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Found 40 results

  1. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/May06Post.mp4 Back when I was in high school, I ran cross country. And even before that, I was an avid jogger. And I used to play these tricks on myself when I was out running. One of them was when I turned up my street, and only had a hundred yards left, I would play mind games on myself. I would pretend that I was running to the end of my street. But my house was only halfway up. This would give me some mental energy to push all the way through. This was to counter a habit I'd had of slowing into the finish line. You can find this idea in plenty of areas. Pretending you are going much further than you really are. If you have a target, and you don't hit it, it sucks. But if you can "trick" yourself that your target is much higher than it really is, even if you don't hit your "fake" target, you'll hit your real target. Most people do the opposite. They don't hit their real target. So they pretend that their real target was LOWER than it was. This kind of reframing happens AFTER the fact. The other kind, with the fake target higher, is best done BEFORE the attempt. This is a very useful model to use when learning any kind conversational techniques. This does require you have a long term goal. A long term goal that is a very important, life goal. More of a "horizon" goal than the specific goal. For example, suppose you wanted to become the absolute most persuasive person on Earth. This is not something you can EVER achieve. But it is something you can keep getting CLOSER to. And the more persuasive you are, the much easier life will be. Pretty much everything you can think of REQUIRES you interact with somebody in SOME capacity. Job interviews, writing sales letters, convincing friends and family members, etc. So why not practice on the HARDEST and MOST ABUNDANT targets there are? Who? Attractive women. Most guys have this fantasy that when they see "the one" they'll rise to the occasion. The problem is, most guys have the AFTER THE FACT reframing strategy. They see a girl pop up out of nowhere. They try to talk to her, get her number, etc. They fail spectacularly. And then REFRAME that girl as NOT being the one. As only being PRACTICE. Which means they'll NEVER meet "the one." Instead, consider the opposite strategy. Of deciding, beforehand, that EVERY GIRL you ever talk to is practice. Because once you are comfortable talking to girls, EVERY OTHER persuasive conversation will be EASY by comparison. Job interviews. Convincing friends to go your way. Even girls you are INTERESTED in. Get Started: https://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-seduction/
  2. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Apr23Post.mp4 One very common, and very dangerous fallacy is the "set and forget" idea. This is possible in some areas, but not others. For example, you learn to tie your shoes and you're done. A few rounds of trial and error, figure it out and you're good. Riding a bike, driving a car, making a peanut butter sandwich. All these are skill that are EASY to put into the level of unconscious competence. But many other skills are not so easy. Cooking, for example, you can continue to learn as long as you live. There are nearly infinite dishes you can make. Each one will have it's own learning curve. Music is similar. Compared to learning how to make a sandwich, it takes much longer to learn to read music and play competently. This is just the beginning. Once you can recognize the squiggly lines on the paper, and match it to the sounds and rhythm on the piano, it's just the beginning. Every new piece of music will have it's own learning curve. What does cooking and playing the piano have in common? It's YOU and the stuff you are operating on. There is ZERO possibility that you can have "set and forget" cooking skills. Where you don't ever want to LEARN MORE. If cooking is a hobby, you will always want to learn more. If playing any kind of instrument is a hobby, you will always want to learn more. Even exercise is the same. You will NEVER get to the point where you are in shape, and think you're done. Even the idea is too silly to talk about. Of getting to a certain "point" of being in shape, and having that being a PERMANENT condition. Where you NEVER need to exercise again. All three of these things, cooking, music, athletics, is ONLY you. You and some equipment, or raw materials. This is why the next level of "set and forget" is about a billion times more silly and ridiculous. Any kind of interactivity with other humans will ALWAYS require learning. Real learning, (not memorizing a bunch of stuff) REQUIRES feedback. Even relationships between masters and apprentices were YEARS. A young kid learning from a blacksmith. All learning requires trial and error. Trial and error REQUIRES error. Error IS, by definition, failure. Because most humans are TERRIFIED of failure, we LOVE the idea of set and forget learning. But that's good. Why? Because if you can embrace learning, slow, continuous, life long learning, you will gain and advantage over many of the scared and lazy people today. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  3. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Apr12Post.mp4 You'll find feedback loops everywhere. Most of them are hard to predict. More of a general structure. The bigger the system is, the harder it is to predict. Like weather patterns, for example. A huge system with inter-dependent variables. One gigantic feedback system. Impossible to predict. This is why they can only give percentages when talking about rain. But from inside your own head? It's easy. Since you don't NEED to predict anything. You just need to have a direction. Not even a clear destination, only a direction. For example, imagine you have a phone sales job. You call warm leads, and try to sell them a product. There is no possible way you can possibly know BEFOREHAND what particular strategies will work, and which won't. But so long as you a DIRECTIONAL goal, each interaction will help you get there. For phone sales, the directional goal would be more conversations. 1% one week. 2% the next week. 4% the next week. This is, in a nutshell, the reason why HUMANS took over the planet. We had a CONSCIOUS idea of what we wanted. More food, more safety, more sex. And as we kept trying to get those things, we developed a long memory. A memory of what worked, and a memory of what didn't. One way to look at our self awareness is as a SELF COACHING system. A way to keep practicing until you develop new skills to the point of unconscious competence. Or NEW instincts. So long as you spend just a little bit of time practicing every day, you'll continue to get better. Nowadays, people have a LOT of downtime. Most of them are spending it watching Netflix or whatever else is on TV. But what happens if you spend just a LITTLE bit of time increasing your skills? Or learning new skills? Another reason why have such big brains is that's essentially what we did. Back in the old days when all we had was stories to tell, to listen to, or stare into the fire. What did we do when we stared into the fire? We kept playing and re-playing the previous events over and over and over. Thinking of ways we COULD have done things differently. Trying to use our fast growing brains to IMAGINE doing things differently. Of mentally practicing those things until we woke up the next day, and got back in the game. Those that were the MOST successful at this ended up conquering the entire earth. Today is no different. Learn skills. Practice skills. Mentally rehearse for when you get back in the game. And CONQUER the Earth. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
