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  1. Having the wrong metaphor can ruin everything. Most everything we perceive is done through metaphors. Our brains have only evolved to really make sense of macro physics. Apples falling from trees, etc. But our brains are also capable of creating and interpreting hallucinations as if they are real. This is how we come up with mythology and other incredible stories. All from looking up at the sky and imagining that the stars are people. As soon as we imagine they are people, we start making up stories about how they interact. Used "correctly" these stories can inspire us and motivate us. Used "incorrectly" we might not stay alive very long. For example, if ALL you did was beseech the gods for healthy crops, you'd die. On the other hand, if you beseeched the gods AND did the job of tilling the soil, planting the seeds, and doing the daily work of making sure everything grew correctly, you'd have a much better chance. The first case would be an OVER-DEPENDENCE on a metaphor. The second case is when you use the metaphor as MOTIVATION or INSPIRATION, but not in place of doing the actual work necessary. We have a lot of metaphors in our daily lives. One of the most dangerous one is to think in terms of perfection. Or to have an objection that is TOO HIGH compared to our level of skills. For example, if you'd been practicing the piano for a couple of weeks, it would be a huge mistake to think you were ready to perform. But this is something we do all the time. We READ something, and think that reading about something is the same as PRACTICING that same thing. For some reason, we think that reading is the same as practicing certain skills. Mostly social skills. We read a book, or have an idea about what we want conversationally. But then we go out and fall on our faces. We are frustrated, but ONLY because we had expectations that were ABOVE our level of skill. If you have your expectations in congruence with your skills, you won't be frustrated. Things like social skills are ALWAYS in progress. Every single person you talk to is going to be a completely NEW experience. An UNEXPECTED experience, since you don't know them. So having an expectation based on a completely unknown situation is illogical. It's much better to dial back your expectations. And see every communication as ENJOYABLE practice. That way you'll eliminate frustration, and keep getting better. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  2. The body comes with a lot of systems that compliment one another. For example, there is part of our system that excites us, and gets us ready for action. And there is an equal and opposite part that calms us down, and gets us ready to relax and recharge. Very much like night and day. Two seemingly opposite sides of the same system. When you eat, it's common to become sleepy. It's kind of a shift from being outwardly focused and excited, to inwardly focused and relaxed. We can imagine how it might have helped our ancient ancestors. When they were hungry, this spurred them to action. To go looking for food. Once they had found food and had eaten, they got sleepy, so their bodies could digest the food. You'll find these sympathetic systems everywhere. A lot of half to do with what we think and how we think. For example, a common sticking point for having relaxing conversations is not knowing what to say. At its extreme, it KEEPS US from even starting a conversation. But it also pops up in the middle. Unexpectedly. You could be having a friendly conversation and then out of nowhere, your brain freezes. Those uncomfortable and awkward silences can RUIN an otherwise decent conversation. Luckily, there's a relatively easy solution. And that is to TRAIN your brain to think laterally. Meaning you can do some simple exercises to practice the "art" of thinking of tangential topics. That way you can keep conversations going a LONG time. The truth is there is TONS of information ALREADY in your brain. And unless you are having a conversation in a Soviet Prison with gray concrete walls, there are TONS of things going on around you. So you've got tons of info OUTSIDE your brain, and you've got tons of info INSIDE your brain. All you've got to do is practice making connections. This exercise is very much like physical exercise. You won't get much benefit if you only do it once or twice. But it only takes a few minutes. And if you get into the habit of doing it DAILY, you'll soon be a conversational powerhouse. This ONE exercise can build up the brain skills to use the EXISTING information in your brain, and become a conversational POWERHOUSE. Even if you suffer some social anxiety, this will soon overcome that. Once you have plenty of stuff to talk about, that KEEPS COMING without you needing to think, this data itself will overwhelm any anxiety you have. This will make your ideas seem so big, they almost get out of your head on their own. Overpowering any social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  3. Very often, something that feels good in the short term can add up to long term pain. It feels good to sleep in every day, and it sucks to get up at the crack of dawn. But it's easy to imagine how sleeping in EVERY DAY can slowly destroy your productivity. While on the other hand, getting up at the crack of dawn will tend to INCREASE your productivity. Similarly, food that tastes REALLY GOOD tends to add up. The better it