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https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct14Post.mp4 A commonly "hated" piece of advice is to "be yourself." People want to make a good impression. Job interview, networking event, meeting others socially. There are two sides to this advice. One is that social interactions are very much like boxing matches. Not that they are confrontational, but they are VERY dependent on the other person. Boxers and other fighters have the luxury of watching their opponent. While people intending to mix socially have NO IDEA how to "behave" to make a solid first impression. It's really impossible to give advice to somebody. The advice giver only knows the advice asker. The advice giver has NO IDEA about the people the advice asker will be talking to. What if the advice is to "be funny, tell a few jokes"? This works on SOME people, but not others. It is, therefore, UNINFORMED advice. That would like a boxer getting advice to throw a SPECIFIC set of punches. Bad advice. So, in reality, the advice to BE YOURSELF actually is good advice. But in order to accept this, you need to accept a much more difficult idea. That if you be yourself, you will get an HONEST response. And you might not LIKE that response. So the advice of being yourself often doesn't work in the short term. But really only have two choices. One is to NOT be yourself. To be fake. To memorize a bunch of stuff JUST to get a positive response. If you do this on a job interview, you'll get into trouble. They ask, "Can you do X, Y, and Z?" You say, "Absolutely!" But what if you CAN'T? Then you work for a month or two, they figure you weren't being honest during the interview, and they let you go. Then in the NEXT interview, you have to explain why you only worked at the previous company for two months. But with social situations, it's even worse. Here are the ONLY two options. One, be fake. Fake nice, fake seductive, fake whatever. To get a short term result. But eventually, the REAL YOU will peak through. And this will be DIFFERENT from the fake you. So being fake (nice or otherwise) will ONLY create short term success. AT BEST. What's the other option? Be yourself. And accept the feedback. And keep IMPROVING your real self. Until more and more people LIKE your real self. The first step is to ditch all the fake ideas about your real self. And see how easy it is to IMPROVE how your real self comes across. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/nice-guy-killer/
https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Oct08Post.mp4 All living creatures must live under the ever present laws of economics. Everything has a cost. If you are a monkey and you want to climb a tree to get a banana, that simple act will have costs and benefits. The benefits are the calories in the banana. The costs are the calories of climbing the tree. And the risk. Every creature needs energy. Every creature needs to move to get energy. This is same as the "it takes money to make money" theory. It takes energy to get energy. For nearly all animals, this is programmed in. Bears instinctively to go the part of the river where salmon jump up stream. Mother nature has calibrated this system very well. The salmons swim upstream to lay eggs. Many die along the way. Many make it just tot that last stretch, only to get eaten. Yet, enough slip by the bears jaws to lay eggs, and keep the salmon population stable. Humans are different. We have self awareness. Self awareness that allows us to look at all the different choices, and make the "best" decision. Of course, the "best" decision is very, very subjective. If you're only goal is to enjoy yourself, and you're hungry, the "best" decision may be a double bacon cheeseburger. But if you're hungry and you're in training, the "best" decision may be something else. This part of our thinking can be difficult. Frustrating. Of recognizing that what we do NOW can effect two different futures. Our near term future, and our long term future. This is particularly difficult when the path forward is not so clear. If you're rent is due in two weeks, it's pretty obvious that spending all your rent money TODAY is a bad idea. This is much more complex in social situations. Where everything is always in flux. Even more difficult, and more frustrating is when sex and romance are potential outcomes. This is when self sabotage can creep in. Or outright ego protecting, self deception. This is when we become SO DESPERATE to create a positive outcome, we act very INCONGRUENT with our true selves. But the more you are focused on creating ONLY short term success, the less likely you'll enjoy long term success. For example, if you eat NOTHING but bacon cheeseburgers, your daily food enjoyment will be very pleasant. But your long term health will be obliterated. In you focus ONLY on short term relationship success, this will have the same impact. Your LONG term emotional health will obliterated. You act fake in the short term, to create short term sex and love. But NONE of those short term flings will pan out. They CAN'T. Because they were built on a false presentation of your personality. On the other hand, if you act more congruent, you may have different enjoyment in the short term, but your long term will be much, much better. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/nice-guy-killer/