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  1. Develop The Eyes Of Confidence: https://mindpersuasion.com/develop-the-eyes-of-confidence/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  2. Practice Being Your Best Self: https://mindpersuasion.com/practice-being-your-best-self/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  3. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Dec16Post.mp4 Humans are learning machines. We have a both a huge collection of instincts and a nearly infinite learning potential. Infinite doesn't mean you can put an infinite amount of data in your brain. But the things you CAN learn, are infinite. But these require you spend some time learning those things. Unfortunately, most people today have a kind of misguided idea about learning, what learning really means. For most of us, we associate learning with school. Us sitting there. Some teacher telling us things we are supposed to remember. That are supposed to be important. Organized education has been going on way back since the middle ages. People realized that to become a functioning adult, you need a certain "base" collection of skills. This is one key difference between now, and back then. Now we listen or read for information. We take a test, and show we know that information. But for the longest time, learning meant learning skills. How to DO things. This misconception is why things like math seem so hard. We treat it like other subjects. Like we're supposed to just sit there while the teacher talks. Then we know how to do math. But for something like math, it's much more like a sport. One of my favorite professors in college would say that about physics. He said you can't learn basketball by watching basketball. You can't learn physics by watching physics. You need to PRACTICE. Just like sports. Not try to remember, but PRACTICE. This is one key reason we HAVE self awareness. A collective memory. We can WATCH ourselves practice. Humans started in Africa. But then we spread out all over the world. Every time we went into a new area, we had to LEARN how survive. This wasn't by studying academic textbooks describing how to survive. This was LEARNING by trial and error. Getting food, reading the weather, staying safe are META skills. Each environment we went to would require we fine tune how to do those META skills in that new environment. Modern life is very similar. Particularly when it comes to our meta skills, and this new "environment" in which we find ourselves in. Talking to people, making friends, creating romantic relationships, these are META skills. Skills that are programmed into your DNA. All it takes is a bit of fine tuning in the current environment. Something humans have been doing for TENS of thousands of years. Another way to look at this is "re-calibrating" this instinctive relationship building skills for our new environment. Once they are re-calibrated, they will be on auto pilot, like they are supposed to be. Just like everything else humans have been learning since the dawn of time. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/relationship-generator/
  4. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug15APost.mp4 Many loops or cycles are self sustaining. Both on a massive, life on Earth scale, and as individuals. You're in a good mood, so you smile at the ladies. Since you're happy when you smile, they smile back. Thereby enhancing your good mood and keeping the cycle going. One theory is that all life on Earth is essentially one gigantic self enhancing, slowly growing organic entity. This can seem pretty metaphysical. All kinds of energy flowing back and forth and growing at the same time. There's an idea that you can "fake it till you make it." This is sometimes true, but only in certain situations. Which situations? The ones that most QUICKLY lead to those self-sustaining, positive loops. For example, if you were to do an experiment to verify this, you might start off with "fake" smiles. So long as you had enough people to smile at, it would work. Holding a smile when you're really neutral doesn't take a lot of energy. Eventually, people would smile back at you. Then your smile would then be natural, and subconscious. This a kind of "prime the pump" kind of thing. Once your "smile-feedback-pump" system was primed, it would take very little emotional energy to keep it going. On the other hand, trying to "fake it till you make" under other situations would be catastrophic. Suppose you happened to be at a nightclub, and they were having an open mic rap battle. Something you'd never done before. And suppose you decided to get up on stage, hoping you'd "fake it till you made it." This is a self sustaining loop that takes WAY more than fake smile. Most people understand this. This is pretty intuitive. Simple fake it till you make it stuff is stuff we do anyway. More complicated fake it till you make it, like rap battles, not so much. But there are some simple things you can do. Things that you won't need to fake, since they'll be very easy. But the natural feedback you get, will be much, much more than the energy you put out. For fake smiles, it's kind of a one-to-one thing. Smile at people, they smile back. But there are a few things that take little energy, but get MASSIVE returns. Smiling is one thing. Smiling says very little about your social status. Little kids in kindergarten can smile at a CEO and the CEO will smile back. But some things that you can practice a little bit at home, and then use them socially will get you MUCH MORE than a one-to-one return. Things are the things that subconsciously demonstrate high status. Which means people will treat you AS IF you are very high status. And once THAT self-sustaining loop gets going, you've got it made. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/p/stage-wizard/
