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Found 25 results

  1. Groucho Marx famously said that sincerity is the most important thing in the world. And if you can fake it, you've got it made. A-list actors are very good at faking sincerity. This is why they get paid so much. Just looking at their facial expressions makes it seem real. The other night I watched a weird, low budget, alien, time travel movie. The acting was very good. In one scene, an actress had to look out her kitchen window, and make it seem like she was really seeing a glimpse of hell. Then she went back to normal. She had to go from a normal expression, to seeing actual hell, and then back to normal. All in a few seconds. Of course, they later put on a lot of hellish sounds and colors and shadows, but her facial expressions did all the work. If most of us tried this, it would look silly. It's why actors that suck are referred to as "wooden." Their faces don't move. Good actors, on the other hand, can conjure up any emotion they want. And for them, it's a REAL emotion. It's not uncommon for actors to have serious and long lasting trauma because of a particular role. Shelly Duvall, for example, was seriously messed up after filming, "The Shining." Plenty of other actors have some lingering side effects. This is what you'd expect. To be in a situation where you PURPOSELY conjure up REAL emotions of getting hunted by evil supernatural entities. Kind of hard to shrug that kind of stuff off. But the technique is something most of us can use. Most people expect their situation to do the work for them. For example, people try to apply Dale Carnegies advice to let others do the talking. But then they find that most other people are pretty boring. The thing is, though, that ANYBODY can let somebody else do talking if that other person is INTERESTING. Listening to an interesting person talk is NOT a very valuable skill, since ANYBODY can do it. Another common idea is to expect the external situation to help us feel safe. We don't usually think in these terms. But we behave this way. We only feel safe when we are around friendly people and friendly situations. When we are in unknown situations, or around unknown people, we don't feel nearly as safe. But this is ONLY because our "factory setting" is to let our EXTERNAL situation dictate our INTERNAL state. But we can do the same thing actors do. Create an internal state at will. And let that internally created state OVERRIDE our external situations. This is exactly what actors do when they pretend they are surrounded by demons, but in reality, they are surrounded by dudes with cameras. Of course, you don't want to pretend you are surrounded by demons. You can pretend you are surrounded by anything you want. Like friendly angels. The more you practice, the better you get. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  2. admin

    The Goldilocks Strategy

    There are two bad things that can happen if your level of skill is not correctly calibrated to your level of expectations. If you think you will get much more than your skills actually can, you'll develop a sense of entitlement. This can lead to a feeling that the world is rigged against you. You try something, expect to get a very good result, but only get a so-so result. But if you only have so-so skills, you should only get a so-so result. If you have so-so skills but expect amazing results, you'll feel cheated. The more you try, the more cheated you'll feel. This will lead you to EXTERNALIZE your frustration. This doesn't lead to an improvement of skills. Since you don't think you NEED to improve your skills. You'll develop a belief that the world is broken. The other side of mis-calibration is just as bad. If your skills are HIGHER than your expectations. You have FANTASTIC skills but you only believe you have so-so skills. This will lead you to getting results ABOVE what you think you should. This generally leads to self-sabotage. You purposely mess up so your results match what you expect. But since what you expect is BELOW what you can actually get, you keep getting good results, but then messing them up. Like they say in the Kinks song: "You get a good thing going and you blow yourself out." Of course, having an expectation that is based on your actual skills is best. It MINIMIZES frustration and MAXIMIZES growth. When this is properly calibrated, EVERYTHING will feel like doing something simple like shooting baskets. Since the basket is right in front of you, it's hard to NOT match your understanding of your skills to your results. This can be difficult to accept, especially with social skills. But if you were to measure the actual RESULTS you were getting, and used your results as the ONLY MEASUREMENT of your skills, you could improve much more quickly. Especially if you could break down all the micro-skills and practice them independently. Kind of like in sports or music. So long as you have an accurate read of your skills, and an understanding of all the micro skills and have to practice them, continuous improvement is easy and automatic. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  3. Archimedes is a famous old school scientist. One of the things he's famous for is running down the street naked. Not the naked part, but what caused his excitement. The king was worried that somebody was scamming him. He'd paid to have a gold crown made. But he wasn't sure if it was gold or copper or a mix. And since way back then (ancient Greece) they really had no way of knowing. So he gave Archimedes the task of figuring out how. And as a scientist, he put his mind to work while he did normal things. And when he got into his bathtub, he saw the water rise as he got in. This was the famous, "Eureka!" moment. When he figured out how to solve the king's problem. By putting various things in water, you could measure their volume. With weight AND volume, you would figure out the density. Since gold and copper have different densities, he could quickly figure out of the king's crown was pure gold or not. He was so excited he ran down the street naked. Another famous thing associated with Archimedes is his work on levers. He famously said, "Give me a lever long enough, and I can move the world." Lever, of course is the operational part of the word "leverage." We can easily translate his statement to mean, "Give me enough leverage and I can do anything." Whoever has the most leverage in any negotiation, for example, will generally get their way. But leverage also works inside your brain. Our body has plenty of two-sided systems. Awake and asleep. Excited and relaxed. Sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. Desire and fear. Most of the time we have a desire, but that desire is overshadowed by fear. Because fear is a survival instinct, it's usually much more powerful than it's counterpart. Which means you've got to be pretty sure things are safe before you go charging ahead. One way to kill fear is with knowledge. This is why we can enjoy scary movies. We KNOW they are fake. We KNOW that really isn't a ghost, or a demon. Another way we can leverage knowledge is by killing the "I don't know what to say" anxiety that keeps us out of conversations. Because if you are reading this, then you have TONS of information up in your. And because of the structure of your brain, you can pretty much link any idea to any other idea. This means with a little practice, you'll NEVER "not" know what to say. In fact, with enough practice, the amount of data you feel up in your brain will OVERWHELM any anxiety. The practice is easy and can be done safely at home. The more you do, the more data you'll re-discover, and the more leverage you'll have in ANY conversation. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  4. I had a roommate once who decided to get into shape. He's been out of shape for a long time. And he decided to start running. He, like most people, did way too much too soon. Next time I saw him he had ace bandages on both knees. This is the source of the famous yo-yo diet. You see yourself in the mirror and get disgusted. So you make a VOW to lose weight. You start off with TONS of motivation. But the further away in time you get from that initial burst of motivation, the harder it is to maintain. When you had the initial burst of motivation, the BENEFITS were clear in your mind. But the costs were not. The more you move forward in time, the more the costs pile up. And since the motivation was to move away from a negative, the benefits get smaller as you go forward in time. Pretty soon the costs OUTWEIGH the benefits, and you stop. Gaining back whatever you'd lost. Most people repeat this process again and again. This is common when it comes to physical fitness. The DESIRE is clear, but the costs to get that desire are not. The costs are difficult, but they don't cause anxiety. Anxiety creates a completely different set of costs. So this same process, when it happens with social skills, seems a billion times worse. You have a clear DESIRE. Maybe to become outgoing. Maybe to talk to a certain person. So long as your safely at home, it's easy to imagine the benefit. But as soon as the rubber meets the road, you feel a HUGE internal resistance. With something like weight loss, the resistance builds slowly. The costs slowly increase, and the benefits slowly decrease. But with anything social skills related, it's like a smack in the face. You could be TOTALLY pumped up in the car. But as soon as you get inside, and start making eye contact with others, that resistance is very sudden, and very strong. Losing weight is difficult. But it doesn't evoke any ancient fears of death. When you think of exposing yourself socially, it DOES. Your ancient monkey brain actually feels life threatening fear. So using the yo-yo metaphor isn't even appropriate. So, how can you get around this very common problem? By understanding it and breaking it down. To the most BASIC elements. Turns out when you just suck it up and get out there, you are combining a LOT of elements. Each of which can be treated INDIVIDUALLY. And privately. So you can slowly build them up individually and privately. Until you're ready to get out there. And when you do, it will feel natural and automatic. No sucking it up required. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  5. Most practice is easy, but boring. This is the main reason why few people do it. It's also why Napoleon Hill suggested having a "burning desire" was necessary. If you had a passive interest in learning the piano, for example, that passive interest wouldn't enough. You'd give up (like many people) rather quickly. Before you started practicing, it might seem pretty cool when you imagine being able to PLAY the piano. But the more you practiced, the more the REAL COSTS of being able to play would add up. When you imagine being able to play, you don't really have an accurate idea of what having that skill would cost. Both the direct costs (the daily boring practice) and the opportunity costs (the stuff you were missing out on). But if you had a BURNING DESIRE to play, that would take you through. For example, imagine if somebody gave you a very complicated piece of sheet music, and told you if you could play it perfectly, from memory, within a year, he'd give you a billion dollars. Most people would be pretty motivated to practice every day. So they could get the billion dollars. With regular skills, you can BUILD UP the burning desire by taking time to IMAGINE all the good things that will come when you get the skills. You need to do this, or else the costs will outweigh the benefits. So long as you take the time to BUILD the benefits to BURNING DESIRE level, you'll be OK. But this ONLY works with non-social skills. Why? Because social skills introduce another idea into the mix. Namely, social anxiety. So not only do you need to practice, but the practice itself is VERY UNCOMFORTABLE for most people. It creates a TON of anxiety for most people. And when your brain is feeling anxiety (rather than boredom) it's very hard to learn ANYTHING. This is why practicing social skills, compared to practicing music or sports, is something few people ever think of. But guess what? There are some aspects of social skills that you can practice AT HOME. And practicing these ARE boring. So you'll learn them much quicker. And there is a huge BENEFIT to doing this. Because practicing these skills at home will REDUCE your anxiety. They do so by building up the other side of the anxiety. And once they are relatively EQUAL to the strength of anxiety, the anxiety will vanish. And once you get to that level, the idea of "practice" will be self sustaining. Talking to interesting people and making them laugh and smile is IMMEDIATELY rewarding. Playing the scales over and over and over and over again, not so much. The trick is to practice these social skills AT HOME, until the anxiety is gone, and then practicing with other people will be natural, easy and INSTANTLY rewarding. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  6. The body comes with a lot of systems that compliment one another. For example, there is part of our system that excites us, and gets us ready for action. And there is an equal and opposite part that calms us down, and gets us ready to relax and recharge. Very much like night and day. Two seemingly opposite sides of the same system. When you eat, it's common to become sleepy. It's kind of a shift from being outwardly focused and excited, to inwardly focused and relaxed. We can imagine how it might have helped our ancient ancestors. When they were hungry, this spurred them to action. To go looking for food. Once they had found food and had eaten, they got sleepy, so their bodies could digest the food. You'll find these sympathetic systems everywhere. A lot of half to do with what we think and how we think. For example, a common sticking point for having relaxing conversations is not knowing what to say. At its extreme, it KEEPS US from even starting a conversation. But it also pops up in the middle. Unexpectedly. You could be having a friendly conversation and then out of nowhere, your brain freezes. Those uncomfortable and awkward silences can RUIN an otherwise decent conversation. Luckily, there's a relatively easy solution. And that is to TRAIN your brain to think laterally. Meaning you can do some simple exercises to practice the "art" of thinking of tangential topics. That way you can keep conversations going a LONG time. The truth is there is TONS of information ALREADY in your brain. And unless you are having a conversation in a Soviet Prison with gray concrete walls, there are TONS of things going on around you. So you've got tons of info OUTSIDE your brain, and you've got tons of info INSIDE your brain. All you've got to do is practice making connections. This exercise is very much like physical exercise. You won't get much benefit if you only do it once or twice. But it only takes a few minutes. And if you get into the habit of doing it DAILY, you'll soon be a conversational powerhouse. This ONE exercise can build up the brain skills to use the EXISTING information in your brain, and become a conversational POWERHOUSE. Even if you suffer some social anxiety, this will soon overcome that. Once you have plenty of stuff to talk about, that KEEPS COMING without you needing to think, this data itself will overwhelm any anxiety you have. This will make your ideas seem so big, they almost get out of your head on their own. Overpowering any social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  7. Quantum physics is often thought of as mystical. It's also used to describe mystical things. But in reality, it's actually pretty simple. In English grammar, there is countable nouns and uncountable nouns. Countable nouns are things like penguins, bananas, and carne asada burritos. I