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Everybody loves a sense of humor. It's rare that humor doesn't have a place. But developing a sense of humor can seem difficult. You could try and memorize a bunch of jokes. Which could work, but then again it could backfire. Timing is an important part of humor. If you tell the wrong joke at the wrong time, you'd be better off having kept your mouth shut. Being funny in a SPONTANEOUS way is much better. A very basic and common way would be to simply know a whole bunch of jokes and anecdotes. So when somebody says something, you can say: "That's like the guy who..." and away you go. So long as the joke is relevant, you'd be pretty good. However, it would also be clear that all these anecdotes would be MEMORIZED. It would be a kind of prepared spontaneity. This is how many stand up comedians make it LOOK LIKE they are riffing in the moment. The art of improvisation is learning to work with WHATEVER you get. However, being able to accept everything that is coming at you, and responding with MEMORIZED humor still requires you MEMORIZE a ton of jokes. This is what those world class improv guys do. They memorize a TON of short routines on a TON of subjects. So no matter what comes AT them, they can flip it around into something funny. From a structural standpoint, this is the same as a salesperson who practices overcoming TONS of objections. And in TONS of different ways. If you want to develop your sense of humor, do you need to go to all this work? No, you do not. It's much easier to notice the build in "funny" structure of language. Once you get the hang of this, you can easily riff on ANYTHING anybody says. Not only for humor, but for mind bending silliness. This comes from understanding the structure of hypnosis. Not direct hypnosis, where you walk around swinging a watch. But COVERT hypnosis. Where the only person who knows what's going on is you. Once you learn the structure of covert hypnosis, you'll find TONS of opportunities built into every day language. This will give you a huge range of riffing potential. Turning statements into silliness. Turning certainty into confusion. Even getting away with saying the CRAZIEST things. Things that make people laugh out loud, and then suddenly forget. In between thoughts and words is TREASURE. Treasure that only you will be able to see. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/party-hypnosis/
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The quickest way to become the alpha of any group. https://mindpersuasion.com/public-speaking-confidence/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/easy-and-effective-persuasion-techniques/
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It's hard to withhold giving advice. For example, somebody you know is having some problem. Since they are trapped INSIDE the problem, they don't have such an objective view. Since you can see the problem from the OUTSIDE, the solution is clear. But for some reason, whenever we give people advice, they don't take it. When people give US advice, we don't take it. Why is this? There are a couple of reasons. One is that advice sounds and feels like people are telling us that they know more about us than the situation. And since we are the ones trapped inside the situation, this doesn't make us feel very good. Another reason is the more we think about any problem we are having, the more we tend to externalize the problem. If we are having a problem with our boss, it's because of him, so the solution must come from him. If we have an issue with any person, we'll tend to externalize it to them. The more we do this, the more we can only accept a solution coming from them. So when somebody comes up and says, "Hey, why don't you try this," it's very much like the OPPOSITE of our solution. Our solution is for THEM to change. The unasked advice sounds like WE should change. And we don't like that. Nobody does. This can be very maddening if YOU are the advice giver. Especially if YOU had the very same problem. And you solved it the same way as the advice you are giving. Fortunately, there's a very powerful way to COVERTLY give people advice. So they'll take it. This works by delivering so covertly they'll later remember it was THEIR idea. Why would you want to do this? It gives you a much more powerful, much more effective and much more RELAXED way to essentially tell others what to do. So long as you LET THEM take the credit for the idea, you can get people to do whatever you want. How do you do this? By telling a couple of stories. First tell a story that paces the problem. Then tell a story that paces a POSSIBLE solution. What kind of stories? The easy kind. The natural and common kind. About a friend of a friend. And something that happened to them. That way, you'll sound like any other goof telling seemingly UNRELATED stories about something happened. All the while covertly planing ideas in their brains. Ideas they'll accept. Ideas they'll obey. Needless to say, this gives you an INCREDIBLE amount of power. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
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Linguistic reframes are a powerful tool. These are when you take a meaning assumed by somebody, and flip it around until it means something else. Whenever two people are having a conversation, one person will set the frame. The other person will accept the frame. Consider the idea that even among old friends, there is always a very subtle frame contest going on. The word "contest" is too strong. It implies some kind of overt competition. But this is rarely the case. Imagine an old couple. Who has been married for decades. They've evolved a kind of understanding. For when who leads and who follows. This will change based on the context. With close friends it's the same. In some situations, one person leads and the other follows. When the situation changes, the frame hierarchy will change. This is one reason why we become friends with the people we become friends with. It's easy to follow and easy to lead. But when two people are having a conversation and they don't know each other, this "frame contest" will seem less subtle. Sometimes very overt. Especially in something like sales. But the rule is the same. Whoever controls the frame, controls the outcome. The