  5. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July30Post.mp4 A common piece of advice is to leave everything on the field. If you are playing in a championship game, this is good advice. But sometimes, it's pretty bad advice. More so in some sports than others. Maybe in football, where each game is pretty important. And you've got a week in between games. But for sports like baseball, if you "left everything on the field" every single game, you'd risk injury. The COSTS (potential injury) wouldn't be worth the benefits, of MAYBE eking out a win when you might have otherwise lost. But for many things, this idea of leaving EVERYTHING on the field is HORRIBLE advice. In fact, the opposite is usually much, much better advice. For example, suppose you wanted to learn how to play the piano, and you were starting from scratch. Suppose that you fully understood, and accepted, it would take a year or more of daily consistent practice. Once you have the desire, and you accept what is going to cost, the next step is to figure out HOW you want to practice. If you practiced until you couldn't move your fingers any more, this would be very much like "leaving everything on the field." This would slowly create an association in your mind of: "Practicing the piano = pain and exhaustion" Which would be likely to make you quit. On the other hand, suppose you went much, much slower. So you practiced for maybe 10 minutes every day. So you still enjoyed playing when you STOPPED practicing. You left a lot ON the field. This would slowly build up a much different association: "Practicing the piano = fun" This would be much more likely to shift your thinking. From, "I want to practice the piano until I'm a skilled piano player." To, "My hobby is playing the piano, which I enjoy very much." This creates a very POWERFUL mind shift. From "practice" which is generally a means to an end. To "hobby" which is an end until itself. And much more sustainable. This is a fantastic model to apply to social skills. Most have the "practice until I'm good enough" model. But consider shifting into engaging socially as a HOBBY. This requires you force yourself to specifically NOT leave everything on the field. Leave when you are still having a good time. When the people you are interacting with a still having a good time. This "end on a high note" strategy will make you remember EVERY social interaction fondly. But it will also do something MUCH more powerful. Once you slowly create the "social interactions are fun" memory, your brain will ALWAYS be thinking about how to do better NEXT TIME. Since social instincts are a very POWERFUL driving force. This is something you'll understand once you slowly recalibrate how you feel about them. So any anxiety you may feel now will soon be part of your history. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/anxiety-killer/
  6. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/May06Post.mp4 Back when I was in high school, I ran cross country. And even before that, I was an avid jogger. And I used to play these tricks on myself when I was out running. One of them was when I turned up my street, and only had a hundred yards left, I would play mind games on myself. I would pretend that I was running to the end of my street. But my house was only halfway up. This would give me some mental energy to push all the way through. This was to counter a habit I'd had of slowing into the finish line. You can find this idea in plenty of areas. Pretending you are going much further than you really are. If you have a target, and you don't hit it, it sucks. But if you can "trick" yourself that your target is much higher than it really is, even if you don't hit your "fake" target, you'll hit your real target. Most people do the opposite. They don't hit their real target. So they pretend that their real target was LOWER than it was. This kind of reframing happens AFTER the fact. The other kind, with the fake target higher, is best done BEFORE the attempt. This is a very useful model to use when learning any kind conversational techniques. This does require you have a long term goal. A long term goal that is a very important, life goal. More of a "horizon" goal than the specific goal. For example, suppose you wanted to become the absolute most persuasive person on Earth. This is not something you can EVER achieve. But it is something you can keep getting CLOSER to. And the more persuasive you are, the much easier life will be. Pretty much everything you can think of REQUIRES you interact with somebody in SOME capacity. Job interviews, writing sales letters, convincing friends and family members, etc. So why not practice on the HARDEST and MOST ABUNDANT targets there are? Who? Attractive women. Most guys have this fantasy that when they see "the one" they'll rise to the occasion. The problem is, most guys have the AFTER THE FACT reframing strategy. They see a girl pop up out of nowhere. They try to talk to her, get her number, etc. They fail spectacularly. And then REFRAME that girl as NOT being the one. As only being PRACTICE. Which means they'll NEVER meet "the one." Instead, consider the opposite strategy. Of deciding, beforehand, that EVERY GIRL you ever talk to is practice. Because once you are comfortable talking to girls, EVERY OTHER persuasive conversation will be EASY by comparison. Job interviews. Convincing friends to go your way. Even girls you are INTERESTED in. Get Started: https://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-seduction/
  7. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Apr28Post.mp4 Magic Johnson was famous way back in the day for his "no look pass." The then Lakers played very well together. And combined with Johnson's super human skills, he could literally pass the ball behind him. He had very wide peripheral vision, as many athletes do. Bruce Lee was another athlete who had wide peripheral vision. Of course, in the movies, this was exaggerated, by his super wide eyes when he'd be beating the crap out of everybody around him. A more recent example is a gif that's been going around. Of a baseball player talking to a reporter. Far on the other side of them is a batter hitting a ball. The ball curves toward them, and the player looks quickly, reaches up, and catches it bare handed. They were standing in the outfield, and the time was about 1 or 2 seconds from when it was hit to when he caught it. But the way he caught it was like how a normal human would catch a tennis ball tossed from a couple feet away. Even then, such a "no look catch" would be impressive. There are a few things going on here. One is that we all have that kind of capability. Of training our senses to being highly calibrated to our environment. The totality of our mind-body system BEYOND our very small conscious awareness is EXTREMELY under-utilized. Our mind body systems were calibrated with life was much more dangerous and difficult. To get our needs met, we had to THINK very hard about how to do that. To stay out of trouble, we had to THINK very hard about how to do that. We had to ALWAYS pay very close attention to our environment. Today, only professional athletes come close to what USED TO BE normal. This means that every single human has MASSIVE untapped potential. This DOES NOT mean you can become rich by chanting some magic ancient words. Or by simply ACKNOWLEDGING your potential you will automatically ACCESS your potential. We all have potential like we have PUSH UP potential. ANYBODY can train themselves to do a couple hundred pushups. This is the kind of potential that everybody KNOWS they have. But activating that potential takes a lot of time. AND there isn't much of a payoff. But there IS massive payoffs to activating OTHER kinds of potential. Body language reading, projecting, etc. All of us JUDGE others very quickly. We do so BEFORE we talk to them long enough to see what they're all about. They judge US and we judge THEM. This happens quickly, automatically and subconsciously. We can't NOT do this. But here's the cool part. Just by noticing this about yourself, you'll send a completely different non-verbal message. You'll project a much stronger, non-verbal frame strength. And that's just the beginning. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  8. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Apr12Post.mp4 You'll find feedback loops everywhere. Most of them are hard to predict. More of a general structure. The bigger the system is, the harder it is to predict. Like weather patterns, for example. A huge system with inter-dependent variables. One gigantic feedback system. Impossible to predict. This is why they can only give percentages when talking about rain. But from inside your own head? It's easy. Since you don't NEED to predict anything. You just need to have a direction. Not even a clear destination, only a direction. For example, imagine you have a phone sales job. You call warm leads, and try to sell them a product. There is no possible way you can possibly know BEFOREHAND what particular strategies will work, and which won't. But so long as you a DIRECTIONAL goal, each interaction will help you get there. For phone sales, the directional goal would be more conversations. 1% one week. 2% the next week. 4% the next week. This is, in a nutshell, the reason why HUMANS took over the planet. We had a CONSCIOUS idea of what we wanted. More food, more safety, more sex. And as we kept trying to get those things, we developed a long memory. A memory of what worked, and a memory of what didn't. One way to look at our self awareness is as a SELF COACHING system. A way to keep practicing until you develop new skills to the point of unconscious competence. Or NEW instincts. So long as you spend just a little bit of time practicing every day, you'll continue to get better. Nowadays, people have a LOT of downtime. Most of them are spending it watching Netflix or whatever else is on TV. But what happens if you spend just a LITTLE bit of time increasing your skills? Or learning new skills? Another reason why have such big brains is that's essentially what we did. Back in the old days when all we had was stories to tell, to listen to, or stare into the fire. What did we do when we stared into the fire? We kept playing and re-playing the previous events over and over and over. Thinking of ways we COULD have done things differently. Trying to use our fast growing brains to IMAGINE doing things differently. Of mentally practicing those things until we woke up the next day, and got back in the game. Those that were the MOST successful at this ended up conquering the entire earth. Today is no different. Learn skills. Practice skills. Mentally rehearse for when you get back in the game. And CONQUER the Earth. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
  9. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Mar20Post.mp4 Most things are best understood as a numbers game. You talk to 10 girls you might get a couple numbers. You send out a few dozen resumes, and you might get a couple calls. You stand in the batting cages and you might really connect with one out of three or four pitches. This CAN be discouraging. Especially if you focus on every single swing, or approach, or phone call. But the longer you can stretch out your perception, the easier it seems. Especially if you understand from the beginning that it's just a numbers game. Even more so if you are slowly improving. One of the oldest jokes in the entertainment business is the guy walking down the street in New York. He asks a local how to get to Carnegie Hall. The local says, "practice." If you want to get ANYWHERE, you need to practice. On one hand, this kind of sucks. Especially in modern times when everybody is not only entitled but insanely impatient. We want what we want, and we want it NOW. On the other hand, once you get into a routine, you'll ALWAYS be getting some. Getting what? Getting better. When you don't have something but you want something, it can create a paradox of never ending frustration. You want it, you want it NOW, but you don't know HOW you'll get it. This is maddening to say the least. But when you start taking small, tiny, daily steps toward what you want, something pretty cool will happen. In a week or so, you'll look behind you and see how far you've come. You'll look out ahead of you and you'll KNOW how far you'll be going. You'll get rid of that "now-frustration" that is never ending. And replace it with continuous feeling of forward momentum. This means you'll KNOW where you are going. You'll feel it. It will start to change how you feel, what you think, how you speak and behave, and how people perceive you. A "now-frustrated" person is very UN-attractive. Nobody wants to hang around somebody who wants things, wants them now, but doesn't know HOW to get them. This is like hanging around a baby who is constantly screaming. On the other hand, when you develop consistent forward momentum, that is much more attractive. People will you see you, and they IMMEDIATELY notice that you are different than most. They won't see somebody who is dependent on others. They won't see somebody who is frustrated and stuck. They'll see somebody who is going places. Which places? Whichever direction you choose. Transforming your life, and everybody around you. One easy step at a time. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  10. Cooking Cult https://mindpersuasion.com/cooking-cult/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Mar19Loop.mp4
