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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug20Post.mp4 There's a psychological idea called the "pushback effect." If you've ever gotten into an argument online, you've no doubt experienced it. This, like most of our biases, is something that's easily seen in others, but very hard to see in ourselves. Which means it is an ego-based survival instinct. The pushback effect is triggered when somebody tries to counter your argument. The INSTINCT is to hold fast, regardless of the other person's logic. The MORE you come at the opponent with logic, the MORE they'll dig into their position. Our beliefs are very much associated with our identity. This goes along with the "beliefs as food" idea. We don't really eat food because it's healthy. We eat food because it tastes good. Way back in the day, this was perfect. The BETTER something tasted, the BETTER it was for us. Meat and fat were ideal, as they were dense sources of needed calories. Sweet fruit even better. Roots, and tubers, not so much. They were better than nothing, but not as good as a freshly killed slab of meat. Of course, today, with recent discoveries in chemistry, food is engineered to be delicious. But at the cost of health. Beliefs can operate the same way. We don't believe things because they are true. We believe things because the help us and make us feel good. So when somebody attacks our beliefs, it very much FEELS like they are attacking US. Hence the pushback effect. Somebody attacks our beliefs, which makes us dig in. Very much like a physical confrontation. If somebody pushes you, you push them back. Nearly all "fighting technology" is based on pushing back BETTER than they pushed you. Only few are based on NOT pushing back, but instead using THEIR energy. This can be done conversationally as well. Not in arguments, but in persuasion and influence. For any purpose. Sales, friend making and seduction. Since the pushback effect is based on ego, it's very HARD to turn off. But if you can manage to turn it off, and simply ask very easy to answer, linguistically calibrated questions, they will feel FANTASTIC. Even enjoyable conversations between friends have the pushback effect. Each person is very subconsciously trying to OUTDO the other. But once you shut off your ego, they will be able to EXPAND. The more they EXPAND the better they feel. And when you carefully allow them to expand their ego, they'll be willing to do whatever you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug18Post.mp4 There are a quite a lot of truisms. The problem with truisms is three fold. One is that they are popular. Two is that they are true. Three is where the problems begin. It's how our brain treats "knowledge" and "experience." If you hear something once, it might seem like a good idea. But if you hear it a bunch of times, and eventually begin to repeat it yourself, then it starts to FEEL very familiar. But familiar in a superficial way. Not in a deep, experiential way. You can tell that somebody has this level of "knowledge" when you ask them to explain EXACTLY what they mean. But they can't. They have a weird combination of KNOWING that something is true. They know it as well as their own name. But they can't explain HOW or WHY it's true. When people have ideas, you can tell how they explain them. They say things like, "Well if you think about it, it makes sense." Since that's how THEY experience it inside their own brain. They've ACCEPTED the idea from others. The idea makes them feel good. They've thought about that idea a whole bunch of times. But they've never take the time to actually take apart the idea. This type of thing pops up ALL OVER THE PLACE in self help and self development. Entire seminars are filled with gurus saying these truisms in a whole bunch of different ways. But never once explaining how EXACTLY to apply them. Here's an example. A very common, and often repeated marketing strategy is as follows: "Encourage their dreams, allay their fears, and throw rocks at their enemies." This SOUNDS fantastic. Who wouldn't want their dreams encouraged? Who wouldn't want their fears allayed? Who wouldn't want help throwing rocks at their enemies? Everybody would. Which is why this is GOOD advice and TERRIBLE advice at the same time. Good advice because it rings very true. Terrible advice because it doesn't explain HOW, specifically, to do that. For example, how, exactly would you ENCOURAGE somebody's dreams? You could say something silly and common: "You should TOTALLY go after your dreams!" Or ask them what their dreams are. And then say: "Yeah! You should totally do that!" Problem is that this is the SAME strategy that every other fake goof tries. If you went into an upscale department store, and tried on an expensive shirt, THIS is what they'd say: "That shirt looks great! You'll DEFINITELY get laid!" This is an ATTEMPT to encourage your dreams. Unfortunately, it's the same fake line that EVERY salesperson uses. Luckily, there is a very specific set of linguistic techniques that you can learn. To make it very easy to elicit and BUILD up their dreams. And some more specific linguistic techniques to ENCOURAGE their dreams. In ways they've NEVER experienced. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug15Post.mp4 Cialdini laws can be found everywhere. These are very much like biases, in that you can see them in others, but it's very hard to see them in ourselves. For example, social proof, authority, and commitment and consistency are three of Cialdini's laws. And these three ideas are behind most beliefs in our brain. Most of us NEVER take the time to consider any of our most closely held ideas. Humans didn't evolve by being slow thinking logicians. Humans evolved by thinking quickly. As a means to an end. The END was not "truth." The END was safety, food, sex, social status, etc. Advertisers know all about Cialdini laws. Even before Cialdini showed up. Social proof, authority, scarcity, commitment and consistency, you'll find these in all things sold. But since they operate BENEATH conscious awareness, we can ONLY see them in other people. We are not robots, we are not Vulcans. We are ILLOGICALLY thinking, emotionally driven humans. And we very much NEED to believe we are logical. Normally, this isn't a problem. Normally, this is a BENEFIT. If you had to logically prove everything, not only would be you lonely, but you'd be EXTREMELY depressed. Unless you are hard core scientist who NEVER leaves the lab, (and is married to a robot sex doll), being illogical and emotional is WHO WE ARE. The problem comes when we try and PERSUADE others. We tend to make decisions emotionally. Based largely on Cialdini laws. But THEN, because we have a need to BELIEVE that we are logical and rational, even when we aren't, we come up with a logical sounding reason WHY we did what we just did. When we only tell ourselves these reasons, that's PERFECT. But if we use these SAME REASONS to try and influence others, it won't work. Since they aren't the REAL reasons. Luckily, there is a way to temporarily SHUT DOWN this post logic imagination. Which is essentially an ego protection tool. Once shut off (temporarily) you can talk to others to BUILD up their deep desire. The STRONGER their desire is, the more they'll enjoy talking to you. The more they'll be ATTRACTED to the things you are talking about. The more they'll want to DO THEM. The more they'll want to DO YOU, but you gotta be careful. Because this works VERY QUICKLY, and very strongly, the LAST thing you want is somebody you DON'T KNOW being super attracted to you. So go slow, and you'll be fine. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug14Post.mp4 Being assertive is difficult. Very few people are naturally assertive. Even people who are considered assertive are really aggressive. To be truly assertive means to speak your truth without any emotional energy. The idea is you say what's on your mind, and accept ANY response from the other person. To be assertive means that you CANNOT change the thinking or behaviors or ideas of the other person. Theoretically, this is the BEST way to communicate. To effectively speak your truth. Clearly state your boundaries, your intentions and desires. Accept the people that respect you. Disqualify the people that don't. However, there is a HUGE difference between theory and reality. In THEORY we only need to eat 2200 calories a day. In THEORY we should be getting 8 hours of sleep a night. Theories don't help much. Because WE live in reality. And the reality about asking for what you want is it's HARD. Most people suck at it. Most people are timid when asking for more water at a restaurant. Walk up to an attractive person and "state our truth?" Please! "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're very attractive and I would very much enjoy having sex with you." In THEORY, that's all you need. But in reality? You'd get punched in the FACE! Clearly, we need another plan. A better plan. An easier plan. Sure, you COULD approach ten people a day, until you build up some confidence. But what if you get punched ten times a day, in the FACE?! You could find a therapist that would help you get to your deeper issues. Heal your inner child. Connect with your higher power. Ain't nobody got time that! We want results, we want them quick. AND we are lazy, and impatient. Luckily, there is a solution. A set of simple questions you can ask. Questions that are easy to answer. Questions that don't make it seem like you are trying to GET something. Questions that are all about THEM. NEVER about you. Questions that will build up their desire. So strongly, they'll start to see YOU through that desire. Which means everything will be THEIR idea. And since you NEVER need ANY kind of close, or speak any kind of "truth," you'll never feel even a HINT of anxiety. Nor will there ever be any rejection. This does require you DO a couple of things. But they are NOT things that create any anxiety or invite any rejection. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July16Post.mp4 A very common desire among would-be persuaders is a secret collection of magic words that would work on anybody. The idea is very compelling. It's as old as written language itself. Ever since the dawn of time, humans have struggled to survive. The idea of conjuring magic to shortcut the necessary work is therefore very compelling. For the longest time, people sought out alchemy. Isaac Newton, the guy who invented calculus and physics, was an alchemist. Not in the modern sense of the word. But back then, BEFORE they figured out chemistry and the structure of atoms and molecules, they really had no idea what the difference between dirt and gold was. So the idea was compelling. To figure out a way to turn dirt into gold. Of course, to the modern brain, this sounds silly. Like it should only happen in fantasy cartoons. But this idea is the source of ALL human invention. To always be dreaming of an EASIER way of doing something. When they discover it, it seems like magic. Then they figure it out, explain it, refine it, etc. And it's no longer magic. But you can't take something that SEEMS like magic, and then explain it scientifically, unless you BELIEVE in magic. At least some type of science that hasn't been discovered yet. Which is essentially what the famous quote is all about. Science, when it's far above our level of understanding, IS magic. Modern desires for conversational alchemy are similar. In the movies, it's pretty easy. If you remember McFly from back to the future, he had a memorize line that was SUPPOSED to make his future wife fall in love with him. But he mispronounced it. He MEANT to say, "You are my destiny." But instead, he said, "You are my density." But he recovered, said it correctly, and it worked. Like magic. This is the core idea of a magic spell. You say it correctly, and it works. You say it incorrectly, and it doesn't work. But is there modern magic? Linguistic alchemy? Yes, but not in the way most people are looking. People are looking for memorized statements. Phrases and patterns. Like in the movies. The trick is not in SAYING the right things, in the right order. But asking the right questions in the right order. This makes this type of magic much more flexible. Much more applicable. Friends, strangers, lovers and everybody in between. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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Witchcraft, Seduction and Sexual Market Value: https://mindpersuasion.com/modern-seduction-problems/ https://soundcloud.com/mindpersuasion/modern-dating-dumpster-fire https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July11Loop.mp4
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https://mindpersuasion.com/collateral-attraction/
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Very often there is huge difference between long term and short term strategies. If you want something in the short term, this will often make it MUCH more difficult to get those same things in the long term. And if you try to get those same things in the LONG TERM, it will make it much more difficult to get satisfaction in the short term. One obvious area is food, eating and exercise. Sitting on the couch and eating burgers FEELS GOOD in the short term. But it adds up to lots of PAIN in the long term. The older you get, the more your joints will hurt. The more clogged you arteries will get. And ultimately, the sooner you'll die. Jogging and eating healthy every day doesn't feel good in the short term. But it adds up to a much LONGER and healthier and happier life. You will have much less body pain as you get older. You won't have pains shooting up and down your joints when you get out of bed. You'll even keep your brain intact for much longer. As they say, short term gain leads to long term pain. And short term pain leads to long term gain. This is also true in dating and attraction. For example, many guys have mastered the art of short term success with the ladies. Any time you use ARTIFICIAL strategies, or "game," you are using a collection of INORGANIC personality traits. This is why a guy CAN have ton of short term success, but not much long term success. Since that short term success is based on an inauthentic representation of YOU, it's hard to keep up. Pretty soon the REAL YOU will show up. And that REAL YOU will be different than the guy she was attracted to. Consider an alternative. Of being the REAL YOU all the time. This sounds like VERY CORNY advice! Just be yourself! The trick is to ALWAYS be improving your REAL SELF. So your REAL SELF will always have better and better results. How do you do this? By improving your goals. By improving your communication skills. By improving your financial skills. Here's where it gets REALLY interesting. The quality of woman you can attract by being the REAL YOU is a very useful PROXY for how SUCCESSFUL of a life the REAL YOU can achieve. Which means if you continue to build up the REAL YOU to have a much better life, you'll AUTOMATICALLY be more attractive to higher quality women. This means you'll need to ditch short term, magical "game" type thinking. And focus on REAL, long term success. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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It's a common idea to wish for magic seduction tricks. Even in other things like weight loss, it seems we humans are absolute suckers for the "one weird trick" scam Like if we find that one weird trick to lose weight, our problems are over. Or if we find that one secret hack into the female mind, we'll understand how easy it is to make ANY girl fall head over heels in lust with us. Unfortunately, these are all cons. Based on the same idea of the ancient snake oil salesman. The guy who would roll into town, and sell the "one weird potion" that would fix everything. Of course, he NEVER sold stuff out of an actual store. He HAD to sell it off the back of a wagon. So he could go from town to town. The idea being he'd be gone when people were wise to the scam. PT Barnum famously said there is a sucker born