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  1. Happy Middle Love Ground: https://mindpersuasion.com/happy-middle-love-ground/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  2. Why The Road Is Better Than The Inn: https://mindpersuasion.com/why-the-road-is-better-than-the-inn/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  3. Drop Ambition Breadcrumbs: https://mindpersuasion.com/drop-ambition-breadcrumbs/ https://mindpersuasion.com/3x3/
  4. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Feb06_Post.mp4 They say there are two tragedies in life. Getting your goals, and not getting your goals. This doesn't make much sense, at first. But consider each one. You have achieved ALL your goals. Sure, it feels good for a bit. But then what? Assume you've spent most of your adult life going after your most coveted goals. You've spent years, or even decades. Every day you wake up with burning desire. An ambition driven fire in your belly. To GET that most coveted goal. So, what do you do now? Order some take out, chill and Netflix? Take away that ambition that has DRIVEN you, and you'll start to feel pretty lousy. Luckily, for most of us, and most of the time, we NEVER really reach PEAK goal achievement. Which means that whatever goal we do find, after we relax for a bit, ANOTHER one will keep popping up. So, getting ALL your goals means NOTHING else pops up. What about the other "worst" thing that can happen? Not getting your goals? This is likely worse. Far worse. To have plenty of life left. To have plenty of years of productivity left, but to somehow be FORCED to accept those things you want are FOREVER out of each. That would most DEFINITELY suck. This may even be why we have so many biases. So we'll keep trying REGARDLESS of what contrary evidence lays before us. You may even say this is the human spirit. To keep trudging forward despite the horrible odds. The happy place, of course, is in the middle. To really believe you are ON YOUR WAY to greatness. There's another seeming dichotomy. But instead of goals, we can be a bit more specific. Love, romance, relationships, sexual desires. When it comes this category, there are also TWO horrible outcomes. One is being desperately in love with somebody who wants NOTHING to do with you. The other, potentially much worse, is having somebody else desperately in love with YOU that you want nothing to do with. One makes you feel your heart's desire is out of reach. The other makes feel there is nowhere to hide. Of course, just like goal seeking, there IS a happy medium. For goals it's always in the process of getting more and better stuff, whatever stuff that might be. For love, it's having plenty of options. And within those options, there are some that think YOU are a potential option. This requires a slightly different strategy. Different than the two strategies that end in the two disastrous endpoints. Of finding somebody, chasing them, and them calling the cops. Or waiting around till somebody starts chasing you, and then you trying to find a place to hide. A middle ground that allows you to meet and have a profound effect on as many people as possible. But in a low key way so that EVERYBODY always has maximum choice. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/first-impressions/
  5. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan25_Post.mp4 One of the more interesting models of life in general is that of exchange. Once you understand this, you can see it everywhere. Every time you breathe, you are exchanging oxygen and carbon dioxide. Then the hemoglobin in your blood goes around and makes another exchange. It delivers the oxygen to the muscles, picks up the CO2, and goes back to the lungs. The same goes with food. You could get a PHD in molecular biology, or organic chemistry and STILL not fully understand this. The complexity of life, on a fundamental level, on something as basic as energy exchange is staggering. Yet exchange is what drives everything. It's hard not to notice the similarities between blood around the body and money around the world. Money flows in one direction. In the opposite directions, goods flow. You go to the store, give money, and get something to eat. A burrito. The store then pays the money to the burrito suppliers. Those guys send the money back up the supply line. Money flowing one direction, goods flowing the other. Every single time, an exchange taking place. Just like every single time a hemoglobin molecules comes to the lung-blood interface, it drops off a CO2 and picks up an O2. And just like in your body, if the "blood supply line" gets blocked, bad things happen. If you get a clogged artery in your heart, the blood can't deliver oxygen to your heart muscles, and your heart muscles stop pumping. Similarly, whenever the "money-goods" supply line stops, bad things happen. Even friendly conversations can be seen in this exchange model. We rarely think about this, but it's there. You share some ideas, they share some ideas back. Money for burritos. Oxygen for CO2. Opinions about the weather for opinions about the local sports teams. Even at it's most basic form, economics is all about this trade. Inside everybody's brain is a collection of things they want. And for each one of these things that we want, we have a vague idea of what we're willing to DO to get these things. Most exchanges, both scientifically, economically and mentally are discrete. Do this, get that. Drop off O2, pick up CO2. Give the guy $3.25, and get a burrito. Spit out a few words, and get a smile. But sometimes this is NOT enough. When the changes are really metaphorical. For example, if you wanted a dollar, it would be easy. Do ONE THING, and then somebody would give you a dollar. But if you wanted a MILLION dollars? It would take a LOT of "trades" over a LONG TIME. So thinking in terms of "what ONE THING can I do to GET a million dollars" is not really appropriate. Another way we over-simplify this "trade" idea is getting in physical shape. What can I "DO" to "GET" a six pack, for example. Sexy bodies and fat bank accounts have a lot in common. They are better thought of as HORIZON goals. Things you don't really just "get," but things you are ALWAYS getting closer to. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/ideal-health/