  4. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Dec18Post.mp4 Nearly all humans have the same basic intentions. We want to operate within the world to get what we want and need. We want some kind of vocation that rewards us for our skills. Skills we can continue to learn. Skills we feel are an expression of our nature. The ideal rewards for these skills are not only money, but recognition. The ideal situation is to present your skills to the world. And have them recognized as skills few others have. And because of that, you get money and genuine validation and recognition. And when you go home at night, with a pocket full of cash and some fond memories in your brain, we like to imagine a positive future. A future when your skills will get better. A future when your income will become higher. A future when your validation and recognition will become greater. This is the human spirit. To dream of presenting valuable skills in exchange for valuable rewards. Sure, free money is nice. But free money inevitably ends in pain. This is why lottery winners, and children of the rich are generally not the happiest people around. But we all have doubts. We all have a horrible fear deep within. One few are courageous enough to face. A fear that we will try our best, we will present our skills to the world, and the world will glance in our direction, and say, "no thanks." That we'll present our skills and somebody will say, "We don't want that." This twin energy pairs live in everybody's brain. In everybody's soul. The angel of success. Of trading skills for increasing success, recognition and admiration. The demon of failure. Of present skills and being told to take a hike. Knowing this gives you an advantage. Just strolling through a social environment, you can glance around at all the people. And see these twins battling for their soul on daily basis. With this knowledge, and only a few words, you can make them feel much better. So much better, they'll remember YOU forever. As being the turning point in their lives. The one stranger who uttered that one strange sounding collection of words. That resonated in their minds for days, weeks, months. We all have fears, we all have hopes, we all have dreams. We are all always on the precipice of success or failure. Every single person whose paths you cross can be tilted slightly away from failure, and toward success. Simply by learning a few structures of language and thought, you can become a real super hero. Not a pretend super hero with pretend powers. But a real super hero of language. A genuine wizard of thought. A gift that you can give to anybody, that will resonate in their brains. Learn this skill, and be remembered. Be valued. Be appreciated, loved, and cherished. Get Started: https://mindpersuasion.com/cold-reading/
  5. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov19PostA.mp4 A sense of humor is something that people are said to "have." What, specifically, does this mean? George Lakoff, a student of Noam Chomsky, theorizes that we use verbs and prepositions to describe how we think about intangible nouns. For example, consider the idea that you are "in" a relationship. A relationship is an intangible noun. Another name for the word relationship is it is nominalization. A noun created from a process verb. To relate to somebody. The noun, "relationship" is created from that verb, "to relate". And since it's created from a verb that describes an ongoing process, it's really a metaphor. But HOW, specifically, we use these intangible nouns describes how we think about them subconsciously. According to Lakoff's theory, since we use the word "in" with the word "relationship" we think of it as a container. This is why sometimes we feel "trapped" by a relationship. Something we are "in," but can't get out of. Yikes! But back to the idea of a "sense of humor." We use "have" a sense of humor. This indicates it's an object that you can possess. There are people that HAVE a sense of humor, and people that don't HAVE a sense of humor. But since we think of it as an object that it is possible to possess, we can GET a sense of humor. Or we can DEVELOP a sense of humor. Just like you can DEVELOP any other skills. He's got some MAD photoshop skills, for example. That intangible noun, "photoshop skills" is not something anybody is born with. Which implies we can LEARN how to "get" the things people have. And you already know that people who HAVE a sense of humor tend to be more attractive, all else equal, than those who don't. Why goes into a "sense of humor?" Seeing things differently. Being able to reframe things. Doing so on the spot, not twenty minutes later. Having some basic communication skills. But above all, having the sense of humor INTENTION. What is the sense of humor intention? The deep, nearly subconscious desire to make people FEEL GOOD when you speak to them. To make people smile. To make people laugh. To create a lasting impression of you in their brain. Of somebody they ENJOY being around. Of somebody they WANT to see again. OF somebody they WANT to introduce to all their friends. A sense of humor is actually pretty simple to understand. There is a TON of overlap, in many ways, with covert hypnosis. Which means if you learn one, you'll learn the other. Get Started: https://mindpersuasion.teachable.com/p/party-hypnosis/
  6. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct02Post.mp4 Imagine there was some kind of nuclear apocalypse. Or cannibal apocalypse if you like. Society ended, and most people died. Now imagine it's 1000 or so years later, and a new society has emerged. They've discovered a bunch of stuff from the old society. A few musical instruments, and some CD's of people playing these instruments. Since the CD's are really rare, only super rich people can listen to them. But there is an idea of something called "music" floating around. This really weird way of making sounds. Suppose some people had seminars on music. There were still plenty of instruments, but nobody knew how to play them. So the seminar teacher would talk ABOUT music. But they would never play. They talked about music in mythical terms. Metaphysical terms. These teachers were so charismatic they convinced everybody that they were actually learning HOW to play music. Instead of only learning about music. These people would go to parties and use music vocabulary. But they would never play music. Not even whistle or snap their fingers. It wouldn't be a stretch, in this particular society to imagine that "music" didn't really exist. It was just a bunch of snake oil dreamt up by seminar teachers as a way to get rich. They might even confront these alleged "musicians" at parties. "If music exists, whistle me a song," they would demand. "It doesn't really work like that," the musicians would respond. "How does it work?" the skeptics would fire back. "If you have to ask, then you don't really know. I can't really explain it to you," the musicians would fire back. Silly story? Not really. This is pretty much how things like NLP and hypnosis, and to an extent, any social based skills are taught and learned. Communication, money making, etc. These seminar gurus talk ABOUT the skill. They talk about what will happen once you HAVE the skill. But they never really explain how to GET the skill. These types of seminars FEEL LIKE you are learning something important. It sure feels like it. There's a charismatic guy up on stage talking. There's a bunch of people in seats listening. But here's the thing. The thing most people don't like to hear. EVERYTHING is a skill. Which means if takes practice. Not a little. Not enough until it's permanent. Imagine walking into a gym and asking a personal trainer: "Hey, how long until this exercise becomes permanent?" He'd look at you funny. Communication skills, money making skills, seduction and persuasion skills, are SKILLS. The more you practice, the better you get. Luckily, since few people realize this, with only a little bit of daily practice, you can slowly build a HUGE advantage. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/seven-rules/
