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There's a lot of math problems floating around online. They usually have a catchy title. Like, "90% of adults fail this third grade math problem." One I've seen a few times involves something called "order of operations." Say you've got a math problem with some addition signs, subtraction signs, multiplication signs and division signs. According to the strict rules of math, you MUST do them in the correct order. Otherwise you'll get the wrong answer. This is why many adults will "fail" those third grade problems. Because adults will FORGET the correct "order of operations." For example, consider the following math problem: 3+3x7=? You're supposed to do the 3x7 BEFORE you add the other 3. If you do them from left to right, like reading, and add the two 3s's and THEN multiply by 7, you'll get the wrong answer. But in English, this order of operations doesn't exist. It's only assumed. But this means you can have a LOT of fun. For example, say you went to a party. And somebody asked how it was. And you reported: There were a lot of pretty girls and people there. Most people would naturally assume the correct meaning. That there were a lot of people. And AMONG those people were some pretty girls. But you can misinterpret that on purpose. And assume that the group of "pretty girls" and the group of "people" are two different groups. So you might reply: "And the pretty girls, they were aliens or something?" When you learn to pay attention to the potential ambiguity in EVERYDAY speech, you can have a lot of fun. See, it's one thing to drop jokes. You say something funny, and people laugh. And then that's that. But when you purposely reframe ambiguity, it also INVITES other people to participate in. To PLAY ALONG with the joke. For example, in the pretty girls and people joke, you can EASILY go off on how "pretty girls" are a completely different species. Like they're from another planet, etc. This is the REAL SKILL of world class party humor. It's the kind of humor that can involve EVERYBODY. Not just some goof standing there hogging all the attention. And with the right inner game, you can covertly create a HUMOR CONTEST where everybody is trying to come up with the CRAZIEST examples. On whatever reframe you just dropped. All it takes is a little tweaking of how you view language. Do this and people will LOVE to have you around. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/party-hero/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/multi-levels-of-rapport/
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One of the most coveted interpersonal "feelings" is one of outcome independence. Meaning you are totally relaxed in the moment. The less you seem concerned about the outcome, the more likely you'll get a positive outcome. For example, let's consider two sales people. One is VERY HIGHLY dependent on the outcome. This guy would be extremely worried about NOT making the sale. Which would make him very aggressive trying to make the sale. He would come across as pushy and wouldn't take no for an answer. He might even get angry if customers didn't buy. On the other hand, consider a guy who didn't mind if he made a sale or not. Why would he not care? Perhaps he was truly concerned with customer satisfaction. He only wanted to sell if the customer wanted to buy. Or maybe he would get paid no matter what. One strong reason to be outcome independent is understanding the numbers. Even if somebody gets paid pure commission, the longer view they take, the easier this will be. If they KNOW, based on experience, that one out of ten will buy something, they can simply relax. Instead of seeing every customer and thinking, "I hope they buy!" they'll instead see each customer and think, "Hmm, I wonder if they'll buy." Talking to a customer from the second frame of mind would be much more relaxing. Both from the customer's and the salesperson's standpoint. The LONGER your view, the more you can see each individual interaction as a TINY part in the whole. The SHORTER your view, the more anxious you'll be. The more each and every conversation will feel like it's do or die. There are many ways to cultivate this long view. One is to have a lot of experience. Another is to practice seeing EACH interaction as a learning opportunity. This starts by looking at each interaction AFTER it happens. And using it as a source of improvement. The more you do this, the easier it gets. Pretty soon you'll develop a real time "outcome independent" feeling. Another way to look at it is where you put your focus. If you ONLY focus on the short term, you'll ONLY see the short term. Success is fantastic. Failure is horrible. But the LONGER your view, the less each interaction means. Pretty soon, no matter WHAT happens in the short term, it will FEEL like success. This will significantly increase your confidence, and your chances of success. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/long-game/
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There are a lot of common themes in movies. One very common idea in movies with a romantic theme is the odd character that finally finds somebody who "gets them." Everybody has a huge collection of ideas in our brains. But we all equally suck pretty hard at describing those ideas. The other night I was watching a documentary. And I noticed how articulately all those "common people" in the doc were explaining the situation. If you think about it, most people in documentaries, who are allegedly normal people describing un-normal things, are much more articulate that regular folks. But that's the whole point of documentaries. To give us a window into an event. But they are also commercial products. Documentaries are made by people hoping to earn a profit. For the documentary makers, it's their job. And just regular movie makers, they want to make the BEST product possible. So when they interview those "normal" people, they want to make it INTERESTING. So even though they are giving the average person's viewpoint, it is VERY practiced. They've likely been given the questions ahead of time, and have had plenty of time practicing. Many "takes" even. So they sound more articulate than most "normal" people. If you were to walk up to a random person on the street and ask them what they thought about any current event, they wouldn't be NEARLY as articulate as anybody on TV. What does this mean? That we are ALL walking around with very COMPLICATED ideas in our brains. And most of us SUCK at describing those ideas with very much detail. So how the heck are we supposed to CONNECT with other people if WE can't express ourselves very well, and THEY can't express themselves very well? The answer is actually pretty simple. The trick is to NOT worry about expressing yourself. Nor is it to put THEM on the spot and expect THEM to do all the work. The trick is to use a simple question process that helps them EXPAND what's in their mind. By asking very EASY to answer questions. That help them get MORE and MORE expressive and detailed. This also allows you to find all the SIMILAR ideas inside your brain. This makes it easy on them. This makes it easy on you. And this creates a LOT of deep connections. Deep connections that will be memorable and profound. Ones they won't find anywhere else. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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A useful statement is that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. A horse is trained to obey the rider. You pull one way, the horse goes that way. You pull the other way, the horse goes the other way. Speed up, slow down, stop, the same structure. Now, why would a horse be in front of water and NOT drink? Obviously, because he's not thirsty. Another way to express this truism is you can kind of manipulate people's actions, but you can't really manipulate their internal desires. Supermarkets and those who engineer them have been trying for years. They set up the store so we, the customers, are led wherever they want us to go. And their entire angle is to try to create buying desire. Colorful packages, enticing smells, sexy people, TV branding, etc. These are all designed to lead US to PRODUCTS and make us BUY. If you put a horse in front of water, he'll only drink if he's thirsty. Put a human in front of a bunch of products that we really don't need, and it turns out you CAN make us buy. But that only goes so far. This is only possible with a HUGE combination of VERY EXPENSIVE elements. TV advertising, lots of research and development. Training us to go to the same supermarket over and over. For individuals, it seems we're stuck with the horse model. For example, you COULD get a girl to come to your place, but this is NOT going to automatically make her want to jump your bones. You COULD convince a potential customer to let you in their house so you can give them a twenty minute product pitch. But it WON'T automatically make them desperate to buy. However, both of these are locked into the horse model. The rider of the horse gives the horse EXTERNAL stimulus that changes the horses EXTERNAL behavior. It does nothing for the horses INTERNAL desires. When you get a girl to your place, or your demo in front of a customer, it's essentially the same thing. A bunch of EXTERNAL IDEAS to move their behavior. But just like the non-thirsty horse, it won't do much for their desires. Luckily, there is a much easier way. It's based on absolutely DITCHING the idea of giving them a bunch of external ideas. And instead, carefully and slowly pulling their desires from the inside out. And making them bigger and bigger and bigger. So big they will naturally go after their desires. And with a little bit of practice, you can carefully build their desires so they'll go WHEREVER you want. And DO whatever you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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One of my favorite movie scenes is from the movie, "Man on Fire," with Denzel Washington. It's a remake of an earlier movie. Kind of a common structure. A washed up assassin takes a job baby sitting a rich family's kid. Through the relationship with the kid, the hero "re-discovers" his core truth. Then some bad guys come and kidnap the kid. The assassin regains his power and kills everybody. But one scene had Denzel's character walking along side the kid he was baby sitting as she was swimming laps in a pool. She was training for an upcoming competition. And he gave her some very sound, "assassin" advice. The advice is that contrary to what we like to believe, people DO NOT rise to the "occasion." We don't perform at above average levels when the situation demands. Instead, the assassin-hero says, we rise to our level of training. A common reframe we give ourselves is we want to do something, and then we chicken out. So instead of admitting that we chicken out, we reframe the objective. We artificially "lower" that which we were too scared to go after. We say to ourselves that we didn't "really" want that. If we REALLY wanted it, we would have "risen to the occasion." This would be like a free-throw shooter who only makes 40% during practice, and thinking he is going to make 80% during the big game. This is a fantastic movie ending, but real life is a little different. In real life if you hit 40% during practice, you're likely going to hit 40% during the games. This is made more difficult by watching highlight reels. For every bottom of the ninth home run that wins the game in stunning fashion, there are many, many more bottom of the ninth strike-outs. Consider the idea that "rising to the occasion" is a myth. A tool our self-deception uses to keep us on the sidelines. Instead, consider the reality. Than in every situation, you will rise to your level of training. So, start training. How do you "train?" Every single social situation is an opportunity. Even if you only watch others, you can train by going home and journaling. Not only what you DID but what you COULD HAVE DONE. When you imagine what you COULD HAVE DONE, you are training in new ideas. Every conversation that you have, whether it ends good or bad, is also a source of training. The more you train, the better you'll get. The better you get, the more you'll enjoy it. The more you enjoy it, the more FUN it will be to train. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/outer-protection-inner-fear/
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There's a powerful technique in the Milton Model. Of course, there are many, and this is but one. It's called the, "I'm not going to tell you..." pattern. It works because as soon as you utter those words, people's brains kind of turn down their defensive shields slightly. So if you say something like, "I'm not going to tell you to buy this product." It is a sneaky way to slip in the "buy this product" command. But it's very useful if you add on a bunch of stuff after. And that it seems like the stuff you add on after is the main part of the sentence. It's kind of like a magic trick. If you study magicians, they often to the "trick" part very early on in their routine. Then they do a bunch of talking after. If they can spit some pretty good game, the talking part is kind of a "mental cover" so you'll forget what happened before. So when they do the "reveal" it will seem much more magical. So when you use the "I'm not going to tell you..." pattern, it works the same way. You put in the command directly AFTER the "I'm not going to tell you..." and then you add on a bunch of stuff that will give them a reason to do EXACTLY what you said you weren't going to tell them to do. For example: I'm not going to tell you to BUY THIS EBOOK, because I want you to decide for yourself whether you would like to significantly increase your charisma and seductive powers. After all, many people find they don't like having gorgeous women following them everywhere and begging for sex. But you can also do this in a much subtler and more profound way. You don't ever actually SAY, "I'm not going to tell you." But you CREATE that feeling. Whenever you approach somebody, either a romantic target or a customer, it's hard to do so and pretend you aren't. If you are a guy, and you walk up to a girl in a social situation (or vice versa) it's pretty obvious what's going on. It's even MORE obvious if you are a salesperson and you approach somebody browsing in your shop. But there IS a way to approach WITHOUT any sales or romantic energy. And then through VERY relaxed and VERY subtle conversation, TURN UP their desire (buying, romantic or otherwise). And do so SO delicately they believe it is COMPLETELY their idea. They will actually believe that they are SPONTANEOUSLY feeling buying or romantic desires. For THEIR reasons. Which means there will be very little, if any, internal resistance. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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A very popular and useful book is "Psycho Cybernetics." It's one of those old school type books. Based not on metaphysical theories, but real data. It was written by a doctor. A plastic surgeon. Not the kind that builds fake boobs or younger faces. But the kind that fixes people's appearance after accidents. And he found something very interesting. He found ZERO correlation between somebody's appearance and their self image. Some people had HUGE self confidence, self image, etc., while having not so stellar looks. On the other hand, people who had FANTASTIC looks sometimes had the worst image of themselves. Of course, sometimes it was the opposite. This is what they mean when they say ZERO correlation. Just by looking at how gorgeous (or not gorgeous) somebody is, you have ZERO idea how they feel about themselves. And since Maltz (the author) was a trained medical doctor and not a metaphysician, he decided to figure out the reason. And the result was his book, Psycho Cybernetics. One of the things he found about people who have HIGH self image was that they NEVER compared themselves to others. On the other hand, people with self image troubles were ALWAYS comparing themselves to others. The only people we SHOULD compare ourselves to is how we USED to be. Because no matter HOW awesome we are, there will ALWAYS be somebody better. So comparing yourself to others will RARELY end well. Unfortunately, this is the EXACT same strategy most people use when trying to make a positive impression on others. They talk ABOUT themselves. They talk ABOUT their opinions (which they think are very clever). They talk ABOUT their dreams and accomplishments, which they believe to be better. The problem is that as soon as you operate from this mindset, you are making it very EASY for the other person to REJECT you. Because all they need to do is think of somebody who is BETTER. Of course, this strategy MAY have worked twenty or thirty years ago. Because the only people they could have compared you to were the people they actually met. But if you tried this SAME strategy on somebody with a healthy social media following? Forget it! Our modern Frankenstein social media environment makes it easy for ANYBODY to pretend they are famous. Which means trying to IMPRESS them is very, very difficult. Luckily, there is a much better way. A much easier way. One that REQUIRES face to face conversation. So no matter HOW many billions of followers they have, nobody can touch you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Everybody loves deep conversations. The kind that make you really think. The kind that stand out in your mind and your memory. Everybody would like to make an impression on others. Most do so by trying to be IMPRESSIVE. Grammatically, this makes perfect sense. You want to make an impression, so you act and speak impressively. The idea being that when the conversation is over, they'll remember you. And they'll remember you by thinking, "Wow, that guy was really IMPRESSIVE." How would you do this? Be very clever. Have a lot of interesting stories and anecdotes. Be extremely witty and humorous. Have an extremely strong frame so when they try and poke holes in it, you can easily out frame them. This is all very possible. And it is THE most common strategy. Unfortunately, while it can work like magic, it takes a LOT of practice. It's all based on YOU. And how they JUDGE you. No matter how strong of a "game" you build, you are always presenting yourself to them for approval. Because this is common, you are essentially COMPETING with everybody else who has this same strategy. So when you try to IMPRESS somebody, they are comparing you to everybody else who has tried to IMPRESS them. If you happen to BE a very impressive person, this is pretty easy. Unfortunately most of us are pretty normal. Lucky for us, there is a MUCH EASIER way. A way to leave a much BETTER impression that has NOTHING to do with you. Nothing to do with your job, your bling, your social status, or even your physical appearance. And EVERYTHING to do with how you make them FEEL. How do you do this? By focusing on STRUCTURE instead of content. Content is all the THINGS you try to impress them with. Structure is HOW they think. HOW they see the world. It's one thing to ask about them from a content level. This is essentially Dale Carnegie's advice. Talk about them instead of you. Since they are more attracted to ideas about THEM than they are about you. But when you ask about them from a structure level, it will seem incredibly deep and memorable. You'll ask them simple questions that get them thinking in ways they've NEVER done before. And because you'll be covertly eliciting their deep FILTERS, you will know MORE about them in just a few minutes than their best friends. And when you demonstrate this, they'll be more impressed with you than anybody they've ever met. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Many sales people have a common problem. It's the same problem people have when persuading anybody. If you're a guy, this "problem" comes when asking for the number. Or leaning in for the kiss. Or any type of "close." Closing can be applied to any next step. For example, if you are a salesman, you convert cold leads into warm leads by CLOSING the appointment. Then you hopefully turn warm leads into customers by CLOSING the sale. If you're a guy talking to a girl at a bar, you turn her from a "cold lead" into a "warm lead" by closing for the number. Since this is the MOST difficult part, it gets most of our attention. But in reality it should be the EASIEST part. The most NATURAL part. Think of it this way. If you are a salesperson, the client shouldn't need ANY convincing to buy the product. To them, it should feel just like buying a product on their own. They have a desire, they find the product, the grab it and head toward the register. Closing anxiety only happens when you imagine they need convincing. That they aren't quite ready to buy the product. That they aren't quite ready to give you their number. The paradox is the more worried you are, the less likely