every minute. And suckers are suckers because we are willing to believe something that is too good to be true. Like shortcuts to making money, or shortcuts to losing weight, or shortcuts to romantic success. The truth is that anything WORTH getting will have a couple of clear identifying signals. One is it will be something FEW people have. If EVERYBODY had it, whether it be a thing a skill or a characteristic, it wouldn't be special. Two is it takes time and effort. And since most people are SCARED and LAZY, most people would rather spend their entire lives searching for one weird trick. In a way, this is good news. Because if you actually put in the work, you'll slowly differentiate yourself from every other lazy goof out there. And when it comes to developing GENUINE attraction from attractive women, the more work you put in, the more attraction you'll generate. So long as you start SLOWLY, and continue SLOWLY, it will very soon become a daily habit. And daily habits are easy. So long as they are daily habits that are BUILDING valuable skills. And it turns out the SAME SKILLS that attract high quality women are the skills that build a high quality life. And these skills have NO upper limit. Which means the more consistently you build them, the BETTER and STRONGER your skills will become. No weird tricks needed. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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Despite modern popular propaganda, there are tons of differences between men and women. And a very easy way to imagine these differences is the ONE THING that led to human flexibility and creativity. Every other animal except for humans doesn't have a sexual division of labor when it comes to getting food. Choose any animal, and when they are hungry, males and females both go after the same type of food. But humans split along gender lines. LONG before we were humans. Men hunted, and women gathered. We either become omnivores BECAUSE of this, or we split along gender lines BECAUSE we were omnivores. Men got protein and fat. Women got roots and other stuff from the ground. This lasted for a few million years, and accounts for MOST behavioral and psychological differences between men and women. For example, women are capable of carrying on about a million different conversations at once. This is because while they were digging for roots and grubs, they were watching the kids AND gossiping like crazy. Not only can they carry on tons of conversational threads at once, BUT they seem to have eyes all over their heads. When you were a kid, and you thought you mom couldn't see you, now you know why she could. It is an evolutionary advantage. Men, on the other hand, are the complete opposite. They can carry on ONE conversational thread at most. And even then it's mostly grunts and nods. And male vision is very long range and narrow. This is what you'd expect from spending all day hunting. Not talking much, always scanning the horizon for something to kill. This gives us an insight into the type of MEN women are hard wired to be ATTRACTED to. NOT the kind who can carry on a girly type conversation. NOT the kind who is prone to gossip. The kind of guy women are hard wired to be attracted to is the guy who is ALWAYS looking for something to kill. And when he DOES kill it, he drags it back to camp. The guy who kills the biggest animal gets the biggest rock star treatment. This is why women love a guy with REAL social status. The social status that comes from being a KILLER. He goes out, he kills, he comes home and chills with his people. This is why if you text too often it will kill attraction. This is why if you're too needy, it will kill attraction. This is why if you're too worried whether she likes you, it will kill attraction. She wants you to get out and kill something. And then bring it back. Translate these instincts into modern times, and you've got it made. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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One question that is tough to answer is what you do for a living. You could be in the middle of a conversation with a cutie and everything could be going smoothly. But then the "what do you do?" questions pops up. There are a couple of things to understand about this. One is there are always two layers of communication. Conscious and subconscious. If the conscious layer sounds good, but the subconscious doesn't, it will come across as incongruent. This is why movie acting isn't as easy as it appears. On the surface it seems pretty easy. Just remember your lines, right? But if you've ever seen a crap movie with crap acting, then you know that the lines are only a tiny part. The best actors have the best underlying energy to go along with their lines. So even if you have a decent sounding job, if you deliver your job description with some less than confident energy, it will kill attraction. But the opposite won't work either. If you work at Jack in the Box, and really enjoy your job, that might not be a good answer either. More important than how you make money now is what your plans are for the future. Not your hopes or wishes, but PLANS. If she asks what you do, no matter WHAT your current job is, so long as you deliver a solid PLAN for the future, it will INCREASE attraction. How do you do this? The first step is to actually CREATE a plan. Write it out. Start where you are, and write out your PLANS for the future. The steps you'll need to get there. Keep journaling these steps over and over. Until they are hard wired into your brain. Until it makes you feel ALIVE when you think about it and say it. When you think about your plan for the future, it should seem MUCH more compelling than any ONE girl. This is what creates very deep and irresistible female attraction. Of hearing a guy who doesn't chase girls, but chases his LIFE. But if you ONLY chase your life, girls won't naturally follow. You've got to interact with them. Not to try and seduce them, just to have friendly conversations. Make a habit of this, and pretty soon plenty of girls will be thinking of you. And all you'll have to do is choose the best one. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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If you have tons of money, it's easy to get a loan. If you not only have tons of money but have a couple of steady income streams, it's even easier to get a loan. On the other hand, if you're broke and walk into a bank, they'll want nothing to do with you. The same idea goes for generating unconscious attraction. If you are desperate, nobody will want anything to do with you. If you are the opposite of desperate, everybody will want some. If you've walked through any crowded nightspot with a nice lady on your arm, you know this feeling. EVERYBODY is checking you out. From a social proof standpoint, there's about four different levels. The first level is if you are by yourself and radiating desperate energy. Your head whips around to every pretty girl that walks by. The second level is if you are with a group of guys. But if that won't do much more if you still radiate that desperate energy. The third level is you are a clear alpha of that group. You don't pay much attention to what's going on around you. You and you crew are doing fine on your own. The fourth and most coveted level is if you are with one or more ladies. This sends a completely DIFFERENT signal to the entire room. But it's very possible to cultivate that fourth level energy EVEN IF you are by yourself. 93% of communication is non-verbal. Most of THAT is subconscious. Both sent and received. If you are desperate, you are sending out TONS of non-verbal and subconscious signals. But if you are the OPPOSITE of desperate, you'll be sending out completely different types of energy. Very attractive types of energy. Energy that will be picked up subconsciously. This takes a while to develop. But you can get started today. Most of the required exercises are pretty easy. They are JUST LIKE calisthenics. The more you do, the stronger you'll get. Most guys will ALWAYS be desperate. Meaning even when they are IN a relationship, they'll still be worried about losing access to emotional and sexual intimacy. This is why most guys are pretty easy to manipulate. But when you develop this anti-needy energy, you will radiate the opposite. YOU will be the chooser. And everybody will know that. Which means you can take your time, develop your criteria and be patient. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/thousand-virgin-sacrifice/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/gaslighting-gang-hits/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/seduction-revenge/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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There's a lot of math problems floating around online. They usually have a catchy title. Like, "90% of adults fail this third grade math problem." One I've seen a few times involves something called "order of operations." Say you've got a math problem with some addition signs, subtraction signs, multiplication signs and division signs. According to the strict rules of math, you MUST do them in the correct order. Otherwise you'll get the wrong answer. This is why many adults will "fail" those third grade problems. Because adults will FORGET the correct "order of operations." For example, consider the following math problem: 3+3x7=? You're supposed to do the 3x7 BEFORE you add the other 3. If you do them from left to right, like reading, and add the two 3s's and THEN multiply by 7, you'll get the wrong answer. But in English, this order of operations doesn't exist. It's only assumed. But this means you can have a LOT of fun. For example, say you went to a party. And somebody asked how it was. And you reported: There were a lot of pretty girls and people there. Most people would naturally assume the correct meaning. That there were a lot of people. And AMONG those people were some pretty girls. But you can misinterpret that on purpose. And assume that the group of "pretty girls" and the group of "people" are two different groups. So you might reply: "And the pretty girls, they were aliens or something?" When you learn to pay attention to the potential ambiguity in EVERYDAY speech, you can have a lot of fun. See, it's one thing to drop jokes. You say something funny, and people laugh. And then that's that. But when you purposely reframe ambiguity, it also INVITES other people to participate in. To PLAY ALONG with the joke. For example, in the pretty girls and people joke, you can EASILY go off on how "pretty girls" are a completely different species. Like they're from another planet, etc. This is the REAL SKILL of world class party humor. It's the kind of humor that can involve EVERYBODY. Not just some goof standing there hogging all the attention. And with the right inner game, you can covertly create a HUMOR CONTEST where everybody is trying to come up with the CRAZIEST examples. On whatever reframe you just dropped. All it takes is a little tweaking of how you view language. Do this and people will LOVE to have you around. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/party-hero/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/mind-control-plant/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/art-gallery-seduction/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/multi-levels-of-rapport/