  11. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb24Post.mp4 When I was in Boy Scouts, many, many years ago, we'd go on these weeklong backpacking trips once a year. We would each be assigned something to carry for the group. Stoves, food, tents, etc. But we'd also be assigned things for ourselves. Waterproof match containers, compass, first aid kid, etc. We each had a list we'd have to check off before we were allowed to leave. This a useful training exercise. To take a bunch of kids up in the hills for a week. And to train them to check and carry their own stuff. This idea, of a pre-flight checklist is useful in plenty of areas. For example, guys who date more that one lady at a time will have a pre-flight check list of sorts to get their place ready. If a girl comes over and sees evidence of ANOTHER girl, that's not going to go over well. It's a deep instinct to prepare before doing important things. On the flip side, it's good to relax and go with the flow. Going with the flow is good when you're with friends, or if you don't any specific outcome. Where the experience itself is more important than the end. Like going shopping not to buy something specific, but just to kill time while looking in all the windows. Another powerful way "going with the flow" works is ON TOP of intense preparation. For example, when a boxer steps into the ring, he goes with the flow. He doesn't have a specific set of punches in his brain. What he does is based on what the other guy does. One of the most coveted states of human nature is the "flow" state. When you are operating at such high levels of performance AND your conscious mind takes a back seat. Usually this is when there is some kind of competition, like sports. Competitions necessarily involved an unfolding of completely UNEXPECTED events. Events that you must respond to IN THE MOMENT. Most of us are in the "flow state" when we are hanging out with friends. When it's NOT a competition. Not really a flow state, but an unconscious, natural state. However, when we humans talk to strangers, this flow state is very difficult. Since we never know WHAT, specifically, they are going to say. So we are naturally on edge, which keeps us OUT of that flow state of mind. But just like boxing, and other competitions, you CAN reach the flow state. When wonderful words flow without conscious thought. When you don't need to worry AT ALL about "what," specifically to say. When all the words, phrases, gestures and communication that moves organically from your brain to theirs is perfect. Natural, attractive, seductive, mesmerizing. How can you develop this conversational flow state? By practicing the STRUCTURE of language. Which is also the STRUCTURE of thought. And when you can reach this wonderful flow state, AT WILL, with anybody, the world will be yours for the taking. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  12. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug27Post.mp4 In banking, they have something called "duration mismatch." When people make deposits, they can take them out at any time. These are called "demand deposits." But when banks lend out money, then lend the money for longer, fixed periods. Which means that on one side, they have, say $1,000,000 in deposits. These are deposits that could, theoretically, be withdrawn at any time. But that same money is lent out, but in fixed terms. Car loans, house loans, etc. These are for much longer periods. Theoretically, if EVERYBODY came to take out their money at once, their would be a big problem. According to the rules, the depositors could take out their money at any time. But the people who borrowed that same money have 5-30 years to pay it back. The duration of the depositors is day to day. The duration of the borrowers is long term. Hence the term, "duration mismatch." Humans have a lot of problems that are based on an idea of "mismatch." For example, if you were to practice an instrument, you would know, without even needing to think, that it would take a while. On the other hand the self-help industry is FILLED with ideas of "instant" this and "instant" that. But consider that EVERTYHING is best seen as a skill. And all skills take time. And most skills have ZERO upper limit. Meaning the more you practice, the better you get. People are drawn to "one weird trick" ideas in things like health, social skills, and money. One because we all WANT those things. We all WANT improvements in those areas. And we want them sooner, rather than later. But more importantly, the idea of the PROCESS of going where we are NOW to where we WANT to be is assumed to be PAINFUL. Getting into better shape is painful. Practicing social skills is painful. Practicing money skills is painful. But that's only because the alternative to the "one weird trick" idea, (which we all kind of know is a con anyway) is the "suck it up and do it" idea. Like ripping off a band aid. Or setting a compound fracture. But this is an unhelpful way of looking at things. A much more resourceful way is to think in terms of SLOW growth. Very, very slow. So slow it seems normal. So slow it's VERY easy. So slow it's NOT painful. And since these are skills with NO upper limit, even if you go REALLY slow, you'll still make daily progress. For the rest of your life. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  13. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug25Post.mp4 For some things, practicing is easy. Very, very boring, but easy. Playing the guitar for example. Many people would LIKE to be able to play. But few people do. The reason is pretty simple. We humans won't do anything unless we believe the benefits will be greater than the costs. You might imagine being to hang out somewhere, strum a few chords and get plenty of positive attention. That imagination would be the benefits. And so long as the costs were vague, it would be a fairly strong desire. But when you actually practice, it's boring and frustrating. Pretty soon you start to get a much more accurate picture of the costs. Eventually, the costs will seem GREATER than the benefits. And you stop. This is normal, and VERY rational. Nobody would ever do something where the benefits are NOT clearly greater than the costs. It's got nothing to do with willpower. In fact, willpower is a non-existing metaphor. It's always and only a matter of costs and benefits. If you believe the costs will be greater than the benefits, no amount of willpower will be enough. If you believe the benefits are greater than the costs, then no amount of willpower is necessary. There ARE, however a couple of ways to make the costs LESS and the benefits more. One is to spend more time VISUALIZING the benefits. Spending time journaling all the ways the benefits can manifest. Sticking to the guitar example, if you spent fifteen minutes per day actually practicing, and fifteen minutes per day journaling all the different benefits, this would be much EASIER to sustain. So long as the costs, as you experience them NOW are smaller than the benefits, as you experience them NOW, any skill building will be easy. Especially of the skills come with plenty of built in, INSTINCTIVE benefits. Playing the guitar is close, but there are a lot of variables. A much better and more valuable skill is general social confidence. This comes with TONS of built in benefits. Friendship, romance, business, pretty much anything. Since ANYTHING you want in life will generally involve other people. So building up your people skills, and your people confidence will lead to TONS of benefits. But the same rules apply. Costs and benefits. So long as you keep the costs low, and the benefits high, it will be easy. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  14. How To Improve Intuition: https://mindpersuasion.com/benefits-of-delayed-gratification/ https://soundcloud.com/mindpersuasion/how-to-improve-your-intuition https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July20Loop.mp4
