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A commonly used term is "detached from outcome." This is often talked about, as if it were a "holy grail" state or event. It's very similar to the idea of "self actualization." Both are desirable states. Both are very vaguely described. Both in terms of what they are, and in terms of how you get there. And both are mostly misunderstood. As luck would have it, they are VERY similar. Or, at the very least, they CAN be. Self actualization comes from Maslow. Now, right off the bat, we need to say that Maslow was NOT a scientist. He didn't do a whole slew of double blind studies. He didn't invalidate any null hypothesis. His idea of self actualization, and the pyramid it sits atop of, is just that. An IDEA. A very clever idea, but an idea. Even then it's mostly misunderstood. We all have needs. We will have needs till the day we die. And his "hierarchy" is a kind of subjective value system of those needs. Some are very basic and animalistic. Food, shelter, safety, sex. The needs that satisfy our "higher" selves are higher up on the pyramid. Self actualization is up on top. But here's the thing. We will ALWAYS be locked in our "animal" bodies. We will always need to eat, sleep and relieve ourselves. (No matter HOW self actualized you are, you WILL need to take a dump sooner or later.) So the idea that we can "get" to the top of the pyramid is a myth. The "self actualization" pyramid is more like the food pyramid. A recommendation. Or perhaps a guess at how much time we'll spend in each kind of need. Meaning that since we ALWAYS need to eat, sleep, and relieve ourselves, no matter WHAT you do, you will ALWAYS be spending the bulk of your time in the lower section of that "hierarchy." How does this related to that coveted state of "detached from outcome"? Consider this the same idea. It is something that is ONLY possible when the "lower levels" are more or less (and temporarily) satisfied. When it comes to having conversations, that means feelings of comfort, safety and rapport. But it also means having a LOT of much larger frames. For example, in baseball, it's easy to be "detached from outcome" early in the season because you have a lot more games to play. In the last game of the world series, not so much. Luckily, a lot of this is very much in your control. To create a, "still early in the season," feeling. And NOT a, "last game of the world series," feeling. It requires having a much LARGER frame. A whole set of larger frames. If your ONLY frame is that particular conversation, you'll feel like it's bottom of the ninth and two outs, based loaded, down by three. If you have LOTS of larger frames, it will feel like spring training. Which means you can relax and have fun. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/cb/
The concept of Yin and Yang is prevalent in society. It's generally meant to be a balance of male and female energy. For example, you had a bit of stress, couldn't sleep, etc, you might go to a holistic health practitioner, instead of a western style doctor. Maybe you would see an acupuncturist. He might say that your Yin and Yang is out of balance. Too much male energy, not enough female energy. Makes sense, right? Once you were "back in balance," once the male and female energies were in harmony, the anxiety would go away. So far so good? Only this is a very common, yet very incorrect interpretation of the "Yin and Yang" concept. Yin and Yang are NEVER in "balance." They are not supposed to be. Yin is ALWAYS turning into Yang. And Yang is ALWAYS turning into Yin. One is always flowing into the other. It is a constant, never ending, process. It's meant to be a metaphor for pretty much every living and even non-living thing in the human experience. Day turns into night. Night turns into day. Hunger turns into being full. Being full turns into hunger. Winter turns into spring, etc. Exhales turn into inhales. Deep unconscious cravings for O2 soon turns into deep unconscious cravings to GET RID of CO2. Even each of your individual hemoglobin molecules, inside your red blood cells are in a never ending cycle. They pick up O2 from your lungs and race to deliver it to your muscles. As soon as they pick it up (the O2) they can't wait to get rid of it. Then they exchange the O2 (energy) with the CO2 (waste) at your muscle cells and turn around and race back to your lungs. Like a gigantic factory. Receiving, packaging, shipping, maintenance, etc. Never in balance. Always trying to catch up. Even after you're dead the cycle never ends. Everywhere you look, you'll find cycles. Birth and growth. Growth and maturity. Maturity and death. Your thoughts are the same. Every time you observe something it creates a new thought in mind. That thought grows, matures and transforms into another thought. Sometimes those thoughts turn into actions. Other times they float down to the bottom of your brain and gather dust. Your brain is a precious gift. A gift that can make the difference of a valuable life that creates greatness, or a life that sits around and tries to kill time. The thing about your brain is it's kind of like a slice of pizza. If you sit there staring at the TV with a slice of pizza in front of you, somebody else will take it. If you shuffle along staring at life with your brain just sitting there, somebody else will use it. Your choice. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/hallucinating-mind/