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One of the most coveted interpersonal "feelings" is one of outcome independence. Meaning you are totally relaxed in the moment. The less you seem concerned about the outcome, the more likely you'll get a positive outcome. For example, let's consider two sales people. One is VERY HIGHLY dependent on the outcome. This guy would be extremely worried about NOT making the sale. Which would make him very aggressive trying to make the sale. He would come across as pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer. He might even get angry if customers didn't buy. On the other hand, consider a guy who didn't mind if he made a sale or not. Why would he not care? Perhaps he was truly concerned with customer satisfaction. He only wanted to sell if the customer wanted to buy. Or maybe he would get paid no matter what. One strong reason to be outcome independent is understanding the numbers. Even if somebody gets paid pure commission, the longer view they take, the easier this will be. If they KNOW, based on experience, that one out of ten will buy something, they can simply relax. Instead of seeing every customer and thinking, "I hope they buy!" they'll instead see each customer and think, "Hmm, I wonder if they'll buy." Talking to a customer from the second frame of mind would be much more relaxing. Both from the customer's and the salesperson's standpoint. The LONGER your view, the more you can see each individual interaction as a TINY part in the whole. The SHORTER your view, the more anxious you'll be. The more each and every conversation will feel like it's do or die. There are many ways to cultivate this long view. One is to have a lot of experience. Another is to practice seeing EACH interaction as a learning opportunity. This starts by looking at each interaction AFTER it happens. And using it as a source of improvement. The more you do this, the easier it gets. Pretty soon you'll develop a real time "outcome independent" feeling. Another way to look at it is where you put your focus. If you ONLY focus on the short term, you'll ONLY see the short term. Success is fantastic. Failure is horrible. But the LONGER your view, the less each interaction means. Pretty soon, no matter WHAT happens in the short term, it will FEEL like success. This will significantly increase your confidence, and your chances of success. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
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There are a lot of common themes in movies. One very common idea in movies with a romantic theme is the odd character that finally finds somebody who "gets them." Everybody has a huge collection of ideas in our brains. But we all equally suck pretty hard at describing those ideas. The other night I was watching a documentary. And I noticed how articulately all those "common people" in the doc were explaining the situation. If you think about it, most people in documentaries, who are allegedly normal people describing un-normal things, are much more articulate that regular folks. But that's the whole point of documentaries. To give us a window into an event. But they are also commercial products. Documentaries are made by people hoping to earn a profit. For the documentary makers, it's their job. And just regular movie makers, they want to make the BEST product possible. So when they interview those "normal" people, they want to make it INTERESTING. So even though they are giving the average person's viewpoint, it is VERY practiced. They've likely been given the questions ahead of time, and have had plenty of time practicing. Many "takes" even. So they sound more articulate than most "normal" people. If you were to walk up to a random person on the street and ask them what they thought about any current event, they wouldn't be NEARLY as articulate as anybody on TV. What does this mean? That we are ALL walking around with very COMPLICATED ideas in our brains. And most of us SUCK at describing those ideas with very much detail. So how the heck are we supposed to CONNECT with other people if WE can't express ourselves very well, and THEY can't express themselves very well? The answer is actually pretty simple. The trick is to NOT worry about expressing yourself. Nor is it to put THEM on the spot and expect THEM to do all the work. The trick is to use a simple question process that helps them EXPAND what's in their mind. By asking very EASY to answer questions. That help them get MORE and MORE expressive and detailed. This also allows you to find all the SIMILAR ideas inside your brain. This makes it easy on them. This makes it easy on you. And this creates a LOT of deep connections. Deep connections that will be memorable and profound. Ones they won't find anywhere else. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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There's a powerful technique in the Milton Model. Of course, there are many, and this is but one. It's called the, "I'm not going to tell you..." pattern. It works because as soon as you utter those words, people's brains kind of turn down their defensive shields slightly. So if you say something like, "I'm not going to tell you to buy this product." It is a sneaky way to slip in the "buy this product" command. But it's very useful if you add on a bunch of stuff after. And that it seems like the stuff you add on after is the main part of the sentence. It's kind of like a magic trick. If you study magicians, they often to the "trick" part very early on in their routine. Then they do a bunch of talking after. If they can spit some pretty good game, the talking part is kind of a "mental cover" so you'll forget what happened before. So when they do the "reveal" it will seem much more magical. So when you use the "I'm not going to tell you..." pattern, it works the same way. You put in the command directly AFTER the "I'm not going to tell you..." and then you add on a bunch of stuff that will give them a reason to do EXACTLY what you said you weren't going to tell them to do. For example: I'm not going to tell you to BUY THIS EBOOK, because I want you to decide for yourself whether you would like to significantly increase your charisma and seductive powers. After all, many people find they don't like having gorgeous women following them everywhere and begging for sex. But you can also do this in a much subtler and more profound way. You don't ever actually SAY, "I'm not going to tell you." But you CREATE that feeling. Whenever you approach somebody, either a romantic target or a customer, it's hard to do so and pretend you aren't. If you are a guy, and you walk up to a girl in a social situation (or vice versa) it's pretty obvious what's going on. It's even MORE obvious if you are a salesperson and you approach somebody browsing in your shop. But there IS a way to approach WITHOUT any sales or romantic energy. And then through VERY relaxed and VERY subtle conversation, TURN UP their desire (buying, romantic or otherwise). And do so SO delicately they believe it is COMPLETELY their idea. They will actually believe that they are SPONTANEOUSLY feeling buying or romantic desires. For THEIR reasons. Which means there will be very little, if any, internal resistance. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Most normal adults are terrified of public speaking. Most are MORE afraid of public speaking than death. Most normal people also have a certain amount of approach anxiety. Sure, a lot of folks won't admit it. But ANYBODY that is normal will be at least a little nervous when they approach somebody they don't know. ESPECIALLY if this person has something. It could be a hiring manager at a networking event. It could be a famous movie star who's autograph you want. It could be a potential customer. It could be a potential romantic interest. But it is absolutely NORMAL to feel nervous when doing this. And there are two perfectly reasonable reasons for this. One is that every single human has a very rude awakening around 2 or 3 years old. That is we LEARN that expressing ourselves is dangerous. This isn't done to us on purpose. But we all have TONS of memories, hard wired in BEFORE we really became conscious, of this two step process. The first step is we have a need, so we express it. The next step is an angry adult shows up and tells us to be quiet. Since this has happened HUNDREDS of times to any normal human, we develop belief. That expressing a desire EQUALS somebody getting angry. That's the first reason. The second reason is much deeper. Genetic. Evolutionary. And that is for the HUGE majority of human history, we ONLY hung around people we knew. Only in the last few seconds of our existence on this planet has the opportunity to approach strangers ALONE been open to us. Our social instincts are NOT calibrated to deal with one-on-one interactions with strangers. This is why anything like approach anxiety is pretty much built into our system. It's also why it's so hard to get rid of. But there IS a workaround. The anxiety is strongest when we feel we are presenting OUR desires to another person. When we feel like we are asking FOR something FROM them. When it is reasonable and logical for them to say NO. Just like that deep cause effect. We ask and the adults say no. So anything that FEELS like that is going to bring up those deep beliefs. The answer is to NOT ask. At least not ask FOR something. Nearly all social anxiety involves the thought of ASKING for something and getting rejected. So stop asking FOR something. Instead, ask ABOUT something. Turn OFF your own ideas and beliefs and requests. And BECOME INTERESTED in the other person. Turns out there is very easy way to ask them a bunch of easy to answer questions. Questions that they will ENJOY answering. Since they are about THEM. And the more they answer, the better they'll feel. And they will associate that good feeling with you. And since those good feelings will be coming from inside THEM, there is no possibility of rejection. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