went to the zoo and saw a lot of penguins. How many penguins? Seventeen penguins! Damn dude, that's a lot of penguins! On the other hand, there are uncountable nouns. Things that you can't count. Like water. I went to the ocean and saw a lot of water. How much water (not "how many water")? A lot of water. Penguins you can describe with numbers. Water you can't. You can count the containers of water, but not the water itself. Once upon a time, scientists thought ENERGY was an uncountable noun. But it turns out they were wrong. Energy is countable. It comes in discrete packets. Just like penguins. You can't have a penguin and a half. Nor can you have a "unit" of energy and a half. And as you have already guessed, the word "quantum" is from the same root as the word "quantity." So in a very real, very LITERAL way, "quantum physics" is really the SAME as "countable physics." But since "quantum" is a word most people don't use, it sounds mystical and cool. Quantum healing. Quantum hypnosis. Etc. Swap out the word "countable" for quantum and it sounds pretty same. "Hey dude, I invented a new form of hypnosis. Called countable hypnosis!" "Uh, like count from ten down to one? Dude, that's been around for a while..." So, why all this talk about quantum penguins? Because many skills are much easier to learn if you break them down into their most basic components. Or their "quantum level." Meaning the smallest part that you can actually practice. Many people do this already. Learning to play the piano, for example, you start off by doing simple scales. Then simple chords. Then reading simple notes in simple keys. Smaller building blocks are easy to practice. And once you've got a lot of these smaller building blocks mastered, they can add up to some cool stuff. Having a lively and memorable conversation with somebody is comprised of many of these smaller, "quantum level" skills. And each one you can practice on your own. In the privacy of your own home, or your own brain. Once these smaller chunks are strong enough, you can combine them in very interesting ways. Ways that will make you a much more POWERFUL conversationalist. Without EVER feeling any social anxiety. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  8. There are many myths about fear. One common and very old one is that if you "do the thing you fear, the death of fear is certain." The problem with ideas like this is they SOUND fantastic. But they are very hard to verify one way or another. We like them because they feed the deeper idea that if we REALLY wanted to do something, we could. That "just" on the other side of that "fear" is everything we could ever hope. Just on the other side of that fear is relationships, money, love, success, fame, etc. We're just not quite "ready" yet to face our fears. But because we KNOW (allegedly) that once we face our fears, we'll kill our fears, that everything after that will be smooth sailing. Only problem is that statement is false. But after we understand WHY it's false, the REAL truth is actually much better. Fear causes a lot of negative emotional energy. As a natural response, the body produces OPPOSITE energy. This is WHY people love things like skydiving and bungee jumping. After the AUTOMATIC fear response, their body is FLOODED with powerful endorphins. Those endorphins feel FANTASTIC. That's why they go skydiving. But here's the thing. If facing your fears REALLY DID end the fear, then nobody would go skydiving a second time. The first time, you would face your fear of heights. And once you faced it, the fear would DIE, according to that idea. Unfortunately, what that idea is describing "the death of fear is certain" is a simple, biological-neurological process. That same fear-endorphin response happens EVER TIME. You're not "killing" anything. You're purposely putting yourself in a situation where your body will produce a chemical that will give you a quick HIGH. Because this happens EVERY SINGLE TIME, the fear-endorphin response happens EVERY SINGLE TIME. The same things happen when guys do "cold approaches." Walking up to a gorgeous woman, and asking for the phone number. Sure, if you do it a bunch of times in one day, it will slowly feel natural. But go a few days without doing it, and you've got to start from scratch. This is why both men and women who find themselves back on the dating market ALWAYS feel they are starting over. This "starting over" feeling would be IMPOSSIBLE if you "killed" the fear. So what's the good news? Fear of heights is GENETIC. You can't undo it. Most other fears are LEARNED. Which means you can unlearn them. SLOWLY. And it turns out there are a lot other COMBINATIONS like the fear-endorphin response. And by turning up the OTHER SIDE of social fears, the fear will diminish on it's own. Once the other side is STRONGER than the fear energy, the fear energy WILL vanish. This can be done without EVER facing those fears. But instead by slowly and consistently doing exercises that will COUNTERACT that fear. And since these exercises can be done by yourself, you NEVER need to "face" your social fears to overcome them. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
  9. admin

    Become A Wizard

    One thing we humans have better than any other animal is flexibility. For example, we have a ton of muscles. And if you work your muscles, they will get stronger. This is obvious. From a bio-engineering standpoint, this allows for an increase in efficiency REGARDLESS of what type of work a human would do. This allows for ancient humans to live in ANY environment, figure out what they needed to do, and do it. The more they did that, the more those specific muscles would strengthen and become much more energy efficient. Farming, climbing trees to get coconuts, hunting. Another area where we are extremely flexible is in our thinking. Every other living thing takes THOUSANDS of years to adapt to its environment. Humans can do it much quickly. Because we have a flexibility of thinking. Instead of evolving claws, we make tools. Instead of evolving extra hair, we make clothing. Every thing we have is born of this "meta creativity" and "meta flexibility." The thing that makes a critical difference is communication. We can take vague ideas inside our brains and transfer them from one brain to another with words. And just like our physical bodies, you become better at whatever you practice. If you run every day, you'll eventually be able to run a LONG WAYS without getting tired. If you do pushups every day, you'll eventually be able to do plenty of pushups. If you practice music every day, you'll soon be a skilled musician. If you practice communication every day, you'll soon be a world class communicator. But here is where the problems start. Practicing many things is very straightforward. Keep doing it until you get better. Running, pushups, sports, music, all these are easy to measure. Easy to see if you are getting better. But what about communication? How do you practice this? How can you measure if you are getting better or not? What makes it even worse is even the IDEA of "practicing" something like communication causes anxiety in most people. Sitting at the piano and playing scales for a couple of hours is easy. It might bore you to tears, but it doesn't cause anxiety. Nobody is afraid of getting yelled at by a piano. But talking to people every day, just for practice? That sounds downright silly! Luckily, there are plenty of components to communication. Inner game and outer game. And plenty of ways practice that DON'T involve other people. AND plenty of ways to measure how much better you are getting. And even better, once you start to get some POSITIVE feedback from others, you'll be on your way. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/conversational-brilliance/