tastes, and the quicker it tastes better, the worse it generally is for you. On the other hand, food that is healthy tends to be things you have to acquire a taste for. Or at least acquire a habit of eating. Doing physical labor, or exercise, isn't inherently pleasurable. Only by slowly associating the benefits that come with exercise make it pleasurable. But even then it's not nearly as "enjoyable" as relaxing, or getting a nice massage. This is easy to see when the pleasure is physical. Sleeping late, eating fast food, getting massages. All feel fantastic, and all will have negative impacts on health if that's ALL you do. But mentally pleasurable things are JUST as dangerous. It turns out that in terms of calories per gram, our brain is our most expensive organ. Thinking literally is hard work. Watching TV is easier than studying calculus. But just like jumping from the couch to the weight machine CAN BE dangerous, so can switching your mental skills. If you were 500 pounds overweight, and you wanted to get in shape, you would naturally ease into it. Because if you didn't, you would FEEL IT. There would be a real and present danger of doing too much too soon. I had a roommate once that tried that. Decided he was going to go down to the track and do some sprints. Unfortunately he hadn't worked out in years. After only ONE DAY of sprints, he could barely walk. Messed up BOTH knees. If you jump from the TV to the calculus book, you can do similar damage. You won't exactly break your brain, but it won't be pleasant. And unfortunately, EVERY SINGLE TIME you try something like that, you'll build an association. That doing mental work is hard and painful. On the other hand, if you go VERY SLOWLY, it's much easier. AND you have a much better chance of building the OPPOSITE associations. That doing mentally strenuous work is pleasurable. Just like exercising is for those who do it habitually. It takes while to ease your brain into this. But imagine the things you could do once you train your brain that doing mentally difficult things is enjoyable. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  4. Being able to deliberately hallucinate is a great skill. So long as you don’t start to believe in the hallucination. For example, way back when I was in JHS, me and my buddies would play golf. There was a nine hole course next to our school, and it was cheap. Only about $5 for a round. We all had hand-me-down clubs. One particular hole always gave me trouble. Because you had to hit it over the water onto the green. Because I knew the water was there, it made me nervous, and I always hit the ball into the water. Until one day my friend gave me some advice. He told me to pretend the water was really grass. When I did, I didn’t have any issues. It was a very useful hallucination. But if I actually started to believe it, it would have been a problem. Because I would have actually tried to walk across the water as if it were grass. And since the water was actually part of a condemned lagoon, with big signs that said “no swimming,” I probably would have got some messed up lagoon disease. The ability to turn on and turn off hallucinations is very powerful. These temporary hallucinations can be used to either reduce anxiety or increase motivation. So long as you can consciously manage them, they are very useful. One thing they AREN’T is “auto pilot.” Unfortunately, we humans are very attracted to any “auto pilot” idea. As if we can think of something only once, and expect a sudden and permanent change. This is why most self-help programs don’t work. People have the silly idea that simply by passively reading a book, their brains will somehow switch on their own. This is why people find the idea of hypnosis so compelling. It allows them the imagine they can relax, and some other “THING” will do the changes for them. Hypnosis IS a powerful tool. But it is a tool. And tools don’t operate on their own. You could have the best set of tools in the world. And set them next to a pile of perfectly cut lumber. But unless you actively USE the tools, that house ain’t gonna build itself. This is the great paradox of most self-help techniques. The tools ARE powerful. But if they just sit there, the are equally useless. Which means you probably have enough tools in your brain. It’s just a matter of figuring out how to use them. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  5. Once I was on this backpacking trip. We were going up over the first pass. If you’ve never been on a multi-day backpacking trip, the first day is always the hardest. You drive up as high as you can and park. Then you walk up and over a pretty high mountain range. Once you get on the other side of that first mountain range, that’s when the fun starts. You more or less walk flat (at least compared to the first day). Huge valleys, no people, meadows, streams, lakes filled with trout, wild animals, etc. It’s all very much worth the first day. And on this particular day, we were going over switchbacks. These long zig-zags that slowly go up to a high mountain pass. On this particular hike, there were a LOT of switchbacks. Going back and forth, slowly upward, for several hours. And each switchback was long. So long that when you got to the end, you couldn’t tell if you were at the top or not. It was VERY EASY to convince yourself you were at the top. You could see the trail going up, and then only blue sky. The closer you got, the more you