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Showing results for tags 'persuasion'.
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov04Post.mp4 One theory from evolutionary psychology is called mismatch theory. It's all about how our instincts were calibrated, way back in the day. And how they are being mis fed today. Hunger is easiest one to understand. Our mind body system was calibrated in an environment where we were always hungry. The food we could get was scarce. Both the amount and the type. Mostly meat, fat, a few fruits here and there, and whatever else we could find naturally growing. This never ending hunger motivated us to always be on the lookout for something to eat. As soon as we found something to eat, THAT became our number one priority. When you are REALLY hungry, and you start eating something, it's very hard to maintain conscious control. We have tons of instincts. These instincts helped us stay alive back when life was really dangerous. The stuff we did that KEPT us alive felt really good. Stuff that was dangerous felt really bad. Being hungry, loud noises, and negative social approval. All of these were signals that something was wrong. That something needed to be fixed. If you were to study martial arts, you could do so for many reasons. Health, confidence, even spiritual reasons. But if you ONLY wanted to know how to defend against an attacker, it wouldn't take as long. Carry some pepper spray. Practice pulling it out and spraying it in their eyes. Or practice ramming your keys in somebody's eyes. Or practice kicking somebody in the nuts, or punching them in the throat. None of these are elegant. They are only meant to disable the bad guy so you can run away. In order to do this, you need to know the soft spots. The eyes, the throat, the groin. The strategy is pretty simple. Hit them in the soft spots and run. Funny thing is even practicing these very basic defensive skills gives you plenty of confidence. It turns out we have a lot of emotional soft spots as well. Related to our very ancient social instincts. That ones that make us feel terrible when we are misbehaving socially. There are plenty of linguistic defensive skills to hit your enemies in those emotional soft spots. And just like practicing physical defense, practice linguistic defense will give plenty of confidence. Even better is when you do these mentally. While staring at your enemy. It will them a very creepy feeling. One that says it's a very BAD idea to mess with you. Ever. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/verbal-assassin/
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Mind Control Pheromones: https://mindpersuasion.com/mind-control-pheromones/ https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov04Loop.mp4
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov01Post.mp4 I was watching this discussion the other day. A couple of guys on TV were talking about the problems most people have. One guy was saying it's because we don't get enough sleep. Another guy was saying it's because we eat crap food. Another guy said it was because everybody's broke. It reminded me of a video series I was watching on differential equations. A simple example is the predator prey problem. You've got grass, which is dependent on the rain. You've got rabbits, which eat the grass. And you've got foxes, which eat the rabbits. A change in rain will change the grass, which will change the rabbits, which will change the foxes. Three of the four variables (foxes, rabbits, grass) are interdependent. Change one, and you change other three. But they are also dependent on the rain, which is a function of weather. Something that super genius humans with super powerful computers have trouble predicting. This problem, a system of three or more interdependent variables, is what led to the idea of chaos theory. Of knowing the rules, but at the same time being utterly incapable of using those same rules to predict the future. They use huge computers to simulate things like the predator-prey problem. They set the initial conditions, and predict what the system will be like in a year or so. Then they go back and change those same initial conditions, but by making as tiny changes as they can. And the result, a year out, is WAY different than the first time. This is why they can't predict the weather with very much accuracy more than a few days out. Large trends, sure. But when and where it will rain, the exact temperature? Not a chance. Now imagine how many variables there are in a large human society. Kajillions. Many of them interdependent. Many of them based on human intentions. Human intentions which change every second. You're walking down the street, in a good mood. You smile at a sexy person, and they smile back. Now you're in a fantastic mood. But what if you smile at that same pretty person, and they flip you the bird? Or spit at you? Now your mood is ruined. One interaction, out of the hundreds of interactions you have per day. Talk about chaos theory! Trying to predict what other people will do is hopeless. Even worse if your happiness is dependent on other people. All you can do is improve how you INTERACT with others. You can't change what they will do. But you most certainly can change how you can RESPOND to them. Not just a little. But a lot. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/verbal-assassin/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct28Post.mp4 Everything comes with costs. This is the unavoidable facet of economics. It's one reason why economics is called the dismal science. Everybody loves the idea of free stuff. Politicians love to promise free stuff. People love to believe we are entitled to free stuff. PT Barnum famously said there is a sucker born every minute. And that we are suckers because we are willing to believe something that is too good to be true. This is always in the form of getting something that we don't have to pay for. Not pay for with money, but pay for with time, risk and importantly, something called opportunity costs. For example, many would LOVE to play guitar like a champ. Bring it to parties, start strumming some beautiful chords. Make up a melody off the top of your head. Impress all the ladies. But GETTING to that level would take a lot of practice. Practice is pretty boring. And while you are practicing, there are tons of things you CAN'T do. Like play video games. Watch TV. Hang out down at the pub. All these things you CAN'T do are the opportunity costs. So economics is DISMAL because it FORCES us to confront ALL the costs. Now, some people are lucky and stumble into success. For them, the opportunity costs are minimal. Because they LOVE to practice more than anything else. But for us normal humans, costs are everywhere. Even in things normally perceived as PURE benefits. For example, take spoken language. This is one thing that we have that all animals don't have. Associated with spoken language is all the thoughts it is connected to. This is a fantastic invention. We are much better off WITH this than without it. But it does come with some costs. What are the costs? By focusing on spoken language, and conscious thoughts, we IGNORE all the