Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'influence people'.
Found 1 result
People who follow Dale Carnegie's advice run into a common problem. Dale Carnegie was the guy who wrote "How To Win Friends and Influence People." He also had a HUGE public speaking business back in the day. If you want ONE simple practice that can improve many unexpected areas, public speaking is it. Back in the day, he had rooms CRAMMED with people. This was during the depression, when jobs were scarce. And people were willing to do anything to improve their "personal marketability." But it was also a time when self-improvement was popular. Anyhow, the way the speeches would go is you ONLY had two minutes. And when your two minutes was UP, some guy in the back screamed, "TIME!" and off you went. This FORCED people to come up with a tight and very persuasive speech. And deliver it effectively KNOWING the clock was ticking. This forced people to think much more effectively. Not rambling along in tangent after tangent. Watch some YouTube vids of popular youtubers, and that's pretty much how people roll these days. They ramble on and on without ever making a point. But one common problem people have with Carnegie's teaching is with the simple idea of "You can become interesting TO other people so long as you become interesting IN other people." On the surface this sounds true. But then people go out and try it. And they find that most people are pretty boring. But it's not really that other people are boring, it's that the listener is LAZY. When people "try" and "be interested" in the other person, they imagine the other person doing all the work. Like all you need to do is ask somebody a few simple questions, and then stand back and magically "become interested." That would be like eating vegetables and then spitting them out because they don't taste like chocolate. Eating and enjoying chocolate doesn't take ANY skill. Nor does listening to an interesting person. Anybody can do that. The real skill is learning HOW to become INTERESTED IN nearly anybody you meet. Just like healthy food is an acquired taste, it takes time. But if you WERE to take the time to re-acquire your NATURAL affinity for healthy food, all the processed sugary crap would taste horrid. And once you learn how to become interested in NORMAL people, the stuff that passes for "interesting" (to normal, low attention span folks) will seem horrid as well. Make no mistake, this is a SKILL. And skills take practice. Practicing skills is not fun. But you WILL develop a skill that VERY FEW people have. Which will make you INTERESTING to a great many people. And not because you're running around doing tricks. But because you are TRULY interested IN others. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/presence/