started to convince yourself that you were almost there. But then you’d get to the end, and you’d have to turn and go up another LONG leg up the side of the mountain. Physical and mental torture all at once. Almost there, almost there, almost there, aw crap! Over and over and over. This how many things in life seem. You’ll be pursuing a goal. So much you’ve got tunnel vision. So much you start to think that once you complete this goal, you’ll be on easy street. Unfortunately, it ain’t like that. Not one bit. Paradoxically, the MORE you convince yourself that the next goal is going to be the culmination of your life, the more motivated you’ll be to get it. But once you get it, and see it’s true context, it CAN be a let down. This paradox is hard to accept. That from the vantage point of the VERY END of your life, they’ll be TONS of stepping stones into your future. But BEFORE you achieve each of those individual stepping stones, convincing yourself THAT is going to be THE ONE is the best way to get motivated. That’s just the way it is. The easiest way to shift from that “aw crap” moment is to just keep on huffing it toward your next milestone. This plays out in many areas. Your financial life, your love life, your career life, your spiritual life, your health. But the MORE of those milestones you achieve, the easier it is to maintain your momentum. And you can start, or re-start, from WHEREVER you are. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  6. There’s an interesting theory from classical physics. Chaos theory. It basically says that while the laws of (classical) physics are deterministic, we can’t really predict very far into the future. An example is a two body problem vs. a three body problem. Two bodies is two simple masses in space orbiting around each other. Only those two, nothing else. With only those two, and the laws of gravity, you could take a snapshot at any given time, and using only their starting position, predict what they would look like WAY into the future. But with three bodies, this is impossible. Two bodies means only TWO interdependent variables. The movement of ONE is dependent on the movement of the other. And that other is dependent on the first. But with only two, the math is not too complicated. But add in a third object, and now you’ve got THREE inter-dependent variables. Which makes it impossible to predict what they’d be like. The laws of physics still work. It’s just the math is theoretically TOO COMPLICATED to predict very far into the future. This idea was first discovered with weather predictions. They would take a weather model, on a very powerful computer. They could set the beginning conditions, and then let it play out for two weeks. (Two weeks of computer simulated time). Turns out that EXTREMELY tiny changes in the starting conditions made HUGE changes in only a couple weeks out. This is where they get the idea of the “butterfly effect.” A butterfly flaps its wings in Brazil, and causes a hurricane in Texas two months later. This is why they will NEVER be able to predict the weather very accurately. It’s got nothing to do with the accuracy of the equipment. And EVERYTHING to do with the theoretical and mathematical limitations. Now, a weather system has only a few interdependent variables. Wind speed, temperature, humidity, etc. But what about human nature? How many interdependent variables are there in a lifetime? In a few years? Even few weeks? If predicting the weather a couple weeks out is impossible, how the heck can we predict our lives? This is FANTASTIC news. Because no matter WHAT you are doing now, ANYTHING can potentially happen in your future. With one VERY IMPORTANT restriction. You must accept that YOUR future MUST be created by YOU. NO magic from external entities. No winning the lottery. Only YOUR BEHAVIORS. But when you combine the idea of chaos theory, with daily consistent behaviors, ANY FUTURE is possible. What daily behaviors? These: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  7. There are plenty of metaphors about very small things having a significant impact. The plumber who knows where to tap, and gets paid a lot of money for that. The one snowflake that sets off the avalanche. The straw that breaks the camels back. Even Hemingway talked about how people go bankrupt slowly, and then all at once. All of these have a hidden idea of something slowly and continuously building below the surface. And then one “event” makes all hell break loose. But in reality, one straw can’t break a camel’s back. (unless it’s a REALLY weak camel!) One snowflake can’t cause an avalanche. And before that one plumber can walk around and know EXACTLY where to tap, he’s got to spend a lot of time studying and practicing plumbing. This CAN be a dangerous idea. For example, somebody reads a book about the law of attraction. And then they suddenly get rich. And they THINK they got rich BECAUSE of the law of attraction book. But in reality, they got rich because of the things they’d been doing for the past 10 or 15 years. They just HAPPENED to read the law of attraction at the right time. It’s kind of like the Chinese Olympic strategy. How do you win a bunch of medals in the Olympics? First, build a country with a BILLION people. Out of a BILLION people, there’s bound to be a few gold medal athletes. And of ALL the people who FINALLY find success, just by the laws of random probability, there are BOUND to be a few who JUST HAPPEN