it will happen. Anxiety gives off a negative vibe. Negative non-verbal energy. The same kind of negative non-verbal energy that makes cats and dogs sketchy around you. So when you even THINK about building up to the close, you are also building up that negative energy. From the other person's perspective, while you were just chatting them up or explaining the product, you were relaxed. This, paradoxically, is when their interest is highest. The LONGER you worry about closing, the LOWER their buying temperature becomes. To a completely impartial, mind-reading, alien observer, this would seem EXTREMELY strange. There you are, with a HOT PROSPECT in front of you. But BEFORE you decide to close, you TURN DOWN their buying temperature. What's the answer? Forget about closing. Instead, focus on building as much desire as you possibly can. If you are selling anything, the customer will eventually tell you to shut up and sell it to them. If you are chatting up a guy or a girl, they will eventually close you. Because when you build desire the RIGHT WAY, they will feel stronger desire with you than they've ever felt before. And when we humans feel this, we want more. So when you can create this high level of desire in others, they will make it VERY EASY on you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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Most normal adults are terrified of public speaking. Most are MORE afraid of public speaking than death. Most normal people also have a certain amount of approach anxiety. Sure, a lot of folks won't admit it. But ANYBODY that is normal will be at least a little nervous when they approach somebody they don't know. ESPECIALLY if this person has something. It could be a hiring manager at a networking event. It could be a famous movie star who's autograph you want. It could be a potential customer. It could be a potential romantic interest. But it is absolutely NORMAL to feel nervous when doing this. And there are two perfectly reasonable reasons for this. One is that every single human has a very rude awakening around 2 or 3 years old. That is we LEARN that expressing ourselves is dangerous. This isn't done to us on purpose. But we all have TONS of memories, hard wired in BEFORE we really became conscious, of this two step process. The first step is we have a need, so we express it. The next step is an angry adult shows up and tells us to be quiet. Since this has happened HUNDREDS of times to any normal human, we develop belief. That expressing a desire EQUALS somebody getting angry. That's the first reason. The second reason is much deeper. Genetic. Evolutionary. And that is for the HUGE majority of human history, we ONLY hung around people we knew. Only in the last few seconds of our existence on this planet has the opportunity to approach strangers ALONE been open to us. Our social instincts are NOT calibrated to deal with one-on-one interactions with strangers. This is why anything like approach anxiety is pretty much built into our system. It's also why it's so hard to get rid of. But there IS a workaround. The anxiety is strongest when we feel we are presenting OUR desires to another person. When we feel like we are asking FOR something FROM them. When it is reasonable and logical for them to say NO. Just like that deep cause effect. We ask and the adults say no. So anything that FEELS like that is going to bring up those deep beliefs. The answer is to NOT ask. At least not ask FOR something. Nearly all social anxiety involves the thought of ASKING for something and getting rejected. So stop asking FOR something. Instead, ask ABOUT something. Turn OFF your own ideas and beliefs and requests. And BECOME INTERESTED in the other person. Turns out there is very easy way to ask them a bunch of easy to answer questions. Questions that they will ENJOY answering. Since they are about THEM. And the more they answer, the better they'll feel. And they will associate that good feeling with you. And since those good feelings will be coming from inside THEM, there is no possibility of rejection. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/deep-mind-persuasion/
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https://mindpersuasion.com/conversational-brilliance/
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Value can either be subjective or objective. When we humans go shopping for food, the food must be something we can digest and get energy from. To that extent, the food has objective value. Beyond that, we can choose food that we enjoy eating. Or we enjoy our state of health that the food supports. To that extent, most of the food we eat has both objective and subjective value. If you were ONLY concerned with the objective value of any food, you might be consuming something like tasteless protein shakes that had a scientifically determined combination of nutrients. On the other hand, if you were ONLY concerned with your food's subjective value, you might only eat fast food. Many of the things we do have a mix of subjective and objective value. The things we NEED tend to have a minimum amount of subjective value. Furniture, for example, has to be sturdy, even, and stable. Cars need to runs smoothly and not explode while we are driving them. But once we get the objective part settled, there is a lot of subjective leeway. Since pretty much all cars and all furniture satisfy the objective requirements, they are shopped for and sold by their subjective value. If you walked onto a car lot, for example, and the guy started by explaining exactly why driving somewhere is better than walking, you'd think you walked onto some reality comedy TV show. When it comes to subjective value, we can further separate it into conscious and unconscious. When you're staring up at the menu, you don't really spend a lot of time CONSCIUSLY deciding what you want. We more or less turn off our conscious brains, and let our subconscious decide. This happens as we slowly glance over the menu items, and wait for a "feeling" that tells us that is what we want. We even say this out loud when we are glancing over a menu in a restaurant. "I don't know what I want." It's as if we are waiting for our subconscious to TELL US (through feelings) what we want. This happens on an even deeper level when we are mingling socially. When reading from a menu, it's a clear mix of conscious and subconscious. We wait until our subconscious "pings" us and then our conscious minds take over. When were are mingling socially, that "ping" is a very slow evolving collection of feelings. When looking at menu items, it's quick and obvious. But with people, it's slow and evolving. Luckily, there's a way to significantly JACK UP your subconscious value that others will perceive. Turns out that same signals advertisers use (social proof, scarcity, etc.) to promote products can be used to "promote" yourself. Socially and subconsciously. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