  7. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept01Post.mp4 Humans are kind of like chainsaws. Chainsaws only operate at very high RPM's. At low RPM's, they kind of rumble and sputter. But rev 'em up, and their purr like a kitten. A kitten that can chew through trees like crazy. Humans are KIND OF like that. Meaning we were designed to operate BEST under certain conditions. What conditions? A lot of external pressures. External motivating forces. These operate how we feel SUBCONSCIOSLY. Not rationally. For example, imagine you had a fantastic job. Great pay, great working conditions, great workers, great potential for advancement. But if you showed up ONE MINUTE late you'd get a black mark. Three black marks and you'd be fired. You can even imagine that showing up on time is not based on any human's decisions. Imagine it was based on some uncontrollable, external event. And let's say the drive from your house to work was twenty minutes. Would you ever be late? Probably not. Because NOT being late would be easy. Getting up, showering, getting dressed, etc. The benefits of simply rolling out of bed on time would be ENORMOUS. Most humans, under these situations, would manage to organize their lives around getting up on time for work. But give that SAME HUMAN a bunch of money, so they don't need to work, and it will be much, much more difficult to get up on time. All our instincts were calibrated like this. Strong internal drives. Strong external pressures. Today, if you get a job that's pure commission, most people would hate it. If you don't sell anything, you don't get paid. But for the bulk of human history, this was the rule. If you don't work, you don't eat. If you don't KILL you don't eat. It's hard to imagine this without the external incentives. This is one reason we LOVE hero's journey type movies. Because even hero's like Luke Skywalker need to be FORCED onto the path. Most don't go willingly. WE don't go willingly. So we LOVE the idea of our circumstances FORCING us to take action. In fact, this is the most common reason for NOT talking ANY action. "If it was really important, I'd get it done." This means we'll never take action unless we are FORCED. But by then, it might be too late. You aren't getting any younger! You don't have to take HUGE action. Just small, tiny daily action. To build up your ACTION TAKING muscle. Pretty soon, you'll be a new human. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  8. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug27Post.mp4 In banking, they have something called "duration mismatch." When people make deposits, they can take them out at any time. These are called "demand deposits." But when banks lend out money, then lend the money for longer, fixed periods. Which means that on one side, they have, say $1,000,000 in deposits. These are deposits that could, theoretically, be withdrawn at any time. But that same money is lent out, but in fixed terms. Car loans, house loans, etc. These are for much longer periods. Theoretically, if EVERYBODY came to take out their money at once, their would be a big problem. According to the rules, the depositors could take out their money at any time. But the people who borrowed that same money have 5-30 years to pay it back. The duration of the depositors is day to day. The duration of the borrowers is long term. Hence the term, "duration mismatch." Humans have a lot of problems that are based on an idea of "mismatch." For example, if you were to practice an instrument, you would know, without even needing to think, that it would take a while. On the other hand the self-help industry is FILLED with ideas of "instant" this and "instant" that. But consider that EVERTYHING is best seen as a skill. And all skills take time. And most skills have ZERO upper limit. Meaning the more you practice, the better you get. People are drawn to "one weird trick" ideas in things like health, social skills, and money. One because we all WANT those things. We all WANT improvements in those areas. And we want them sooner, rather than later. But more importantly, the idea of the PROCESS of going where we are NOW to where we WANT to be is assumed to be PAINFUL. Getting into better shape is painful. Practicing social skills is painful. Practicing money skills is painful. But that's only because the alternative to the "one weird trick" idea, (which we all kind of know is a con anyway) is the "suck it up and do it" idea. Like ripping off a band aid. Or setting a compound fracture. But this is an unhelpful way of looking at things. A much more resourceful way is to think in terms of SLOW growth. Very, very slow. So slow it seems normal. So slow it's VERY easy. So slow it's NOT painful. And since these are skills with NO upper limit, even if you go REALLY slow, you'll still make daily progress. For the rest of your life. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  9. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug25Post.mp4 For some things, practicing is easy. Very, very boring, but easy. Playing the guitar for example. Many people would LIKE to be able to play. But few people do. The reason is pretty simple. We humans won't do anything unless we believe the benefits will be greater than the costs. You might imagine being to hang out somewhere, strum a few chords and get plenty of positive attention. That imagination would be the benefits. And so long as the costs were vague, it would be a fairly strong desire. But when you actually practice, it's boring and frustrating. Pretty soon you start to get a much more accurate picture of the costs. Eventually, the costs will seem GREATER than the benefits. And you stop. This is normal, and VERY rational. Nobody would ever do something where the benefits are NOT clearly greater than the costs. It's got nothing to do with willpower. In fact, willpower is a non-existing metaphor. It's always and only a matter of costs and benefits. If you believe the costs will be greater than the benefits, no amount of willpower will be enough. If you believe the benefits are greater than the costs, then no amount of willpower is necessary. There ARE, however a couple of ways to make the costs LESS and the benefits more. One is to spend more time VISUALIZING the benefits. Spending time journaling all the ways the benefits can manifest. Sticking to the guitar example, if you spent fifteen minutes per day actually practicing, and fifteen minutes per day journaling all the different benefits, this would be much EASIER to sustain. So long as the costs, as you experience them NOW are smaller than the benefits, as you experience them NOW, any skill building will be easy. Especially of the skills come with plenty of built in, INSTINCTIVE benefits. Playing the guitar is close, but there are a lot of variables. A much better and more valuable skill is general social confidence. This comes with TONS of built in benefits. Friendship, romance, business, pretty much anything. Since ANYTHING you want in life will generally involve other people. So building up your people skills, and your people confidence will lead to TONS of benefits. But the same rules apply. Costs and benefits. So long as you keep the costs low, and the benefits high, it will be easy. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  10. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July5Loop.mp4 The idea of free will kind of squishy. On one hand, it's pretty much the cornerstone of western society. In both religion and law. According to Christian tradition, the ONE THING we have, that nobody, not even the devil, can take away is our free will. Our decision to choose. Similarly, if you did something wrong, and you have to face a judge and jury, it's VERY HARD to convince them that somebody else MADE you do it. Even wives that kill husbands after years of abuse have a hard time getting off, UNLESS they kill the dude WHILE he's trying to kill her. All this presupposes that every single ACT we take is based on our ability to DECIDE to do it or to DECIDE to not do it. On the other hand, you could easily argue there is NO SUCH THING as free will. For example, one long study in the UK found that only 2% of adults who lost a significant amount of weight could keep it off for more than a year. If there was any argument AGAINST free will, it would be the growing obesity rates. Few people who are skinny make a rational decision to BECOME obese. And most people who ARE obese are DESPERATE to NOT be obese. If our FREE WILL is so ultra powerful, why can't we just DECIDE to only eat a couple thousand calories a day? Why can't we just DECIDE to get up an hour early and go jogging for an hour before work? Why can't we just DECIDE to study instead of watching TV, so we get a better degree and make more money? There MUST be something else going on. There must be something BESIDES just making a decision and getting an automatic outcome. Some things are EASY. If you decided to read a comic book, that would be EASY. If you decided to read a calculus book, that would be DIFFICULT. What's the difference? Perhaps the thing in between our will and our action is our skill level. Perhaps EVERYTHING we want to do is based on skills. Think of it this way. Every thing we WANT to do, that is EASY is based on a skill that has been TRAINED to the level of unconscious competence. If you have spent years practicing the piano, the DECISION to play a song would have an easy outcome. Without practice, the same decision to play the same song would be difficult and frustrating. The more you practice ANYTHING, the easier it will be. The more skills you have, the more you can do. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  11. Most people have heard about the four levels of learning. Unconscious incompetence, when you don't know you suck. Conscious incompetence, when you know that you suck. Conscious competence, when you don't suck, but you've got to use all your brain power to not suck. Then unconscious competence, where you can do it fairly well without needing to think. Many things that we learn come through these four categories. Tying your shoes, writing, driving, riding a bicycle, making a burrito. But there are some skills we come pre-programmed with. Like communication is a skill that we become unconsciously competent at without ever needing to think. We learn to speak before we are fully conscious. But if you were to learn another language, you'd have to go through the four stages. But you can also take something that already exists at the level of unconscious competence, and bring it back up to the level of conscious competence, and make it better. This is essentially what actors do. They take their natural, unconscious speaking patterns and consciously practice them. You can also do this with things like persuasion and seduction. Take your natural communication strategies, bring them up to the level of conscious competence, practice them until they are much more effective. Then drop them back down to the level of unconscious competence. This is the natural process when you take any skill, and improve it through practice. For most skills, there is no upper limit to the level of unconsciously competence. The more you practice, the better you get. Beliefs are similar, but a bit different. Beliefs are exactly skills. But they affect many other skills. Beliefs are like language, in that we learned them much before we were fully conscious humans. But very much like learning to speak better, you can learn to "believe better." How do you do this? More or less the same way. Do some work to find and examine your old beliefs. Rebuild them until they are better and more appropriate. Then practice believing them, until they drop back down to the level of unconscious competence. The thing about beliefs is they affect MANY different skills. So if you target the right beliefs, they will create a kind of domino effect on your skills. Find them, rebuild them, practice them, and drop them back down. Once this happens, a LOT of things will become much easier and much more effective. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  12. One of Cialdini's important laws is called "Commitment and Consistency." It's kind of complex how it works, especially from a persuasion standpoint. It's the idea behind sales funnels. You buy a product for $3. Then you buy another product for $19 from the same place. Then you buy another one for $49. Sales funnels use this PLUS scarcity. Each additional sales is a "one time offer." So they are combining TWO of Cialdini's laws. The law of Commitment and Consistency (you already bought one, so one more is consistent) and Scarcity (one time offer).. If you study Cialdini, you'll find the seven laws being used in nearly all advertising. Usually in clever combinations. The Holy Grail of advertising is to create FOMO. Fear of missing out. This usually involves at least THREE Cialdini laws. Most of the time FOMO happens organically and spontaneously. If it does, it's a marketers dream come true. You get a bunch of goofs on TV talking about some product. This gives you authority. Then all your friends are talking about that product. This gives you social proof. Then you realize that these products are hard to get. This gives you scarcity. All these add up to FOMO. Meaning if you WAIT, the products will be GONE. And all your friends will have one, except for you. This is the same psychology behind market bubbles. Everybody is buying, and the price keeps going up. Higher and higher prices mean that LOWER prices are getting scarcer and scarcer. Warren Buffet famously said that when your idiot next door neighbor is getting rich, you can be sure you're in a market bubble. Many of Cialdini laws play out in VERY interesting and complicated ways. One of them is that the older we get, the more set in our ways we become. This is Commitment and Consistency in action. Doing NEW things requires a lot of brain power. We don't like using brain power if we don't have to. But some things we keep even if