  10. If you were going to bake a cake, it would be pretty easy. At least if the recipe was simple. But even simple recipes can get complicated. The best chefs spend years learning their craft. The more complicated something is, the more time it takes to learn. The more room for error there is. And the more valuable high level skills are. Which is exactly why world class chefs make tons of money. They can create things that few other people can. Anything that is world class involves a lot of different ideas. You start by doing what you're told. Beginning artists have to master some very basic skills. Only when ALL the basic skills have been mastered can they start to create things from scratch. Some things are matters of pure determination, and very little creative talent. For example, if you wanted to become a world class marathoner, you could spend your time doing very basic things. Eating a very measured diet. Spending your time doing very specific things. Creative ability wouldn't come into play. Other areas may create a LOT of creative talent, and not a lot of athletic type perseverance. The more you rely on other people telling you what to do, the less you'll need creative talent, and the more you'll need old school resilience and dedication. If you wanted to be a world class athlete, for example, you could hire a team of coaches and follow their instructions EXACTLY. On the other hand, if you wanted to be a world class artist, you wouldn't get very far by expecting to be told what to do. Life is much more of an artistic creation than a race. Meaning the type of life you CREATE is much more up to you than you realize. Unfortunately, many people don't realize this. Or they are terrified. Most people are DESPERATE to be told what to do. The more you rely on other people telling you what to do, the less original your life will be. But many people are willing to forego ANY chance of greatness in exchange for a stable, although boring, life. Greatness takes risk. Greatness takes courage. Greatness takes time and perseverance. Most people can follow directions. But following directions won't generally get you much. Inside the comfort zone is safety. Outside is where everything is. Everything worth going after. What will you do? Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  11. Self sustaining cycles are everywhere. Unfortunately, when they affect us humans, we tend to not notice. For example, if you are in a good mood, you will behave in a certain way. Your behavior will elicit positive behavior from others. You'll smile, they'll smile back. You'll broadcast positive body language, and they'll reciprocate. This creates a very good mood. The opposite is just as possible. If you're in a foul mood, and you broadcast foul body language and non-verbal communication. They reciprocate, and the cycle continues. Most people don't recognize this. Most people walk the Earth completely oblivious to this never ending back and forth. Large, positive and external events can have a huge impact. If an external event is strong enough, it can completely reverse this cycle. A strong enough negative event can shift you from a good mood to a bad mood. A strong enough positive event can shift you from a bad mood to a good mood. Many people interpret these randomly occurring, external events, as being "lucky" or "unlucky." Kind of like a boat just drifting and hoping to catch a "lucky" current and avoid an "unlucky current." Imagine if you are in a boat that was on a large lake. On one side was a huge party. On the other side was a waterfall into sharp rocks. And you believed that it was completely up to the gods of luck which way your boat drifted. And even if you started drifting towards the waterfall, your only response would be to curse the gods. Pretty silly, especially when you realize that the boat in this metaphor has an engine that can steer you anywhere. Like away from the waterfall and toward the party. We are all like the boat. But most of us haven't discovered our engine. The engine that can KEEP US in a good mood REGARDLESS of what's going on around us. And that good mood will make us VERY ATTRACTIVE to those around us. Sure, external events CAN impact our inner state. But you can also learn to CONTROL your inner state. And make it strong enough so that only YOU can control your inner state. Making you more attractive than ever. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  12. If you saw a gorgeous girl or guy from across the room, you'd remember them. The more gorgeous they were, the more you'd remember them. But you would REALLY remember them if they looked at you and smiled briefly. In fact, just a little bit of direct, non-verbal communication, no matter how brief, would be MUCH more powerful than just their looks. You can imagine a gorgeous person who doesn't notice you. And a semi-attractive person who looks RIGHT AT YOU and smiles before looking away. You would definitely remember that. The longer and more involved that interaction is, the MORE you would remember them. And the less their physical appearance would be a variable. To be sure, they have to be above a certain level of attraction. This is very personal and subjective. But so long as it's above this point, the MORE effort they put into personal communication, the less important their physical appearance would be. People like Victoria's Secret models can skate by on ONLY their looks. They walk into a room and don't need to make eye contact with ANYBODY to leave a lasting impression. But for most of us normal humans, we have to AUGMENT our physical presence with our energy. This energy is the sum total of all our non-verbal communication. The stuff we are radiating all the time. This energy we radiate is VERY dependent on our mental state. We can do a mental experiment to see this. Imagine you were about to walk into a party. You were in the hallway of an apartment building, and JUST ABOUT to open the door and walk in. RIGHT BEFORE you turned the knob, two sexy super models came out of the elevator, walked past you and looked at you like they wanted to bang you silly. (Or imagine another appropriate situation). How would this impact your mood as you walked into the party? You'd be confident, smiling, much more extroverted. This would impact how you made others feel, which would further enhance your good mood. Your internal state (cause by the chance meeting with the super models) would significantly enhance your non-verbal communication. Now imagine the opposite. Same two models, but as they walk past you, they look at you like you're dirt. Suppose you try and smile at them. They recoil in horror, and say something like: "Don't DARE look in my direction you worthless human! You're not even fit to clean my toilet when I'm on vacation in the South of France!" This would impact your party experience in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION. Your inner state, and your outer energy, would be HORRIBLE. You'd be radiating anger and frustration, and nobody would want anything to do with you. Suppose you could walk the Earth with a CONSTANT positive internal state? As if you have ALWAYS just had a recent positive super model experience? How would THAT affect your life? It's actually pretty easy with some consistent mental practice. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  13. Some things are easy, and other things are not. Some things start out as difficult, and become easy. These are things that we practice. This is pretty self evident, and it almost seems so obvious that it's not even worth mentioning. But sometimes we overlook such simple ideas. Much to our demise. If you started to play any sport, and you sucked, that would be normal. Because most people suck when they start most things. But the more you practice, the better you get. We all get this intuitively. Once a couple of friends and myself were watching a live performance. The guitarist was absolutely killing it. My friend remarked, "That guy's gotta sleep with his guitar!" Meaning he assumed that to get to that high level of skill, he must spend a lot of time with his guitar. So much that he sleeps with it. Nearly any skill we think of, we think of in this way. That the more you practice, the better you get. Except for the most important skills. Unless you are expecting to be a world class musician or athlete, most normal humans practice sports and music as hobbies. Few people will ever be able to quit their day jobs to pursue their hobbies as careers. But we still enjoy practicing. Because it feels GOOD to get better at something. But the things that get us the MOST IMPORTANT things in life are things we DON'T practice. Things like conversation skills, persuasion skills, people reading skills, confidence projecting skills. We tend to think of these things like height or eye color. Based one hundred percent on genetics. If you walked into the gym and hired a personal trainer with the specific goal of becoming TALLER, he'd think you were nuts. But we very much CAN change much of our personality. The main reason we don't like to think in terms of specifically doing exercises to improve our personality is twofold. One, it seems "fake." We imagine doing something that's not genuine. Not really the real "us." The other reason is it's scary. We imagine walking up to somebody and speaking in a particular way, and we imagine them looking at us like we're some kind of sociopath. But in reality, plenty of people work on their personality all the time. Back in the day, many girls would go to "charm school." Men didn't quite have the same thing, but older men would teacher younger men how to properly "behave" so they wouldn't send the wrong message. If you were taking a class in public speaking, to specifically increase your earning power, that would be exactly the same thing. And the idea of the real "you" is a myth. Because the real "you" is a sum total of every single thing you experience. Which means the real "you" is always changing. And since it's always changing, why not CONSCIOUSLY change it in a direction that can make life EASIER and more ENJOYABLE? And not just for you, but for everybody that is lucky enough to interact with you? Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  14. Humans seem to have an instinct to keep improving. This is pretty obvious when you compare technology now to only a few decades ago. It's also pretty obvious when you compare old people to young people. Simply by being around, you get more experience. Even passive experience will teach you things. Most people go through some kind of educational system. Our brains are even created so we are born with less than developed brains. We have an instinct to soak up as much information as we can. Next time you have a chance, watch people in line at the supermarket. If you see any young children, they will be moving their heads and eyes and if they can, their bodies. They are in the "collect data" mode of their lives. Their little brains are RAVENOUS for information. Adults on the other hand, will tend to be either staring blankly into space or blankly at their device. The older we get, the less AUTOMATIC our "hungry for data" brain gets. But just because it's not automatic, doesn't mean it's not possible. Your muscles stop growing on their own past a certain point. But even a dude over sixty can start lifting, and show obvious results. Both brains and muscles CAN be continuously improved. The older you get, the more effort it may take. But it is JUST as possible. But there's one thing people RARELY consider as something they can strengthen. But it's JUST as "strengthen-able." And that is your personality. Our personality is kind of like our musculature system. Both are designed to respond NATURALLY to our environment. If you started working in the fields, for example, your muscles would NATURALLY respond to make that work easier and more energy-efficient. If you got a job in a shoe store, your PERSONALTY would naturally respond to make those interactions more natural and energy-efficient. Just like you can CONSCIOUSLY target certain muscles, you can CONSCIOUSLY target certain areas of your personality. And just like somebody with a well built and sculpted muscle system is more attractive, a person with a well-built and sculpted personality is more attractive. Both systems behave the same way. The more effort you put in, the more benefits you get out. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  15. A common and very old expression is "to know me is to love me." This is kind of opposite of the "love at first sight," idea. Love at first sight means you SEE somebody, and you INSTANTLY fall in love. Or course, this is kind of impossible. It's a nice idea, but it's usually not one that is "true" until any couple has been together for a while. It usually goes down like this. A couple meet, and they hit it off. They like the way they look. They like the way they make each other feel. They click deeply and quickly. They go on a few dates, and maybe after a couple of months, they move in together. And then they get married, have a couple kids, and grow old together. Much later, they will REMEMBER this as "love at first sight." But that idea, of falling in love, didn't HAPPEN at one instant in time. It took a while. Of course, the emotional feelings were there from the beginning. But WHEN, exactly, those feelings TURNED INTO love is not certain. But with a ton of fond memories, and with the help of hindsight bias, it FEELS like it really WAS love at first sight. But imagine if EITHER PARTY had actually said, when they first met, "I love you! Let's get married, have kids, and grow old together!" The other would have fled. So it wasn't REALLY love at first sight. Even something that FEELS like love at first sight takes time. But what about the other statement? "To know me is to love me." This implies that you DON'T love them when you first see them. That the MORE you get to know the, the MORE you love them. This IMPLIES that what it is that you DO love about them is NOT about their looks. Most couples that end up growing old together are MUCH MORE like the second statement. Most couples date for a couple of YEARS before they get married. It takes that long to get to know somebody. We humans are VERY complicated. So, what about that part of you that they need time to get to know? Can you make THAT PART of you "more lovable?" Of course you can! That part of you that is deeper than your appearance is VERY MUCH under your control. This part of you involves your confidence, your short and long term goals, your intelligence, you communication skills, your social skills, and plenty of other PERSONALITY traits. All of which can be STRENGTHENED just like a muscle. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  16. One very common excuse for NOT starting a conversation with somebody is that you don't know what to say. This makes complete sense. It feels natural. You are standing there, maybe even getting positive signals. It doesn't even have to be a big deal. It could just be a random conversation with a random person. Not for any reason other than to pass the time. But since you CAN'T think of something to say, you don't say anything. Again, this makes perfect sense. But it's also an absolutely false idea. The idea you need to think of something to say BEFORE you start a conversation. Sure, you need to BREAK THE ICE. But breaking the ice and saying something interesting are two completely different things. In fact, the more of an interesting and witty thing you say, the LESS LIKELY you'll get a proper response. The opposite is also true. The EASIER the thing is that you say first, the easier it will be for them to response. Now, in SOME situations, this isn't true. If a super gorgeous woman is sitting on her throne in the corner of the club, and dude after dude is approaching her, THAT is when you need to come with a powerful opener. But every other time, SIMPLER is always better. But even MORE important than what