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Professional pickpockets choose their victims carefully. Do anything for a while and you'll learn the finer points. For pickpockets and muggers, they need a certain type of victim. Ones that won't fight back. Ones that will be too scared to remember what they look like. They can tell within a few moments whose a likely candidate and who isn't. They are, in a sense, body language experts. They can tell who's confident, so they avoid them. They can tell who isn't, so they stalk them. Not unlike lions carefully watching a pack of gazelles. They know who is the easiest to catch, and who isn't. They know who is the safest to catch, and who isn't. For lions and criminals, they have a clear objective. Lions need food. Criminals need money. But we all not only project, but are capable of reading the body language around us. Bully's tend to pick on people they KNOW will be weak. They type they don't think will fight back. Not just schoolyard bullies. Office bullies also. And there are many levels of bullying. Overt physical violence. And very covert subconscious verbal slights. Sometimes they are so subtle they don't even know themselves. Which makes it much harder to call them out. They have a deep need to put others down. For them, it's the ONLY WAY they can feel good. Most people feel good by making others feel good. Smiling, cracking jokes, etc. But bullies seem to have a different strategy. By putting others down, even subtly, they pretend it raises them up. But this can be difficult, especially if you're not quite sure WHAT they said. They say something, and it sort of seems like a normal statement. Or even a compliment. But underneath, there is some negativity. You know it, they know it, and everybody else knows it. Part of their game is to knock you off balance. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to defend yourself. Plenty of ways to build up a strong inner frame. And some POWERFUL outer language. Simple questions that make them look silly. Powerful reframes that will send them running for cover. Black belt language skills to project power. So NOBODY ever messes with you again. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
A lot of the way reality works is really backwards. One reason is we humans have a tough time with any "cause-effect" ideas. We tend to assume connections where none exist. This has been demonstrated in children as young as six months. They believe it allowed for quick thinking back in the days of hunters and gathers. Many of our problems today stem from having hunter-gatherer instincts in a modern world. Another problem arises when we understand the relationships between our beliefs and the things we see. Most people believe they more or less see the world the way it is. And if something NEW pops up, they'll blend this NEW thing into their existing belief system. The underlying idea is that our reality around us CREATES our belief systems. When in many cases it's the other way around. Imagine a guy who is really shy and nervous. He has a belief that women think he is disgusting. This makes him feel like crap. And every time he talks to a woman, he sends out "creep vibes." This creep vibes are from his belief about himself. And these creep vibes CREATE the rejection he fears. However, he thinks this is PROOF that his beliefs are correct. When in reality, it's his beliefs that CREATE his reality. The problem with this is how the heck do you change your beliefs when you have no experiences with anything else? If we humans could just rewrite our beliefs at will, life would be MUCH easier. So most of us don't bother. We just assume things about the world. Many people don't even acknowledge that the world behaves like we TELL it to. Nobody can tell much about you. So they have to use YOUR interpretation of you as a guide. If you think you suck, they'll think you suck. Of course, nobody walks up and says, "Hi! I suck!" We project that with our frame. If you have a weak frame, it's interpreted by others before you even open your mouth. If you have a strong frame, it's interpreted by others before you even open your mouth. A good way to describe your frame is the sum total of your beliefs regarding your value. If you believe you don't provide much value, nobody else will. If you believe you provide TONS of value, everybody else will. But this belief has to be true in ALL LEVELS. It's common to have strong beliefs about yourself at the conscious level, but very weak beliefs at the subconscious level. These subconscious beliefs are the ones that make up your frame. Luckily, there's a pretty easy way to change them. To systematically build up a MASSIVE frame, just like you could build muscles. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
There's a lot of cool exercises you do in NLP seminars. One is a lie detector test. First you get a partner, then you calibrate each other. Each person tells three truths, and three lies. Everybody has a collection of "tells" that they give off when they are lying. Telling the truth is easy. So when people tell the truth, we are very congruent. When we tell a lie, we are incongruent. Conflicted. We all have a collection of instincts that allow us to sniff out social cheaters. So when we are purposely lying, we are aware that the person we are lying to has those instincts. That causes fear and uncertainty. All that "energy" that we use to "look" normal is what causes the tells. And during this exercise, when you and other person KNOW you are lying, the other person can calibrate your tells. Then once you're each calibrated, you play the game. You ask each other questions. And sometimes you lie to each other, sometimes you tell the truth. But once you've calibrated, it's spooky accurate how well you can tell your partner is lying. This is EXACTLY why professional poker players are VERY CAREFUL about giving on any signals. They usually wear hats and glasses. The thing is, though, that we are ALWAYS communication. Even if you're just sitting there, watching people, you are giving off TONS of information. Everybody is doing this all the time. And everybody has tons of stuff we're worried about all the time. And everybody has a lot of conflicted ideas about being in social situations. Except when we see somebody that is TOTALLY congruent. Some that has very LITTLE inner conflict, both consciously and subconsciously. They stand out like a beacon. They are VERY ATTRACTIVE to a whole bunch of different people. Men, women, old people, little kids. These the natural leaders. The natural "go to" people when there are sudden problems. The folks with MASSIVELY strong frames. How do you get one of these massively strong frames? Easy. All you have to do is identify and eliminate all your inner conflicts. You can do this all by yourself. Doing these is like doing pushups. If you try a couple pushups once, it won't do squat. But if you do pushups every day for a few months, you'll be VERY STRONG. The same goes with these frame building exercises. Do them everyday, and pretty soon you'll have a strong and VERY attractive frame. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/