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Found 42 results

  1. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Sept02Post.mp4 We humans have a lot of biases. Once upon a time, they were pretty helpful. If you were wandering through some random jungle looking for bananas, you would have two powerful filters. One of them would be anything that looked yellow. That might be a banana. The other would be for something that looked orange. That might be a tiger. These two biases would help you find food, and keep you from being food. When our environment was food and animals, our biases worked PERFECTLY. But now our environment is other people. And it's not so easy. It's way more complicated. There is WAY more data hitting our senses. And the data is FAR more open to interpretation. Today if somebody starts yelling at you, there's no telling why. Back in the caveman days, yellow meant banana. Orange meant tiger. There was very little confusion. Two different people seeing the same yelling person will have two completely different responses. One will see it as PROOF that they, the observer, is broken and doesn't deserve to be happy. Another will see it as PROOF that they, the yeller, is crazy. They might even use that to tell a funny story at a party that weekend. "Dude, I was at the bus stop and this lady started screaming at me for not reason! It was hilarious!" Something that makes it even MORE complicated is the idea of reinforcing cycles. This is KIND OF related to the jungle days. If you found some yellow in one area of the jungle, that might mean there were MORE bananas in that area. But if you remembered seeing orange in one section, that might mean that was the tiger section of the jungle. Stay Out! But when we look out into a sea of people, we reference our past. If we had a crappy past, we'll use that to make assumptions about what we see. If we had a happy past, we'll use that to make assumptions about what we see. The MORE you reference a certain side of your past, good OR bad, the MORE you'll see that around you. And the MORE you'll continue to reference that side. You CAN change how you reference your past. Which will change how you interpret your present. Which WILL change your future. It's kind of like changing course of a humongous tanker on the ocean. You've got to do is SLOWLY. You've got to do is CAREFULLY. You've got to do it SAFELY. But once you change course, it's set for life. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/social-anxiety-killer/
  2. https://loopvids.s3.amazonaws.com/Jun13Post.mp4 One common piece of "advice" is to fake it till you make it. Sometimes this works pretty well. Other times it is bad advice. It works well when there is a simple correlation between inner state and outer behavior. And it's in an environment that is conducive. What's this mean? Normally, we think and behave naturally. We don't think about how we think. And we don't think about our thinking affects our behavior. Like if you are happy, you will naturally smile. But you can first smile, and hold it until it affects your inner state. And if you happen to be in a conducive environment, other people will see you smile and some will smile back. So if you are unhappy inside, but you FORCE yourself to exhibit happy behavior by smiling, you're faking it. Because it's a pretty close correlation between inner state and outer behavior, AND the environment is conducive to this, this is where faking it till you make it works. Even better is when you combine two simple "faked states." Like if you FORCE yourself to walk more upright and confident, AND you smile. If you're around fairly friendly people, this will work pretty well. On the other hand, faking it till you make it is HORRIBLE advice. Imagine trying this when selling $500 vacuum cleaners door to door. And you were trying to "fake" being the greatest vacuum cleaner salesman of all time. The reason this would be a disaster is neither of the two conditions are present. Not only is there NOT a simple correlation between inner state and outer behavior, but there is the OPPOSITE of a conducive environment. Most self help advice is like this. Pretty simple, and useful in SOME situations, but not in many. Sure, they sound good. Which means they're easy to remember. But in order to achieve real and continued success, you need to have a lot of skills. Inner skills and outer skills. Inner skills of thinking and feeling. Outer skills of speaking and behaving. And skills of reading the inner state of others. Often, this is the missing ingredient in a LOT of situations. You can remember all the best language patterns and techniques. But if you use them at the wrong time, with the wrong person, they'll backfire. The more you can READ the internal state of the person you're interacting with, the less you need to worry about complex external behavior. And more often than not, being able to accurately read others simply means turning OFF your inner anxiety. Since humans, in our natural state, are resonators. We can FEEL what each other is thinking and feeling with a lot of accuracy. But only when you get rid of the useless junk inside. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/eq/