you say, is HOW you feel underneath. Less than 10% of communication is verbal. So if you say something that is really, really, simple, but you have SOLID energy underneath, that will "work" incredibly well. What, exactly does "work" mean? Think of it like a sales letter. How are sales letters written? Like a slippery slope. The PURPOSE for each sentence is to get you to read the next sentence. Sales letters DON'T start with a powerful close. So when you start a conversation, and you sound like you are trying to close, you'll come across like a sleazy sales person. Instead, think of every conversation you have like a sales letter. Everything you say has the purpose of getting them MORE interested in the conversation. So the EASIER you start off, the better. The LESS you worry about the words, the better. The MORE you build up positive, NATURAL energy, the better. Guess which sales letters are the VERY BEST? The ones that are selling very HIGH QUALITY products. The kinds of products that sell themselves. These products are EASY to sell. When the words don't really matter at all. When you build up your genuine personality, the words you say will also not matter much. Because YOU will be the product that sells itself. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  17. There's a concept in economics called the law of diminishing returns. For example, imagine if you are really looking forward to a delicious meal. The first bite is going to be fantastic. And the first couple of bites after that will be equally fantastic. But pretty soon, each subsequent bite will become less and less fantastic. And if you aren't careful, and you keep eating, pretty soon the bites won't be fantastic at all. It's called diminishing returns because you keep doing the SAME ACTIONS. Namely, putting the same piece of food into your mouth, chewing, and swallowing. But each subsequent time you do that, you get less and less return. Another example would be if you had a week's vacation. The first day would be fantastic. But each day would be slightly less fantastic. For one, because each day is becoming more and more familiar. And the end is getting closer and closer. This reason, diminishing returns, is why some relationships can get stale. Especially if they are based primarily on looks. Imagine, for example, you got together with somebody who was "out of your league." The first few times you were alone with them, it would be fantastic. But each time you would become MORE familiar with them. So the excitement would slowly wear off. This is what happens to serial monogamists. The beginning of relationships are always wonderful. But pretty soon, that magical feeling tends to fade. And ALL you are left with is compatibility. The MORE compatible you are, the longer your relationship will tend to last. The LESS compatible you are, the more ANY relationship will fall prey to the law of diminishing returns. This, of course, works both ways. Plenty of women get by on their looks, at least in the beginning. But men do the same thing. Especially when they practice short term strategies to increase attraction. If you don't have an attractive personality under your exterior (polished game or natural beauty) the law of diminishing returns will never be far behind. On the other hand, if you get into the habit of keep your personality healthy and attractive, you will always be attractive. Especially if you think of your personality like most people think of their health. Necessary to GET in shape, and necessary to KEEP in shape. Since so few people think of personality like this, once you start doing some simple personality exercises, you will stand out. Not just in the beginning, but for as long as you live. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  18. It sucks to be a hot chick. At least that's what they say. And it makes sense on many levels. For one, everywhere you go, dudes are looking at you and dreaming of banging the crap out of you. Most people assume that ALL you've got is a hot body and a pretty face. In a way, gorgeous people (both guys and girls) end up with a bit of a personality handicap. This isn't done on purpose, it just happens. If you go through life with an exceptionally good looking set of features, you don't have to do as much work as everybody else. It would be possible to get by with less effort than everybody else. This isn't fair, and nobody really likes to talk about this stuff. But study after study shows that attractive people get better attention than unattractive people. In the short term, it is definitely a plus. But in the long term, it add up to some personality deficiencies. This isn't meant to slam attractive people. Only to understand that although on the surface they seem to have an advantage, in the long run that can easily add up to a disadvantage. Of course, plenty of attractive people are intelligent enough to know that skating by on ONLY their looks is very dangerous. Because looks WILL fade with time. Plenty of young, hot, up and coming actors are now ten, twenty years older and NOWHERE to be found. In a sense, if you AREN'T particularly blessed in the looks department, that's actually a good thing. Because most of the time, we humans are pretty lazy. Meaning we don't really do much until we have to. This is essentially the story of human history. Humans are cruising along, some calamity happens and FORCES them to invent something new. And that something new ends up sending society up a notch or two. Making life better than it was. On a personal level, if you DON'T have good looks, you have to get by on your smarts. And there are a LOT of ways you can increase your non-physical traits. It IS very true that personality goes a long way. Or at least it CAN go a long way. Most people don't realize this because they don't realize that personality can be STENGTHENED and ENHANCED. Just like a muscle. If you do the right exercises, pretty soon you'll have some clear evidence. Personality works the SAME way. If you do the right exercises, pretty soon you'll have some clear evidence. And then you'll know EXACTLY how personality can go a long way. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  19. Sometimes when you meet somebody you just click. This is usually thought to be a very rare, once in a lifetime experience. First dates that were scheduled for an hour but lasted all night. People that you meet, have a conversation with that go on for hours. One of the ways that illustrates how we think about things is how we use nouns. All things are nouns. But some nouns are real things, and some nouns are imaginary things. One way to tell a real thing from an imaginary thing is the wheelbarrow test. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow, it's real thing. (You might need a pretty big wheelbarrow..) If you CAN'T put it in a wheelbarrow, it's NOT a real thing. It is an intangible thing. One specific TYPE of intangible thing is a nominalization. These are nouns made from verbs. Like "communicate" is a verb. Communication is a noun made from the verb. But that noun, "communication," is NOT a real thing. It fails the wheelbarrow test. How we humans think about these things is illustrated by how we use those things in a sentence. The main clue is the prepositions we use with those things. For example, think of the intangible noun, "trouble." How do we think of that? As a container. How do we know it's a container. Because we are "IN" trouble. We are IN containers. Another container, which is the OPPOSITE of trouble is love. That is another thing we are IN. But HOW we get in love is also interesting. We FALL in love. It happens unexpectedly. This goes back to those conversations we have with others where we unexpectedly CLICK. Why, specifically does that happen? We push each others buttons. When you click with somebody you are pushing their pleasure buttons. And when you push their pleasure buttons, it makes them behave in a way that pushes YOUR pleasure buttons. Because our pleasure buttons, and how we behave when our pleasure buttons are pushed, are both functions of our personality, the trick is to FIND SOMEBODY that has enough overlap. There are a couple ways to INCREASE the likelihood of this happening. One is to simply meet more people. The more people you meet, the more chances you'll have. Another is to study human communication. To be more consciously aware of how to notice and how to consciously push peoples buttons. This works very well, but it takes time. Another is to build a more attractive personality. So just by showing up you will AUTOMATICALLY push other people's pleasure buttons. Mostly with your subconscious, non-verbal communication. Which means they will ALL naturally want to push YOUR pleasure buttons. All you'll need to do then is pick the best one. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  20. admin