customer wants the cheapest price possible. The salesperson wants the highest price possible. The context is buying or selling, depending on the viewpoint. The frame is exactly HOW this context will play out. This is when skills like reframing come in handy. A very common objection is the price objection. "Gee, I really love this but it's just too expensive." Another common objection, which is a bit more vague is the need to shop around. "Gee, I really like this, but I'd still kind of like to shop around a bit." The problem with reframing STATED objections is they usually aren't the entire story. There is usually something going on beneath the surface. Ultimately, it comes down to value. If the customer REALLY BELIEVED that the product was WELL WORTH the price, they wouldn't need to shop around. This is why it is very helpful to collect objections. Even if you aren't selling anything. To have any idea of the POTENTIAL issues that may come up. And then pre-frame them. How do you pre-frame them? With stories. Stories about other customers, or other people who match your target. Stories with characters that had those same objections, but found out a way to overcome them. This why, BEFORE the objection even comes up (whatever you want from your target) you'll pace it and overcome it. In a way this will create a kind of "objection short circuit" in their brain. So of the objection DOES start to come up, it will vaporize on its own. And they'll never know. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
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No matter what form of persuasion you are using, it must conform to human nature. Specifically, nobody will do anything unless they believe, consciously or unconsciously, it is in their best interests. This can seem confusing when we are on the outside looking in. We see people doing CRAZY things. Seemingly self-destructive things. Why would somebody do something that is so blatantly self destructive? This question is IMPOSSIBLE to answer. Even for the person doing the thing. From inside our own heads, there are costs and benefits to everything we do. Every action, big or small, long or short, includes costs and benefits. It's going to cost us time, money, energy, etc. What are the benefits? Money, social status, good feelings associated with survival (sex, food etc). But this is also based on how we PERCEIVE our reality. And how we judge our skills. And from inside our own heads, we never know the totality of these. Otherwise we would NEVER make mistakes. If you've ever made a decision that you later regretted, here's what happened. BEFORE you took action, you estimated that the benefits would outweigh the costs. But after you took action, with the added clarity of hindsight, you saw that the costs actually outweighed the benefits. So even from INSIDE our own heads, deciding what to do is rarely simple. This is why persuading others is complicated. We MUST convince them the costs are going to be LESS THAN the benefits. AND they must believe us. When it comes to persuasion, there are plenty of kinds. Hard sell, soft sell, overt, covert. But there is a much easier way. First, you understand all the things that cause us instinctive pleasure. The things that EVERY HUMAN wants. Positive validation, genuine social recognition, looking back at GOOD decisions, being recognized as a role model. Next, you understand the things every human DOESN'T WANT. Being a social outcast, trying and failing in front of others, being recognized as being an idiot, not being socially wanted, etc. Once you understand these, it's story time. You spin a bunch of stories that move them AWAY from the problem state, and TOWARD the solution state. And if you want them to do something specific, make THAT the thing that the character in your story did to achieve all the good things. And move away from the bad things. That way, they'll see this character taking actions. They'll see the GOOD RESULTS they got. And they'll naturally decide, "Hmm, maybe I should try that." And they'll try it. They'll do what YOU wanted, but it will be THEIR decision. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
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Most sales involves memorizing a pitch of some sort. The stereotypical sales person is the guy or gal who can deliver that pitch with maximum charisma. Even a BETTER salesperson can sort of "read" the customer and deliver a pitch. This is based on the idea that the salesperson knows WHY people SHOULD buy the item or service in question. It's fundamentally based on the salesperson doing the talking, and the customer doing the listening. This is why VERY charismatic people are the BEST salespeople. The have a certain "halo effect." What is a halo effect? It's when the generally attractive subconscious energy of the person talking is ATTACHED to the thing they are talking about. This mostly happens with VERY attractive women. For example, imagine two real estate people. One is a SUPER GORGEOUS woman. The other is a plain looking, middle aged dude. Both have the SAME pitch. The EXACT same words come out of each of their mouths. But when the middle aged dude speaks, it's flat and monotonous. Like he wishes he were somewhere else. The gorgeous woman, on the other hand is EXTREMELY charismatic. She's bubbly, happy, touch-feely, and gives off the impression that she wouldn't want to be ANYWHERE else on earth. Clearly, the woman would sell more than the man. Even though they are using the SAME words. But BOTH cases still involve taking the ideas out of the head of the salesperson, and putting them in the head of the customer. In both cases, the customer is a passive listener to the salesperson's pitch. So long as the salespeople GUESS about what's important to the customer, they can do pretty well. When it comes to GUESSING what the customer wants, it's not so easy. Two people buying the same car might have completely different reasons. But the deeper you go, the better you can "guess." If you go deep enough, you don't need to guess. Because if you go deep enough, we ALL want the same things. These same things are based on our deep instincts. When you speak to these deep instincts, it is VERY EASY to move people. This is why we love movies and fiction so much. These things MOVE US on a deep, instinctive level. If you speak to people on such a level, you can move people conversationally. AS MUCH as their favorite movie. Leaving them speechless, profoundly moved, and willing to do ANYTHING to keep that feeling. What might YOU use this for? Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