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Frame is a very squirrely concept. Mainly because the frame of any situation is shifting consciously. Also because frame is very, very subjective. It's never anything that can be proven or disproven. It's very much a "might makes right" kind of thing. That term, "might makes right" tends to be associated with physical battles and quests for military power. But it's very appropriate when speaking of inter-personal frame battles. Whoever has the strongest frame will determine the outcome. Strongest is very similar to being the "mightiest." In a sense, saying that the whoever has the strongest frame will get their outcome is essentially another way of saying "might makes right." A car salesman is talking to a customer. Both have their own intention. The customer wants the cheapest price possible. The salesman wants the highest price possible. The word "might" doesn't seem to apply. Especially when they finally agree on a price, it's usually a compromise, they shake hands, and they are BOTH happy. But you could also say that their "joined frame" of cooperation over a single goal, the transaction itself, become the strongest or mightiest frame. This is what creating win-win outcomes is all about. It STILL obeys the rules of the "strongest frame" or "might makes right." Even Sun Tsu said the best way to "conquer" and enemy was to make him your friend. One of the strange ways in which the frame control idea presents itself is how we present ourselves to others. Particularly strangers, and particularly non-verbally. We all walk the earth projecting our state whether we like it or not. We are also reading the state of others as they are projecting. Since most of us are in our heads most of the time, nobody ever notices this. But there is always a TON of information being sent and received. Every time there are people around. Subconscious, non-verbal communication is ALWAYS happening. And WHAT we are communication is ALWAYS related to our "state." How we feel about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves related to the situation. In a sense, there is ALWAYS a "might makes right" frame battle going on. OUR idea of ourselves, that we are projecting, and THEIR idea of who we are, based on WHAT we are projecting. Most people don't even notice that this is happening, let alone realize that VERY MUCH of this is under our control. Because with a little practice, you CAN project a VERY STRONG frame. It's a lot like learning how to walk and move with a more confident posture. Kind of like learning to walk and move with a more confident mindset. With a little practice, the results can be astounding. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
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Long time ago I sold cars. Learned a lot about persuasion. Both sides tend to use a lot of strategies. One thing customers tend to is to leave. When done correctly, this definitely increases the motivation of the seller. Especially if it's a beginning salesperson without a lot of experience. A customer will come on and look around. The salesperson will see them, get excited. He'll talk to them for a while. Sometimes an hour or so. They'll seem pretty interested. He'll start to anticipate a fat commission. Finally they get down to brass tacks. But then they decide the price isn't right, get up and leave. This, of course, makes the sales person DESPERATE. When they are sitting their negotiation, he's planning on how he'll spend his commission. Probably wondering HOW MUCH he'll get. But as soon as they get up and leave, now he's facing the very likely prospects of ZERO COMISSION. And since ANY commission is better than zero, he'll do ANYTHING to make a sale. This is something that all humans know intuitively. The idea that whoever wants the deal the LEAST has all the power. This isn't only in sales or seduction. This is in ANY KIND of conversation, where both parties want slightly different outcomes. And unlike sales where you have to LITERALLY get up and walk away, in interpersonal conversations, it's very easy to RADIATE that same energy. Without saying anything, the other person will start to get DESPERATE. They'll be like the salesperson who is suddenly facing the prospect of getting NOTHING. And since ANYTHING is better than nothing, they'll start to become VERY generous with their side of the bargain. Most of the time, we only can radiate this "walk away energy" if we REALLY DO have a better deal somewhere else. But there are plenty of ways to shift your thinking, so you radiate that energy even if you DON'T have a better deal somewhere else. Most people try this and don't get away with it. Because it's pretty hard to fake. It's like trying to bluff when EVERYBODY can tell you're bluffing. The trick is to CONVINCE YOURSELF you aren't bluffing. To expand your thinking so that NO MATTER what the "offer" is you can imagine a better one out there somewhere. And the more REAL you make that mental image, the STRONGER your congruent, "walk away energy" will be. And the more DESPERATE the other person will be to "make a deal." Not just in sales and seduction. But everywhere. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
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A very common question when attempting to persuade is wondering what to say. Somebody has an idea of what they want from somebody else. And they imagine that outcome is going to come as a result of a verbal interaction. You SAY something, they take those words into their brain, and respond by DOING or SAYING the thing you WANT them to do or day. Most of the time this is exactly how it works. Even when ordering a beer from a bartender. Or asking for time on the street. The structure is the same. Step one, get their attention. Step two, say whatever it is you want to say. Step three, hope they respond the way you want them to. Step four, repeat from step two as many times as needed. You either keep going until you get what you want, accept a compromise, or give up. This is pretty much the strategy we learn since childhood. From delivering a one hour sales pitch to asking somebody in an elevator to hit the "three" button. But it's not the ONLY way. It's often not even the BEST way. Because there is a LOT of things we do now, that we didn't do before. And many of those things didn't involve somebody else asking us or telling us. Nevertheless, we took cues from our environment. Sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. Most of the time unconsciously. Most people never think in these terms. Most people just kind of bounce around, and let their environment shape their behavior. But if you take a step back, and see how this process works, you can understand it. You can BE that environment that operates on others. WITHOUT their conscious knowledge. So long as you do it ethically, you can slowly change their behaviors to anything you want. In fact, to those close to you (friends, family members, coworkers) you are ALREADY doing this. So all it really involves is taking something that is happening unconsciously and haphazardly, and making it conscious and deliberate. This will give you a lot more direct influence over others. In a way where they won't ever know the difference. Pretty soon you'll be able to slowly shift the behavior of ANYBODY you want. The more you imagine this, the more you can see how POWERFUL this can be. Because essentially, you will be secretly in charge of YOUR WORLD. And nobody needs to know but you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/people-training/