  6. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan23_Post.mp4 One of the ancient rules of magic is to keep secret. There are many variations. Generally it goes as follows. To dare, to will, to act, to keep secret. First you gotta think big. That's the dare part. Then you gotta formulate a plan. That's the will part. Then you got to take action. But what about the keep secret part? Think about it from a pure "emotional energy" standpoint. You want something you don't have. So in order to get that something, you need to PAY some energy. Whether you're building an empire or making a sandwich, you need to EXPEND energy before you get your outcome. Consider this from a simple "making a sandwich model." If you aren't very hungry, you won't be willing to expend the energy to make a sandwich. So your "body" waits until you are hungry enough. So the pay off is MORE than the energy required. When you're not very hungry, there's not much of a payoff. So there has to be enough GAIN from the "now" state to the "future" state to justify spending whatever energy it's going to take. Now imagine something much bigger. Like running a 10K in under 45 minutes. A much bigger goal. This a goal you'll have to KEEP in mind for a while. This is when the "keep secret" part is important. When it's you, the goal, and your daily actions (the costs) that's one thing. But when you start telling everybody your plans, that can make it much more difficult. Particularly when you get POSITIVE feedback. Why positive? Without ANY feedback, there's only you and your goal. But when you start getting positive feedback, that feels GOOD. It can take away from your future desire by giving you some NOW pleasure. Kind of like snacking before dinner. It takes away the pleasure of dinner, or as they say, it "ruins" your appetite. But what if the feedback is NOT positive? That's even worse! Now you've got your goal, your intention, your expectation of the daily costs it will take to get there. AND a bunch of opinions swirling around in your head. Some good, some bad. Some may ever remind you of past failures. All it takes is one eye roll from a close friend, and a half hearted, "yeah right," and you might be RUINED. So, consider keeping your goals to yourself. The more important they are, the more you might consider living your life like a well written piece of fiction. Show, don't tell. Don't be like those goofs always running around telling people what they are GOING to do. Just get it done. Let your actions and results define your life. Not your words. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/ideal-health/
  7. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan22_Post.mp4 Why do most goals fail? If we are honest, most goals aren't really goals. They are wishes. And if you combine a wish with some half hearted, or not so well thought action, it HAS to fail. Why? A wish is just that. A vague idea for the future that is better than now. Don't get me wrong. Wishes are fantastic. Wishing for better things IS the seed of greatness. It's only when we misunderstand our wishes do we get into trouble. Ideally, it might work like this. You have a WISH for a better life. Let's say it's about money. So you lay awake at night imagining how that might be. Maybe wishing or dreaming of hitting upon a new invention or business idea. Or perhaps being a world famous novelist, whose works are turned into movies, and you're constantly being interviewed and asked where you get all your ideas from. So long as you understand these are WISHES, you're in good shape. But if you actually start to interpret these wishes as goals or plans, that's when we get into trouble. Ask any successful person who is in their mid to late life if they had ANY idea HOW they'd become successful, and if they're honest, they'll say that didn't have a clue. But if you kept digging deeper, you'd find they did have a META plan. And idea that they'd be successful in a field. Like sports, or business, or entertainment, or science. And within that field, they simply kept moving forward. Nobody can predict the future. So it's mathematically impossible to have a WISH that exists a year or two out and have that WISH come out to be true. But this DOES NOT MEAN that wishes and daydreams and fantasies are not critical. They are VERY critical. But they aren't plans. Plans are what happens as you slowly move forward. Toward your wishes. And have some success along the way. And equally important, some failures. Successes tell you WHAT to do. Failures tell you what NOT to do. The more you can look back into your past, and see both failures and success TOWARD your wish, the more accurately you can PLAN. This is why weight loss and health goals end in disaster. We a have a vague WISH of a better body. We have a vague PLAN we think will get us there. But after about week, what ACTUALLY happens, costs and benefits, is far different than we imagined. The answer? Don't blast off into the future. Go slow. Carefully and deliberately create that necessary PAST experience that you can use to create and much more accurately predict the future. The slower you do this, the easier it will be. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/ideal-health/
  8. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan20_Post.mp4 According to scientists, and according to some kind of vote, the most beautiful equations in physics are Maxwell's Equations. These describe the nature of electromagnet radiation. A small portion of which we call light. Radio waves to talk to aliens. Microwaves to cook popcorn. And light, are all made up of electromagnetic radiation. And light, or electromagnetic radiation, is the original chicken and the egg. The CHANGE of the magnetic portion creates a CHANGE in the electric portion. And the CHANGE in the electric portion creates a CHANGE in the magnetic portion. One causes the other, which causes the one. If you're into physics equation t-shirts, the most famous is with Maxwell's Equations. The top says, "And God Said:" Then Maxwell's equations are listed. And after the equations it says: "And the light was good." The "geek" part being "Let Their Be Light" is the words describing Maxwell's equations. One of the most sought after "feelings" is a general sense of happiness. They do all kinds of surveys and surveys. Academic goofs are always searching for the "holy grail" of happiness. As if once they "discover" the secret of happiness, they'll be in a position to tell people what to do so they can "be" happy. Well, there's no need for a bunch of Academic goofs spending government grants to determine happiness. Because happiness is very much like Maxwell's equations. Happiness is a byproduct of forward momentum. What kind of forward momentum? Anything that gets YOU closer to something YOU'VE determined is important. And it's relatively congruent with your deeper instincts. Money, love, social status, sex, and health. For example, suppose you're hungry. So you order a pizza. While you are waiting for the pizza to come, you're in a good mood. We can say this is a very specific kind of happiness. I'm about to eat something delicious happiness. Or suppose your girl texted you and she's on her way over. She knows it's on. You know it's on. So you are feeling a kind of "pre-sex" happiness. Or suppose you've just killed it in a job interview. Like, really, really killed it. And you have a follow up interview wit HR, but the CEO who interviewed you first assure you that HR interview is ONLY a formality. This will create a kind of "I'm about to get hired" happiness. So, what is general happiness? A byproduct of forward momentum. Of getting CLOSER to your goals that are important to you, that are more or less under your control, and closely related to your ancient instincts. And just like electromagnetic radiation, one CAUSES the other. Going toward your goals will increase happiness. Increases of happiness will compel you to bigger and better goals. Get Going: https://mindpersuasion.com/ideal-health/