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Our language is absolutely filled with metaphors. When people think of metaphors, we usually think of poetry, or literature, or fairy tale type storytelling. But it's hard to speak more than a few words before tossing out a few metaphors. Just take a look that last sentence. "Words" is a metaphor. It is a collection of sounds or squiggly lines that mean absolutely NOTHING to the untrained eye. And they represent and "idea" in mind, another metaphor. If we wanted to be super specific, each "idea" would have to be described according to the EXACT neural configuration. Something that's not even scientifically possible. So every WORD we use is a metaphor unto itself. An extremely OVER SIMPLIFIED description of something much more complex. So when we put a bunch of these words together, to describe a much more complex metaphor, it's metaphor made up of smaller metaphors. And how, exactly, do we "get" these metaphors "out there"? According to that original sentence, we "toss them out." In reality, we move our mouths and throats and make a bunch of sounds. Nobody is actually "tossing" anything. But HOW we describe the "way" we "toss" these things out is instructive. A lot of times, we actually SAY, we are going to "put this out there." We PREFACE a collection of metaphors by saying: "I'm just gonna put this out here..." In reality, this is a BAD idea. Why? One, it breaks the rule of Carnegie. That you can get anybody to do anything so long as they think it was THEIR idea. As soon as you SAY, "I'm just going to put this out there..." it is IMPOSSIBLE to NOT associate that thing you "put out there" with YOU. So if you are including any ADVICE in that "thing" you are "putting out there," BEFORE you even mention the advice, you essentially OBLITERATE any chances it will be taken. Why? Because the OPPOSITE of Carnegie's rule is that NOBODY likes unasked for advice. What's the solution? Easy. It comes from fiction. Fiction, of course, being a very, very, very LONG string of metaphors. What does fiction teach us? SHOW, don't tell. When you SAY, "I'm just gonna put this out here..." you are TELLING. How do you SHOW instead? Don't preface that THING you are putting out there by saying you are putting it out there. Just put it out there. How? Just say it. And LEAVE it for the other person to discover ON THEIR OWN. If you build these metaphors correctly, and put them out there correctly, your targets will do WHATEVER you want. Without EVER knowing how you snuck those ideas into their brains. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
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Every culture has a rich history of storytelling. Norse culture had a particularly interesting technique. The would tell stories that had basic elements built in. Then the storytellers would only have to remember those basic plot points. They connected them mentally to certain parts of a warrior's armor. Just like the modern memory technique of the memory palace. Where you connect items you want to remember to rooms in a house. The way the tellers of the Norse Sagas used this technique was similar. They would connect the very basic plot points to a warriors armor. That way, they could go off on wild tangents. Based on the crowd, how they were reacting. The location, local culture, etc. Then they would eventually make their way back to the next point on the armor, which they associated with the next plot point in the story. Back in those days, if you were a professional storyteller, you had to develop a pretty good memory. Especially the Vikings, who didn't write much down. One might say we have a huge brain, a huge imagination and a potentially a huge memory to support our natural storytelling skills. That storytelling, and story listening is a very important human instinct. This means if you want to become a great storyteller, you already have the instinctive programming built into your brain. Why would you want to become a great storyteller? With a story, a collection of metaphors, or even a simple anecdote, you can get a point across MUCH more powerfully. You can deliver advice much more covertly and persuasively. You can be a much more entertaining and appreciated party guest. You don't need to get up on stage. Or even be known as a great storyteller. All you need to do is understand the structure of human fear and desire. After all, every story every told PACES human fear, and moves the listener toward better outcomes. You probably already have plenty of raw story materials in your brain. All you need is a little practice, and you can start developing your story instinct. What can you use this for? Sales, seduction, inspiration, motivation, healing, or plain old entertainment. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/storytelling-magic/
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It's a common idea to wish for magic seduction tricks. Even in other things like weight loss, it seems we humans are absolute suckers for the "one weird trick" scam Like if we find that one weird trick to lose weight, our problems are over. Or if we find that one secret hack into the female mind, we'll understand how easy it is to make ANY girl fall head over heels in lust with us. Unfortunately, these are all cons. Based on the same idea of the ancient snake oil salesman. The guy who would roll into town, and sell the "one weird potion" that would fix everything. Of course, he NEVER sold stuff out of an actual store. He HAD to sell it off the back of a wagon. So he could go from town to town. The idea being he'd be gone when people were wise to the scam. PT Barnum famously said there is a sucker born every minute. And suckers are suckers because we are willing to believe something that is too good to be true. Like shortcuts to making money, or shortcuts to losing weight, or shortcuts to romantic success. The truth is that anything WORTH getting will have a couple of clear identifying signals. One is it will be something FEW people have. If EVERYBODY