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Everything we do has deep reasons and surface reasons. And not from a metaphysical sense. From a purely biological, scientific sense. On a very deep level, we are driven by instincts. Every single thing we do is it satisfy one or more combinations of instincts. Hunger is the easiest to understand. Because it involves taking something physical that we can see, touch, and smell. And through the process of eating, or satisfying our deep hunger instinct, we take that STUFF from OUTSIDE of our body, and put it INSIDE of our body. And while it is INSIDE our body, our body transforms it from STUFF to ENERGY that we can use to get around. This process of eating is EXTREMELY important. As such, much of any culture is centered around this experience. But at the very core, on the deepest level, is this extremely ANCIENT instinct that drives all biological entities to GET ENERGY needed to continue to stay alive. It's unlikely the many animals besides us humans think much about eating. But how we satisfy our hunger instinct shows that there are deep reasons, and surface reasons. The deep reasons are ancient. The surface reasons are cultural, contextual, and literally INFINITE. If you get into a fight with your spouse because they got the wrong cake for a party, this is a surface level disagreement over a very deep and ancient instinct. Every single decision about every single action (past, present or contemplated) contains both elements. Deep, instinctive levels. And surface level, conscious and rational reasons. Whenever we persuade others, the more of ALL the reasons we understand and target, the better of a persuader we can be. Something as simple as eating, for example, is rarely done in isolation. There are usually social instincts being satisfied at the same time. Often there is hopefully some sexual instincts being eventually satisfied. Meaning getting together for dinner is one step in a longer intention to satisfy sexual and romantic instinctive needs. No matter WHO you are intending to persuade, the more you understand about ALL LEVELS of their unmet needs, the easier you can persuade them. Most folks ONLY focus on the surface level ideas. These surface level ideas will always need language. Because language only speaks to surface level things. But the deeper you go, the less language you need. The deeper you go, the less of their conscious minds that you need. If you go deep enough, and subtle enough, you can persuade them without EVER needing to engage their conscious minds. Meaning you can get them to do ANYTHING, and they'll never know it was you. This can lead to MANY interesting outcomes. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/people-training/
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There’s a saying in NLP that you can’t not communicate. Meaning that everything you do, conscious or unconscious, verbal or non-verbal, is a kind of communication. You are always transmitting SOME type of information. On a deeper level, you can say that we can’t not PERSUADE. Communication requires two people. Even if those two people are imaginary people living inside your head. Any data that is transmitted from one person to another is done for a REASON. That reason is to change the state of the receiver. Sometimes this is a conscious intention, sometimes it’s an automatic, and unconscious intention. Many of our communication strategies have been built into us by evolution. Since we are social creatures, we’ve evolved to always give signals to those around us. We don’t usually think of these as communication or persuasion, but they work that way. For example, if you were having a pleasant conversation with a friend, and they suddenly looked over your right shoulder with a huge look of fear on their face, you would IMMEDIATELY turn around to see what was up. They didn’t plan on communicating or persuading, but that’s what happened. As social animals, we’ve evolved to always be sending signals to one another for that reason. In the above example, this requires only ONE person in the group to spot the predator, and communicate the existence of the predator to everybody else. But more importantly, that message comes with an intention. To persuade the receiver to DO SOMETHING. When it comes to conscious persuasion, we usually think of using carefully chosen words. If you’re a little kid, this usually means repeating the request over and over until it’s fulfilled. If you’re an adult, this can be done many ways. Sweet talking your target. Using carefully worded phrases that covertly hypnotize them. Whether you are selling or seducing, words can be EXTREMELY powerful. But they have one major drawback. The idea or behavior you induce with your words will be very short lived. Every time you sell something, you’ll have to use those same words over and over. Every time you seduce somebody (either the same person each time or a different person each time) you’ll have to use carefully chosen words. Needless to say, the words you use will have to closely match the outcome you are creating. But about long term behaviors? Can you induce your targets to perform long term behaviors, not just once, but permanently? Yes you can. Of course, it takes a little bit longer. But the flip side is it’s much more subconscious. Meaning the tradeoff is you need fewer words. And once you learn how, you can train anybody to do anything. And keep doing it. Permanently. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/people-training/