they don't quite "work." This is how our limiting beliefs are formed. We took on a belief when we were very young. It was formed from a protective, defensive standpoint. But as adults, they no longer support us. They do the opposite. They KEEP US from doing what we want. But unless we find them, DISPROVE them, and then rewrite them, they'll keep working. The process not that different, structurally, from rebuilding an engine. It's a pain to take it apart and put it back together. But once it's back together, it's faster, stronger and much more powerful. Do this with any belief you want. So you can do any behavior you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  13. Our language, and our world, is more filled with metaphors than we realize. Problems happen when we mistake metaphor for reality. So long as we are using metaphors to talk ABOUT something, they're fine. But if we are trying to use metaphors as guiding principles, that's when we run into trouble. The red car idea is a common way to describe our filters. How we separate the important stuff from all the noise. For example, somebody doesn't notice all the red cars. Then they buy a red car. Then they suddenly notice all the red cars. Before, they didn't think red cars were important, so their subconscious filtered them out. Once they bought one, red cars became important. Their subconscious filters were re-calibrated. But it would be a mistake to think that their subconscious CREATED the red cars. This is why sometimes when we visualize on things we want, we can see evidence. But sometimes we can't. The difference is NOT the strength of our visualizations. The difference is some things are ALREADY THERE around us. Only when we start to visualize them, see SEE them. We SEE what is already there. To imagine you can use your brain to make things MAGICALLY appear is a mistake. This is an example of MIS-UNDERSTANDING the metaphor. Because this metaphor can also be used to "describe" the law of attraction. But the word, "attraction," is not TECHNICALLY correct. Because you are not ATTRACTING anything. Your mind cannot LITERALLY pull objects from space. Another problem happens when metaphors are about processes. Specifically learning processes. For example, you see a cute girl across the room. Somebody says, "Just go up to her and be yourself." What, EXACTLY, does that mean, "be yourself"? How can you ever NOT be yourself? Is it even an option to NOT be yourself? Like transform into Iron Man or something? When one human wants to communicate a PROCESS to another person, it MUST be done metaphorically. Then it's up to the receiver, to take that metaphor and apply their OWN trial and error learning to MAKE SENSE of that metaphor. So you might hear the advice to "be yourself." Then you try a different versions of "being yourself." Until you figure out what the means, from your own SUBJECTIVE viewpoint. Then when you achieve success by "being yourself," you can now give that same advice to somebody else. This is how ALL learning must happen. First with a metaphorical description. Then when trial and error experience to DEFINE that metaphorical description for yourself. But there is one HUGE barrier to this simple process. And that is the collection of limiting beliefs we all carry around with us. But once you GET RID OF these negative beliefs, learning ANYTHING will be simple. Metaphor. Practice. Skill. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  14. https://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  15. When I was a kid I used to play golf. My friends and I would play at this nine hole course next to our junior high school. I had some hand-me-down clubs, and it was only $5 to play. One hole gave me problems. We had to hit over the water. Seeing the water always messed me up. Then another kid gave me some fantastic advice. Advice that I keep playing in my mind whenever I need it. And that was to pretend the water was green grass. To negatively hallucinate the obstacle. So I could see and focus on the objective beyond it. Of course, he didn't put it like this. He just told me to pretend the water was grass. But in effect, this is a very powerful strategy. Whenever you have a long term objective, but a shorter term obstacle is in the way. Even metaphorically, this can mess us up. The short term obstacle tends to grab our attention. So we lose sight of the longer term goal. That phrase, "lose sight" is VERY appropriate. Even when thinking metaphorically, we still speak in terms of SEEING things. If you are thinking about a long term objective, but the short term obstacle is messing you up. Another visual metaphor is that short term obstacle is CLOUDING your vision. You can't SEE the big picture. If you can see your objective with TUNNEL VISION, you are purposely excluding the things you don't want to see. All visual metaphors that are IDEAL for describing ideas. It turns out that purposely practicing SEEING THINGS in your mind's eye can help. For example, if it's Monday, and you've got a lot of things to accomplish. You can LITERALLY close your eyes and SEE each day. Then you can SEE what you'll be enjoying on the weekend. This is something you can practice. And just like anything else, the more you practice, the better you'll get. So if you practice looking toward the weekend with tunnel vision on EASY objectives, you'll get better and better. At first, you'll only be "strong enough" to exclude mundane obstacles you'll need to deal with. But pretty soon, if you STRENGTHEN your tunnel vision, you'll be able to VISUALIZE outcomes that are further and further out in the future. Seeing further goals out in the future requires two separate skills. One is having a LONG VIEW. Two is being able to purposely exclude the things you don't want to see. Just like pretending water is really grass. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  16. If you learn something that's helpful in one context, it's sometimes not so helpful in another context. Once my friend talked me into going snowboarding. I had done a lot of skateboarding when I was younger. I mistakenly assumed they would be similar. It took me a long time to get from the top to the bottom. Even though it LOOKED the same, it was completely different. Very rarely will you get a professional athlete that is skilled in more than one sport. Plenty of us have baggage from childhood. We "learn" certain things that are helpful in certain contexts. But they mess us up as adults. For example, most kids learn between the ages of 2-3 that is CAN be dangerous to be outgoing and expressive. So later in adulthood, we WANT to express ourselves, but we feel a deep and barely perceptible anxiety. This even works with our instincts. What helped us humans a LONG time ago is a pain today. Way, way, back in the day, it was a benefit to be hungry. It was a benefit to eat everything you could whenever you have a chance. Obviously, that strategy today isn't so helpful. Today, if you want to stay healthy, you've got to think a little bit about what and how often you eat. Many of our other instincts are the same. Helpful back then, not so much today. One of them is how and who we learn from. Way back then, and even recently, it was a good strategy to simply copy those older than you. When you were old enough, you could take over. But today, that strategy won't work so well. The skills that were helpful even ten years ago aren't so helpful today. Just like we need to think about what and how often we eat, we need to think about what we learn. One of the biggest mistakes is thinking somebody can TELL US what we need to do. This is very dangerous. Mainly because it FEELS comfortable. To be told EXACTLY what to do. Because if there really WAS a step by step plan for ANYTHING, everybody would be able to do it. And if EVERYBODY could do it, it wouldn't be worth much. The trick is to find out on your own what to do. And how to do it. This is not easy. This requires living with a little bit of uncertainty. It requires SLOWLY expanding your comfort zone. Many people cannot or will not do this. Which means if YOU can, you will have a huge advantage. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