had it, whether it be a thing a skill or a characteristic, it wouldn't be special. Two is it takes time and effort. And since most people are SCARED and LAZY, most people would rather spend their entire lives searching for one weird trick. In a way, this is good news. Because if you actually put in the work, you'll slowly differentiate yourself from every other lazy goof out there. And when it comes to developing GENUINE attraction from attractive women, the more work you put in, the more attraction you'll generate. So long as you start SLOWLY, and continue SLOWLY, it will very soon become a daily habit. And daily habits are easy. So long as they are daily habits that are BUILDING valuable skills. And it turns out the SAME SKILLS that attract high quality women are the skills that build a high quality life. And these skills have NO upper limit. Which means the more consistently you build them, the BETTER and STRONGER your skills will become. No weird tricks needed. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
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There's a lot of math problems floating around online. They usually have a catchy title. Like, "90% of adults fail this third grade math problem." One I've seen a few times involves something called "order of operations." Say you've got a math problem with some addition signs, subtraction signs, multiplication signs and division signs. According to the strict rules of math, you MUST do them in the correct order. Otherwise you'll get the wrong answer. This is why many adults will "fail" those third grade problems. Because adults will FORGET the correct "order of operations." For example, consider the following math problem: 3+3x7=? You're supposed to do the 3x7 BEFORE you add the other 3. If you do them from left to right, like reading, and add the two 3s's and THEN multiply by 7, you'll get the wrong answer. But in English, this order of operations doesn't exist. It's only assumed. But this means you can have a LOT of fun. For example, say you went to a party. And somebody asked how it was. And you reported: There were a lot of pretty girls and people there. Most people would naturally assume the correct meaning. That there were a lot of people. And AMONG those people were some pretty girls. But you can misinterpret that on purpose. And assume that the group of "pretty girls" and the group of "people" are two different groups. So you might reply: "And the pretty girls, they were aliens or something?" When you learn to pay attention to the potential ambiguity in EVERYDAY speech, you can have a lot of fun. See, it's one thing to drop jokes. You say something funny, and people laugh. And then that's that. But when you purposely reframe ambiguity, it also INVITES other people to participate in. To PLAY ALONG with the joke. For example, in the pretty girls and people joke, you can EASILY go off on how "pretty girls" are a completely different species. Like they're from another planet, etc. This is the REAL SKILL of world class party humor. It's the kind of humor that can involve EVERYBODY. Not just some goof standing there hogging all the attention. And with the right inner game, you can covertly create a HUMOR CONTEST where everybody is trying to come up with the CRAZIEST examples. On whatever reframe you just dropped. All it takes is a little tweaking of how you view language. Do this and people will LOVE to have you around. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/party-hero/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/multi-levels-of-rapport/
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One of the most coveted interpersonal "feelings" is one of outcome independence. Meaning you are totally relaxed in the moment. The less you seem concerned about the outcome, the more likely you'll get a positive outcome. For example, let's consider two sales people. One is VERY HIGHLY dependent on the outcome. This guy would be extremely worried about NOT making the sale. Which would make him very aggressive trying to make the sale. He would come across as pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer. He might even get angry if customers didn't buy. On the other hand, consider a guy who didn't mind if he made a sale or not. Why would he not care? Perhaps he was truly concerned with customer satisfaction. He only wanted to sell if the customer wanted to buy. Or maybe he would get paid no matter what. One strong reason to be outcome independent is understanding the numbers. Even if somebody gets paid pure commission, the longer view they take, the easier this will be. If they KNOW, based on experience, that one out of ten will buy something, they can simply relax. Instead of seeing every customer and thinking, "I hope they buy!" they'll instead see each customer and think, "Hmm, I wonder if they'll buy." Talking to a customer from the second frame of mind would be much more relaxing. Both from the customer's and the salesperson's standpoint. The LONGER your view, the more you can see each individual interaction as a TINY part in the whole. The SHORTER your view, the more anxious you'll be. The more each and every conversation will feel like it's do or die. There are many ways to cultivate this long view. One is to have a lot of experience. Another is to practice seeing EACH interaction as a learning opportunity. This starts by looking at each interaction AFTER it happens. And using it as a source of improvement. The more you do this, the easier it gets. Pretty soon you'll develop a real time "outcome independent" feeling. Another way to look at it is where you put your focus. If you ONLY focus on the short term, you'll ONLY see the short term. Success is fantastic. Failure is horrible. But the LONGER your view, the less each interaction means. Pretty soon, no matter WHAT happens in the short term, it will FEEL like success. This will significantly increase your confidence, and your chances of success. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