to read a book or a blog post about the law of attraction. But that doesn’t CAUSE their success any more than if the plumber had listened to a radio show about the law of attraction on his way to the job. Sure, he heard the show BEFORE he tapped the pipe in the right place. But that show didn’t CAUSE him to KNOW what pipe to tap. This is a common logical mistake. Event A happens BEFORE event B. And we assume that event A CAUSES B. Whatever B is, it’s usually caused by a TON of things. Most of which have been building for a LONG time. The REAL question, is what, specifically, ARE those things? Luckily, there are very common deep skills that underlie many specific surface structure skills. So if you get started practicing today, you will significantly INCREASE the probability of a sudden “miraculous” success. Everybody else will think that you just got lucky. But YOU’LL know the truth. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  8. If you wanted to be a world class guitarist, you’d need a lot of skills. Least of which would be guitar playing skills. You’d need business skills. You’d need stage charisma. You’d need skills of perseverance. You’d need promotional and marketing skills. Many people have the idea that they just need to be “discovered” to be famous. While that DOES happen occasionally, it’s about as likely as winning the lottery. If you look at any long term success, it will be a person that has a MASSIVE combination of skills. For example, you can find TONS of people on YouTube that are excellent guitarists. But with ONLY skills of playing guitar, YouTube is about as far as they can go. This is how most people think about success. By only looking at the surface structure. This is dangerous. Why? Because to get the skills required to become a world class anything, it would take a LOT of time. But if the surface skills were ALL you had, you’d spend plenty of years practicing ONLY to be on YouTube. That would definitely suck. It’s much easier if you flip things around. Turns out there is a collection of deeper skills that underlie ALL surface skills. Meaning no matter WHAT kind of surface skills you end up using to earn a living, having a strong set of deep skills will make it much easier. In fact, the skills you have NOW are likely enough. At least to get you going. Meaning when you start to practice these deeper skills, it will give ANY skills you have on the surface MUCH MORE power. These are easy, and you can get started today. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-skills/
  9. Imagine a high school sports team, any sport, that never practiced. Maybe they had try-outs, and the coach chose all the players. The next time they got together was on game day. Maybe the coach would email them their positions the day before. Clearly, they would get destroyed. Most teams practice 95% of the time, and spend 5% on actual game time. And if you take into account all the practice the players do individually, the ration (practice:playing) is even bigger. Imagine if you knew you had to give a piano recital. But you'd never played the piano before. And suppose you'd figure you'd watch a few videos on YouTube of people playing the piano. And the first time you actually played was when you sat down at the recital. In front of all your friends, family, and colleagues. Of course, no normal human would EVER do this unless it was some kind of prank. We KNOW that before important events, we should practice. Except we rarely do. We somehow imagine that talking to people, going on job interviews, having difficult discussions with our relationship partners is something we should just DO without EVER needing to practice. Sure, we see people in the movies practicing in front of the mirror, but even those characters only do it once or twice. Doesn't matter WHAT you are doing, the more you practice, the easier it will be. Most people would never consider going on practice job interviews. But why not? Suppose you were graduating college in a couple years. Why not make up a name and a resume and apply for as many jobs as you can? Then practice seeing how far you can BS your way through? By the time the REAL interviews came around, they'd be easy. Suppose you wanted to ask out a certain person. Why not practice asking out a whole bunch of other people before? The cool thing about practicing is you can do it in your mind. Not only is it easy, free and private, but you can do ALL KINDS of scenarios. For example, if you were going on a job interview, why not take an hour or two and write out your MOST FEARED questions? Then practice answering them. If you practiced your most feared questions for a week, then the regular interview would be a piece of cake. Once you get used to the idea of practicing inside your head, the world becomes a pretty fun and exciting place to be. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/nlp/