stuff going on beneath the surface. We talk to each other using words. Those words create conscious thoughts. But beneath the surface, there is STILL a ton of stuff going on. Stuff related to intuition, subconscious energy, and a TON of non-verbal communication. If you ONLY focus on the surface, you are missing a lot. Luckily, there are some SIMPLE exercises you can do. To SLOWLY recalibrate your non-verbal energy. Both how you project it, and how you read it. Making you much more powerful of a communicator. Than pretty much everybody else you will ever meet. The best part? The best part is two fold. One, is that few people will ever know about this. Two is that the more you do these simple exercises, the stronger you'll get. And the more of an advantage you'll have. Get Started: https://www.udemy.com/course/verbal-assassin/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct25Post.mp4 A long, long time ago, I took a class in differential equations. We had learned a very simple, and very elegant way to solve equations. Except I couldn't quite wrap my mind around it. I had to rely on old school techniques. More like brute force techniques. After one test, the professor wrote a note on my test. I had gotten a decent score, so he couldn't quite criticize me. But I got the feeling he was messing with me nonetheless. One of those things that seems like a compliment but is really a covert insult. The whole purpose of the test was to demonstrate this new, elegant, problem solving technique. I didn't do that. I used old school, brute force methods. He wrote something to the effect that I was a good "soldier." That I was busily in the trenches using some very powerful "hand to hand combat" techniques. Since this was the LAST math class I would ever have to take, and the semester was nearly over, I just let it slide. But this type of thing happens quite a lot. We hang on to old school, hand to hand combat techniques. When there is much subtler, much more powerful techniques. The other night I watched this documentary on business scams. They hire pretty much anybody. And put them out on the street selling junk. The offer very little training. From a corporate standpoint, this is a pretty good model. Spend a little bit of money making crap products. Hire anybody with a pulse to sell them. Pay them ONLY commissions. The company only needs to collect whatever profits they make. They don't really care if 80% of their "salespeople" wash out. These companies are like those fish that eat half their babies. If you are too slow, you don't deserve to live. From an individual's standpoint, you CAN make money. But you need TONS of hustle. TONS of energy. TONS of "fake" charisma. All very old school, hand to hand combat, brute force techniques. Any time you have to consciously CREATE a bunch of charisma and motivation and energy, it's not very efficient. It's hard to maintain, and it never lasts. Luckily, there is a much more elegant way. One that makes any kind of EXTERNAL game much more natural. Much more efficient. Much more effective. It requires you do some simple daily exercises. Safely in your home. Safely in your brain. The more you do these exercises, the LESS you'll need to worry about any kind of outer game. You'll just need to show up. And let your inner game do all the work. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/verbal-assassin/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct21Post.mp4 When I was a kid me and my buddies liked to play Jedi. I was in elementary school when the very first Star Wars came out. I saw a TV show where they showed how they made the sound for the blasters. They would hit telephone cables with a wrench. Those really thick metal cables that connect the poles to the ground. If you hit them with a wrench, the vibration sounds will make the original Star Wars blaster sound. As soon as me and my buddies saw that, we'd take a wrench out of our garages, ride bikes all over town to find and hit those cables. Another way was with those doors at the supermarket that open automatically. Perfect for pretending to be a Jedi as a kid. We never could really figure out how to levitate stuff. But even better than levitating things was doing the Jedi mind trick. Telling somebody what to do, waving your hand, and them mindlessly doing it. This is a VERY sought skill. It's one reason why so many people LOVE the idea of hypnosis. Especially conversational hypnosis. The idea of getting people to do whatever you want without resistance is pretty powerful. This is actually why conversational hypnosis was invented in the first place. Before conversational hypnosis, there was old school, direct hypnosis. Watch this watch while I count down from ten. You are getting sleepier and sleepier. Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier. This works pretty good in the movies. But it turns out that when people go to get hypnotized for real, it's not so easy. Not a lot of people are willing to let some stranger monkey around in their brain while they're knocked out. It takes a while to get comfortable enough. This is why Milton Erickson created covert hypnosis. He wanted to knock them out much quicker. So he invented the storytelling type of hypnosis. Purposely confusing stories. These kind of went in the opposite direction. People were expected to be told to relax, close their eyes, etc. Instead, Dr. Erickson would start telling these stories. But they were purposely complex and vague. So much that their conscious minds pretty much said: Forget it. I give up. I'm outta here. Another way to get around the getting-comfortable-with-the-hypnotist problem was the idea of fractionation. Of putting somebody into and out of hypnosis several times on one session. Turns out you can find fractionation in many, many places. And it's pretty easy to use on many, many people. That's just one of the ways you can apply this deep persuasion technique. Learn More: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct20Post.mp4 What makes a classic movie? Nobody really knows. It's one of those things we all know when we see it. But if anybody could make on purposely, they would. Even decent movies vs. crappy movies. We all agree, more or less, which movies are really good, and which ones are really crappy. Sure, we disagree on the so-so movies. But classic movies like, "The Godfather," or "Citizen Kane," are pretty unanimous. Few people would watch "The Godfather," and say: "Yeah, that movie sucked." Nobody would ever watch "Howard The Duck," and think that they'd just seen the next classic of the ages. But the weird thing is that while we can all agree that movies like "The Godfather," are awesome, and movies like "Howard The Duck," pretty much suck, nobody can CREATE something that is awesome. For every Godfather, there are tons of movies that suck. But while they were making those movies, they all thought they were going to be awesome. Nobody makes a crappy movie on purpose. Even Al Pacino, when he was making The Godfather, thought HE sucked. He admitted that while they were filming the movie, he kept having self doubts. He thought people would see him, think he sucked as an actor, and that would be that. All this