  9. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan19_Post.mp4 One of the most common "self development" thoughts or wishes is also the most dangerous. In many ways, we live within a lot of paradoxes. Self deception fueled by biases. Biases that helped us to survive before, but harm us today. The most common desire, to satisfy a perceived shortcoming is behind ALL self help "fail." The more you WANT this one thing that we all believe we don't have, the more likely you will fail. So, what is this thing that everybody wants, believes they don't have, but can't succeed without? This one "theme" is this behind every type of self help, from weight loss to making money to reaching any kind of imagined potential? Motivation. Everybody BELIEVES they need motivation. Everybody STARTS any kind of goal, physical or mental, by conjuring up motivation. But motivation, when you get rid of all the guru fluff and ideas about screaming in the mirror, is ONLY a short term strategy. And it's based on a kind of "mis-match." It works like this. First, you want an outcome that you don't have. You realize it's going to take effort to get from where you are, to where you want to be. And since you're NOT automatically doing it, you need to bridge the gap. And you bridge the gap with MOTIVATION. A short term burst of energy to get you going. But that initial and short-lived and ARTIFICIAL burst of energy is not calibrated. Before you even start, you have a misunderstanding. You over-estimate the BENEFITS, the thing that you want. You underestimate the COSTS, what it will take to get there. Even then, just sitting there with that cost-benefit estimate in your brain, you NEED motivation to get started. Do you need motivation to get up, walk to the fridge, and grab another cold one? No. Silly, right? But WHY is that action AUTOMATIC, but achieving any kind of long range goal is not? Because getting up and walking to the fridge is NOT based on guessing. You KNOW what it will cost. You KNOW what you will get. What's the difference between somebody who jogs four miles every day, and ENJOYS it, vs. somebody who struggles to get out and walk? The person who jogs, within their brain, is just like the person who gets up to get another beer from the fridge. Both are EASY actions. They KNOW what the costs will be. They KNOW what benefits will be. So, the money question. How, specifically, can you becoming like the daily jogger? Who doesn't NEED motivation? Who does things that not only get them closer to their objectives, but enjoys them in the process? How can YOU make the actions needed to get to your long term goals as EASY as getting another beer? Go. Very. Slowly. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/ideal-health/
  10. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan08_Post.mp4 What does it mean to be self actualized? Like many other vague terms, this is misunderstood today. Self actualized sounds pretty good. And it's almost always defined in vague but equally good language. And whenever we see something defined in vague but nice sounding language, our minds fill in the blanks. And HOW our minds fill in the blanks is what gets us in trouble. We tend to OVERESTIMATE how good something is going to be. And we tend to UNDERESTIMATE how much effort those good things will take. This is a function of our evolutionary past. If we compare two hypothetical tribes it's easy to see. Imagine one tribe had a very ACCURATE idea of both costs and benefits. Another tribe had an over-estimation of the costs, and an under-estimation of the benefits. The second IRRATIONAL tribe would be more motivated. We can call this the, "This is gonna be AWESOME tribe." This next part is kind of hard to wrap our minds around. But the beliefs that existed in our ancestors' heads were MEANS to an end. Their MAIN purpose was to MOTIVATE us. Whoever was MOTIVATED by their own beliefs, regardless of how TRUE those beliefs were, were the ones who WON the replication contest. Now, what the heck does this HAVE to do with self-actualization? First of all, most of us misunderstand self actualization to be a FINAL destination. No, not the movie where people keep getting killed by toasters and exploding barbecues. But a place where we can sit and ENJOY this permanent "state" of "self-actualization." But imagine our ancestors. Imagine when THEY felt most "on purpose." When they were relaxing and slowly eating away a slain wooly mammoth? I don't think so. Consider that our ancient ancestors felt BEST when they were getting CLOSER and CLOSER to that wooly mammoth. When, with every passing day, they had more and more evidence they WERE going to finally catch him. When they had that "this is going to be AWESOME!" feeling coursing through their veins. When their senses were heightened. Their teamwork and cohesiveness were at a MAXIMUM. Since we are the SAME PEOPLE today as we were back then, self actualization CAN'T be a "final destination." Self actualization is when ALL our skills were maximized. When our brains, our bodies, our friends, our team members, the support staff are ALL firing on ALL cylinders. When everybody was working together in the PURSUIT of something magnificent. And every day is getting you closer and closer. What would be this situation today? Today we live in a large economy. Not driven by hunting and killing and eating. But by thinking and creating and exchanging. And what is being exchanged? The fruits of your labor, and money. One goes out, the other comes in. Maximize what goes out (creativity, value, labor, etc.). Maximize what comes in (money, income, etc.). Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/prosperity-mindset/
  11. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Nov10Post.mp4 I remember a long, long time ago, when my high school buddy and I were shifting from high school kids to college kids. I'd sent in my application early and had gotten accepted. It wasn't a big deal, since I went to one of those schools that accepts anybody with a pulse. The only benefit to sending in all the apps ahead of time was so you didn't have to worry about signing up for classes at the beginning of the semester. Kind of like having a reservation instead of showing up and having to wait. Anyhow, my buddy had the "show up and wait" strategy. I remember I was hanging out a his place after one failed attempt to drive down (about two hours) and wait in all the lines and fill out all the forms. He bailed about halfway through the line waiting. And I got to witness the conversation between him and his dad. About his failed attempt. I don't remember exactly was said, or even how it was said, but I do remember the vague metaphor his dad used. That if he was driving down their for a sure thing (sex) he wouldn't have bailed. And although he was a close friend, I couldn't help but agree with his dad. If a dude is going to get a lady and he's sure the lady is going to give it up, he'll