagine” that one day through some kind of “magic” the stuff we want will just “happen” somehow. Without any effort on our part. In the present moment, this is an easy and comfortable thought. But since it’s a fantasy, thinking this way comes with its own opportunity costs. While you are sitting around waiting for the magic wish fairy to show up, you could be doing REAL things that will give you REAL improvement. Developing the base skills that NEED to exist beneath every other skill. The mental practice and rehearsal exercises that will make all other skills easy. The mental foundations of ALL success. What are these, exactly? You can learn all about them. Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  15. They say a directionless arrow never misses its target. Meaning if you just randomly shoot an arrow without choosing a target, you can’t miss. On the other hand, if you shoot an arrow at a target, you most definitely CAN miss. Why would you want to shoot an arrow without aiming at anything? Maybe it’s fun. Maybe you like to watch the arrow sail through the air. Maybe you like to imagine your an archer in an ancient battle. None of those guys really aimed. They just sort of picked and angle and hoped for the best. With a bunch of archers on one side of a battlefield, and a bunch of soldiers on the other, you’re bound to hit something. Unfortunately, this isn’t a very good life strategy. Imagine a guy going out to meet girls. Ideally, he’d LOVE to end up with a sex party threesome with a couple of disease-free, porn star freaks. But most normal dudes will take whatever they can get. Which usually ends up not being much. This is like just shooting your arrow in a battle and hoping for the best. Instead, consider the idea of having an actual target. The threesome might be a bit too much. At least in the short term. Believe it or not, having a long term, “horizon goal” of having tight enough game to talk ANY group of females into a sex party is a worthy goal. One that is WAY out there. One that compels you to keep improving. The best way to keep improving is to choose very tiny, very achievable goals. Week one might be getting eye contact and smiles from five ladies. Week two might be getting a few short conversations. Week three might be getting some actual phone numbers. Week four might be going on one date. Most guys DON’T like this. It seems LONG and tedious. Most guys want the sex party RIGHT THE F NOW! But here’s the great paradox of life. The bigger your target is (sex party, for example) the less forward progress you’ll make. The smaller your target, the more RAPID you’ll make forward progress. This is a harsh question, but consider it. Instead of “sex party” swap out any equally desirable goal. Beach house, corporate president, etc. How closer are you to that goal compared to one year ago? Now imagine doing the slow, week by week plan. Assuming you’d stick to it, and make slow, gradual, tortoise like progress, how far would you be in a year? This is the secret to real tangible achievements. The kind that will make your friends ultra jealous. The slower you go, the faster you’ll get there. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  16. In sports, a common saying is “leave it on the field.” Which means when you play a big game, you put in 100% effort. So when the game is over, you’ve given everything. This is a fantastic idea for sports. The problem with metaphors like this is when they are misapplied. For example, let’s say you wanted to walk across the room and talk to somebody. The “leave everything on the field” approach isn’t so appropriate. When you’re playing sports, especially an important game, winning is the ONLY thing. (Except maybe for little league...) Any team that loses the championship game and shrugs it off as a learning experience may be missing the point. Imagine your favorite team after losing the superbowl or the world series or the world cup. “Well, we didn’t win, but the important thing was we learned a lot about our capabilities and we tried some new plays which worked out pretty well.” Most people would be understandably angry. But this is an IDEAL response for anything that is NOT sports. In fact, not getting a hundred percent success rate is a very, very good thing. Paradoxically, when you DO get a hundred percent success in anything that is NOT sports, you won’t really know why. Which means you won’t learn much. Which means you won’t get much better. Which means your ONLY strategy is to “get lucky.” On the other hand, shooting for about an 60-70% success rate is perfect. Because everything that DOESN’T work is the best teacher. This hard to wrap your mind around for most people. Especially if ALL you can see is in a short term time frame. Which is why having a LONG term time frame is essential. So long as you see any interaction or event as ONE of many, on a continuous unfolding future, it’s much easier to accept feedback. The more you can accept ALL feedback, most importantly NEGATIVE feedback, the better you can improve. This is easy in the beginning of the baseball season, for example. There are always a lot of games still to be played. How, specifically, can you cultivate this mindset? By creating something called Horizon Goals. Undefined, but positive goals WAY out in the future. At a skill level much higher than you have now. So that any interaction in the present is more easily seen as PRACTICE. Once you see every interaction as partial practice for the next, continuous improvement is simple. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  17. Being able to deliberately hallucinate is a great skill. So long as you don’t start to believe in the hallucination. For example, way back when I was in JHS, me and my buddies would play golf. There was a nine hole course next to our school, and it was cheap. Only about $5 for a round. We all had hand-me-down clubs. One particular hole always gave me trouble. Because you had to hit it over the water onto the green. Because I knew the water was there, it made me nervous, and I always hit the ball into the water. Until one day my friend gave me some advice. He told me to pretend the water was really grass. When I did, I didn’t have any issues. It was a very useful hallucination. But if I actually started to believe it, it would have been a problem. Because I would have actually tried to walk across the water as if it were grass. And since the water was actually part of a condemned lagoon, with big signs that said “no swimming,” I probably would have got some messed up lagoon disease. The ability to turn on and turn off hallucinations is very powerful. These temporary hallucinations can be used to either reduce anxiety or increase motivation. So long as you can consciously manage them, they are very useful. One thing they AREN’T is “auto pilot.” Unfortunately, we humans are very attracted to any “auto pilot” idea. As if we can think of something only once, and expect a sudden and permanent change. This is why most self-help programs don’t work. People have the silly idea that simply by passively reading a book, their brains will somehow switch on their own. This is why people find the idea of hypnosis so compelling. It allows them the imagine they can relax, and some other “THING” will do the changes for them. Hypnosis IS a powerful tool. But it is a tool. And tools don’t operate on their own. You could have the best set of tools in the world. And set them next to a pile of perfectly cut lumber. But unless you actively USE the tools, that house ain’t gonna build itself. This is the great paradox of most self-help techniques. The tools ARE powerful. But if they just sit there, the are equally useless. Which means you probably have enough tools in your brain. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to use them. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  18. Once I was on this backpacking trip. We were going up over the first pass. If you’ve never been on a multi-day backpacking trip, the first day is always the hardest. You drive up as high as you can and park. Then you walk up and over a pretty high mountain range. Once you get on the other side of that first mountain range, that’s when the fun starts. You more or less walk flat (at least compared to the first day). Huge valleys, no people, meadows, streams, lakes filled with trout, wild animals, etc. It’s all very much worth the first day. And on this particular day, we were going over switchbacks. These long zig-zags that slowly go up to a high mountain pass. On this particular hike, there were a LOT of switchbacks. Going back and forth, slowly upward, for several hours. And each switchback was long. So long that when you got to the end, you couldn’t tell if you were at the top or not. It was VERY EASY to convince yourself you were at the top. You could see the trail going up, and then only blue sky. The closer you got, the more you started to convince yourself that you were almost there. But then you’d get to the end, and you’d have to turn and go up another LONG leg up the side of the mountain. Physical and mental torture all at once. Almost there, almost there, almost there, aw crap! Over and over and over. This how many things in life seem. You’ll be pursuing a goal. So much you’ve got tunnel vision. So much you start to think that once you complete this goal, you’ll be on easy street. Unfortunately, it ain’t like that. Not one bit. Paradoxically, the MORE you convince yourself that the next goal is going to be the culmination of your life, the more motivated you’ll be to get it. But once you get it, and see it’s true context, it CAN be a let down. This paradox is hard to accept. That from the vantage point of the VERY END of your life, they’ll be TONS of stepping stones into your future. But BEFORE you achieve each of those individual stepping stones, convincing yourself THAT is going to be THE ONE is the best way to get motivated. That’s just the way it is. The easiest way to shift from that “aw crap” moment is to just keep on huffing it toward your next milestone. This plays out in many areas. Your financial life, your love life, your career life, your spiritual life, your health. But the MORE of those milestones you achieve, the easier it is to maintain your momentum. And you can start, or re-start, from WHEREVER you are. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  19. One of the myths of NLP is in it’s most common name. “The Study Of Excellence.” The idea is you can find something that is “excellent.” Then you can study it. And if you study it well enough, you can recreate that excellence yourself. This is how NLP was created in the first place. By COPYING people who were ALREADY excellent communicators. But there are a couple problems with that. Imagine a regular mall. Imagine that mall over the course of about thirty years. Shops come and go. Some last longer than others. Trends change. Demographics change. The economy changes. Suppose in that one mall, that’s been there for 30 years, there are three stores that have lasted the whole time. From the standpoint of “studying excellence,” all you’d have to do would be to “study” exactly what those three stores did, and you could reproduce it. Right? Not really. Because every single year, each one of those stores had NO IDEA whether they would be successful. Put it this way. Let’s suppose you had 64 people, each with a quarter. And each person flips the coin six times. By pure probability, ONE guy would likely get six heads in a row. Now, suppose you walked up to THAT guy and tried to “reverse engineer” his coin flipping strategy. And you thought if you studied him enough, YOU could flip six heads in a row. Pretty silly, right? But this is essentially the SAME THING that happens when you have a mall around for thirty years. Every shop maybe has a fifty-fifty chance of success. So at the end of thirty years, the shops that are around are less “excellent” and more lucky. Sure, staying in business is more predictable than flipping coins, but there IS tons of unknown risk. Otherwise ALL BUSINESSES would succeed. The question, then is HOW EXACTLY can you “study excellence” when MOST SUCCESSES are based primarily on “luck” that is NO DIFFERENT than a coin toss? One way would be to figure how to TAKE MORE CHANCES where you can accept the loss. If you wanted to flip a coin and get six heads in a row, you could. You’d just to keep flipping long enough for it to happen. It might take a few days, but with persistence, the laws of probability DEMAND that it occurs. If you go long enough, it would be impossible to NOT happen. And there are things those successful shops did that INCREASED their chances of success. And there are things YOU can do everyday that will increase YOUR chances of success. Even if you don’t know what that is yet. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  20. There’s an interesting theory from classical physics. Chaos theory. It basically says that while the laws of (classical) physics are deterministic, we can’t really predict very far into the future. An example is a two body problem vs. a three body problem. Two bodies is two simple masses in space orbiting around each other. Only those two, nothing else. With only those two, and the laws of gravity, you could take a snapshot at any given time, and using only their starting position, predict what they would look like WAY into the future. But with three bodies, this is impossible. Two bodies means only TWO interdependent variables. The movement of ONE is dependent on the movement of the other. And that other is dependent on the first. But with only two, the math is not too complicated. But add in a third object, and now you’ve got THREE inter-dependent variables. Which makes it impossible to predict what they’d be like. The laws of physics still work. It’s just the math is theoretically TOO COMPLICATED to predict very far into the future. This idea was first discovered with weather predictions. They would take a weather model, on a very powerful computer. They could set the beginning conditions, and then let it play out for two weeks. (Two weeks of computer simulated time). Turns out that EXTREMELY tiny changes in the starting conditions made HUGE changes in only a couple weeks out. This is where they get the idea of the “butterfly effect.” A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, and causes a hurricane in Texas two months later. This is why they will NEVER be able to predict the weather very accurately. It’s got nothing to do with the accuracy of the equipment. And EVERYTHING to do with the theoretical and mathematical limitations. Now, a weather system has only a few interdependent variables. Wind speed, temperature, humidity, etc. But what about human nature? How many interdependent variables are there in a lifetime? In a few years? Even few weeks? If predicting the weather a couple weeks out is impossible, how the heck can we predict our lives? This is FANTASTIC news. Because no matter WHAT you are doing now, ANYTHING can potentially happen in your future. With one VERY IMPORTANT restriction. You must accept that YOUR future MUST be created by YOU. NO magic from external entities. No winning the lottery. Only YOUR BEHAVIORS. But when you combine the idea of chaos theory, with daily consistent behaviors, ANY FUTURE is possible. What daily behaviors? These: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  21. Being able to reverse engineer something is a powerful skill. Companies do this all the time. They take apart their competitors product. Rebuild it with enough changes they don’t violate any copyrights. Humans copying other humans is as old as the hills. One of the main driving forces of the Industrial Revolution was everybody was copying the crap out of everybody else. Back then, everything was pretty simple. The first big pieces of industrial equipment were looms. Pieces of equipment that could take raw cotton, and then transform them into textiles. The textiles could later then be used to make clothing and other things. All you had to do was spend a few minutes studying one of these machines, and you could go home and build your own. These looms are the main reason Japan got so rich so quickly. They didn’t need to even grow the cotton. They’d import it, turn it all into fabric, and then export it again. They’d pay a little bit for the raw cotton, and then make a ton selling it as a usable fabric. Of course today, the equipment in our modern economy is a kajillion times more complicated. You