    Personality Halo Effect

    It's a pretty common idea that sex sells. Put a gorgeous model next to a toaster, and you'll sell more toasters. How this works isn't really understand. Mainly because most people don't think about these things. They're too busy thinking about the model. A common misunderstanding is that there's an implied relationship between the toaster and the model. This is more pronounced when models or sexy ladies are used to promote cars and alcohol. The idea being that the car or the brand of beer will lend itself to "girl getting lifestyles." This is false. It's much more subconscious. The sexy models invokes certain unconscious feelings. In both men and women. Those unconscious feelings of attraction and desires are then attached to the product. This is essentially the halo effect. When a sexy lady is standing next to a toaster, her sexy "aura" is also kind of surrounding the toaster. But this is an incorrect metaphor. The "aura" isn't coming from her. It's coming from the OBSERVER. The observer sees the sexy girl, and the OBSERVER creates a strong feeling of desire. And that "desire" energy that is pointing at the sexy girl ALSO hits the toaster. But if a normal person looks at a sexy girl, and there isn't a toaster, whatever she is saying or doing will also be hit by the OBSERVER's "desire energy." So when sexy people talk, the stuff they are saying is elevated just like the stuff that sexy people sell is elevated. Only it happens organically, so nobody really notices. But the thing about the halo effect is it's really shallow, and short lived. It only works on stuff that doesn't matter so much. A sexy girl on TV next to a car might get you into the shop, but it will take a lot for you to buy the car. A sexy girl talking on YouTube might hold your interest. But studies show again and again that when we choose more important things, the halo effect is worth less and less. This is why it's not such a big deal if you aren't one of the genetically blessed, pretty people. Because you can build up a halo effect associated with your personality. And unlike physical appearance, where there's only so much you can do, you can increase and enhance your personality as much as you want. So much that after just a few moments of interaction, YOU will be much more compelling that any genetically blessed pretty person. And the MORE they interact with you, the MORE they'll be attracted. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  21. The halo effect is an interesting phenomenon. It exists and has been proven through various studies. But it's also something that nobody benefits by admitting. If you are particularly attractive, the last thing you want to do is chalk up any success to your looks. If you want to make an attractive person angry, tell them they are ONLY successful (or even partially successful) due to their looks. But normal looking people also don't like to acknowledge the halo effect. That would mean since we normal folks aren't gorgeous, we'll be limited. The good news is that plenty of studies also show some interesting things about physical beauty. Physical beauty is enough to get attention. And it's enough for things that aren't that consequential. But the more that is riding on any given relationships, the LESS physical appearance starts to matter. Studies of the types of women that men choose for partners illustrates this. In one long-ranging study, they found that for short term flings, men only really care about looks. But for long term relationships, (families, children etc.) looks were not very important. This very good news. Because if you are attractive, and that's all you've got, the clock is always ticking. All your other characteristics can only get BETTER with age. When it comes to any individual, we can think of three different categories. Inner game, outer game, and looks. Looks matter only in the short term. Next is outer game, how they behave, communicate, and interact with others. The most important is inner game. Intelligence, sense of confidence, short term and long term goals, etc. Inner game drives outer game. So if you only work on building up inner game, outer game will be easy. And looks will be unimportant. Inner game is kind of like a muscle, but better. Meaning if you started to exercise your muscles, the more you exercised them the stronger they'd get. Up to a point. After a certain point, you'd start get diminishing returns. Consider jogging, for example. At first, it might take a while just to jog a mile without stopping. Then you might shoot for jogging a mile in under ten minutes. Then eight minutes. Then six minutes. But pretty soon, the more work you put in, the less results you'd get. But with inner game, there is no limit. Since it's all built on mental strength, which can be increased infinitely. The more you put in, the more you get out. This means the longer you live, the better you get. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  22. Long time ago I used to sell cars. It was fun, but also a pain. A pain because the hours sucked, and most of the time you were standing up. The cool part was negotiating with customers face to face. Especially if they enjoyed the process as much as the sales person. Even before I ever got into sales, I loved to haggle. And in any sales job where haggling is involved, there are ALWAYS going to be strategies. Some people, that sell their own stuff from their own shop, know the VERY BEST sales strategy. It's intuitive and natural. And that is to be selling the VERY BEST product available. For people who learn persuasion to sell other people's stuff (which is 99.9% of sales people) it's all about techniques. Building value, adding on ideas like scarcity, social proof, commitment and consistence, etc. For most sales people, they have an idea of a product FIRST, and then try to add all those other persuasion ideas SECOND. Then they try and frame the message so those persuasion ideas are a CAUSE and the EFFECT is the desire to buy the product. People that make and sell their own stuff discover the opposite usually happens. In fact, those that have been making and selling their own stuff for a long know that is the IDEAL. That the product quality is a CAUSE, and all the persuasion ideas (social proof, scarcity, etc.) are an EFFECT. The product quality CAUSES social proof. The product quality and demand CAUSES scarcity. The social proof combined with scarcity CAUSES the very powerful FOMO, the fear of missing out. A valuable product that is popular is therefore scarce. And it will soon be GONE. Once any customer realizes this, FOMO causes an INSANE amount of internally generated buying pressure. This is one of the most repeatable, demonstrable, COVETED combination of scenarios that ad men have known about for CENTURIES. If you can create an ORGANIC feeling of FOMO around any idea, it will sell like CRAZY. FOMO is behind ALL market bubbles. And YOU can leverage FOMO to YOUR benefit. How? By realizing that YOU are the product. By levering all those ideas with YOUR PRESENCE. To generate such a strong and positive presence that just showing up will generate a MASSIVE amount of FOMO. Around YOU. And the idea of you. This means that EVERYBODY will want you. Everybody will want to be part of whatever you are part of. And because that deep feeling of FOMO will follow you everywhere, people will be inspired to ACT NOW. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