do ANYTHING to get there. Waiting in line to sign up for remedial algebra, not so much. Humans rarely do things because we are supposed to. To the extent we do, we only do so to avoid negative consequences. But a much better motivator is to the sure thing strategy. If you KNOW you are going to get something good, either money or sex or fame, humans will move heaven and earth to get there. This is HOW modern civilization was built. Now, everything comes easy. More or less. Sure, the IDEAL doesn't come easy. Fame, fortune, fantastic sex from fantastic people. But enough food, enough money to not be homeless, and even sex (with beer goggles and lowered standards) are not very far out of reach. This KILLS our motivation for better things. But that deep motivation can be cultivated. That never ending ambition that drove our ancestors to cross oceans and destroy evil empires. Kids in high school in the early 40's went to fight Nazis. Not because they wanted to. Because they HAD to. So, how to you create that burning desire when we live in a much "safer" world that only a couple generations ago? How can you build such powerful ambition you are DRIVEN to get the BEST possible stuff, (sex, money, fame) and NOT settle for average? Here's How: https://mindpersuasion.com/ambition-generator/
  12. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun18Post.mp4 Why do most goals fail? It's not going to do with willpower. And everything to do with economics. If you don't understand the economics of human decision making, most goals will fail. Especially if you follow most goal setting courses. For example, most goal courses say they should be specific, and time limited. This idea has been repeated so many times, and in so many different KINDS of seminars, it seems like a law of nature. But if you follow those TWO ideas, there is a HIGH probability your goal won't pan out. There are MANY reasons. One is that NOBODY can predict the future. Even with super computers, and highly calibrated weather measuring systems, they still can only GUESS about the weather. Now, weather is a complex system. It falls under the category of chaos theory. Multiple, inter-dependent, polynomial variables. So even when we KNOW the equations to describe the weather system, we can't use those same equations to PREDICT the future weather state. This is a limit of MATHEMATICS. Back when Newton discovered gravity, he had to invent a new kind of mathematics to understand it, and describe it, and predict it. So far, we haven't been able to invent a kind of math that allows us to predict things like the weather. Now compare the weather to human behavior. The weather is an inorganic system. It is absolutely BOUND by objective laws. Humans are very, very subjective. The decision to create any goal is based on your PRESENT, subjective, emotional state. And unless you are a robot or a Vulcan, your subjective emotional state varies a lot. Even more complicated is that all human decisions and actions are BOUND by economics. Nobody does ANYTHING unless they believe the BENEFITS are going to be worth the COSTS. So even a specific goal only a month in the future has a LOW PROBABILITY of happening. When you make the decision TODAY, you only have an IDEA of the costs and benefits. Tomorrow, you might take a few steps toward the goal. Getting new information about those costs and benefits. AND your subjective value of that goal will also change. When you first decide on the goal in the abstract, the costs and benefits become more real. And if you are like every other normal human, you OVERESTIMATE the benefits. And you UNDERESTIMATE the costs. But as you move forward, three things happen. The costs become more real, which tends to make them become HIGHER. The benefits start to seem less appealing, which makes them become LOWER. This causes your subjective opinion about the goal to CHANGE. It is absolutely RATIONAL to give up when you reach the tipping point. When the COSTS become greater than the BENEFITS. What's the solution? Get rid of the two twin demons of goal setting. Forget about a specific outcome. And forget about it being time-limited. This way, you'll keep getting better. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/willpower/
  13. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun15Post.mp4 Why do goals often fail? Is it a lack of willpower? No, it is not. It's actually based on simple economics. Not the kind economics that government goofs talk about. The real kind that exists inside of your head. For every action we take, there are costs. No animal would survive very long if they consistently took action where the costs exceeded the benefits. Think about this from a basic calorie standpoint. If you are going after a piece of food that will give you 500 calories, it only makes sense if expend less than that many calories in getting that piece of food. But for us humans, there are two costs to any action. The kind of costs we need to actually spend. Monetary costs, calorie-energy costs, social exposure costs. But there are also the opportunity costs. Opportunity costs are things you CAN'T get once you go after any one thing. Here's where it gets kind of complicated. When we decide to go after something that may take a few days, we have to IMAGINE both the costs and the benefits. Here is a very silly and extreme example. Suppose you're in a bar, and you see a cutie across the room. You are flirting with them, they are flirting with you. You'd like to go and talk to them. What are the imagined benefits? A nice conversation with a cute person AND a potential romantic relationship. What are the imagined costs? The social exposure, the risks of getting shot down. If she never looked at you, the risks would be very high. Which would make the imagined costs greater than the imagined benefits. But suppose she was REALLY flirting with you. Now the imagined costs are much lower. The imagined benefits are much higher. So you waltz on over, thinking you're in like Flynn. When you get there and say hey, she smiles back at you. But it turns out she's a vampire! Her eyes are gleaming with that evil vampire glint, and her fangs are still dripping blood from her last victim. You flee in terror, happy to make it out of there alive. The imagined costs and benefits turned out to be WAY different than you'd imagined. Based on your initial assumptions, walking over was the LOGICAL thing to do. But once you saw her fangs and the blood thirsty look in her eyes, running away was the LOGICAL thing to do. This is, at it's core, why most goals will ALWAYS fail. Before you start, you have an idea of the costs and the benefits. But as you move closer to your goal, the costs turn out to be bigger than you'd imagined. The benefits turn out to be less than you'd imagined. This means giving up on a goal is JUST AS LOGICAL as running away from a vampire. What's the solution? Change a few filters, and learn to more ACCURATELY estimate both costs and benefits. Do this and you'll start hitting your goals automatically. Learn How: https://mindpersuasion.com/willpower/