  15. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July6Post.mp4 One way to think about sales is pure numbers. You can certainly increase your success by learning techniques. You can definitely increase your success by studying your mistakes, and the stuff that worked. It's kind of a "fantasy desire" to get 100% success, but this is impossible. So ultimately, it WILL boil down to numbers. If you talk to ten people, you'll make three sales, for example. Once that gives you a decent daily income, then you start to increase other things. Like how QUICKLY you can disqualify those 7 people who aren't interested. Everything in life can be seen through this lens. Of a numbers game. Once you accept this, and once you accept your level, then it's a matter of becoming more efficient. Of getting the SAME results with less effort. Many people don't like to fail. They try something, and it doesn't pan out. But you can significantly DECREASE the "pain" of failure. The MORE you put all your HOPES on the success of that one thing, the more it will hurt IF you fail. The more you see that one "thing" as one thing among many, the LESS the outcome will matter. This is a LONG GAME strategy. To see EVERYTHING through two lenses. A short term, in the moment lens. And a long term, part of a long term strategy lens. That way, no matter WHAT happens, you'll gain something. Even if you fail, you will still INCREASE your skills. We all have this basic strategy built into our brain. Trial and error. Or trial and feedback. The idea that "there's no such thing as failure, only feedback," is a clever saying. And it's a very OLD clever saying. The trick is not only understand that intellectually. The real task is to understand that emotionally and subconsciously. For some things, that's easy. Learning to play a new video game. Learning to make something from a recipe. These things have a built in acceptance of "trial and error." The things with that build in acceptance we don't even call trial and error. We call it PRACTICE. The real trick is how to see MORE STUFF through this lens of practice. Just the word, "practice," has built in the idea of long game strategy. Turns out there are plenty of ways to slowly TRAIN in the ability to feel, not just know, this practice with many more things. Particularly social skill and financial skills. Because once you subconsciously can practice these just like you can practice video games, then ALL PARTS of life are fun and exciting. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  16. If you decided to sell hamburger for a living, you'd open a restaurant. If you wanted to fix engines, you'd open an auto shop. If you wanted to clean houses, you'd have a cleaning business. But if you're a doctor, you'd have a "practice." Why do they call it a practice? Because every patient is unique. Fixing a human is infinitely more complicated than fixing an engine. Imagine taking your car in to get the engine fixed. And imagine the mechanic looked at it, scratched his head and said: "Wow, I've never seen anything like this. I'll need to check with my colleagues and figure out what the problem might be." Most of us would take it to another shop. But with doctors, this is expected. Every single patient is more experience. More experience that they'll be able to use on the next patient. This is one of the reasons why Milton Erickson was such a brilliant hypnotist. He talked to people for years. And he kept seeing the basic same problems over and over. From a structural level, this is very much like a salesperson who gets better and better over time. Coming up with better ways to overcome objections. Coming up with better ways to highlight the benefits of the products. You can also do this with people you've never met before. On one hand, every single person you meet will be unique. But at the same time, they will have the exact same set of instincts that every other human has. And when you can move those instincts with your communication, you will have a lot of interpersonal power. How do you do this? By telling simple stories. Not, "Once upon a time..." stories. But, "That's like this friend I got..." kind of stories. And with these stories, targeting their instincts, you can move their emotions. Away from bad places, and towards good places. This means everybody you talk to will put you in a category all on your own. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
  17. Everybody has a unique balance with respect to social comfort. Everybody has a point beyond which they'll start to feel social anxiety. Everybody has a point up to which they'll be more outgoing. When we are around friends, this balance is in one place. When we are around strangers, this balance is somewhere else. Regardless of who we are around, we tend to find our own equilibrium. Too much outgoing behavior will get us TOO MUCH attention, and cause us to pull back. Not enough will motivate us to speak up, and push out a bit. Both of these involve the idea of social attention. When we WANT more social attention, we push our social energy OUT. When we are getting TOO MUCH social attention, we pull our social energy BACK. But there is a way to push out as much as you want and NOT get any social attention. Most of the time, when we talk, people look at us. And the stuff we talk about is about us somehow. Something that happened to us. Something we have a strong opinion. So naturally, when we talk about these things, people focus on us. But you can speak about things that are metaphorically off to the side. The longer we speak, the more they'll be focused NOT on us, but on the stories we are telling. Once you realize how easy this is, you can start to put some very, very persuasive ideas within the stories. So persuasive you can get people to do anything you want. And since they are paying attention to the stories, and not you, they won't remember you nearly as much as the stories. This is normal. This is why actors have much more name recognition that screenwriters. This is why characters in movies have much more name recognition than directors. Listening to stories is a very pleasant, and very instinctive process. So once you start speaking in "story language," you can metaphorically step aside. They'll be paying attention to the stories, and not you. This will let you get as crazy as you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