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There are a lot of common themes in movies. One very common idea in movies with a romantic theme is the odd character that finally finds somebody who "gets them." Everybody has a huge collection of ideas in our brains. But we all equally suck pretty hard at describing those ideas. The other night I was watching a documentary. And I noticed how articulately all those "common people" in the doc were explaining the situation. If you think about it, most people in documentaries, who are allegedly normal people describing un-normal things, are much more articulate that regular folks. But that's the whole point of documentaries. To give us a window into an event. But they are also commercial products. Documentaries are made by people hoping to earn a profit. For the documentary makers, it's their job. And just regular movie makers, they want to make the BEST product possible. So when they interview those "normal" people, they want to make it INTERESTING. So even though they are giving the average person's viewpoint, it is VERY practiced. They've likely been given the questions ahead of time, and have had plenty of time practicing. Many "takes" even. So they sound more articulate than most "normal" people. If you were to walk up to a random person on the street and ask them what they thought about any current event, they wouldn't be NEARLY as articulate as anybody on TV. What does this mean? That we are ALL walking around with very COMPLICATED ideas in our brains. And most of us SUCK at describing those ideas with very much detail. So how the heck are we supposed to CONNECT with other people if WE can't express ourselves very well, and THEY can't express themselves very well? The answer is actually pretty simple. The trick is to NOT worry about expressing yourself. Nor is it to put THEM on the spot and expect THEM to do all the work. The trick is to use a simple question process that helps them EXPAND what's in their mind. By asking very EASY to answer questions. That help them get MORE and MORE expressive and detailed. This also allows you to find all the SIMILAR ideas inside your brain. This makes it easy on them. This makes it easy on you. And this creates a LOT of deep connections. Deep connections that will be memorable and profound. Ones they won't find anywhere else. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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A useful statement is that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. A horse is trained to obey the rider. You pull one way, the horse goes that way. You pull the other way, the horse goes the other way. Speed up, slow down, stop, the same structure. Now, why would a horse be in front of water and NOT drink? Obviously, because he's not thirsty. Another way to express this truism is you can kind of manipulate people's actions, but you can't really manipulate their internal desires. Supermarkets and those who engineer them have been trying for years. They set up the store so we, the customers, are led wherever they want us to go. And their entire angle is to try to create buying desire. Colorful packages, enticing smells, sexy people, TV branding, etc. These are all designed to lead US to PRODUCTS and make us BUY. If you put a horse in front of water, he'll only drink if he's thirsty. Put a human in front of a bunch of products that we really don't need, and it turns out you CAN make us buy. But that only goes so far. This is only possible with a HUGE combination of VERY EXPENSIVE elements. TV advertising, lots of research and development. Training us to go to the same supermarket over and over. For individuals, it seems we're stuck with the horse model. For example, you COULD get a girl to come to your place, but this is NOT going to automatically make her want to jump your bones. You COULD convince a potential customer to let you in their house so you can give them a twenty minute product pitch. But it WON'T automatically make them desperate to buy. However, both of these are locked into the horse model. The rider of the horse gives the horse EXTERNAL stimulus that changes the horses EXTERNAL behavior. It does nothing for the horses INTERNAL desires. When you get a girl to your place, or your demo in front of a customer, it's essentially the same thing. A bunch of EXTERNAL IDEAS to move their behavior. But just like the non-thirsty horse, it won't do much for their desires. Luckily, there is a much easier way. It's based on absolutely DITCHING the idea of giving them a bunch of external ideas. And instead, carefully and slowly pulling their desires from the inside out. And making them bigger and bigger and bigger. So big they will naturally go after their desires. And with a little bit of practice, you can carefully build their desires so they'll go WHEREVER you want. And DO whatever you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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One of my favorite movie scenes is from the movie, "Man on Fire," with Denzel Washington. It's a remake of an earlier movie. Kind of a common structure. A washed up assassin takes a job baby sitting a rich family's kid. Through the relationship with the kid, the hero "re-discovers" his core truth. Then some bad guys come and kidnap the kid. The assassin regains his power and kills everybody. But one scene had Denzel's character walking along side the kid he was baby sitting as she was swimming laps in a pool. She was training for an upcoming competition. And he gave her some very sound, "assassin" advice. The advice is that contrary to what we like to believe, people DO NOT rise to the "occasion." We don't perform at above average levels when the situation demands. Instead, the assassin-hero says, we rise to our level of training. A common reframe we give ourselves is we want to do something, and then we chicken out. So instead of admitting that we chicken out, we reframe the objective. We artificially "lower" that which we were too scared to go after. We say to ourselves that we didn't "really" want that. If we REALLY wanted it, we would have "risen to the occasion." This would be like a free-throw shooter who only makes 40% during practice, and thinking he is going to make 80% during the big game. This is a fantastic movie ending, but real life is a little different. In real life if you hit 40% during practice, you're likely going to hit 40% during the games. This is made more difficult by watching highlight reels. For every bottom of the ninth home run that wins the game in stunning fashion, there are many, many more bottom of the ninth strike-outs. Consider the idea that "rising to the occasion" is a myth. A tool our self-deception uses to keep us on the sidelines. Instead, consider the reality. Than in every situation, you will rise to your level of training. So, start training. How do you "train?" Every single social situation is an opportunity. Even if you only watch others, you can train by going home and journaling. Not only what you DID but what you COULD HAVE DONE. When you imagine what you COULD HAVE DONE, you are training in new ideas. Every conversation that you have, whether it ends good or bad, is also a source of training. The more you train, the better you'll get. The better you get, the more you'll enjoy it. The more you enjoy it, the more FUN it will be to train. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/outer-protection-inner-fear/