is due to the simple idea that things we value, we value SUBJECTIVELY. If somebody told you to make a cube made out of a certain mix of metal, and had a certain density and set of measurements, it would be easy. You wouldn't create it, measure all the dimensions, and hand it off to your boss thinking, "Gee I hope his scale measures weight the same way my scale does!" That would be silly! We all like good things. But it's equally hard to CREATE good things. One common idea in marketing is "you are not your market." If you absolutely LOVE peanut butter sandwiches, and can't live without them, that doesn't mean you'd be successful opening up a peanut butter sandwich restaurant. One common reason most businesses fail is they are too attached to THEIR OWN idea of success. To the extent you can be absolutely OBEDIENT to the demands of the market, you'll be successful. This is also why we all have a deep fear of expressing what WE subjectively like and want. We KNOW everybody is else might have a different opinion. We a movie, we think it's awesome, and can't wait to tell everybody. But then we read some online reviews and find out that everybody else on the planet think it absolutely sucked. So we tend to keep our opinions to ourselves. This means that everybody is FILLED with opinions, desires and fantasies that they are DYING to share. If you help them express them, expand them and validate them, they'll do ANYTHING for you. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct19Post.mp4 Many things can be seen from two completely different perspectives. Once I was with a bunch of friends. We'd just sat down in a restaurant, and were looking over at the menu. My friend noticed that his water glass was different than all the rest. Same size, but a slightly different shape. He immediately took this to mean that something was wrong with him. Of course, he was only being about 5% serious. But this is a common response whenever we are singled out for any reason. Another friend was quick with the helpful reframe. "That doesn't mean you are worse than everybody, that means you are better than everybody!" Both can be equally correct. We can be singled out because there is something wrong with us. Or we can be singled out because we are special in some way. Our brains are quick with these kinds of reframes. We can turn bugs into features, and features into bugs. Usually very quickly and subconsciously. This may indeed be a deep human instinct. A necessary human instinct. Way back in the day, in order to get our daily calories, we had to put in a lot of effort. And a lot of that effort was of the trial and error kind. Of chasing an animal, or several animals, a long time before we caught and killed it. Or shaking a bunch of trees before we got enough bananas to eat. We are pretty good with doing this with ourselves. Turning failures into positives. We kind of suck at doing this with others. Especially when it comes to people who are naturally gifted. Nowadays, there's a lot of ideas associated with some kind of "privilege." That some people, by their lucky virtue of genetics, have it easy. And the rest of us normal goofs have to work harder. But this is also something you can easily reframe. People that are exceptionally attractive, for example, DO have it easy. Studies have shown this. But only in some situations. The situations that call for deep intellect, long game planning, effective conversational and social skills, these are not associated with super gorgeous people. Because super gorgeous folks rarely feel any need to develop any of those deep traits. Super gorgeous people just show up, and by virtue of their gorgeousness, they can get their feet into doors most of us can't. But that's all they can do. Get their foot into a door, stand on the other side of that door, and look pretty. But with some very targeted conversational skills, you can make yourself much more attractive, from a subconscious energy standpoint, than the most gorgeous person on Earth. You can BUILD your own halo effect as big as you want. With whomever you want. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct15Post.mp4 If you are a kid, your mom doesn't want you hanging around with sketchy characters. Because you'll unconsciously soak up bad behaviors. This is how humans learn. Most teachers attempt this ancient technique, but they fail miserably. Learning and well as teaching are both instincts. They have to be. Since humans brains have been growing very large for at least a million years. Right around when we discovered fire. This was long before language was invented. But we still had to learn, and to teach. Plenty of lower animals do this. Just not as well as us humans. We learn, and teach, through a process called modeling. This is one of those buzzwords everybody uses but nobody understands. If you've ever been around kids, and you accidentally let loose an F-bomb, you know exactly what modeling is. Even if the kid didn't notice, you and all the other adults will. Even if you don't have kids, and you are hanging with a bunch of buddies somewhere, if there is a group of kids nearby, everybody will NATURALLY keep the f-bombs to a minimum. We even SAY why. We don't want to "teach" them bad words. Even though we're not standing up in front of a chalk board. "Ok, children, repeat after me: Mother fu....." Just saying these words out loud is enough. This is how modeling works. The learner UNCONSCIOUSLY picks up things from the TEACHER. Back in the old days of apprenticeships, the apprentice would watch and copy the master. The master wouldn't need to talk. The apprentice wouldn't need to listen or take notes or study. Just watch and copy. Copy consciously, and copy unconsciously. This is why your mom doesn't want you hanging out with hoodlums. Because of all the unconscious things you may pick up. Why is this important? Because we choose our friends, and lovers, based on how well we LIKE to pick up things from them unconsciously. How we like to unconsciously teach them. This is EXACTLY why the phrase, "imitation is the deepest form of flattery" is absolutely correct. So the best way to let somebody know you like and appreciate them is to copy them. However, this presents a problem. Suppose you see somebody you want to get to know. And you want to make a nice impression. It wouldn't be a good idea to get close and start copying all their movements. That would be CREEPY. But this is where a related idea comes in. To be interesting TO somebody, you need to be interested IN that somebody. This is very close to the "imitation = flattery" idea. Luckily, there is a very simple, and very straightforward set of questions you can ask. Easy to ask, easy to answer, and will make them feel VERY GOOD about you. Learn How: http://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct12Post.mp4 Pretty people have it much easier than non pretty people. This is something that everybody kind of feels, and knows, but it's extremely hard to talk about. But it happens to be one of those things that can lead to some stunning realizations. A rough metaphor would be if you have deep money anxiety. Like most people do. Most people hate to balance their bank account. You