would spend all kinds of time walking around some modern production center and not have any clue what they were doing. That’s because what they are doing is based on all kinds of stuff that was done BEFORE it got to that level. With looms, you can see the raw cotton, you can see the loom, and you can see the finished good. Easy peasy. But if you wanted to reverse engineer how to build a computer, and all you saw was the chip fabrication facility, you would be more clueless than when you started. This is the way it is with human behavior. Few human behaviors are as easy to copy as a loom. Most human behaviors are like the chip fabrication facility. Even if you see the surface structure, it doesn’t help much. Imagine if you didn’t know anything about music. And you wanted to copy somebody up on stage jamming on his guitar. Just holding something that sort of looked like a guitar and wiggling your fingers around wouldn’t quite do it. You’d need to study the deeper skills. Music, both playing and writing. Showmanship. Confidence. Reading and responding to the energy of the crowd. And all kinds of business and marketing skills that would get you up on stage in front of paying customers. Luckily, when it comes to many skills, the deep skills are the same. Even for music. And if you start practicing the deep skills, everything on top will be much easier. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  22. One puzzling idea from NLP is the idea that there is “no such thing as failure, only feedback.” This is one that people tend to have the most issues with. Partly because it is the most ill-defined “truism” or “presupposition” from NLP. Because “feedback” and “failure” are both MEANINGS given to EVENTS. And since another idea INSIDE NLP is the ability to change meanings of events, this idea is problematic. It’s more of a recommendation than a rule. Kind of like looking both ways before you cross the street. If it’s quiet, and you don’t hear any cars approaching, you’re in pretty good shape. So, what’s the real difference between “feedback” and “failure?” If you are trying to defuse a bomb, and you clip the wrong wire, it’s not really feedback, since you’re blown to bits. On the other hand, your example can be used to teach future bomb-defusers what NOT to do. From your perspective, it’s hard to see it as anything BUT a failure. But from people who later study your failure, it’s clearly feedback. The trick is to turn what we INITIALLY would define as “failure” and be able to redefine it as feedback. For some things, this happens naturally. Practicing sports, for example. If you’re standing there shooting free throws, you won’t sulk and become miserable every time you miss. Especially if you FRAME the sequence of shots as PRACTICE. This is a big clue. By framing how we interpret things BEFORE we go into them, it’s much easier to recognize events as “feedback.” Why do we practice anything? To get better. This means that pretty much ANYTHING you do (except defusing bombs) can be seen within a much larger goal. This is very easy if you have HORIZON goals, and not specific goals. Most goal setting books tell you to set SPECIFIC goals. Not only specifically defined, but at a specific time. This is actually pretty dangerous. Because if you have a specific goal at a specific time, then each step on the way there is going to be much more important. You won’t get the goal unless ALL the intermediary steps are completed on time. With a horizon goal, there’s much less pressure. A specific goal, for example is to make 50% more money in a year. The closer to you get to your target, the more each intermediary goal will seem like a bomb-defusing situation. Do or die. But with a horizon goal, each step is will be EASIER to see as feedback. For example, instead of demanding you make 50% more in a year, have a much broader horizon goal. For example, your money horizon goal can be “I’ll be making a lot more money in a year than I’m making now.” So each thing you try on the way will be easier to get information. And all information, good or bad, can help you to make more money than you are now. This is a key element of success that isn’t usually taught. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  23. It’s extremely hard to be motivated ONLY by internal incentives. This is a difficult but necessary idea to accept. If you have a good job, with great benefits, high salary, and fantastic coworkers, BUT you’d get fired for being late, getting up early is easy. On the other hand, if you are suddenly wealthy, getting up early (unless that has always come naturally) will be extremely difficult. This is the main reason why lotto winners often end up WORSE off. At first, it’s fantastic. Because the money worries that plague most of us suddenly VANISH. The sudden removal of a NEGATIVE feels very positive. But it also removes all the external incentives that keep us busy. Since everything’s EASY, people who suddenly get rich slip into some pretty bad behaviors. Not criminal-bad, but unhealthy-bad. Without the EXTERNAL and automatic incentives to guide them, they end up drifting. Pretty soon the act of spending money is the ONLY thing that feels good. And once the TRANSACTION is over, the positive feeling that comes from the transaction vanishes. All the THINGS they have don’t really please them. It’s the act of purchasing things that gets their juices flowing. This is a very hard idea to accept. It’s VERY much like the shift from being REALLY HUNGRY to feeling stuffed and