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There's a powerful technique in the Milton Model. Of course, there are many, and this is but one. It's called the, "I'm not going to tell you..." pattern. It works because as soon as you utter those words, people's brains kind of turn down their defensive shields slightly. So if you say something like, "I'm not going to tell you to buy this product." It is a sneaky way to slip in the "buy this product" command. But it's very useful if you add on a bunch of stuff after. And that it seems like the stuff you add on after is the main part of the sentence. It's kind of like a magic trick. If you study magicians, they often to the "trick" part very early on in their routine. Then they do a bunch of talking after. If they can spit some pretty good game, the talking part is kind of a "mental cover" so you'll forget what happened before. So when they do the "reveal" it will seem much more magical. So when you use the "I'm not going to tell you..." pattern, it works the same way. You put in the command directly AFTER the "I'm not going to tell you..." and then you add on a bunch of stuff that will give them a reason to do EXACTLY what you said you weren't going to tell them to do. For example: I'm not going to tell you to BUY THIS EBOOK, because I want you to decide for yourself whether you would like to significantly increase your charisma and seductive powers. After all, many people find they don't like having gorgeous women following them everywhere and begging for sex. But you can also do this in a much subtler and more profound way. You don't ever actually SAY, "I'm not going to tell you." But you CREATE that feeling. Whenever you approach somebody, either a romantic target or a customer, it's hard to do so and pretend you aren't. If you are a guy, and you walk up to a girl in a social situation (or vice versa) it's pretty obvious what's going on. It's even MORE obvious if you are a salesperson and you approach somebody browsing in your shop. But there IS a way to approach WITHOUT any sales or romantic energy. And then through VERY relaxed and VERY subtle conversation, TURN UP their desire (buying, romantic or otherwise). And do so SO delicately they believe it is COMPLETELY their idea. They will actually believe that they are SPONTANEOUSLY feeling buying or romantic desires. For THEIR reasons. Which means there will be very little, if any, internal resistance. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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A very popular and useful book is "Psycho Cybernetics." It's one of those old school type books. Based not on metaphysical theories, but real data. It was written by a doctor. A plastic surgeon. Not the kind that builds fake boobs or younger faces. But the kind that fixes people's appearance after accidents. And he found something very interesting. He found ZERO correlation between somebody's appearance and their self image. Some people had HUGE self confidence, self image, etc., while having not so stellar looks. On the other hand, people who had FANTASTIC looks sometimes had the worst image of themselves. Of course, sometimes it was the opposite. This is what they mean when they say ZERO correlation. Just by looking at how gorgeous (or not gorgeous) somebody is, you have ZERO idea how they feel about themselves. And since Maltz (the author) was a trained medical doctor and not a metaphysician, he decided to figure out the reason. And the result was his book, Psycho Cybernetics. One of the things he found about people who have HIGH self image was that they NEVER compared themselves to others. On the other hand, people with self image troubles were ALWAYS comparing themselves to others. The only people we SHOULD compare ourselves to is how we USED to be. Because no matter HOW awesome we are, there will ALWAYS be somebody better. So comparing yourself to others will RARELY end well. Unfortunately, this is the EXACT same strategy most people use when trying to make a positive impression on others. They talk ABOUT themselves. They talk ABOUT their opinions (which they think are very clever). They talk ABOUT their dreams and accomplishments, which they believe to be better. The problem is that as soon as you operate from this mindset, you are making it very EASY for the other person to REJECT you. Because all they need to do is think of somebody who is BETTER. Of course, this strategy MAY have worked twenty or thirty years ago. Because the only people they could have compared you to were the people they actually met. But if you tried this SAME strategy on somebody with a healthy social media following? Forget it! Our modern Frankenstein social media environment makes it easy for ANYBODY to pretend they are famous. Which means trying to IMPRESS them is very, very difficult. Luckily, there is a much better way. A much easier way. One that REQUIRES face to face conversation. So no matter HOW many billions of followers they have, nobody can touch you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Everybody loves deep conversations. The kind that make you really think. The kind that stand out in your mind and your memory. Everybody would like to make an impression on others. Most do so by trying to be IMPRESSIVE. Grammatically, this makes perfect sense. You want to make an impression, so you act and speak impressively. The idea being that when the conversation is over, they'll remember you. And they'll remember you by thinking, "Wow, that guy was