  14. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Mar20Post.mp4 Most things are best understood as a numbers game. You talk to 10 girls you might get a couple numbers. You send out a few dozen resumes, and you might get a couple calls. You stand in the batting cages and you might really connect with one out of three or four pitches. This CAN be discouraging. Especially if you focus on every single swing, or approach, or phone call. But the longer you can stretch out your perception, the easier it seems. Especially if you understand from the beginning that it's just a numbers game. Even more so if you are slowly improving. One of the oldest jokes in the entertainment business is the guy walking down the street in New York. He asks a local how to get to Carnegie Hall. The local says, "practice." If you want to get ANYWHERE, you need to practice. On one hand, this kind of sucks. Especially in modern times when everybody is not only entitled but insanely impatient. We want what we want, and we want it NOW. On the other hand, once you get into a routine, you'll ALWAYS be getting some. Getting what? Getting better. When you don't have something but you want something, it can create a paradox of never ending frustration. You want it, you want it NOW, but you don't know HOW you'll get it. This is maddening to say the least. But when you start taking small, tiny, daily steps toward what you want, something pretty cool will happen. In a week or so, you'll look behind you and see how far you've come. You'll look out ahead of you and you'll KNOW how far you'll be going. You'll get rid of that "now-frustration" that is never ending. And replace it with continuous feeling of forward momentum. This means you'll KNOW where you are going. You'll feel it. It will start to change how you feel, what you think, how you speak and behave, and how people perceive you. A "now-frustrated" person is very UN-attractive. Nobody wants to hang around somebody who wants things, wants them now, but doesn't know HOW to get them. This is like hanging around a baby who is constantly screaming. On the other hand, when you develop consistent forward momentum, that is much more attractive. People will you see you, and they IMMEDIATELY notice that you are different than most. They won't see somebody who is dependent on others. They won't see somebody who is frustrated and stuck. They'll see somebody who is going places. Which places? Whichever direction you choose. Transforming your life, and everybody around you. One easy step at a time. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  15. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Mar19Post.mp4 Most of us have plenty of goals. Things we'd like to have, or be able to do. But we either never start, or we've started and given up a few times. Why is goal setting so hard? There can only be two reasons. One is that the thing we are after is unachievable. Or the process we are doing to get the thing is incorrect. Both are hard to stomach. Believing we want something that is impossible is pretty depressing. Equally depressing is to admit we are always doing it wrong. Both have the same result. We want something, but we'll never get it. Money, love, a better job, a better body, etc. Just for a moment, let's assume the second reason. That we're doing it wrong. If we are doing it wrong, that means we can figure out how to do it right. The common way, which we'll assume is the wrong way, is to create a TON of motivation, and charge forward as hard as we can. We'll assume this is the wrong way since it rarely works. But when we try again, we violate Einstein's principle of insanity. Of trying the SAME thing but expecting a different result. Weight loss, strengthening, social confidence, we use the SAME structure, and fail, most of the time. What's the structure? Muscle up and plow through the pain! Grab your balls and go talk to her! Suck it up, get out of bed an hour early and hit the pavement! Look terror in the eye, and knock on enough doors until you get enough sales! Yeah, uh, no. That doesn't work. That whole, create a bunch of motivation of thin air and power through the pain. We need a better way. Or at least another way that doesn't suck so fricking much. The problem is based on economics. And how we compare what we WANT to what we THINK will get us there. Both are based on how well we IMAGINE things. The costs and the benefits. But as we start knocking on doors, or talking to random girls, or running before sunrise, the COSTS become more real. But the benefits are STILL in our imagination. Before we start, it SEEMS the benefits are worth the costs. But the more we push forward with ONLY motivation, the REAL costs get bigger every day. Imagine if you went into your favorite burger shop. And you looked up and saw a burger combo for $4. Uh yea, I'd like the burger combo. But when you went to pay, they wanted $50. Added fees, taxes, etc. Would you pay? Hell, no! Same with motivation. Eventually the REAL costs get so big it's RATIONAL to stop paying. What's the better way? Go. Really. Slow. Keep the costs as SMALL as possible. Forget that motivation nonsense. Instead, build MOMENTUM. Because momentum is self-sustaining. Momentum can lead you ANYWHERE. Learn More: https://mindpersuasion.com/self-esteem/
  16. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jan30Post.mp4 Humans love having goals, but for some reason, they seem hard to achieve. For every milestone we achieve, we have about a kajillion we've given up on. One reason is that most of us are motivated MORE by moving away from pain than we are by moving toward pleasure. But since we don't like to admit this, we pretend we are motivated toward pleasure. But if we really WERE motivated toward pleasure, we would ALWAYS be moving forward. But our behaviors tell a different story. Many of our goals are reframed subconsciously to be toward pleasure, but in reality are away from pain. For example, many people love the idea of financial independence. But this is really to get rid of negative financial situations. For most, financial independence means and ABSENCE of financial pain. Another reason we often fail at our long term goals is we start WAY too fast. Motivation can only take you so far. Momentum, on the other hand, is much, much better. Most people who exercise every day, and have for several years, wouldn't DREAM of ever giving up. People that jog, for example, very much enjoy the process. Of being in the zone, when your mind is kind of drifting, and your body is producing those fantastic endorphins. People that jog or exercise everyday simply assume they will continue to do that the rest of their lives. They don't NEED motivation. Because they have massive momentum. When you are just starting anything, building momentum is critical. To start VERY SLOWLY. This requires you GET RID of any ideas of permanence. Of silly questions like, "How long until the results are permanent?" This question indicates you see the "practice," whatever it is, as ONLY a means to itself. Do it, get the results, and then get on with your life. But if you start slowly, pretty soon the practice will be a means in and of itself. Just like jogging is a benefit IN ITSELF, and it CREATES long term benefits. This is the secret of creating any goal you want. Start slow, go as slowly as you can, until the practice itself is a benefit. Then you will ALWAYS be improving for the rest of your life. And when it comes to practices that will generate continuous improvements for the REST of your life, there are two basic kinds. For your mind, and for your body. For your body, there are plenty. But what about for your mind? Take A Look Here: https://mindpersuasion.com/hypnotic-copywriting/