  23. Linguistic presuppositions are a very powerful grammatical structure. They are when you "hide" things inside of a sentence. Kind of like covertly slipping small ideas into people's brains. For example, consider this sentence: "Linguistic presuppositions are powerful." If I just said that on its own it would be easy to disagree with. You could say, "No they aren't." But I could take that same idea and hide it in a sentence. For example: One of the reasons linguistic presuppositions are so powerful is because they let you control other people's thinking without them knowing it. The above sentence works like a "sleight of hand." Where a magician does something on one side, where he wants your attention, but the REAL magic is being done where nobody is looking. In the above sentence, most people would focus on the part about controlling other people's thinking. If you read the above sentence, it would be difficult mentally to say: "Wait a minute, I disagree that linguistic presuppositions are powerful." This structure, of hiding ideas inside long winded sentences is what you see political pundits on TV do all the time. But the idea of something be PRESUPPOSED is very, very powerful. Because you can presuppose a lot, not only through words, but through actions. One of the most common "ideas" from TV shows involving lawyers and cops is the "one time offer." The district attorney is talking to the bad guy and offers him a deal. But then he says the magic words. That it's a one time offer. This evokes both scarcity and the fear of missing out (FOMO). Both are VERY POWERFUL when eliciting the desired actions from your targets. Sales people use it all the time, because it works. But there's a way to PRESUPPOSE this "one time offer" energy in your behaviors. Your subconscious non verbal communication. A way to build in the IDEA into your personality that YOU are a "one time offer." This is the polar opposite of "desperation energy." Desperation energy is like an offer that NEVER EXPIRES. Needless to say, if an offer NEVER expires, it won't be very compelling. Especially when it comes across as a very needy, "please accept me" type of energy. The opposite is very rare. Very attractive. Very valuable. Because it ALWAYS radiates that combination of scarcity and FOMO. And because it comes through your subconscious behavior, it's always implied. Presupposed. Which will not only make YOU insanely attractive, but it will make everybody else very motivated to ACT FAST. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/walk-away/
  24. One thing your parents probably worried about when you were young was that you’d hang out with the wrong crowd. And for good reason. Decades of data show that there are really only TWO variables that make up your adult personality. Your genes, and your NON-FAMILY peer group. The data comes from twins. Identical, non-identical, raised apart, raised separate, and adopted kids. And when they combine ALL the data, those two are the most important. The genes you start off with, and the people you hang out with. Why are people you hang out with SO important? Even MORE so than your family? You can’t choose your family. You are pretty much stuck with your family. In fact, a pretty funny saying is that good friends are God’s apology for crappy siblings. We CHOOSE our friends. Because we LIKE our friends. And when we hang around people we like, we soak up their behavior. That’s why most parents are TERRIFIED that their kids will run with the wrong crowd. Because if you are a kid, and you happen to LIKE somebody who has “bad” habits, you’ll pick up those bad habits. Your grades might slip. You might start smoking. You might decide to become a vampire. This is a pretty powerful idea. It shows that whatever genes we have, we can LEARN whatever behavior we want. But it requires that we LIKE the person we are learning from. AND it requires that learning happens more or less subconsciously. Essentially, this is how humans exist. We soak up behaviors from the people we like. Without knowing it. Lucky for us, this works BOTH WAYS. Meaning you can soak up behaviors from others, or you can get others to soak up the behaviors from you. See, a shorthand way of hanging out with somebody, and slowly soaking up their behaviors over time, is “adopting their frame.” When we LIKE somebody, and look up to them, we adopt their frame. We take on their behavior, mannerisms, speech patterns, etc. But if you purposely build a very strong and compelling frame, then plenty of people will adopt YOUR frame. Since most people don’t think about this stuff, they just kind of look around and FIND SOMEBODY with a strong frame. They don’t even know they’re doing that. Since this is what humans do naturally. Since we are hierarchical social animals, looking for somebody with a strong frame is an instinct. We naturally follow those with strong frames. But you can purposely BUILD a strong frame. What’s even better, is once you figure out how to build a strong frame, you realize that it’s like a muscle. With consistent “frame building exercises” you can build it as STRONG as you want. So strong that no matter WHERE you go, EVERYBODY will follow you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  25. admin

    Increase Your Luckiness

    Why are some people luckier than others? To understand, we need to define what kind of luck we're talking about. If ten people are looking for one hidden item (at a party or whatever) whoever finds it will be "lucky." And if you repeat this "experiment" a kajillion times, the number of "lucky" people will average out, so long as some people aren't better "lookers" than others. But what about the kind of luck that involves catching lucky breaks? There's a pretty common idea of actors getting "discovered" in Hollywood were just minding their own business. But is that the way it REALLY went down? It's kind of hard to get discovered if your job is working in the middle of a huge cornfield. It's probably no accident that those "lucky" actors that got "discovered" were already in Hollywood working in places where they could increase the probability they would get "discovered." So there ARE ways to increase these "lucky" incidents. Imagine some actor who got "discovered." They weren't chosen just how they looked. They also got chosen because of how they behaved. The way the producers (or directors or whoever) took the way they WERE behaving, and imagined them behaving slightly differently in whatever movie they were making. On a much broader scale, if you want to "get the breaks" you need to make sure people see YOU as a potential person to GET the breaks. If you walk around with your hands in your pockets staring at the ground, you'll get passed over. If you walk with your shoulders back, and smile and make eye contact with as many people as you can, you'll INCREASE your odds. When hiring people for jobs, even technical jobs, one KEY element employers look for is how well you get along with others. Most problems we have will involve others. Either the "others" we are having problems with, or the "others" we'll need help from in solving the problems. The more easily you can put a positive "spin" on YOURSELF, the easier it will be WHENEVER you interact with others. Even better if you just be "yourself" if your true self is positive, friendly and can enjoy interacting with others when needed. Luckily, doing this from the inside out is pretty easy. Learn How: Stop Manipulation
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