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Your brain is incredibly fast, but it's not very accurate. Most people don't realize how much energy the brain uses. Based on its size, it's an energy hog. Kind of like some of those programs on your computer. Everything starts running slow, so you check and see that one program is sucking up all your resources. Unfortunately for us humans, that means that our brains simply CAN'T be BOTH fast and accurate. How do we lose accuracy? By making "guesses," or as they say in NLP, "distortions, deletions, and generalizations." Meaning every time we look out into the world, our brains are quickly trying to find as much background info as possible. Kind of like the cache on your browser. Unfortunately, it's pulling up some OLD data. Like when you were two, three years old. Just when you started to learn to walk and talk. At first, it was pretty cute. But sometimes it was a pain. So today, when you look out into a social situation, you feel a desire to move forward, but also tons of subconscious memories that are telling you that expressing yourself is dangerous. Lucky, there's an easy way to fix it. All you need to do is create a "buffer layer" between those OLD memories and your current self. And you make up that buffer layer with NEW memories. Basically, you just create situations that give you the OPPOSITE feeling of those very early memories. And what kind of memories are those? Ones that say it's safe and easy to express yourself socially. How do you do that? ALWAYS bail out before something "bad" happens. NOT after, like most people do. Most people charge ahead until they get kicked out. But when you do the opposite, you'll quickly OBLITERATE any effect those early memories have on you. All you do is START to do something, and as soon as you get ANY GOOD RESULT, eject like crazy. You want to LEAVE the situation just as it's getting good. This will create a feeling of "I could have done more." Do this enough times, and that "expressing myself socially" will FEEL EASY. So when you think about doing anything socially, or talking to anybody for the first time, you'll have a lot of memories making it seem simple, rather than difficult. The sooner you start building those memories, the easier it will be. Click Here to make it easy.
The other night I stumbled across a comedian on Netflix. The jokes weren't that funny, but the crowd loved her. I tend to "reverse" engineer people when their "content" doesn't hold my attention. Meaning I stopped listening to the actual jokes, and started paying attention to her delivery. If you've ever watched TED talks, their kind of the same. The actual CONTENT of the talks aren't really that groundbreaking. Simply because they're meant for the non-scientific, mainstream audience. If you read a TED talk as a blog post, it wouldn't be nearly as interesting. But the way they are structured is what's interesting. Like a very well put together infomercial. Dark stage, spotlight on the speaker. Cut-away's to surprised, delighted or otherwise moved (and also more attractive than normal) audience members. All designed to take the message (the content of the speech) and make it MUCH MORE entertaining or insightful than it would be on its own. Why do they do this? More importantly, why do we humans respond to "normal level" content that is PACKAGED in an extraordinary way? Because we are humans, not Vulcans. (Those logic-only aliens on Star Trek). We are EMOTIONAL creatures. Without our emotions we are NOTHING. We would never have invented stories, literature, theater, and everything else that moves us. It is IMPOSSIBLE to separate the MESSAGE from the DELIVERY. Which is good if you can speak in a charismatic and outgoing way. With just a basic message, you can go a long ways with a powerful delivery. You might even say that your message HAS TO be one that EVERYBODY can comprehend. Which means if you ONLY work on your delivery, you'll go pretty far. A great way to do this is to watch some comedians. YouTube or Netflix, wherever you find them. Turn down the sound and study their movements. Then try and reproduce SOME of their movements when you're out in public and talking to your friends. This will take your powers of communication to a much higher level. Like anything else, this takes plenty of practice. But if you practice anything enough, including social skills, you will get better with time. So start practicing! Click Here for more information.