go to the ATM, and even if you know you just got paid, you got this horrible fear of getting the dreaded, "insufficient funds" message. This leads to all kinds of horrible, mostly subconscious, conclusions. The halo effect is similar. If we do admit there IS a halo effect, it's bad for everybody. At least initially. If you are one of the pretty people, it means that it's not really YOU that's doing the work. It's your genetic gifts. Nobody gives a crap about your ideas and thoughts and beliefs. So long as they are coming out of a pretty face, that's good enough. This is why naturally attractive people HATE to be told that their success is largely due to their looks. On the flip side, normal looking folks like us HATE the halo effect idea just as much. Since we're NOT genetically gifted with gorgeous looks, there's not much we'll EVER be able to do. Both sides are correct, but only in a VERY superficial way. Because with a little effort, you can CREATE your own halo effect. No matter HOW you look. How's that? First, let's understand exactly HOW the halo effect works. It's not conscious. It's purely subconscious. The halo effect is when we feel a deep physical attraction. A deep and ancient POSITIVE feeling. And whatever the pretty person is talking about will be UNCONSCIOUSLY associated with that ancient, deep, positive feeling. It's critical to understand this is NOT conscious. Which means if you can CREATE a positive feeling in the other person, it will have the SAME effect. Even better is a genetically based halo effect has only one setting. Because it's based on their physical presence. But a custom made halo effect is based on their unique dreams and desires and fantasies. Which means you can BUILD it as strongly as you want. And since it's based ONLY on the ideas that exist inside THEIR brain, it doesn't matter WHO you are. It doesn't matter WHAT you look like. Not only does it NOT matter who you are or what you look like, since EVERYBODY'S got an endless stream of desires in their brain, you can use this technique on anybody you want. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct09Post.mp4 A long time ago, I had a low level job as a technician. Some big shot was coming to see me. A guy that was way above my pay grade gave me some inside dope. That the big shot coming to see me was thinking about starting another department. And she was maybe think about involving me somehow. Needless to say, I was nervous. The reason for her visit was completely different. So I had to pretend I didn't really know that she was there to also give me the once over. She showed up, we did our thing, she thanked me she left. A couple days later my inside guy called me and said she was impressed. That made me feel pretty good. Being able to impress somebody is a common desire. If you see an attractive person across the room, being able to impress them would feel fantastic. If you have a job interview, being able to impress the hiring guy is a good skill to have. If you wanted to be an actor, you would need to impress the guy doing the choosing. Even if you wanted to cook a meal for your friends, being able to impress them with your skills is a very nice feeling. When Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker fought with light sabers the first time, that's exactly what Vader said: "Impressive." Clearly, being able to impress people would help you in pretty much ANY situation. Sure, you could learn certain skills to impress people. Cooking skills, acting skills, light saber dueling skills. But those are pretty contextual. If you walked up to a stranger and told them you could make the perfect souffle, they might be impressed, they might not be. To impress people in social settings, particularly strangers, would be a VERY nice skill to have. It would increase your social proof. It would increase your authority. It would significantly expand your social network. All things that would make you much more attractive. Luckily, there is a VERY SIMPLE way to do this. When most people think about impressing others, we think about impressing THEM with the ideas in OUR brains. This is the absolute HARDEST way to do that. The easiest way is to impress them with how well we can find interesting ideas in THEIR brain. It turns out that the simplest way to be impressive TO others is to be impressed BY others. Luckily, there is a very simple, step by step, linguistic structure to do EXACTLY that. Learn how, and impressing people EVERYWHERE will be second nature. Get Started: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct08Post.mp4 In sales, they have an idea of a laydown. This is somebody who stumbles into your shop. You give them the memorized sales pitch, and they don't object at all. They look at you and say, "Wow, that's EXACTLY what I was looking for!" And then you give them the price. And they say, "Wow, that's way cheaper than I thought!" They buy whatever you are selling, and everybody lives happily ever after. This, however, is very, very rare. It's about as rare as walking up to a gorgeous girl and saying: "Hey, you don't know me, but wanna have sex?" And her thinking about it and saying: "Sure, why not? Let's go to my place!" This happens to be the most common male sex fantasy. And the basic plot of every "bang bus" porn movie. Guys driving down the street in a creepy van, pulling up to a super hot girl wearing very revealing clothing and asking her to come on in the van. "Sure, I was hoping to be asked to join a gang bang!" Of course, there is fantasy, and there is reality. The reality is you may talk to 50 girls, or guys, and get 2-3 phone numbers. And those may even be given to politely get rid of you. If you listen to any hiring sales pitch, every sales job sounds like easy money. All you have to do is memorize a pitch, and the customers will LOVE to buy. But just like extremely unrealistic sex fantasies, the reality is much different. The reality is you MAY get one laydown every few months. Not enough to even pay ONE month's rent. At same time, a memorized pitch SOUNDS like a good idea. If you can somehow come up with a really good memorized pitch, it's easy, once you memorize it. This idea is based on not having a regular, back and forth conversation. Having back and forth conversations with strangers is not something most people are comfortable doing. ESPECIALLY if the purpose of the conversation is to get something from them. Like a sale, or a number, or even them to agree to your idea. But this is ONLY uncomfortable from the position of the ASKER. If you are ultimately going to ASK THEM something, you know it. They know it. They can feel it. The solution? Don't ask. Instead, build up their desire. Turns out this is VERY EASY. It's kind of goofy at first, but when you get the hang of it, you'll be blown away by how simple it is. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct06Post.mp4 When I was a kid I got this robot for Christmas. This was WAY back in the day before a lot of electronics started to become commercially available. It ran on batteries and basically just walked. When I was a kid, Japanese monster movies were popular. They had the famous ones, Godzilla, Rodan, etc. But there was one that I particularly liked. As a kid I only knew it as "Giant Robot." The government (or somebody) built this huge robot. But a kid was the first one who activated it. And he could command the robot by talking into his watch. The commands always started with, "Giant Robot..." and then the command. I (and probably every other kid who watched that movie) LOVED to imagine having my own giant robot. Many people are attracted to the idea of hypnosis for two main reasons. One is that we can (allegedly) use hypnosis to get others to do what we want. The other is that we can solve our own problems with hypnosis. Most people imagine being able to use hypnosis on others very much like the kid used on Giant Robot. To simply give them commands and watch them obey. This is how it is used in the movies. Say the magic phrase, snap your fingers and BOOM, they're in a trance. If it were only so easy! But movie hypnosis is not like real hypnosis. Real hypnosis DOES work. But it's a bit more complicated than using a magic word or phrase. If humans could be so easily controlled, all the women would be pregnant, and all the men would be broke. Luckily, this is NOT the case. But there are plenty of ways to create the same outcome. Of getting the other person to do whatever you want. It's only a little bit more complicated than in the movie. It requires first talking to them, and asking them some questions. Very easy to answer questions. They aren't quite questions that you can memorize. You WILL have to do some thinking. But once you figure it out, it's very easy to ask anybody the right questions in the right order. Each one you ask, they'll easily answer. Because every time they answer, they'll feel better. And after only a few questions, they WILL be very eager to do whatever it is you want them to. Even better is they'll truly believe it was THEIR idea. Learn How: https://www.udemy.com/course/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug20Post.mp4 There's a psychological idea called the "pushback effect." If you've ever gotten into an argument online, you've no doubt experienced it. This, like most of our biases, is something that's easily seen in others, but very hard to see in ourselves. Which means it is an ego-based survival instinct. The pushback effect is triggered when somebody tries to counter your argument. The INSTINCT is to hold fast, regardless of the other person's logic. The MORE you come at the opponent with logic, the MORE they'll dig into their position. Our beliefs are very much associated with our identity. This goes along with the "beliefs as food" idea. We don't really eat food because it's healthy. We eat food because it tastes good. Way back in the day, this was perfect. The BETTER something tasted, the BETTER it was for us. Meat and fat were ideal, as they were dense sources of needed calories. Sweet fruit even better. Roots, and tubers, not so much. They were better than nothing, but not as good as a freshly killed slab of meat. Of course, today, with recent discoveries in chemistry, food is engineered to be delicious. But at the cost of health. Beliefs can operate the same way. We don't believe things because they are true. We believe things because the help us and make us feel good. So when somebody attacks our beliefs, it very much FEELS like they are attacking US. Hence the pushback effect. Somebody attacks our beliefs, which makes us dig in. Very much like a physical confrontation. If somebody pushes you, you push them back. Nearly all "fighting technology" is based on pushing back BETTER than they pushed you. Only few are based on NOT pushing back, but instead using THEIR energy. This can be done conversationally as well. Not in arguments, but in persuasion and influence. For any purpose. Sales, friend making and seduction. Since the pushback effect is based on ego, it's very HARD to turn off. But if you can manage to turn it off, and simply ask very easy to answer, linguistically calibrated questions, they will feel FANTASTIC. Even enjoyable conversations between friends have the pushback effect. Each person is very subconsciously trying to OUTDO the other. But once you shut off your ego, they will be able to EXPAND. The more they EXPAND the better they feel. And when you carefully allow them to expand their ego, they'll be willing to do whatever you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug18Post.mp4 There are a quite a lot of truisms. The problem with truisms is three fold. One is that they are popular. Two is that they are true. Three is where the problems begin. It's how our brain treats "knowledge" and "experience." If you hear something once, it might seem like a good idea. But if you hear it a bunch of times, and eventually begin to repeat it yourself, then it starts to FEEL very familiar. But familiar in a superficial way. Not in a deep, experiential way. You can tell that somebody has this level of "knowledge" when you ask them to explain EXACTLY what they mean. But they can't. They have a weird combination of KNOWING that something is true. They know it as well as their own name. But they can't explain HOW or WHY it's true. When people have ideas, you can tell how they explain them. They say things like, "Well if you think about it, it makes sense." Since that's how THEY experience it inside their own brain. They've ACCEPTED the idea from others. The idea makes them feel good. They've thought about that idea a whole bunch of times. But they've never take the time to actually take apart the idea. This type of thing pops up ALL OVER THE PLACE in self help and self development. Entire seminars are filled with gurus saying these truisms in a whole bunch of different ways. But never once explaining how EXACTLY to apply them. Here's an example. A very common, and often repeated marketing strategy is as follows: "Encourage their dreams, allay their fears, and throw rocks at their enemies." This SOUNDS fantastic. Who wouldn't want their dreams encouraged? Who wouldn't want their fears allayed? Who wouldn't want help throwing rocks at their enemies? Everybody would. Which is why this is GOOD advice and TERRIBLE advice at the same time. Good advice because it rings very true. Terrible advice because it doesn't explain HOW, specifically, to do that. For example, how, exactly would you ENCOURAGE somebody's dreams? You could say something silly and common: "You should TOTALLY go after your dreams!" Or ask them what their dreams are. And then say: "Yeah! You should totally do that!" Problem is that this is the SAME strategy that every other fake goof tries. If you went into an upscale department store, and tried on an expensive shirt, THIS is what they'd say: "That shirt looks great! You'll DEFINITELY get laid!" This is an ATTEMPT to encourage your dreams. Unfortunately, it's the same fake line that EVERY salesperson uses. Luckily, there is a very specific set of linguistic techniques that you can learn. To make it very easy to elicit and BUILD up their dreams. And some more specific linguistic techniques to ENCOURAGE their dreams. In ways they've NEVER experienced. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug17Post.mp4 One of the driving forces of all livings is to maximize gains and minimize costs. Most animals, not even us humans, think in these terms. This is a very deep instinct. It has to be. Without even ascribing life to an entity, it must burn energy. Moving takes energy. Your car won't go without any gas. Animals won't be able to move without any fuel. They must consume at least as many calories as they burn. Or else they will die. The ONLY animals that exist must have some deep programming that makes them follow this rule. To MAXIMIZE what they get, and MINIMIZE what they spend. We can see this everywhere in human life. In our day to day life. And in human history. Whenever we buy something, we want to GET as much as we can, while spending as little as we can. Every invention was driven by deep desire get more while spending less. This is what drove the ancient desire behind alchemy. To turn regular dirt into gold. This is what drove the industrial revolution. The ancient Greeks had figured out how to spin something by boiling water. They boil the water, the steam rises and makes something spin around. If you can only burn wood, it's not very efficient. But if you can burn coal, it becomes VERY efficient. Imagine if you had a locomotive with a wood burning engine. You'd have to stop every couple miles. Everybody would have to get out and chop down a bunch of trees. But using coal? You can go a lot further by carrying a lot less WEIGHT. Even when we humans are thinking about doing something, this cost benefit analysis is ALWAYS running in the back of our minds. Especially when it comes to getting others to do what we want. That's why we LOVE the idea of magic words. If there WERE a collection of magic words, that would be FANTASTIC. That would be like ALCHEMY. The idea of walking up to a stranger, speaking these magic words, and then watching them EAGERLY do whatever you wanted. Well, guess what? There IS a way to do that. But it's not based on magic words. More about the kinds of QUESTIONS you ask. Questions that build up a TON of desire. Questions that are absolutely unimposing. Questions that are easy to answer. Questions that are enjoyable to answer. The more you ask, the easier it will be. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug15Post.mp4 Cialdini laws can be found everywhere. These are very much like biases, in that you can see them in others, but it's very hard to see them in ourselves. For example, social proof, authority, and commitment and consistency are three of Cialdini's laws. And these three ideas are behind most beliefs in our brain. Most of us NEVER take the time to consider any of our most closely held ideas. Humans didn't evolve by being slow thinking logicians. Humans evolved by thinking quickly. As a means to an end. The END was not "truth." The END was safety, food, sex, social status, etc. Advertisers know all about Cialdini laws. Even before Cialdini showed up. Social proof, authority, scarcity, commitment and consistency, you'll find these in all things sold. But since they operate BENEATH conscious awareness, we can ONLY see them in other people. We are not robots, we are not Vulcans. We are ILLOGICALLY thinking, emotionally driven humans. And we very much NEED to believe we are logical. Normally, this isn't a problem. Normally, this is a BENEFIT. If you had to logically prove everything, not only would be you lonely, but you'd be EXTREMELY depressed. Unless you are hard core scientist who NEVER leaves the lab, (and is married to a robot sex doll), being illogical and emotional is WHO WE ARE. The problem comes when we try and PERSUADE others. We tend to make decisions emotionally. Based largely on Cialdini laws. But THEN, because we have a need to BELIEVE that we are logical and rational, even when we aren't, we come up with a logical sounding reason WHY we did what we just did. When we only tell ourselves these reasons, that's PERFECT. But if we use these SAME REASONS to try and influence others, it won't work. Since they aren't the REAL reasons. Luckily, there is a way to temporarily SHUT DOWN this post logic imagination. Which is essentially an ego protection tool. Once shut off (temporarily) you can talk to others to BUILD up their deep desire. The STRONGER their desire is, the more they'll enjoy talking to you. The more they'll be ATTRACTED to the things you are talking about. The more they'll want to DO THEM. The more they'll want to DO YOU, but you gotta be careful. Because this works VERY QUICKLY, and very strongly, the LAST thing you want is somebody you DON'T KNOW being super attracted to you. So go slow, and you'll be fine. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Aug14Post.mp4 Being assertive is difficult. Very few people are naturally assertive. Even people who are considered assertive are really aggressive. To be truly assertive means to speak your truth without any emotional energy. The idea is you say what's on your mind, and accept ANY response from the other person. To be assertive means that you CANNOT change the thinking or behaviors or ideas of the other person. Theoretically, this is the BEST way to communicate. To effectively speak your truth. Clearly state your boundaries, your intentions and desires. Accept the people that respect you. Disqualify the people that don't. However, there is a HUGE difference between theory and reality. In THEORY we only need to eat 2200 calories a day. In THEORY we should be getting 8 hours of sleep a night. Theories don't help much. Because WE live in reality. And the reality about asking for what you want is it's HARD. Most people suck at it. Most people are timid when asking for more water at a restaurant. Walk up to an attractive person and "state our truth?" Please! "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I think you're very attractive and I would very much enjoy having sex with you." In THEORY, that's all you need. But in reality? You'd get punched in the FACE! Clearly, we need another plan. A better plan. An easier plan. Sure, you COULD approach ten people a day, until you build up some confidence. But what if you get punched ten times a day, in the FACE?! You could find a therapist that would help you get to your deeper issues. Heal your inner child. Connect with your higher power. Ain't nobody got time that! We want results, we want them quick. AND we are lazy, and impatient. Luckily, there is a solution. A set of simple questions you can ask. Questions that are easy to answer. Questions that don't make it seem like you are trying to GET something. Questions that are all about THEM. NEVER about you. Questions that will build up their desire. So strongly, they'll start to see YOU through that desire. Which means everything will be THEIR idea. And since you NEVER need ANY kind of close, or speak any kind of "truth," you'll never feel even a HINT of anxiety. Nor will there ever be any rejection. This does require you DO a couple of things. But they are NOT things that create any anxiety or invite any rejection. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/get-anybody/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July26Post.mp4 Like most people, I enjoy watching movies. I also enjoy TV shows. And like most, some movies and TV shows I enjoy watching over and over. But I've noticed that the ones I enjoy watching more than once fall into two different categories. The first are TV shows that keep my attention, but they plots are pretty complicated. So when I watch them again, especially after a year or so, I kind of forget what happens at the end. Many of these are mysteries, and the plot is so convoluted you need to pay close attention. Frequently I'll watch them again, but forget who the killer is. But other shows are much different. That first group, I can really only watch twice. The first time, then about a year later, long enough to forget what happened, but once more. But that's it. Other, rare, shows and movies are ones I can watch many times. Even when I KNOW everything that is going to happen. These are very well written. The characters have a lot of depth. But more than just clever writing, the characters RESONATE. I can see myself in them. I can identify with a lot of the issues these characters are going through. Every once in a while, a work of fiction will be able to do this for different generations. This is when they start to be called "classics." Because they resonate with true human NATURE. The kind that doesn't change from generation to generation. Cultures, fashion, interests change. But deep nature does not. It's easy to forget this. To get lost in fads and trends and memes. But deep beneath all of this, human nature is the SAME as it has been for thousands of years. Tens of thousands of years. Which means if you understand this nature, you will understand people. Even people you don't know. Even people from different cultures and different languages. This idea isn't very popular. It's popular to believe that all people are unique in their own special way. But the science says otherwise. Linguistics says otherwise. Jungian psychology says otherwise. Mythology says otherwise. Anthropology says otherwise. Underneath our complex conscious thought patterns lies a very simple animal. Understand THIS and you can do magic. Speak to THIS and you can move people. Leverage THIS and you can get people to do anything you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July25Post.mp4 Some of the easiest advice is the hardest to apply. A very common, universally known idea in storytelling is to "show, don't tell." Yet watch plenty of huge budget movies, with A-list stars, and they can't seem to follow this simple advice. Many movies start off with characters TELLING very critical backstory information. It's like the writers KNOW that information is critical, but they want to get it out of the way. Most action movies are like this. Zero character development. About 20-30 minutes of SETUP, and then a whole slew of action scenes. On the other hand, there are plenty of LONG slow, evolving dramas on streaming services. One of the best shows ever IS one of the best shows ever BECAUSE it was one long character arc. Breaking Bad is a very slow CHANGE in character from an under-achieving science teacher to an EVIL GENIUS. Nothing was TOLD to the viewer. The shifts in character were SHOWN, very slowly, over five seasons. We love this because we get a real feeling of discovery. Whenever we DISCOVER something, it feels very much like OUR OWN interpretation. But despite how OBVIOUS this is, it's very hard for us to DO. We LOVE to TELL other people what's what. We love the idea of telling people OUR IDEAS and having OUR IDEAS somehow magically create the behaviors we want. Nearly all sales people are trained like this. To BLAST the customer with a whole bunch of reasons why the SALESPERSON thinks the customer should buy the product. Whenever we want to alter the behavior other people, we put things in THEIR perspective. Not ours. This is HARD to do. We believe OUR IDEAS are so AWESOME, that if they only hear them, they'll do whatever we want. But if you can manage to turn off your ideas, for just a few minutes, you can get pretty much anybody to do anything. By targeting two levels. One is the things they want, need, and desire as individuals. Two is their deeper instincts. When you can align these two, they will be BEGGING to obey you. So long as you can tell a story. A story in which they'll DISCOVER their own interpretation. Once they do, they will OWN the decision. The decision they found. The same one you HID there just for them to find. Like a magic Easter egg. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July23Post.mp4 One of the biggest problems of modern society our attention span. Some studies put our attention span the same as a goldfish. Not sure how accurate that is, but there is a LOT of data suggestion we are getting dumber, lazier and far less capable. For example, if you look at the grade level of presidential state of the union speeches since WWII (75 years ago), they have been slowly getting worse and worse. In the 50s a typical presidential speech was at the twelfth grade level. Today it's much lower. And it's been STEADILY declining. Another thing that has been getting worse and worse is our ability to DELAY gratification. This makes total sense. Imagine living a 100 years ago. No TV, very scarce radio. Everything you COULD know about world had to be READ and understood. Naturally, people back then were MUCH more informed. Today, if something is more than a couple hundred words, our eyes glaze over and our minds start to drift. This is both terrible and fantastic, depending who you are. If you are somebody who can't focus for very long, then it sucks. But if you CAN still think relatively strongly and have a decent level of intelligence, this gives you a HUGE advantage. Because despite how seemingly lazy and stupid most of us have become, deep down inside we are the SAME humans we've been for thousands of years. Before they invented the printing press, people had to REMEMBER a ton of stuff. The only people nowadays who even come close to utilizing their total brain power are career stage actors. People who have memorized DOZENS or even HUNDREDS of plays. The guys who have to get up in front of tons of people and REMEMBER a short story worth of words. Not just the basic idea, but the EXACT words in the EXACT order. And not the stuff that's on TV. Well written stuff. Like Shakespeare. Even better, they've got to say them CONGRUENTLY. This means they've got to remember them intellectually and emotionally. Ancient storytellers did the same thing. Viking storytellers were capable of telling ancient Norse sagas, some that went on for HOURS. All from memory. This is the POTENTIAL of the human mind. A potential that most people would be TERRIFIED to even think about. Even if you only scrape the surface of what's possible, you can be a shining star surrounded by dullards DESPERATE for somebody to tell them what to do. Desperate for somebody to capture and lead their attentions, imaginations, and emotions. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July21Post.mp4 I was listening to this "pundit" the other day. He was talking about the "ideal" way to express your skills, or live a good life, or whatever "pundits" like to talk about. He said the ideal situation is where you have a set of skills that you ENJOY doing, that there is a market for, that will earn you some money AND will allow you to "do good." The first three are perfect. In fact, you really only need the first two. Skills that you enjoy doing and will make you money. The only caveat is that money is VOLUNTARILY being given to you. If you were a highly skilled bank robber, and enjoyed robbing banks, then that wouldn't really qualify. People sometimes feel a need to add on a "do good for society" whenever they talk about making money. As if there is something inherently WRONG with ONLY wanting to make money. That unless you are ALSO taking time to "do good" (whatever that means) then ONLY making money isn't enough. But when you do something and somebody VOLUNTARILY gives you money in exchange, that IS good. Imagine that you and a friend decided to trade $20 bills. Just for fun. How would that feel? Pretty silly. Now imagine trading a $20 for $21. That would feel better. That's why people LIKE to buy things. We WANT the thing we are getting MORE than the money we are paying. If you run the BEST bread shop in town, and people LOVE to come and buy your bread, then you ARE doing good. Selling bread that people enjoy buying IS doing good. You have a skill that you ENJOY. Baking the best bread around. That skill is getting you PAID. So long as that money is coming from happy people who EAGERLY hand over the cash in exchange for the bread, there's NOTHING ELSE you need for a happy life. At least from a making money, career, financial stability standpoint. And in a few happy relationships, and Bob's your uncle. This idea rests on top of ANCIENT instincts. Instincts that drove people to act selfishly. Not an evil selfish. But a very ancient and very MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL selfish. The mutually beneficial selfishness that makes bees and flowers team up. And dogs and humans. And humans and humans. The SAME mutually beneficial selfishness that makes people WANT to develop skills to sell things to people who EAGERLY pay them. This is a very DEEP and very ANCIENT human desire. Everybody has it. Everybody WANTS to express. Learn to leverage it, and you can motivate people to do anything. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July20Post.mp4 One of the biggest problems in modern society is social approval. In ancient human societies, social approval was essentially the currency. Today, the currency is money. Duh. You work, applying your unique set of skills. They pay you money, and you take that money and buy whatever you want. But in ancient times, BEFORE money was invented, the "currency" was social status. This allowed ancient societies to THRIVE based on selfish behaviors. Any society that DEPENDENDED on non-selfish behavior wouldn't have lasted long. How was did selfish behavior work? Every day, dudes went out hunting. They wanted to get the BIGGEST kill possible. Not because it was the right thing to do. Not because it was what other people THOUGHT they should do. Not because they were worried about being a positive role model. Because whoever came back with the BIGGEST kill got treated like a ROCK STAR. Including a ton of sex. This INSTINCT made EVERYBODY want to kill the biggest animal possible. Tribes filled with these types of people, with that type of instinct, ALWAYS had enough to eat. The more any ancient hunter CONSISTENLY brought back big kills, the more social status he had. The more social status he had, the better life he had. But his social status, his ROCK STAR status, was directly connected to his productivity. How many calories he acquired. This was a perfectly calibrated system. Today, it's pretty messed up. We WANT social status, and we very much like the IDEA of getting social status, but it can easily BACKFIRE. Because nearly all socials status today is NOT connected to real productivity. You can buy a bunch of bling on your credit card, go way into debt and still kind FAKE IT. This is the whole idea of "keeping up with the Jones'." The underlying concept beneath the famous saying: "We buy things we can't afford to impress people we don't like." Because EVERYBODY is competing with each other to get FAKE social status. But guess what? That ancient instinct still lives inside everybody. That's why we LOVE hero's journey movies. Where hero's go out, kill the bad guy, and get ROCK STAR treatment. This is EXACTLY what our instincts CRAVE. Which means this is a very useful instinct to leverage. Take any idea, and wrap it around this ancient instinct, and people will be BEGGING to do what you want. All without knowing what's going on. This can make you more persuasive then ever. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/July19Post.mp4 The most common persuasion strategy is the features and benefits strategy. When in actual sales, the salesperson is taught to memorize a huge list of features and benefits. Then they rattle them off to any customer that walks in the door. The idea is that if they hit enough of the customer's hot buttons, the customer will have enough buying desire. On TV shows and movies, effective salespeople do this with plenty of charisma. The customer just needs to stand there and be mesmerized by the beautiful metaphors the salesperson comes up with. Even if non-sales persuasion, this is the common, go-to technique for most people. The persuader tries to convince the target why the target should do want the persuader wants. Based on the ideas that exist in the persuader's brain. To the extent that there is a natural OVERLAP between the persuader's brain and the target's, this will work. But there often isn't. This is AS FAR as most persuaders go in their thinking. Of trying to find some kind of MAGIC WORDS to MAKE the target do what the persuader wants. Sales, persuasion and seduction. A much more enlightened approach is to find out the kinds of things the target likes or wants. In sales, this is called eliciting the criteria. First you find out EVERYTHING you can about the target's desires. THEN you take those desires that came from THEIR BRAIN and try and show htem how YOUR idea will satisfy THEIR desires. This works better than the features and benefits approach. It's not nearly as confrontational. But it's also still pretty limited. Why? Because it requires that the target KNOW what they want. AND it requires the conversation ALLOW for such questions. Many times it doesn't. Especially when overt persuasion isn't appropriate. For example, suppose you wanted to give somebody some advice. Somebody you knew. Somebody that you KNEW would benefit from the advice. But they CAN'T see it from their perspective. It's VERY HARD to elicit criteria under this scenario. At least CONSCIOUS criteria. We humans have tons of UNCONSCIOUS criteria. An infinite amount, essentially. At least as long as we are thinking and breathing. If you can leverage THIS unconscious criteria, ALL persuasion is MUCH easier. Luckily, this deep criteria, is very similar from person to person. Which means once you figure it out, the SAME strategies will work on plenty of people. For whatever reasons you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/instinct-persuasion/
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