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There's a concept in economics called the law of diminishing returns. For example, imagine if you are really looking forward to a delicious meal. The first bite is going to be fantastic. And the first couple of bites after that will be equally fantastic. But pretty soon, each subsequent bite will become less and less fantastic. And if you aren't careful, and you keep eating, pretty soon the bites won't be fantastic at all. It's called diminishing returns because you keep doing the SAME ACTIONS. Namely, putting the same piece of food into your mouth, chewing, and swallowing. But each subsequent time you do that, you get less and less return. Another example would be if you had a week's vacation. The first day would be fantastic. But each day would be slightly less fantastic. For one, because each day is becoming more and more familiar. And the end is getting closer and closer. This reason, diminishing returns, is why some relationships can get stale. Especially if they are based primarily on looks. Imagine, for example, you got together with somebody who was "out of your league." The first few times you were alone with them, it would be fantastic. But each time you would become MORE familiar with them. So the excitement would slowly wear off. This is what happens to serial monogamists. The beginning of relationships are always wonderful. But pretty soon, that magical feeling tends to fade. And ALL you are left with is compatibility. The MORE compatible you are, the longer your relationship will tend to last. The LESS compatible you are, the more ANY relationship will fall prey to the law of diminishing returns. This, of course, works both ways. Plenty of women get by on their looks, at least in the beginning. But men do the same thing. Especially when they practice short term strategies to increase attraction. If you don't have an attractive personality under your exterior (polished game or natural beauty) the law of diminishing returns will never be far behind. On the other hand, if you get into the habit of keep your personality healthy and attractive, you will always be attractive. Especially if you think of your personality like most people think of their health. Necessary to GET in shape, and necessary to KEEP in shape. Since so few people think of personality like this, once you start doing some simple personality exercises, you will stand out. Not just in the beginning, but for as long as you live. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
One of the secrets of human nature is that we are all human. And despite how different we feel on the inside, we are all very similar. It’s just that our deep dreams, fears, and desires are something that we RARELY share. So we think ours are different. But they really aren’t. If we all had fundamentally different internal wants and needs and fears, it would be impossible for any inventor to be successful. If we all had DIFFERENT internal desires, no ONE invention or idea (or book or song or movie) would be popular to many people. This means that as a human, you have secret inside information. About how other humans think and feel. But if you come at them with advice, it won’t work. All inventions, for example, work because people can CHOOSE to buy them or not buy them. If an inventor tried to be successful by showing on people’s doorstep, forcing himself in their homes, he wouldn’t be nearly as successful. One way to create connections with others is by looking for similarities. Not surface structure similarities, as in the same taste in TV or music, but in structural similarities. This means you have to think in terms of structure. Of how you perceive and describe your experience. And how you can elicit their experience. This takes a little bit of effort. It’s much more detailed than memorizing some lines. But will create much deeper, and much more powerful connections. And since you’ll be creating a two-way connection, you can actually tell if they are compatible or not. One mistake that is common is to create a deep connection, and only THEN start to wonder if you are compatible or not. But by making connections based on structural similarities, rather than superficial surface similarities, it’s much more enjoyable. And it’s much easier. Since when you communicate like this with everybody, and it becomes who you are, the process is much more organic. Since everything will be happening naturally and organically, it won’t feel nearly as nervous. The best part is you can practice this communication style with non-romantic interests, and nobody will know. But sooner or later, real romantic interests will make it VERY EASY on you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/lovers/
I read a fantastic book a long time ago. Very easy to understand, very accessible. It even had plenty of funny pictures It was written by a husband and wife team. They write a lot of books about self-help type stuff, but from a scientific perspective. This particular book, "Why Men Don't Listen and Why Women Can't Read Maps," is all about the REAL differences between men and women. The last 1/4 of the book is references to all the scientific studies. What was most impressive was that overall, everything about us humans can be understood by understanding where we come from. Not anything esoteric, but biologically. We lived the LONGEST time as hunter-gathers. So all of our instincts were calibrated during that environment. For example, men have very long range, but NARROW vision. Since they were always hunting. Women, on the other hand, have more short range but very WIDE vision. Because they were always gathering. Men don't talk, because talking while hunting is NOT a good idea. Women talk all the time, because talking while gathering is perfectly fine. So a good mental model of WHY we have any particular human characteristic is by imagining a hunter-gatherer environment. Anything we have TODAY, that we DIDN'T have back then is a source of massive problems. Food was scarce back then, but not today. Being always HUNGRY today was GOOD back then, but it's NOT good today. More than 2/3 of adult humans are overweight because of this. Another situation that is MUCH different today is how men and women interact. How we interact, what we say to each other, when we say it, how often we say it. Very much like food, we have TOO MUCH ACCESSIBILITY to each other today, and it causes problems. But there are plenty of other things that also cause plenty of problems. Which is why if you just wing it, relationship wise, you'll have a very LOW success rate. Falling IN love (or lust) is EASY. Maintaining it is the HARD part. Back then, the "set and forget" strategy was perfectly fine. But so was the "eat anything you can" strategy. Both hunger and relationships require CONSTANT management today. With food, it's easy. Well, what to do, specifically, isn't complicated. The same with relationships. What to do isn't so complicated. But knowing is only half the battle. But just like diet and exercise, if you COULD manage to eat healthy and exercise, you WOULD have a healthy body. (BTW, wonder why the hottest diet today is called the PALEO diet?) With relationships, if you COULD manage to do what you NEED to do, you WOULD be able to create a deep, loving, healthy relationship with ANYBODY. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/lovers/