really IMPRESSIVE." How would you do this? Be very clever. Have a lot of interesting stories and anecdotes. Be extremely witty and humorous. Have an extremely strong frame so when they try and poke holes in it, you can easily out frame them. This is all very possible. And it is THE most common strategy. Unfortunately, while it can work like magic, it takes a LOT of practice. It's all based on YOU. And how they JUDGE you. No matter how strong of a "game" you build, you are always presenting yourself to them for approval. Because this is common, you are essentially COMPETING with everybody else who has this same strategy. So when you try to IMPRESS somebody, they are comparing you to everybody else who has tried to IMPRESS them. If you happen to BE a very impressive person, this is pretty easy. Unfortunately most of us are pretty normal. Lucky for us, there is a MUCH EASIER way. A way to leave a much BETTER impression that has NOTHING to do with you. Nothing to do with your job, your bling, your social status, or even your physical appearance. And EVERYTHING to do with how you make them FEEL. How do you do this? By focusing on STRUCTURE instead of content. Content is all the THINGS you try to impress them with. Structure is HOW they think. HOW they see the world. It's one thing to ask about them from a content level. This is essentially Dale Carnegie's advice. Talk about them instead of you. Since they are more attracted to ideas about THEM than they are about you. But when you ask about them from a structure level, it will seem incredibly deep and memorable. You'll ask them simple questions that get them thinking in ways they've NEVER done before. And because you'll be covertly eliciting their deep FILTERS, you will know MORE about them in just a few minutes than their best friends. And when you demonstrate this, they'll be more impressed with you than anybody they've ever met. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Many sales people have a common problem. It's the same problem people have when persuading anybody. If you're a guy, this "problem" comes when asking for the number. Or leaning in for the kiss. Or any type of "close." Closing can be applied to any next step. For example, if you are a salesman, you convert cold leads into warm leads by CLOSING the appointment. Then you hopefully turn warm leads into customers by CLOSING the sale. If you're a guy talking to a girl at a bar, you turn her from a "cold lead" into a "warm lead" by closing for the number. Since this is the MOST difficult part, it gets most of our attention. But in reality it should be the EASIEST part. The most NATURAL part. Think of it this way. If you are a salesperson, the client shouldn't need ANY convincing to buy the product. To them, it should feel just like buying a product on their own. They have a desire, they find the product, the grab it and head toward the register. Closing anxiety only happens when you imagine they need convincing. That they aren't quite ready to buy the product. That they aren't quite ready to give you their number. The paradox is the more worried you are, the less likely it will happen. Anxiety gives off a negative vibe. Negative non-verbal energy. The same kind of negative non-verbal energy that makes cats and dogs sketchy around you. So when you even THINK about building up to the close, you are also building up that negative energy. From the other person's perspective, while you were just chatting them up or explaining the product, you were relaxed. This, paradoxically, is when their interest is highest. The LONGER you worry about closing, the LOWER their buying temperature becomes. To a completely impartial, mind-reading, alien observer, this would seem EXTREMELY strange. There you are, with a HOT PROSPECT in front of you. But BEFORE you decide to close, you TURN DOWN their buying temperature. What's the answer? Forget about closing. Instead, focus on building as much desire as you possibly can. If you are selling anything, the customer will eventually tell you to shut up and sell it to them. If you are chatting up a guy or a girl, they will eventually close you. Because when you build desire the RIGHT WAY, they will feel stronger desire with you than they've ever felt before. And when we humans feel this, we want more. So when you can create this high level of desire in others, they will make it VERY EASY on you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Most normal adults are terrified of public speaking. Most are MORE afraid of public speaking than death. Most normal people also have a certain amount of approach anxiety. Sure, a lot of folks won't admit it. But ANYBODY that is normal will be at least a little nervous when they approach somebody they don't know. ESPECIALLY if this person has something. It could be a hiring manager at a networking event. It could be a famous movie star who's autograph you want. It could be a potential customer. It could be a potential romantic interest. But it is absolutely NORMAL to feel nervous when doing this. And there are two perfectly reasonable reasons for this. One is that every single human has a very rude awakening around 2 or 3 years old. That is we LEARN that expressing ourselves is dangerous. This isn't done to us on purpose. But we all have TONS of memories, hard wired in BEFORE we really became conscious, of this two step process. The first step is we have a need, so we express it. The next step is an angry adult shows up and tells us to be quiet. Since this has happened HUNDREDS of times to any normal human, we develop belief. That expressing a desire EQUALS somebody getting angry. That's the first reason. The second reason is much deeper. Genetic. Evolutionary. And that is for the HUGE majority of human history, we ONLY hung around people we knew. Only in the last few seconds of our existence on this planet has the opportunity to approach strangers ALONE been open to us. Our social instincts are NOT calibrated to deal with one-on-one interactions with strangers. This is why anything like approach anxiety is pretty much built into our system. It's also why it's so hard to get rid of. But there IS a workaround. The anxiety is strongest when we feel we are presenting OUR desires to another person. When we feel like we are asking FOR something FROM them. When it is reasonable and logical for them to say NO. Just like that deep cause effect. We ask and the adults say no. So anything that FEELS like that is going to bring up those deep beliefs. The answer is to NOT ask. At least not ask FOR something. Nearly all social anxiety involves the thought of ASKING for something and getting rejected. So stop asking FOR something. Instead, ask ABOUT something. Turn OFF your own ideas and beliefs and requests. And BECOME INTERESTED in the other person. Turns out there is very easy way to ask them a bunch of easy to answer questions. Questions that they will ENJOY answering. Since they are about THEM. And the more they answer, the better they'll feel. And they will associate that good feeling with you. And since those good feelings will be coming from inside THEM, there is no possibility of rejection. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/conversational-brilliance/