miserable. If you’ve ever purposely put off eating, or fasted for any reason, and you ATE TOO MUCH, you know how horrible the results feel. But this is something that quickly passes. The transition from hungry (sucks), to eating (pleasure) to being stuffed (miserable) goes away in a few hours, or at most a day. But the transition to being poor (sucks) being rich (pleasure) and then ONLY getting pleasure from buying things (miserable) can last for a lifetime. And just like it’s VERY HARD to imagine what it’s like to be stuffed WHILE YOU ARE HUNGRY, it’s very hard to imagine how being rich can be miserable WHILE you are poor. What’s the answer? Everything goes in cycles. Eating, being full, sleeping, getting hungry again. That is a very SHORT TERM cycle. BECOMING rich is much, much different than BEING rich. Since there is so much evidence that being rich tends to RUIN people that GET RICH without the requisite effort, this may indicate a very important point. About our true purpose. Not to BE rich. Not to GET RICH easily. But to spend our lives BECOMING rich. This is the proverbial road that is MUCH BETTER than the INN. This is the path upon which we can attain self-actualization. The process of learning and improving and getting closer. What if you don’t know HOW you’ll get rich? Luckily, there is a large collection of foundation skills that lie beneath every other skill. These you can get started on as soon as you want. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  24. There are plenty of metaphors about very small things having a significant impact. The plumber who knows where to tap, and gets paid a lot of money for that. The one snowflake that sets off the avalanche. The straw that breaks the camels back. Even Hemingway talked about how people go bankrupt slowly, and then all at once. All of these have a hidden idea of something slowly and continuously building below the surface. And then one “event” makes all hell break loose. But in reality, one straw can’t break a camel’s back. (unless it’s a REALLY weak camel!) One snowflake can’t cause an avalanche. And before that one plumber can walk around and know EXACTLY where to tap, he’s got to spend a lot of time studying and practicing plumbing. This CAN be a dangerous idea. For example, somebody reads a book about the law of attraction. And then they suddenly get rich. And they THINK they got rich BECAUSE of the law of attraction book. But in reality, they got rich because of the things they’d been doing for the past 10 or 15 years. They just HAPPENED to read the law of attraction at the right time. It’s kind of like the Chinese Olympic strategy. How do you win a bunch of medals in the Olympics? First, build a country with a BILLION people. Out of a BILLION people, there’s bound to be a few gold medal athletes. And of ALL the people who FINALLY find success, just by the laws of random probability, there are BOUND to be a few who JUST HAPPEN to read a book or a blog post about the law of attraction. But that doesn’t CAUSE their success any more than if the plumber had listened to a radio show about the law of attraction on his way to the job. Sure, he heard the show BEFORE he tapped the pipe in the right place. But that show didn’t CAUSE him to KNOW what pipe to tap. This is a common logical mistake. Event A happens BEFORE event B. And we assume that event A CAUSES B. Whatever B is, it’s usually caused by a TON of things. Most of which have been building for a LONG time. The REAL question, is what, specifically, ARE those things? Luckily, there are very common deep skills that underlie many specific surface structure skills. So if you get started practicing today, you will significantly INCREASE the probability of a sudden “miraculous” success. Everybody else will think that you just got lucky. But YOU’LL know the truth. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  25. If you wanted to be a world class guitarist, you’d need a lot of skills. Least of which would be guitar playing skills. You’d need business skills. You’d need stage charisma. You’d need skills of perseverance. You’d need promotional and marketing skills. Many people have the idea that they just need to be “discovered” to be famous. While that DOES happen occasionally, it’s about as likely as winning the lottery. If you look at any long term success, it will be a person that has a MASSIVE combination of skills. For example, you can find TONS of people on YouTube that are excellent guitarists. But with ONLY skills of playing guitar, YouTube is about as far as they can go. This is how most people think about success. By only looking at the surface structure. This is dangerous. Why? Because to get the skills required to become a world class anything, it would take a LOT of time. But if the surface skills were ALL you had, you’d spend plenty of years practicing ONLY to be on YouTube. That would definitely suck. It’s much easier if you flip things around. Turns out there is a collection of deeper skills that underlie ALL surface skills. Meaning no matter WHAT kind of surface skills you end up using to earn a living, having a strong set of deep skills will make it much easier. In fact, the skills you have NOW are likely enough. At least to get you going. Meaning when you start to practice these deeper skills, it will give ANY skills you have on the surface MUCH MORE power. These are easy, and you can get started today. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
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