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Watching actors give speeches is interesting. Especially when they are nervous. For example, if they give a thank-you speech after getting an award, they frequently rely on notes. (Assuming they don’t go off on a political tangent...) These are people that are the absolute best in the world at communicating carefully crafted words. Normally, the words are written by experts. The actors practice them over and over. When they make movies, they take plenty of takes. They record them from plenty of angles. Even the crappiest movies on Netflix are practiced and filmed and dubbed and cut together. So when you see an A-lister giving a speech, it’s always interesting to see how NORMAL they sound. It’s very easy to imagine that people actually talk like they do in the movies. But when giving a speech in front of others, even the most skilled communicators in the world are too terrified to glance away from their notes. If you ever watched politicians go off on rants, that too is very practiced. Politicians practice those rants over and over in front of staff. AND they hire professional coaches. The idea of somebody just standing up and speaking eloquently and spontaneously off the top of their head is EXTREMELY rare. Even “man on the street” interviews on the news are rehearsed. They stop a guy, and spend a few minutes going over what he wants to say, and let him practice a few times. The people that are the most eloquent persuaders are salespeople. And they are eloquent because they have the SAME conversations with the SAME people over and over. Practicing spontaneous speaking is NOT something most people consider. But it IS something YOU can practice. Funny thing is you don’t need to speak to practice. Because just like martial arts, you can practice certain MOVES over and over again. Until those individual MOVES become second nature. There are certain “moves,” or linguistic patterns that can be practiced over and over, through writing. And since practicing these will build in new neurological connections, you’ll be able to speak in these linguistic patterns. This is something very few people are aware of. Even fewer take the time to practice. So when you make this a habit, you’ll have major advantage. Whenever, and however you do your speaking. AND your writing. Writing, of course, allows you the ability to take something that is already written, already out there being read, and slowly tweak it. So it keeps getting better. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
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Everybody loves resonance. Of course, few people ever take the time to study the scientific aspects of it. But if you’ve ever had fun on a swing as a kid, you were a perfect student of resonance. Scientifically, resonance is vibrating a system with an externally applied force, where the externally applied force is the SAME frequency as the system. Kids swing their legs with the same frequency as the kid-swing system. This is how they can get such big oscillations. It’s also how a group of soldiers allegedly collapsed a bridge. Their marching cadence was the same frequency as the bridge. And they got such big oscillations, the bridge collapsed and everybody dies. Of course, this may be a myth. They tried to prove (or disprove) this on the TV show, “Myth Busters,” and were unable to. Resonance is also how you can run your fingers around the rim of a wine goblet, and get it to sing. The small jumps, due to the friction between your finger and the glass, are the SAME frequency as the wine goblet. And by varying the level of wine, you change the resonance frequency, and therefore the pitch. This is how those guys on YouTube can play music with wine goblets. Resonance is also how professionally trained singers can break glass. This is similar to the soldiers on the bridge. The soldiers marched at the same frequency of the bridge until it broke. The singer sings at the same frequency of the glass until it breaks. Humans also can have a resonance frequency. When two people “click” that’s what this means. They are on the same “wavelength.” Their energy is overlapping on many levels. This is those magical dates that start off as simple “meet and greets” and end up as marathon conversations that you NEVER want to end. Most people think these are rare and chance events. But you know better. You know that by studying the art of conversational hypnosis, you can deliberately resonate with a great number of people. And if you can create a carefully written sales page that resonates with a great number of people, you can make a HUGE amount of money. This is why doing this via text is actually MUCH easier. In a conversation, once the words leave your mouth, you can’t re-speak them. But once you’ve got a sales letter and some traffic, you can tweak it. Just like a little kid on a swing keeps tweaking his legs until he’s got the MAXIMUM oscillations. Setting up a sales page and tweaking it until you’ve got MAXIMUM conversations is basically the same process. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
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There’s a pretty cool phenomenon called “dead water.” It’s when two different layers of water are different temperatures. And they are going in separate directions. You can’t tell from the surface. You’ll be sailing along, and suddenly you’ll stop. You won’t see anything, but your boat suddenly slows down. But if you set up an experiment, where you can watch from the side, it’s clear what’s happening. Many people do things for different reasons. Often, we don’t know ourselves why we do things. There are the surface structure reasons that we tell ourselves. Then there are the deeper reasons that we sometimes know, but sometimes don’t. If you’ve ever gotten pretty close to success, but then blew yourself out, that’s why. On a deep level, you had beliefs that were incongruent with what you wanted on the surface. This is commonly called “self sabotage.” If you pay close attention to how people speak, you can actually tell what their deep beliefs are. These are the beliefs they use conversationally, but in a very subtle way. Once you train yourself, you can see these deep beliefs everywhere. So much you can understand other people MORE than they understand themselves. What you DO with this information is up to you. It can help you know who to trust, and who not to. It can help you understand what people REALLY want, and figure out how to give it to them. Even better is when you can deliberately SPEAK with these deep beliefs. Most people only speak and understand these deep beliefs subconsciously. It creates the “feelings” we get about other people. Whether we like them, trust them, or want to have nothing to do with them. Needless to say, understand how to speak in these deep beliefs is a VERY powerful skill to have. A skill this powerful takes practice. To be sure, it’s not something you’ll understand just be reading about it. But if you take the time to understand it (which is easy) and to practice it (which is easy but takes time and consistency) you will be VERY effective in all forms of communication. Speaking and writing. For any purpose. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