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Value can either be subjective or objective. When we humans go shopping for food, the food must be something we can digest and get energy from. To that extent, the food has objective value. Beyond that, we can choose food that we enjoy eating. Or we enjoy our state of health that the food supports. To that extent, most of the food we eat has both objective and subjective value. If you were ONLY concerned with the objective value of any food, you might be consuming something like tasteless protein shakes that had a scientifically determined combination of nutrients. On the other hand, if you were ONLY concerned with your food's subjective value, you might only eat fast food. Many of the things we do have a mix of subjective and objective value. The things we NEED tend to have a minimum amount of subjective value. Furniture, for example, has to be sturdy, even, and stable. Cars need to runs smoothly and not explode while we are driving them. But once we get the objective part settled, there is a lot of subjective leeway. Since pretty much all cars and all furniture satisfy the objective requirements, they are shopped for and sold by their subjective value. If you walked onto a car lot, for example, and the guy started by explaining exactly why driving somewhere is better than walking, you'd think you walked onto some reality comedy TV show. When it comes to subjective value, we can further separate it into conscious and unconscious. When you're staring up at the menu, you don't really spend a lot of time CONSCIUSLY deciding what you want. We more or less turn off our conscious brains, and let our subconscious decide. This happens as we slowly glance over the menu items, and wait for a "feeling" that tells us that is what we want. We even say this out loud when we are glancing over a menu in a restaurant. "I don't know what I want." It's as if we are waiting for our subconscious to TELL US (through feelings) what we want. This happens on an even deeper level when we are mingling socially. When reading from a menu, it's a clear mix of conscious and subconscious. We wait until our subconscious "pings" us and then our conscious minds take over. When were are mingling socially, that "ping" is a very slow evolving collection of feelings. When looking at menu items, it's quick and obvious. But with people, it's slow and evolving. Luckily, there's a way to significantly JACK UP your subconscious value that others will perceive. Turns out that same signals advertisers use (social proof, scarcity, etc.) to promote products can be used to "promote" yourself. Socially and subconsciously. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
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Frame is a very squirrely concept. Mainly because the frame of any situation is shifting consciously. Also because frame is very, very subjective. It's never anything that can be proven or disproven. It's very much a "might makes right" kind of thing. That term, "might makes right" tends to be associated with physical battles and quests for military power. But it's very appropriate when speaking of inter-personal frame battles. Whoever has the strongest frame will determine the outcome. Strongest is very similar to being the "mightiest." In a sense, saying that the whoever has the strongest frame will get their outcome is essentially another way of saying "might makes right." A car salesman is talking to a customer. Both have their own intention. The customer wants the cheapest price possible. The salesman wants the highest price possible. The word "might" doesn't seem to apply. Especially when they finally agree on a price, it's usually a compromise, they shake hands, and they are BOTH happy. But you could also say that their "joined frame" of cooperation over a single goal, the transaction itself, become the strongest or mightiest frame. This is what creating win-win outcomes is all about. It STILL obeys the rules of the "strongest frame" or "might makes right." Even Sun Tsu said the best way to "conquer" and enemy was to make him your friend. One of the strange ways in which the frame control idea presents itself is how we present ourselves to others. Particularly strangers, and particularly non-verbally. We all walk the earth projecting our state whether we like it or not. We are also reading the state of others as they are projecting. Since most of us are in our heads most of the time, nobody ever notices this. But there is always a TON of information being sent and received. Every time there are people around. Subconscious, non-verbal communication is ALWAYS happening. And WHAT we are communication is ALWAYS related to our "state." How we feel about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves related to the situation. In a sense, there is ALWAYS a "might makes right" frame battle going on. OUR idea of ourselves, that we are projecting, and THEIR idea of who we are, based on WHAT we are projecting. Most people don't even notice that this is happening, let alone realize that VERY MUCH of this is under our control. Because with a little practice, you CAN project a VERY STRONG frame. It's a lot like learning how to walk and move with a more confident posture. Kind of like learning to walk and move with a more confident mindset. With a little practice, the results can be astounding. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