  10. Controlling your own thoughts is a very useful skill. But it's not something most people believe is a skill. Most people recognize that their thoughts are prone to drift on their own, sometimes creating unwanted emotions feelings. Especially when they are contemplating an action with a potential beneficial outcome. Left unchecked, thoughts will drift toward the worst possible outcome. People are left wondering why they can't do what seems easy, but impossible at the same time. The answer lies in building up the ability to control your thoughts. It's better thought of as a muscle than a trick. If you'd never done pushups before, watching some gym coach crank out a couple hundred wouldn't help you. You would have to time the time to practice. First day you'd do a couple. Couple days later you'd do a couple more. We all know this instinctively. Nobody thinks that they could NEVER do more than a couple pushups. All humans realize muscles can be increased with practice. But thinking skills are thought of like "once and done" tricks that we just need to learn once. But if you treat your thoughts like doing pushups, you'll soon be able to hold any thought in mind, in any situation. What would this give you? Imagine being somewhere where you needed massive confidence. Job interview, asking out a pretty girl, giving an important speech. And imagine having such mental strength that you could hold onto confident thought with considerably more strength any negative thoughts fighting for your attention. Speeches would be easy, and fun. Talking to strangers would be enjoyable, and exciting. Going on job interviews would be fantastic, because YOU would be qualifying THEM. But this isn't magic. This isn't about learning any "weird trick." This takes just as much time, and dedication, as going from two pushups to two hundred pushups. But with just a couple minutes a day, it's straightforward. And being able to control your thinking will give you many, many more benefits than doing a couple hundred pushups. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/nlp/
  11. When I was a kid I broke my arm on a backpacking trip. We were two days in, so I had to walk all the way back out. The adult who walked with me had to dump most of his stuff. And then take me back to the trail head parking lot, find a way to get me to the hospital, and then go back and catch up to everybody else. It was a long ordeal. But I didn't have any choice. It's amazing what humans can do when we are put into a situation where we have no choice. One common myth we tell ourselves is that we'll "rise to the occasion." Meaning when something is really "important," we'll step up and get it done. But unless we absolutely MUST "get it done," then we'll pretend it's really not something we want. For example, plenty of guys tell themselves if they actually saw a girl that was "worth talking to" they would "rise to the occasion" and walk over there and start a conversation. Unfortunately, our fears are VERY EFFECTIVE at hiding from us. So instead of actually "rising to the occasion," we pretend that she's NOT really worthy to talk about. Talk to any guy who gets less success than he wants (on the dating market) and chances are he'll blame the market, and not his lack of confidence. There seems to be only two ways to address this. Admit you're terrified, go over there and talk to her anyway. OR, pretend that she's "low quality" and she's not worth your time. Most guys automatically take number two. But there is a third path. One that requires a lot more time, and consistent practice, but is much less scary and requires much less self-deception. And that is to slowly make it EASY to talk to people. To convince yourself that you can ONLY judge high or low "quality" after you talk to them. After all, talking to people is a skill. If you ONLY choose to talk to people who you subjectively label as "high quality" you'll be severely limited. Once you train your mind to EASILY talk to anybody, just to see what they're all about, plenty of doors will begin to open. And it all starts in your mind. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/nlp/
  12. There's a saying in horse racing. "You can beat the race, but you can't beat the races." Meaning you might get lucky once in a while, or you may get some inside info, but generally speaking, in the long run, you'll lose money. The more you play any legal gambling game, the more likely you'll lose. The house usually wins in the end. Otherwise, they'd go out of business. Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your perspective) women are the OPPOSITE. Meaning it's pretty easy to win with women in general. Problem is many guys have their sites set on ONE WOMAN. When a woman makes up her mind that she DOESN'T like you, it's kind of tough to turn it around. Especially when you consider the economics involved. Sure, it IS possible. But it will take a LOT of time and effort. And with that SAME time and effort, you could get a LOT more and a lot BETTER women. The problem lies with our caveman brains. Our caveman brains still think we live in a hunter-gatherer society. When we really do only have a chance with ONE woman. In those days (when you lived with the same tribe your entire life) it made PERFECT SENSE to spend your whole life chasing one girl. Today it's nearly idiotic, from a purely objective standpoint. How do you overcome that "one-itis?" You have to FORCE yourself to look for other women. To get better with other women. Because as soon as you find a woman that's into you, your caveman brain will absolutely FORGET about the previous one. The trick is to see women as things to enjoy. To get into the habit of playfully interacting with ALL the women you encounter, JUST to have fun. Then you'll start to FEEL the massive abundance that is REALLY out there. And nothing obliterates any fear or anxiety than the feeling of REALITY BASED sexual abundance. Learn How: Zero Fear Game
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