  17. Having the wrong metaphor can ruin everything. Most everything we perceive is done through metaphors. Our brains have only evolved to really make sense of macro physics. Apples falling from trees, etc. But our brains are also capable of creating and interpreting hallucinations as if they are real. This is how we come up with mythology and other incredible stories. All from looking up at the sky and imagining that the stars are people. As soon as we imagine they are people, we start making up stories about how they interact. Used "correctly" these stories can inspire us and motivate us. Used "incorrectly" we might not stay alive very long. For example, if ALL you did was beseech the gods for healthy crops, you'd die. On the other hand, if you beseeched the gods AND did the job of tilling the soil, planting the seeds, and doing the daily work of making sure everything grew correctly, you'd have a much better chance. The first case would be an OVER-DEPENDENCE on a metaphor. The second case is when you use the metaphor as MOTIVATION or INSPIRATION, but not in place of doing the actual work necessary. We have a lot of metaphors in our daily lives. One of the most dangerous one is to think in terms of perfection. Or to have an objection that is TOO HIGH compared to our level of skills. For example, if you'd been practicing the piano for a couple of weeks, it would be a huge mistake to think you were ready to perform. But this is something we do all the time. We READ something, and think that reading about something is the same as PRACTICING that same thing. For some reason, we think that reading is the same as practicing certain skills. Mostly social skills. We read a book, or have an idea about what we want conversationally. But then we go out and fall on our faces. We are frustrated, but ONLY because we had expectations that were ABOVE our level of skill. If you have your expectations in congruence with your skills, you won't be frustrated. Things like social skills are ALWAYS in progress. Every single person you talk to is going to be a completely NEW experience. An UNEXPECTED experience, since you don't know them. So having an expectation based on a completely unknown situation is illogical. It's much better to dial back your expectations. And see every communication as ENJOYABLE practice. That way you'll eliminate frustration, and keep getting better. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  18. Very often, something that feels good in the short term can add up to long term pain. It feels good to sleep in every day, and it sucks to get up at the crack of dawn. But it's easy to imagine how sleeping in EVERY DAY can slowly destroy your productivity. While on the other hand, getting up at the crack of dawn will tend to INCREASE your productivity. Similarly, food that tastes REALLY GOOD tends to add up. The better it tastes, and the quicker it tastes better, the worse it generally is for you. On the other hand, food that is healthy tends to be things you have to acquire a taste for. Or at least acquire a habit of eating. Doing physical labor, or exercise, isn't inherently pleasurable. Only by slowly associating the benefits that come with exercise make it pleasurable. But even then it's not nearly as "enjoyable" as relaxing, or getting a nice massage. This is easy to see when the pleasure is physical. Sleeping late, eating fast food, getting massages. All feel fantastic, and all will have negative impacts on health if that's ALL you do. But mentally pleasurable things are JUST as dangerous. It turns out that in terms of calories per gram, our brain is our most expensive organ. Thinking literally is hard work. Watching TV is easier than studying calculus. But just like jumping from the couch to the weight machine CAN BE dangerous, so can switching your mental skills. If you were 500 pounds overweight, and you wanted to get in shape, you would naturally ease into it. Because if you didn't, you would FEEL IT. There would be a real and present danger of doing too much too soon. I had a roommate once that tried that. Decided he was going to go down to the track and do some sprints. Unfortunately he hadn't worked out in years. After only ONE DAY of sprints, he could barely walk. Messed up BOTH knees. If you jump from the TV to the calculus book, you can do similar damage. You won't exactly break your brain, but it won't be pleasant. And unfortunately, EVERY SINGLE TIME you try something like that, you'll build an association. That doing mental work is hard and painful. On the other hand, if you go VERY SLOWLY, it's much easier. AND you have a much better chance of building the OPPOSITE associations. That doing mentally strenuous work is pleasurable. Just like exercising is for those who do it habitually. It takes while to ease your brain into this. But imagine the things you could do once you train your brain that doing mentally difficult things is enjoyable. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  19. One of the reasons economics is called the “dismal science” is because of the idea of opportunity costs. If you’ve got ten bucks in your pocket, you can buy whatever you can get for ten bucks. Whatever you decide to buy, when you hand over that ten bucks, that’s the direct cost. The opportunity costs are all the things you CAN’T buy once you make your decision. Say you’re in fast food land. And you decide to buy a gigantic carne asada burrito combo with your ten bucks. The opportunity costs are all the things you CAN’T buy once you decide on the burrito. Nachos, burgers, a fat blunt, anything. Opportunity costs are one of the main reason we don’t go after goals. Everybody wants more money, more love, more sex, more free time, quieter neighbors, more respect, etc. But we also enjoy all the stuff we enjoy. And once we start doing things to GET the things we want, we MUST stop doing some of the things we like doing. Even WORSE is the idea that we are wasting our time. Meaning we might spend year trying something that will hopefully get us more money, but what if it doesn’t work? That would be horrible! Not only can we NOT DO the things we would have done (opportunity costs) but the stuff we ARE doing aren’t getting us SQUAT! Instead, we prefer to “imagine” that one day through some kind of “magic” the stuff we want will just “happen” somehow. Without any effort on our part. In the present moment, this is an easy and comfortable thought. But since it’s a fantasy, thinking this way comes with its own opportunity costs. While you are sitting around waiting for the magic wish fairy to show up, you could be doing REAL things that will give you REAL improvement. Developing the base skills that NEED to exist beneath every other skill. The mental practice and rehearsal exercises that will make all other skills easy. The mental foundations of ALL success. What are these, exactly? You can learn all about them. Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  20. They say a directionless arrow never misses its target. Meaning if you just randomly shoot an arrow without choosing a target, you can’t miss. On the other hand, if you shoot an arrow at a target, you most definitely CAN miss. Why would you want to shoot an arrow without aiming at anything? Maybe it’s fun. Maybe you like to watch the arrow sail through the air. Maybe you like to imagine your an archer in an ancient battle. None of those guys really aimed. They just sort of picked and angle and hoped for the best. With a bunch of archers on one side of a battlefield, and a bunch of soldiers on the other, you’re bound to hit something. Unfortunately, this isn’t a very good life strategy. Imagine a guy going out to meet girls. Ideally, he’d LOVE to end up with a sex party threesome with a couple of disease-free, porn star freaks. But most normal dudes will take whatever they can get. Which usually ends up not being much. This is like just shooting your arrow in a battle and hoping for the best. Instead, consider the idea of having an actual target. The threesome might be a bit too much. At least in the short term. Believe it or not, having a long term, “horizon goal” of having tight enough game to talk ANY group of females into a sex party is a worthy goal. One that is WAY out there. One that compels you to keep improving. The best way to keep improving is to choose very tiny, very achievable goals. Week one might be getting eye contact and smiles from five ladies. Week two might be getting a few short conversations. Week three might be getting some actual phone numbers. Week four might be going on one date. Most guys DON’T like this. It seems LONG and tedious. Most guys want the sex party RIGHT THE F NOW! But here’s the great paradox of life. The bigger your target is (sex party, for example) the less forward progress you’ll make. The smaller your target, the more RAPID you’ll make forward progress. This is a harsh question, but consider it. Instead of “sex party” swap out any equally desirable goal. Beach house, corporate president, etc. How closer are you to that goal compared to one year ago? Now imagine doing the slow, week by week plan. Assuming you’d stick to it, and make slow, gradual, tortoise like progress, how far would you be in a year? This is the secret to real tangible achievements. The kind that will make your friends ultra jealous. The slower you go, the faster you’ll get there. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  21. In sports, a common saying is “leave it on the field.” Which means when you play a big game, you put in 100% effort. So when the game is over, you’ve given everything. This is a fantastic idea for sports. The problem with metaphors like this is when they are misapplied. For example, let’s say you wanted to walk across the room and talk to somebody. The “leave everything on the field” approach isn’t so appropriate. When you’re playing sports, especially an important game, winning is the ONLY thing. (Except maybe for little league...) Any team that loses the championship game and shrugs it off as a learning experience may be missing the point. Imagine your favorite team after losing the superbowl or the world series or the world cup. “Well, we didn’t win, but the important thing was we learned a lot about our capabilities and we tried some new plays which worked out pretty well.” Most people would be understandably angry. But this is an IDEAL response for anything that is NOT sports. In fact, not getting a hundred percent success rate is a very, very good thing. Paradoxically, when you DO get a hundred percent success in anything that is NOT sports, you won’t really know why. Which means you won’t learn much. Which means you won’t get much better. Which means your ONLY strategy is to “get lucky.” On the other hand, shooting for about an 60-70% success rate is perfect. Because everything that DOESN’T work is the best teacher. This hard to wrap your mind around for most people. Especially if ALL you can see is in a short term time frame. Which is why having a LONG term time frame is essential. So long as you see any interaction or event as ONE of many, on a continuous unfolding future, it’s much easier to accept feedback. The more you can accept ALL feedback, most importantly NEGATIVE feedback, the better you can improve. This is easy in the beginning of the baseball season, for example. There are always a lot of games still to be played. How, specifically, can you cultivate this mindset? By creating something called Horizon Goals. Undefined, but positive goals WAY out in the future. At a skill level much higher than you have now. So that any interaction in the present is more easily seen as PRACTICE. Once you see every interaction as partial practice for the next, continuous improvement is simple. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  22. Being able to deliberately hallucinate is a great skill. So long as you don’t start to believe in the hallucination. For example, way back when I was in JHS, me and my buddies would play golf. There was a nine hole course next to our school, and it was cheap. Only about $5 for a round. We all had hand-me-down clubs. One particular hole always gave me trouble. Because you had to hit it over the water onto the green. Because I knew the water was there, it made me nervous, and I always hit the ball into the water. Until one day my friend gave me some advice. He told me to pretend the water was really grass. When I did, I didn’t have any issues. It was a very useful hallucination. But if I actually started to believe it, it would have been a problem. Because I would have actually tried to walk across the water as if it were grass. And since the water was actually part of a condemned lagoon, with big signs that said “no swimming,” I probably would have got some messed up lagoon disease. The ability to turn on and turn off hallucinations is very powerful. These temporary hallucinations can be used to either reduce anxiety or increase motivation. So long as you can consciously manage them, they are very useful. One thing they AREN’T is “auto pilot.” Unfortunately, we humans are very attracted to any “auto pilot” idea. As if we can think of something only once, and expect a sudden and permanent change. This is why most self-help programs don’t work. People have the silly idea that simply by passively reading a book, their brains will somehow switch on their own. This is why people find the idea of hypnosis so compelling. It allows them the imagine they can relax, and some other “THING” will do the changes for them. Hypnosis IS a powerful tool. But it is a tool. And tools don’t operate on their own. You could have the best set of tools in the world. And set them next to a pile of perfectly cut lumber. But unless you actively USE the tools, that house ain’t gonna build itself. This is the great paradox of most self-help techniques. The tools ARE powerful. But if they just sit there, the are equally useless. Which means you probably have enough tools in your brain. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to use them. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  23. Once I was on this backpacking trip. We were going up over the first pass. If you’ve never been on a multi-day backpacking trip, the first day is always the hardest. You drive up as high as you can and park. Then you walk up and over a pretty high mountain range. Once you get on the other side of that first mountain range, that’s when the fun starts. You more or less walk flat (at least compared to the first day). Huge valleys, no people, meadows, streams, lakes filled with trout, wild animals, etc. It’s all very much worth the first day. And on this particular day, we were going over switchbacks. These long zig-zags that slowly go up to a high mountain pass. On this particular hike, there were a LOT of switchbacks. Going back and forth, slowly upward, for several hours. And each switchback was long. So long that when you got to the end, you couldn’t tell if you were at the top or not. It was VERY EASY to convince yourself you were at the top. You could see the trail going up, and then only blue sky. The closer you got, the more you started to convince yourself that you were almost there. But then you’d get to the end, and you’d have to turn and go up another LONG leg up the side of the mountain. Physical and mental torture all at once. Almost there, almost there, almost there, aw crap! Over and over and over. This how many things in life seem. You’ll be pursuing a goal. So much you’ve got tunnel vision. So much you start to think that once you complete this goal, you’ll be on easy street. Unfortunately, it ain’t like that. Not one bit. Paradoxically, the MORE you convince yourself that the next goal is going to be the culmination of your life, the more motivated you’ll be to get it. But once you get it, and see it’s true context, it CAN be a let down. This paradox is hard to accept. That from the vantage point of the VERY END of your life, they’ll be TONS of stepping stones into your future. But BEFORE you achieve each of those individual stepping stones, convincing yourself THAT is going to be THE ONE is the best way to get motivated. That’s just the way it is. The easiest way to shift from that “aw crap” moment is to just keep on huffing it toward your next milestone. This plays out in many areas. Your financial life, your love life, your career life, your spiritual life, your health. But the MORE of those milestones you achieve, the easier it is to maintain your momentum. And you can start, or re-start, from WHEREVER you are. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  24. One of the myths of NLP is in it’s most common name. “The Study Of Excellence.” The idea is you can find something that is “excellent.” Then you can study it. And if you study it well enough, you can recreate that excellence yourself. This is how NLP was created in the first place. By COPYING people who were ALREADY excellent communicators. But there are a couple problems with that. Imagine a regular mall. Imagine that mall over the course of about thirty years. Shops come and go. Some last longer than others. Trends change. Demographics change. The economy changes. Suppose in that one mall, that’s been there for 30 years, there are three stores that have lasted the whole time. From the standpoint of “studying excellence,” all you’d have to do would be to “study” exactly what those three stores did, and you could reproduce it. Right? Not really. Because every single year, each one of those stores had NO IDEA whether they would be successful. Put it this way. Let’s suppose you had 64 people, each with a quarter. And each person flips the coin six times. By pure probability, ONE guy would likely get six heads in a row. Now, suppose you walked up to THAT guy and tried to “reverse engineer” his coin flipping strategy. And you thought if you studied him enough, YOU could flip six heads in a row. Pretty silly, right? But this is essentially the SAME THING that happens when you have a mall around for thirty years. Every shop maybe has a fifty-fifty chance of success. So at the end of thirty years, the shops that are around are less “excellent” and more lucky. Sure, staying in business is more predictable than flipping coins, but there IS tons of unknown risk. Otherwise ALL BUSINESSES would succeed. The question, then is HOW EXACTLY can you “study excellence” when MOST SUCCESSES are based primarily on “luck” that is NO DIFFERENT than a coin toss? One way would be to figure how to TAKE MORE CHANCES where you can accept the loss. If you wanted to flip a coin and get six heads in a row, you could. You’d just to keep flipping long enough for it to happen. It might take a few days, but with persistence, the laws of probability DEMAND that it occurs. If you go long enough, it would be impossible to NOT happen. And there are things those successful shops did that INCREASED their chances of success. And there are things YOU can do everyday that will increase YOUR chances of success. Even if you don’t know what that is yet. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  25. There’s an interesting theory from classical physics. Chaos theory. It basically says that while the laws of (classical) physics are deterministic, we can’t really predict very far into the future. An example is a two body problem vs. a three body problem. Two bodies is two simple masses in space orbiting around each other. Only those two, nothing else. With only those two, and the laws of gravity, you could take a snapshot at any given time, and using only their starting position, predict what they would look like WAY into the future. But with three bodies, this is impossible. Two bodies means only TWO interdependent variables. The movement of ONE is dependent on the movement of the other. And that other is dependent on the first. But with only two, the math is not too complicated. But add in a third object, and now you’ve got THREE inter-dependent variables. Which makes it impossible to predict what they’d be like. The laws of physics still work. It’s just the math is theoretically TOO COMPLICATED to predict very far into the future. This idea was first discovered with weather predictions. They would take a weather model, on a very powerful computer. They could set the beginning conditions, and then let it play out for two weeks. (Two weeks of computer simulated time). Turns out that EXTREMELY tiny changes in the starting conditions made HUGE changes in only a couple weeks out. This is where they get the idea of the “butterfly effect.” A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, and causes a hurricane in Texas two months later. This is why they will NEVER be able to predict the weather very accurately. It’s got nothing to do with the accuracy of the equipment. And EVERYTHING to do with the theoretical and mathematical limitations. Now, a weather system has only a few interdependent variables. Wind speed, temperature, humidity, etc. But what about human nature? How many interdependent variables are there in a lifetime? In a few years? Even few weeks? If predicting the weather a couple weeks out is impossible, how the heck can we predict our lives? This is FANTASTIC news. Because no matter WHAT you are doing now, ANYTHING can potentially happen in your future. With one VERY IMPORTANT restriction. You must accept that YOUR future MUST be created by YOU. NO magic from external entities. No winning the lottery. Only YOUR BEHAVIORS. But when you combine the idea of chaos theory, with daily consistent behaviors, ANY FUTURE is possible. What daily behaviors? These: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
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