Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'performance'.
Found 3 results
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Mar15Post.mp4 It's common to have folks who are successful in one area of life, but suck in others. A common movie character, and fairly common real life character is the guy who is a smooth-playing, lady-killer. The guy whose got tons of notches on his bed, but always behind on his rent. Or the guy who is the killer of the boardroom, master of negotiations, but gets floored and obliterated when his wife says she is leaving him. This is also true in sports. Michael Jordan, arguably one of the best basketball players of all time, absolutely sucked at baseball. He tried and failed miserably. Many "skills" are like this. Very narrowly applicable. Others are much more widely applicable. Things like general endurance, muscle strength and agility. The more you have all three of these, the more you'll be better in pretty much any sport. Mental skills can also be treated the same way. Take confidence for example. You might have mad confidence that you can cook the most delicious meal west of the Mississippi. You might also have mad confidence to play some decent songs on the piano, so long as nobody is watching. But when there's a party, and somebody mentions that you play, you shrink inside, terrified somebody might ask you to perform. Most of us are plenty confident doing plenty of things, so long as nobody is watching. But even the most accomplished actors suffer from stage fright. Some A-list actors NEVER watch their own movies. So long as other people are telling them WHAT to say, how to say it, their fine. But they are TERRIFIED of having to objectively judge themselves. This is one skill is very rare, but very powerful if you can cultivate it. The one skill that says: If I like my performance, that's all that matters. If I'm satisfied with my accomplishments, that's all that matters. Most of us try VERY HARD to pretend to believe this, but this is human self deception at its finest. If we TRULY didn't care what others thought about us, we would feel the SAME doing things in front of others as when doing those same things on our own. VERY FEW people truly feel this way. But consider this to be one of the most holy grail ideals of our human existence. To live as if OUR value of OURSELVES is more important than others' value of us. It's very EASY to fake this. To pretend it is real. But very, very few people live this. If you can approach this, the benefits are enormous. If you can slowly improve this, the benefits will continue to grow. Because the more YOU like and genuinely approve of yourself, so will everybody else. Most people follow others. But once you genuinely like and approve of yourself, others will follow you. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
An ideal state from which to operate from is that of detached outcome. This makes sense from a logical standpoint. The less you are concerned with the outcome of any conversation, the less anxious you’ll be. Any anxiety of any kind will take plenty of your brain’s processing power. With zero anxiety, you can relax and give your entire attention to not only the words being said, but the massive amount of non-verbal energy. Both consciously and unconsciously. Once you start to get nervous, that nervousness slowly shifts into “fight or flight mode.” Instead of being relaxed and open, you’ll be in “better safe than sorry” mode. That being detached from outcome is a preferred state is pretty clear. But exactly HOW to create that state is the question. From one perspective, the easiest way to detach from outcome is to generally not be worried about the outcome. This is one of those things that is VERY HARD to fake, but when it’s natural, it’s natural. One technique is to see any one conversation in the context of a long range plan. Kind of like in baseball. Since they play over a hundred games, one loss in the middle of a season it’s such a big deal. And within one game in the middle of a season, one at-bat isn’t such a big deal. If you are one of the team’s sluggers, each at-bat in a mid-season game won’t be such a big deal. Making it VERY EASY to detach from outcome. Compared to say, being up to bat in the bottom of the ninth, last game of the world series, down by two runs, and a full count. In this situation, it’s VERY HARD to “detach from outcome.” For both the pitcher AND the batter. So, how to you make even seemingly important conversations seem much more like mid-season, mid-game at-bats? Always have a LONGER RANGE plan around that particular conversation. That way, even if that particular conversation doesn’t work out, it will. Meaning that no matter WHAT happens, you can benefit from that conversation. This is the real secret of being detached from outcome. Being able to accept ANY outcome as valid. Paradoxically, this will make you the MOST attractive from the other person’s perspective. Regardless of the external purpose of the conversation. Imagine if you were a hiring manager. And you had two candidates, both with relatively equal resumes. Which one would you prefer: Candidate A, who had a desperate, “please hire me I really need this job” energy? Or Candidate B, who had a very calm, “maybe we can come to a mutually beneficial agreement” energy? You can easily shift into the second mindset by creating some longer range plans. This will give you a very confident, very outcome-independent, and very attractive frame. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/