  17. If you don't know how to do something, it can be frustrating. When it comes to frustration, there is good frustration, and bad frustration. Good frustration is a natural motivator. A very low level "fight or flight" stimulus. And it makes us fight, but in a good way. The most common way is in sports. Frustration can lead to more energy. More energy leads to better performance. We can imagine how this might have been a few thousands of years ago. A hunter keeps missing, and gets frustrated. This makes him angry, which makes him MORE motivated to kill whatever he was hunting. However, like many of our other instincts, frustration can be mis-calibrated. If you are frustrated but don't know HOW to use that energy, this isn't good. This leads to stress and anxiety. There is a lot of ways this can happen. One is when you don't know what to do. Another is when you THINK you know what to do, and you do it, but you DON'T get the results you hoped. This is when you can do the same things over and over and think you'll get something different. Even worse is when somebody shows you how, and you try and copy them, but YOU get much different results than THEY get. This is common in any kind of "boot camp" training. You watch a guru do something, and he gets a fabulous result. Then you try and do the same thing, and fall on your face. The truth is that nearly all skills we humans want to improve, there are WAY too many variables to understand. Even something as simple as cooking requires a lot of practice. You can watch a step by step cooking show and get a completely different result. It's expected that something like cooking takes a lot of practice. But cooking is YOU and the ingredients. The ingredients just sit there. But most of the stuff we REALLY want (relationships, love, money) are WAY more complicated than cooking. But for some reason, we expect to learn them much more quickly than we'd expect to learn to become a decent chef. Maybe it's because a lot of "gurus" promise INSTANT or EASY results. They CAN be easy, but NOT instant. In fact, the SLOWER you go, the easier they are. The FASTER you go, the more variables you miss, and the more BAD frustration you'll create. So long as you keep away from the BAD frustration, you'll only have the good stuff. That makes going forward easy. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/self-help-fail/
  18. Many natural cycles are self-reinforcing. For example, if you are in a bad mood, you will display bad mood energy. This will come across how you walk, how you look at people, and the tone of your voice. This bad mood energy will drive subtle bad mood communication. Which will tend to elicit bad mood responses from others. Which will further maintain your bad mood. Good moods are the same, but opposite. You walk with good mood energy. Good mood posture, good mood eye contact, good mood tonality. This creates good feelings in others, which drives their good mood behavior, which further enhances your good mood. People that are ALWAYS in a good mood tend to ALWAYS make people feel good just by being around. These people are said to "light up a room." People that are always in a bad mood tend to do the opposite. When they show up, everything thinks, "Oh, crap, I hope he doesn't come and talk to me..." These same self fulfilling cycles show up in many, many places. And some of the negative ones are so powerful they ruin our lives. Addictions, for example, are like that. They start off innocently enough. Trying something to feel good. But that only makes you want more. That ends up taking a toll on your body and your finances. Pretty soon you need a hit just to feel "normal." Finances can be the same way. Like a drug. Buying nice stuff feels pretty good. But the more stuff you buy, the less good it feels. Pretty soon your credit cards are maxed out, and there's no end in sight. Of course, there are plenty opposite cycles as well. These are very positive, and very powerful. Very life sustaining. Life enriching. You do things that make you feel good. But these same things ALSO improve your ability to do more things that make you feel good. Exercise is a perfect example. Once you get past a certain point, it feels GOOD to exercise. But it also IMPROVES your ability to exercise. The more you do, the more you CAN do. Positive habits are like this. And they all share one thing in common. They take a while to get going. Bad habits are the opposite. They are very EASY to start, and very HARD to stop. Good habits, on the other hand, are HARD to start. But once you get them going, they get easier and easier. And more and more rewarding. Most people think in terms of doing X to get Y. Do something, get something, and then stop doing that thing. Consider this idea a dangerous myth. That instead, it's a much better idea to build positive habits. So positive outcomes are natural and consistent. And happen automatically. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  19. Very often, something that feels good in the short term can add up to long term pain. It feels good to sleep in every day, and it sucks to get up at the crack of dawn. But it's easy to imagine how sleeping in EVERY DAY can slowly destroy your productivity. While on the other hand, getting up at the crack of dawn will tend to INCREASE your productivity. Similarly, food that tastes REALLY GOOD tends to add up. The better it tastes, and the quicker it tastes better, the worse it generally is for you. On the other hand, food that is healthy tends to be things you have to acquire a taste for. Or at least acquire a habit of eating. Doing physical labor, or exercise, isn't inherently pleasurable. Only by slowly associating the benefits that come with exercise make it pleasurable. But even then it's not nearly as "enjoyable" as relaxing, or getting a nice massage. This is easy to see when the pleasure is physical. Sleeping late, eating fast food, getting massages. All feel fantastic, and all will have negative impacts on health if that's ALL you do. But mentally pleasurable things are JUST as dangerous. It turns out that in terms of calories per gram, our brain is our most expensive organ. Thinking literally is hard work. Watching TV is easier than studying calculus. But just like jumping from the couch to the weight machine CAN BE dangerous, so can switching your mental skills. If you were 500 pounds overweight, and you wanted to get in shape, you would naturally ease into it. Because if you didn't, you would FEEL IT. There would be a real and present danger of doing too much too soon. I had a roommate once that tried that. Decided he was going to go down to the track and do some sprints. Unfortunately he hadn't worked out in years. After only ONE DAY of sprints, he could barely walk. Messed up BOTH knees. If you jump from the TV to the calculus book, you can do similar damage. You won't exactly break your brain, but it won't be pleasant. And unfortunately, EVERY SINGLE TIME you try something like that, you'll build an association. That doing mental work is hard and painful. On the other hand, if you go VERY SLOWLY, it's much easier. AND you have a much better chance of building the OPPOSITE associations. That doing mentally strenuous work is pleasurable. Just like exercising is for those who do it habitually. It takes while to ease your brain into this. But imagine the things you could do once you train your brain that doing mentally difficult things is enjoyable. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  20. If you did a survey of most successful people, you would find some interesting things. One is that most people never had ANY idea they would be successful in the way they were successful. For example, Jeff Bezos, the richest man on Earth, got started selling hardback books online. Now Amazon makes most of it's money from cloud storage. They are known for selling physical products, but that is a very tiny portion of their business. But if you asked Bezos twenty years ago, he wouldn't have had ANY IDEA that he'd be a billionaire from cloud storage. (True story: One of his biggest clients is the U.S. Government) Once I saw a movie of a concert the Stones did in San Francisco. It was for a fund raiser about ten years ago. Interspersed with concert footage was very old black and white clips. One of an interview with Mick Jagger in his twenties. The question was, "How long do you think you'll guys will be doing this?" His answer? "Dunno, maybe a couple more years?" Ask any couple who's been happily together for years and you WON'T find many stories of love at first sight. You will hear plenty of stories that sound like, "I never would have thought I'd be with somebody like this!" What does all this mean? That the future is INSANELY hard to predict. The most successful people had NO IDEA they would be successful the way they would. So, the money question: How can we REVERSE ENGINEER their success strategy? One clue would be to NOT be dependent on a SPECIFIC future. To have a very VAGUE drive. And combine that with a huge amount of flexibility of how we define success. This sounds OPPOSITE to what most goal books teach. Most goal books say we need to create a very SPECIFIC desire. To make it CLEAR in our minds. Imagine if Bezos ONLY allowed himself to make money by selling books! Combined with a VAGUE definition of success, the other critical factor is a DRIVE. A relentless drive to KEEP TRYING THINGS. See what works, see what doesn't. Keep doing what works, and keep changing what doesn't. The two most important factors of success are the drive, and the flexibility. If you can combine these two together, it's hard to fail. But you have to accept that your success won't be defined until you get there. And when you DO get there, you'll STILL want to keep going. So even the word "goal" is incorrect. Because goal implies a "finish line." And one common theme among all super achievers is they are NEVER finished. So get started. And NEVER finish. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  21. A common and very lazy writing technique is called "deus ex machina." It means "god from the machine." It generally refers to books or movies where the hero's are rescued by a sudden character that wasn't there before. It usually happens when the story starts off pretty good, but the only way the writers can figure out how the heroes can win in the end is by some unpredictable magic. Stories that are much better tend to have solutions at the end that you can sort of (at least retrospectively) see coming. These tend to be very enjoyable. So enjoyable they make us want to watch the movie over and over again to see the clues that we missed the first time. On the other hand, movies that end with an unexpected solution out of nowhere are not so enjoyable. Unfortunately, most of us plan our lives with the "deus ex machina" strategy. We expect some entity OUTSIDE of ourselves to show up and save the day. We expect something to be "given" to us. At the very least, we expect our situation to somehow change to make it EASIER for us to get what we want. You can generally tell by asking people some simple questions. If you ask them to imagine fantastic success in a couple of years, and then look back to now, and explain how it happened. Most people will need some kind of deus ex machina event. They meet somebody that does the work for them, or they happen to wander into the right relationship. While it certainly FEELS fantastic to be the recipient of such luck, it begs the question. Why us? Meaning if some other person or situation is going to single US out to give us a big break, or make it easy for us to turn our dreams into reality, why us? Not not the billions of other people? This presents a paradox. The more we DREAM about a big and fantastic future, the more we'll depend on some kind of "deus ex machina" event to make it happen. And the less likely it will happen. On the other hand, if you CONSTRAIN your future to YOUR behavior, it's much likelier to happen. Does this mean that you can't dream big? Not at all. This is another paradox. If you talk to successful people, you'll find they had no idea that they would be successful in the way they actually were. But they did constrain their dreams to their own actions. And when you combine these two elements, it's actually much more powerful than hoping for magic. Because when you dream big, you are dreaming of the future YOU. That CAN exist. Not some magic wish fairy. Which will never exist. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  22. There's an idea in economics called "diminishing returns." Unfortunately, most people never study economics. For one, it's not taught in school. And since it's used as a "tool" to "control" society, they make it seem much harder than it really is. It's actually not even a science. It's more of a description of natural human behavior. For example, suppose you were on a diet. And it was the kind of diet that allowed one cheating day per week. And on your upcoming cheating day, you were going to have a huge bowl of chili cheese fries. The first fry would be absolutely delicious. And the next, and the next. But pretty soon, the more fries you ate, the less delicious they'd be. Pretty soon you'd be stuffed, and the thought of eating ANOTHER fry might make you shudder in agony. It's called "diminishing returns" because you keep doing the same thing, namely, shoveling a cheese and chili covered french fry into your mouth. But each subsequent one gives you LESS pleasure. The SAME behaviors, over time, deliver LESS return. Or the returns (for your efforts) diminish. Of course, when economists talk about diminishing returns, they don't usually talk about eating chili cheese fries. They talk about things like hiring workers for your business. Suppose you had ten workers. And you wanted to hire one more. And one more worker got you an increase in productivity of 10%. (10 to 11 gives you a 10% increase) Going from ten to eleven workers would increase productivity by 10% And suppose that one worker cost you $50,000 per year. So far so good, right? But if you added ANOTHER worker, for ANOTHER $50,000 per year, you would get LESS return for the SAME increase in pay. Going from 11 workers to 12 would only get you an increase of 9% increase. But that 9% increase (11 workers to 12) would cost the same as a 10% increase (10 workers to 11). Turns out this idea of diminishing returns is EVERYWHERE. And unless you fully understand it, it can mess you up. If you've ever set a goal, perhaps you've tried using a VISION BOARD. Or maybe writing goal statements everywhere. But guess what? Those have diminishing returns as well. That first day you put up a vision board, for example, it feels pretty good to look at. But just like the chili fries, each day you look at it, it will motivate you less and less. This is ONE PROBLEM that keeps many people from not achieving their goals. A misunderstanding of basic human behavior. The good news is that with a more thorough understanding, and a re-engineered goal strategy, setting and getting "goals" (they really shouldn't be called that) is MUCH easier. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  23. Once upon a time a bunch of people in France got angry. So angry they decided to run around chopping off people's heads. This, of course, was the French Revolution. Problem is once a gang of revolutionaries start to kill the nobles, it's kind of hard to stop. Kind of like thinking you're going to eat one spoonful of ice cream. Or one potato chip. But when those angry French dudes finally stopped killing, they set up a new government. But as you would expect, they were still kind of excited about their new country, after their revolution. So some of the ideas they conjured up didn't fly so well. One of them was the idea of turning TIME into the metric system. 100 hours per day. Hundred minutes per hour. Hundred seconds per minute. I suppose it sounded good in theory, and maybe a few clock companies thought they might make bank, but most people quickly realized how foolish it was. Lots of us do that. Not have bloody revolutions, but we come up with ideas that SEEM good at the time, but in retrospect, we gotta ask ourselves: Dude, what were you thinking? Everybody knows the famous line about insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again and hoping for a different result. Unfortunately, we humans don't have very good memories. So that, "doing the same thing over and over idea" only makes sense in the short term. Because on the LONG term, we DO do the same things. Over and over and over again. And since the LAST TIME we tried them was so long ago, we actually think THIS TIME it's going to work. So even if it IS the same thing, we don't quite remember the last time, so it FEELS different. Even worse is when we try the same STRUCTURES over and over again. Because it's even harder for us to notice STRUCTURES, we try the same unsuccessful structures over and over again. But since this same STRUCTURE is tried in different areas, we don't really recognize that it's the same. So we keep failing. If you've ever tried to achieve something difficult, and have failed, you aren't alone. Most people continually try and fail. In finance, in personal relationships, in health areas. And since SO MANY people keep trying and failing, maybe there is something deeper going on. Maybe it's the STRUCTURE, not the people. Maybe there is a much better STRUCTURAL WAY to get what we want. What might that way be? Find Out Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/goal-setting-sucks/
  24. Beavers build dams. Bees build hives. Ants build hills. Certain slugs look around for certain shells. Scientists call this an "extended phenotype." A genotype is the actual genes. The phenotype is the thing the genes create. For example, the genotype for blue eyes is a specific sequence of nucleotides on your DNA. Then the DNA unravels, turns into RNA, and turns into a mini-protein assembly line. Individual pieces float down, link into the RNA, then link together and float off into your body. Those pieces of proteins link together in the final product. The final product, or the configuration as those proteins are linked together, is the phenotype. This is how your DNA, safely hidden and tightly wound together in the nucleus of every cell, creates your body. Your body being the phenotype. Your genotype (DNA) uses RNA to build your body (phenotype). What is an "extended phenotype?" It's kind of cool. Instead of the DNA building the proteins directly, it builds brains. Brains that have instincts. The DNA of a bee, for example, builds the little bee-brain. Then the bee brain is built to instinctively build the bee-hive. The DNA builds the brain, the brain builds the hive. So not only can DNA build bodies of animals, but it can build brains of those animals to build specific things OUTSIDE of the body. So bees make hives, ants make hills, beavers make dams. What do humans make? Human DNA (and the human brains our DNA builds for us) takes it a step further. Beavers, for example, have been building the same kind of dams since the dawn of time. Over and over and over and over. What do humans build? What is OUR extended phenotype? More! More of what? More of whatever there. Not just more, but better. All the brains of the all the animals look out into the world and INSTINCTIVELY build the same stuff over and over. Humans look out into the world, see what has ALREADY been built (by previous humans) and think: "Hmm, how could I make this even better?" To be able to do that, our human brains have some MAGNIFICENT capabilities. Imagination. Hallucination, individually and collectively. We imagine what DOES NOT EXIST, and somehow bring it from the world of hallucinations to the world of reality. But there's a catch. Humans also have tons of ancient instincts. Instincts that PREDATE our super genius brains. The kind of instincts that make us behave like dumb, non-thinking pack animals. Which makes most of us NEVER use our genius brains. This is when we unthinkingly follow the crowd. Or only believe what the experts on TV say. Or only do things because the are familiar. In that regard, we are kind of on the border. Each one of us. We can lean forward into the future and use our brains. Or we can rely on our instincts from the past. And follow crowds and authority and safety. One path is safe and boring and common. One path is an exciting adventure, fraught with danger and peril. Choose Wisely: http://mindpersuasion.com/gurutrap/
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