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They say that we’ve got to see an advertising message about six times before we take action. This is a pretty old statistic based on old advertising techniques. Billboards, TV ads, newspaper ads, etc. Things that pop up and only exist in our peripheral attention. For example, you’re sitting and watching TV, and an ad pops on. You don’t pay attention to the ad very much. So we watch ads passively like we watch most TV. There are a lot of variables that determine how well a TV ad slips into your brain. What kind of a day you are having. The interest (or lack) you have on the TV show. Wether you are putting off doing something (like the dishes) or are finished for the day. Reading long sales pages are something else entirely. The longer people read, the more their interest is held. And if you have a well written sales page, based on slippery slope technology, they’ll get more and more interested. Especially when you apply fractionation. Fractionation is a very misunderstood concept. People think it’s a quick and easy “trick” to use to seduce women. But it’s a type of covert hypnosis. It can only be used WITHIN covert hypnosis. It’s not something that can be used on it’s own. Unless you are conversationally fluent in covert hypnosis, you can’t use fractionation. It’s kind of like an advanced photoshop technique. Until you learn the basics of photoshop, you can’t learn any advanced photoshop techniques. So, what IS fractionation? It’s when you slip the reader (or listener) in and out of hypnosis. In a conversation or on a slippery slope. Every time they slide BACK INTO hypnosis, it will be much deeper. This is essentially the process of fractionation. Slowly pulling them OUT and slowly putting them BACK IN to a comfortable and pleasant state of hypnosis. Being able to do this conversationally takes a LOT of practice. But you can also do it through text. It requires a fairly long, slippery slope sales letter. But so long as they keep sliding DOWN that sales letter, if they are also sliding IN and OUT of hypnosis, you can use fractionation. So by the time they get to the END of the sales letter, it will FEEL LIKE they have been EXPOSED to the product several times. Many guys do this with girls and seduction without really knowing they are using fractionation. Meet her in one part of the bar. Take her to another part. Take her to another bar. Take her out for waffles. Done correctly, it will FEEL LIKE 4-5 dates, but in ONE NIGHT. And after four or five dates, or four or five exposures to the product, THAT is when the ACTION happens. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
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There is a lot of mythology built into any kind of self help idea. And that’s because we ourselves have a lot of inner conflicts. It’s very normal for us humans to believe two things on two different levels. Especially any beliefs that might cause us any ego damage. We keep our REAL beliefs deep below the surface. And our fake beliefs up close to our consciousness. Our real beliefs are what drive our LONG TERM actions. These deep, real beliefs are the ones that sabotage us. It’s similar in structure to a guy who has very good “short term game” but not such a great personality. Since he’s got fantastic short term game, he can do pretty well with the ladies. But after a month or two, when he runs out of “techniques” his real personality will start to show. That’s when the relationship crumbles. It’s the same for girls. Once you get past the surface level beauty, and down into her real personality, things can fall apart. For beliefs, we can try really hard on a conscious level, and have some success. But then our deep REAL beliefs will mess us up. One of the ways this surface structure belief works in self help is any idea that learning is quick and easy. This lets us believe that if we read a book, or attend a seminar, or accept any idea, it’s going to actually change our behavior. In the realm of self-help, it this seems very much true. But in other areas, this same idea would be extremely silly. Nobody thinks that by watching a bunch of videos on playing the piano would make you a fantastic piano player. Nobody thinks that by reading a book on martial arts would make you an exceptional martial artist. Both of these require lots of practice. The harsh truth about any self development is it’s EXACTLY the same. Most anything worth doing will require a lot of practice. It’s kind of like the old saying about genius. 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. For most things that will get you the stuff you want, it’s the more or less the same ratio. A little bit of learning, and a LOT of practice. The question becomes what to practice. Because if you spend a lot of time practicing the wrong thing, you’ll end up with a skill nobody wants. Which is why you should practice something that will give you a skill MANY people not only want, but will pay you a lot of money for. What skill is this? Being persuasive, both in writing and conversationally. The ideas are fairly simple. The practice is where it’s at. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
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A lot of efficiencies are built into our mind-body systems. The more you do something, the more efficient you get. This is built into our sensory systems. If you keep perceiving the same things, you’ll get much more efficient. Meaning you brain will naturally learn to perceive MORE information with LESS energy. A good example is chess players vs. non-chess players. If you take a NON chess player, and show them a chess board configuration, they’ll only remember a certain amount of data. The types of pieces, where they are, etc. But if you take an experienced chess player, they’ll look at the same board, and in LESS time, remember MORE information. BUT with a very important caveat. If the chess board is set up as if an actual game were in process, the chess player would remember it EXACTLY the way it is. Because their brains have learned to see STRUCTURES. They’ll immediately see which pieces are threatening other pieces. Which pieces have been taken. They can even recognize the actual game, if it is a famous one. But here’s the kicker. If the chess board is arranged completely randomly, so it’s NOT set up as if it were mid-game, but with the pieces truly scattered randomly around the board, the chess player won’t be able to remember ANY MORE than a non-chess player. Our brains, then, only become more EFFICIENT with respect to specific structures. So the more you learn and practice any particular structure, the BETTER your brain will get at using that structure. The more you practice, the more efficient your brain will be. You’ll see and use MORE with LESS brain energy. So, what structures should you study? Becoming a chess master would be kinda cool. But in reality, there’s not a lot of money in chess. And if you’ve ever been to a chess tournament, they aren’t exactly known for their after-parties, if you catch my drift. And chess skills can really ONLY be applied to chess. How about another common structure, that you can apply ANYWHERE? What structure is that? Language, of course. The more you CONSCIOUSLY learn and PRACTICE the specific structures of language, the more effectively you can use it. And the more effectively you can recognize it. Meaning you can USE language to implant any ideas in anybody’s brain you want. And you can RECOGNIZE language to SEE all the ideas people THINK they are hiding. This is about as close to a REAL super power that you can develop. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
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