  18. Our language, and our world, is more filled with metaphors than we realize. Problems happen when we mistake metaphor for reality. So long as we are using metaphors to talk ABOUT something, they're fine. But if we are trying to use metaphors as guiding principles, that's when we run into trouble. The red car idea is a common way to describe our filters. How we separate the important stuff from all the noise. For example, somebody doesn't notice all the red cars. Then they buy a red car. Then they suddenly notice all the red cars. Before, they didn't think red cars were important, so their subconscious filtered them out. Once they bought one, red cars became important. Their subconscious filters were re-calibrated. But it would be a mistake to think that their subconscious CREATED the red cars. This is why sometimes when we visualize on things we want, we can see evidence. But sometimes we can't. The difference is NOT the strength of our visualizations. The difference is some things are ALREADY THERE around us. Only when we start to visualize them, see SEE them. We SEE what is already there. To imagine you can use your brain to make things MAGICALLY appear is a mistake. This is an example of MIS-UNDERSTANDING the metaphor. Because this metaphor can also be used to "describe" the law of attraction. But the word, "attraction," is not TECHNICALLY correct. Because you are not ATTRACTING anything. Your mind cannot LITERALLY pull objects from space. Another problem happens when metaphors are about processes. Specifically learning processes. For example, you see a cute girl across the room. Somebody says, "Just go up to her and be yourself." What, EXACTLY, does that mean, "be yourself"? How can you ever NOT be yourself? Is it even an option to NOT be yourself? Like transform into Iron Man or something? When one human wants to communicate a PROCESS to another person, it MUST be done metaphorically. Then it's up to the receiver, to take that metaphor and apply their OWN trial and error learning to MAKE SENSE of that metaphor. So you might hear the advice to "be yourself." Then you try a different versions of "being yourself." Until you figure out what the means, from your own SUBJECTIVE viewpoint. Then when you achieve success by "being yourself," you can now give that same advice to somebody else. This is how ALL learning must happen. First with a metaphorical description. Then when trial and error experience to DEFINE that metaphorical description for yourself. But there is one HUGE barrier to this simple process. And that is the collection of limiting beliefs we all carry around with us. But once you GET RID OF these negative beliefs, learning ANYTHING will be simple. Metaphor. Practice. Skill. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  19. Imagine learning something easy, like juggling. Juggling is a common thing to learn in many self-development seminars. It's kind of "proof" that you can learn something new. It's difficult enough so that when you CAN juggle, you get kind of an excited feeling. That, "I never thought I'd be able to do this feeling." But it's also easy enough to learn in an hour or so. So long as you practice with enough focus. Even better is if you can get up and perform in front of the other seminar attendees. This gives you an "experience" of not only learning a skill you didn't have before, but being able to PERFORM that skill in front of others. Of course, if you wanted to make a living as a juggler, you'd have to have some VERY impressive skills. Which would take a LOT of practice. You'd have to pretty much practice for several hours a day. Nobody really thinks they COULDN'T do this. Most people look at juggling as something that pretty much ANYBODY could learn, given enough time. This is why it's a convenient way to "prove" you can "do" anything. But consider this added bit of complexity. Suppose somebody gave you an offer. One you could either ACCEPT or REFUSE. The offer was this: You have one week to learn to juggle three eggs. If you can juggle three eggs for one minute, WIHTOUT dropping them, you'd get a million dollars. BUT if you dropped any of the eggs, they would torture you to death. Would you accept this offer? Success would mean a million dollars. Failure would mean a slow and painful death. Most rational people would not. Having that FEAR in your brain would make it TERRIFYING to practice. And even if you COULD perform during practice, when it came time for the actual test, you'd be WAY too nervous. Unfortunately, most of the stuff we WANT to learn how to do is much more complicated than juggling a few bean bags in a seminar. Most involve interacting with other people. Which means it involves our deep and very IRRATIONAL fears. So we feel that even though success would be AWESOME, failure would be very much like death. We don't RATIONALLY believe we'll die. But subconsciously we sure do. This is why most people would RATHER die than speak in public. The truth is that between where you are NOW, and the things you want, lies a seemingly HUGE chasm. What is it that you want? If you're like most normal humans, it involves money, sex, relationships, and other pleasant social situations. The actual skills you need a pretty easy. Easier than juggling. But the IRRATIONAL fear must be taken care of. How can you do that? Learn Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/beliefchange/
  20. Having the wrong metaphor can ruin everything. Most everything we perceive is done through metaphors. Our brains have only evolved to really make sense of macro physics. Apples falling from trees, etc. But our brains are also capable of creating and interpreting hallucinations as if they are real. This is how we come up with mythology and other incredible stories. All from looking up at the sky and imagining that the stars are people. As soon as we imagine they are people, we start making up stories about how they interact. Used "correctly" these stories can inspire us and motivate us. Used "incorrectly" we might not stay alive very long. For example, if ALL you did was beseech the gods for healthy crops, you'd die. On the other hand, if you beseeched the gods AND did the job of tilling the soil, planting the seeds, and doing the daily work of making sure everything grew correctly, you'd have a much better chance. The first case would be an OVER-DEPENDENCE on a metaphor. The second case is when you use the metaphor as MOTIVATION or INSPIRATION, but not in place of doing the actual work necessary. We have a lot of metaphors in our daily lives. One of the most dangerous one is to think in terms of perfection. Or to have an objection that is TOO HIGH compared to our level of skills. For example, if you'd been practicing the piano for a couple of weeks, it would be a huge mistake to think you were ready to perform. But this is something we do all the time. We READ something, and think that reading about something is the same as PRACTICING that same thing. For some reason, we think that reading is the same as practicing certain skills. Mostly social skills. We read a book, or have an idea about what we want conversationally. But then we go out and fall on our faces. We are frustrated, but ONLY because we had expectations that were ABOVE our level of skill. If you have your expectations in congruence with your skills, you won't be frustrated. Things like social skills are ALWAYS in progress. Every single person you talk to is going to be a completely NEW experience. An UNEXPECTED experience, since you don't know them. So having an expectation based on a completely unknown situation is illogical. It's much better to dial back your expectations. And see every communication as ENJOYABLE practice. That way you'll eliminate frustration, and keep getting better. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  21. The body comes with a lot of systems that compliment one another. For example, there is part of our system that excites us, and gets us ready for action. And there is an equal and opposite part that calms us down, and gets us ready to relax and recharge. Very much like night and day. Two seemingly opposite sides of the same system. When you eat, it's common to become sleepy. It's kind of a shift from being outwardly focused and excited, to inwardly focused and relaxed. We can imagine how it might have helped our ancient ancestors. When they were hungry, this spurred them to action. To go looking for food. Once they had found food and had eaten, they got sleepy, so their bodies could digest the food. You'll find these sympathetic systems everywhere. A lot of half to do with what we think and how we think. For example, a common sticking point for having relaxing conversations is not knowing what to say. At its extreme, it KEEPS US from even starting a conversation. But it also pops up in the middle. Unexpectedly. You could be having a friendly conversation and then out of nowhere, your brain freezes. Those uncomfortable and awkward silences can RUIN an otherwise decent conversation. Luckily, there's a relatively easy solution. And that is to TRAIN your brain to think laterally. Meaning you can do some simple exercises to practice the "art" of thinking of tangential topics. That way you can keep conversations going a LONG time. The truth is there is TONS of information ALREADY in your brain. And unless you are having a conversation in a Soviet Prison with gray concrete walls, there are TONS of things going on around you. So you've got tons of info OUTSIDE your brain, and you've got tons of info INSIDE your brain. All you've got to do is practice making connections. This exercise is very much like physical exercise. You won't get much benefit if you only do it once or twice. But it only takes a few minutes. And if you get into the habit of doing it DAILY, you'll soon be a conversational powerhouse. This ONE exercise can build up the brain skills to use the EXISTING information in your brain, and become a conversational POWERHOUSE. Even if you suffer some social anxiety, this will soon overcome that. Once you have plenty of stuff to talk about, that KEEPS COMING without you needing to think, this data itself will overwhelm any anxiety you have. This will make your ideas seem so big, they almost get out of your head on their own. Overpowering any social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  22. Very often, something that feels good in the short term can add up to long term pain. It feels good to sleep in every day, and it sucks to get up at the crack of dawn. But it's easy to imagine how sleeping in EVERY DAY can slowly destroy your productivity. While on the other hand, getting up at the crack of dawn will tend to INCREASE your productivity. Similarly, food that tastes REALLY GOOD tends to add up. The better it tastes, and the quicker it tastes better, the worse it generally is for you. On the other hand, food that is healthy tends to be things you have to acquire a taste for. Or at least acquire a habit of eating. Doing physical labor, or exercise, isn't inherently pleasurable. Only by slowly associating the benefits that come with exercise make it pleasurable. But even then it's not nearly as "enjoyable" as relaxing, or getting a nice massage. This is easy to see when the pleasure is physical. Sleeping late, eating fast food, getting massages. All feel fantastic, and all will have negative impacts on health if that's ALL you do. But mentally pleasurable things are JUST as dangerous. It turns out that in terms of calories per gram, our brain is our most expensive organ. Thinking literally is hard work. Watching TV is easier than studying calculus. But just like jumping from the couch to the weight machine CAN BE dangerous, so can switching your mental skills. If you were 500 pounds overweight, and you wanted to get in shape, you would naturally ease into it. Because if you didn't, you would FEEL IT. There would be a real and present danger of doing too much too soon. I had a roommate once that tried that. Decided he was going to go down to the track and do some sprints. Unfortunately he hadn't worked out in years. After only ONE DAY of sprints, he could barely walk. Messed up BOTH knees. If you jump from the TV to the calculus book, you can do similar damage. You won't exactly break your brain, but it won't be pleasant. And unfortunately, EVERY SINGLE TIME you try something like that, you'll build an association. That doing mental work is hard and painful. On the other hand, if you go VERY SLOWLY, it's much easier. AND you have a much better chance of building the OPPOSITE associations. That doing mentally strenuous work is pleasurable. Just like exercising is for those who do it habitually. It takes while to ease your brain into this. But imagine the things you could do once you train your brain that doing mentally difficult things is enjoyable. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  23. Being able to deliberately hallucinate is a great skill. So long as you don’t start to believe in the hallucination. For example, way back when I was in JHS, me and my buddies would play golf. There was a nine hole course next to our school, and it was cheap. Only about $5 for a round. We all had hand-me-down clubs. One particular hole always gave me trouble. Because you had to hit it over the water onto the green. Because I knew the water was there, it made me nervous, and I always hit the ball into the water. Until one day my friend gave me some advice. He told me to pretend the water was really grass. When I did, I didn’t have any issues. It was a very useful hallucination. But if I actually started to believe it, it would have been a problem. Because I would have actually tried to walk across the water as if it were grass. And since the water was actually part of a condemned lagoon, with big signs that said “no swimming,” I probably would have got some messed up lagoon disease. The ability to turn on and turn off hallucinations is very powerful. These temporary hallucinations can be used to either reduce anxiety or increase motivation. So long as you can consciously manage them, they are very useful. One thing they AREN’T is “auto pilot.” Unfortunately, we humans are very attracted to any “auto pilot” idea. As if we can think of something only once, and expect a sudden and permanent change. This is why most self-help programs don’t work. People have the silly idea that simply by passively reading a book, their brains will somehow switch on their own. This is why people find the idea of hypnosis so compelling. It allows them the imagine they can relax, and some other “THING” will do the changes for them. Hypnosis IS a powerful tool. But it is a tool. And tools don’t operate on their own. You could have the best set of tools in the world. And set them next to a pile of perfectly cut lumber. But unless you actively USE the tools, that house ain’t gonna build itself. This is the great paradox of most self-help techniques. The tools ARE powerful. But if they just sit there, the are equally useless. Which means you probably have enough tools in your brain. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to use them. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  24. Once I was on this backpacking trip. We were going up over the first pass. If you’ve never been on a multi-day backpacking trip, the first day is always the hardest. You drive up as high as you can and park. Then you walk up and over a pretty high mountain range. Once you get on the other side of that first mountain range, that’s when the fun starts. You more or less walk flat (at least compared to the first day). Huge valleys, no people, meadows, streams, lakes filled with trout, wild animals, etc. It’s all very much worth the first day. And on this particular day, we were going over switchbacks. These long zig-zags that slowly go up to a high mountain pass. On this particular hike, there were a LOT of switchbacks. Going back and forth, slowly upward, for several hours. And each switchback was long. So long that when you got to the end, you couldn’t tell if you were at the top or not. It was VERY EASY to convince yourself you were at the top. You could see the trail going up, and then only blue sky. The closer you got, the more you started to convince yourself that you were almost there. But then you’d get to the end, and you’d have to turn and go up another LONG leg up the side of the mountain. Physical and mental torture all at once. Almost there, almost there, almost there, aw crap! Over and over and over. This how many things in life seem. You’ll be pursuing a goal. So much you’ve got tunnel vision. So much you start to think that once you complete this goal, you’ll be on easy street. Unfortunately, it ain’t like that. Not one bit. Paradoxically, the MORE you convince yourself that the next goal is going to be the culmination of your life, the more motivated you’ll be to get it. But once you get it, and see it’s true context, it CAN be a let down. This paradox is hard to accept. That from the vantage point of the VERY END of your life, they’ll be TONS of stepping stones into your future. But BEFORE you achieve each of those individual stepping stones, convincing yourself THAT is going to be THE ONE is the best way to get motivated. That’s just the way it is. The easiest way to shift from that “aw crap” moment is to just keep on huffing it toward your next milestone. This plays out in many areas. Your financial life, your love life, your career life, your spiritual life, your health. But the MORE of those milestones you achieve, the easier it is to maintain your momentum. And you can start, or re-start, from WHEREVER you are. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  25. There’s an interesting theory from classical physics. Chaos theory. It basically says that while the laws of (classical) physics are deterministic, we can’t really predict very far into the future. An example is a two body problem vs. a three body problem. Two bodies is two simple masses in space orbiting around each other. Only those two, nothing else. With only those two, and the laws of gravity, you could take a snapshot at any given time, and using only their starting position, predict what they would look like WAY into the future. But with three bodies, this is impossible. Two bodies means only TWO interdependent variables. The movement of ONE is dependent on the movement of the other. And that other is dependent on the first. But with only two, the math is not too complicated. But add in a third object, and now you’ve got THREE inter-dependent variables. Which makes it impossible to predict what they’d be like. The laws of physics still work. It’s just the math is theoretically TOO COMPLICATED to predict very far into the future. This idea was first discovered with weather predictions. They would take a weather model, on a very powerful computer. They could set the beginning conditions, and then let it play out for two weeks. (Two weeks of computer simulated time). Turns out that EXTREMELY tiny changes in the starting conditions made HUGE changes in only a couple weeks out. This is where they get the idea of the “butterfly effect.” A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, and causes a hurricane in Texas two months later. This is why they will NEVER be able to predict the weather very accurately. It’s got nothing to do with the accuracy of the equipment. And EVERYTHING to do with the theoretical and mathematical limitations. Now, a weather system has only a few interdependent variables. Wind speed, temperature, humidity, etc. But what about human nature? How many interdependent variables are there in a lifetime? In a few years? Even few weeks? If predicting the weather a couple weeks out is impossible, how the heck can we predict our lives? This is FANTASTIC news. Because no matter WHAT you are doing now, ANYTHING can potentially happen in your future. With one VERY IMPORTANT restriction. You must accept that YOUR future MUST be created by YOU. NO magic from external entities. No winning the lottery. Only YOUR BEHAVIORS. But when you combine the idea of chaos theory, with daily consistent behaviors, ANY FUTURE is possible. What daily behaviors? These: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
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