  3. If you ever get stuck in a social situation and you don't know what to do, it's usually too late. Humans behave BEST when we are operating mostly subconsciously. Automatically. In sports, the coveted flow state is when you are operating at a very high level AND mostly unconsciously. When it seems like you are WATCHING yourself perform. This can happen socially as well. For most of us, this happens with close friends with whom we have a ton of built in rapport. This is when conversations flow and good times roll. But it is also possible to create this social flow state with people you've just met. This requires we think a little meta. If you want to get good at something, you have to practice. The more you practiced, the higher level of unconscious competence you'd become. For example, it's pretty easy to get to the level of unconscious competence playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on the piano. But getting to that same level of unconscious competence while playing something like Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata would take a LOT more practice. So how can you develop unconscious competence, that flow state, with social situations involving people you DON'T KNOW? By practicing talking to people you don't know. Most people don't like this idea. They only like the idea of talking to somebody they are interested in. This is actually a form of self-deception. They think about being social and outgoing around EVERYBODY, and it scares them. So they cover up this fear by saying things like, "Why would I talk to THAT person? I'm not interested in them!" But by practicing friendly small talk with EVERYBODY, you'll be practicing social skills on a META level. And you'll soon get to know "people" on a structural level. After you talk to ENOUGH people, you'll realize TWO THINGS about everybody. One, that everybody is unique in some way. Two, everybody is VERY SIMILAR in many ways. And once you feel this similarity on a deep and unconscious level, all fear will VANISH. This means talking to anybody NEW will seem familiar. Which means it will be much easier to enter into that free flowing, outcome independent flow state. Which everybody finds INSANELY attractive. This REQUIRES that you see small talk as something you PRACTICE. Not something you do because you ONLY enjoy it. That would be like somebody who doesn't exercise because they don't enjoy it. It takes a while to ENJOY exercising. And it will always be BOTH a means and an end. So will small talk. It may suck to think of practicing it. But when it becomes both a means and an end, you will be developing some very rare, and very attractive, social skills. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  4. Humans are curious creatures. If you saw some guy up on stage jamming with his guitar, you'd assume he'd spent a lot of time practicing. If you saw some ripped guy or gal walking down the street, you'd assume they spent a lot of time in the gym. And a lot of time eating healthy food. If you met somebody that spoke several languages, you'd assume they spent a lot of time practicing. But sometimes we see people with skills, and we just assume they were born with those skills. It's even more complicated when we understand that some people have certain advantages. For example, if somebody grows up in a family that speaks many languages, and the live in a country that speaks many languages, and they go to a school that speaks many languages, their multi-language skill was more or less passively learned. But that's not the ONLY way to learn many languages. Anybody can learn many languages. IF they are willing to put in the time and effort. And if they are willing to pay the opportunity costs. What are opportunity costs? The things you GIVE UP in order to learn the skill. Opportunity costs come with everything. Learning skills, getting in shape, losing weight. EVERYBODY would LOVE a magic pill that gives them an instant skill. Everybody would LOVE to play and instrument, but few are willing to put in the time. Everybody would LOVE to have a toned body, but few are willing to put in the time. Some skills can SEEM even harder. Like communication and persuasion skills. These seem to be LOCKED behind a wall of social anxiety. Sure, practicing the piano is BORING. But it doesn't cause any anxiety. But things like persuasion are paradoxically HARDER than playing the piano. Why paradoxically? Because while the skills themselves are fairly easy, they are ASSOCIATED with tons of anxiety. The added anxiety makes them seem TERRIFYING to learn. But take away the anxiety, and learning things like persuasion is EASY. Even EASIER is something like seduction. Of talking to people and getting them INTERESTED in you. Removing the anxiety makes learning skills like this VERY ENJOYABLE. So much that the opportunity costs essentially drop to zero. This requires that you go SLOWER than you want to. To build up momentum. To get to the point where you WANT to move forward, but you must consciously slow yourself down. When you get to this point, learning how to SEDUCE PEOPLE because very, very enjoyable. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  5. Long, long ago, we humans didn't need to think very much. We were DRIVEN by our instincts. Those with the strongest instincts survived. Since food was hard to get, those who were always the HUNGRIEST were the most successful. Sexual desire is another powerful instinct. Humans are primates. And different primates have different strategies on how to deal with sex. Human females don't make it obvious when they are ovulating. Other primates, like chimps, do. Plenty of studies have shown that when a woman is ovulating, she finds a different type attractive than when she is not. Whether she acts on this attraction is a completely different story. Kind of like eating. If you are on a diet, and it's important to you, you'll feel ATTRACTED to certain foods, but not eat them. Just like men and women can feel ATTRACTION to certain people and not act on it. It wasn't always like this. Our instincts were created to DRIVE our behavior. So when ancient cave ladies were ovulating, they were naturally attracted to the MOST ALPHA looking and acting guy around. This makes sense in an ancient setting. When it was VERY important for her to have kids with a guy who would have the HIGHEST probability of providing for her and her kids. But just like hunger can be managed, so can attraction. If we ONLY ate what looked good, we'd all super fat. If we ONLY blindly obeyed our sexual desires, we'd be a mess. However, there is one thing that usually doesn't get much attention. And the attention it DOES get is the wrong kind. What I'm referring to is MALE sexual desire. When dudes get horny, they get desperate. And since most dudes are very UNDERSEXED, most dudes are VERY DESPERATE. Women know this. All too well. Just look at any girl that's got tons of orbiters. She KNOWS she can manipulate them. The trick is to NOT be one of those guys. Desperate for female attention and affection. How do you do this? There are TWO very powerful ways. One is to make a habit of making small talk with anybody you can. Men, women, old people, young people. Once you develop the habit of talking to anybody, anywhere, anytime about anything, you'll radiate a different kind of energy. The second is to get a handle on your sexual energy. If you wanted to stay healthy, you'd have to feel hungry and not eat. No way around that. To radiate non-needy energy, you'd do the same with your sexual energy. Feel it, but learn to live with it. WITHOUT expressing it. Napoleon Hill talked about this. Many ultra successful people know this. The BEST part is if you combine this with some very basic social skills, you will send out a very rare energy to women. It will make you seem unattainable, and therefore VERY attractive. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  6. A common technique in self development is to fake it till you make it. This works great in some situations, but not so great in others. The shorter the bridge between faking it and making it, the easier it is. For example, if you don't feel confident, you CAN fake it enough until you really DO feel confident. Start to walk confidently. Shoulders back, face forward. Confident expression on your face. This "fake" exterior will be believable by others. They will respond to your "fake" confidence. Their response will slowly make you feel REAL confidence. This REAL confidence will then subconsciously drive your expressions and behavior. First you faked it. Then you made it. Other times, this isn't so difficult. The more and complex your interactions are with others, the harder it is. The greater the distance between what you are faking and what you are feeling, the harder it is. If you are looking for a long term relationship with a high quality woman, this can end in DISASTER. How? It's possible to fake enough confidence to have a decent conversation. Even a few dates. Even enough for SEX. But something happens to a lot of guys once they have sex. This is an instinctive thing. And instincts are VERY HARD to ignore. Once a guy has sex with a girl, it makes him FEEL completely differently about her. At least it CAN. This means it's a billion times more difficult to keep up with the fake confidence. The REAL you shows up. This often comes across when guys express their TRUE feelings. Said too soon, this will scare a girl away. This is behind the FEMALE JOKE about guys being like bathroom tile. Lay them once and you can walk all over them forever. This is because once a guy has SEX with a girl, his ancient instincts are telling him to hang on for dear life. Since our ancient instincts think we only have ONE chance to have sex. This is something that it's VERY DIFFICULT to "fake until you make." Unless you are a stone cold sociopath player. How can you get around this? GO SLOWLY. Get to know plenty of girls at once. Always have a backup plan. Talk to any girl you can. Whether you are attracted to her or not. Play the VERY LONG game. SLOWLY build up your deep relationships skills so you don't have to FAKE anything. This takes a LOT of time. But it will save a LOT of heartache. And in the long run, it will make you INSANELY attractive. Giving a much higher quality of women to choose from. And she'll feel those feelings WAY before you do. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  7. One of the toughest questions to get is about your job. This could be in a regular friendly conversation. Or it could be a cute girl you've been talking to. Everything's going GREAT. Until.... So, uh what do you do? If you happened to HAVE a fantastic job, that's fine. But most people don't. So, what DO you say? The TRUTH is always a good place to start. But HOW you express the truth is EXTREMELY flexible. Saying you work at Taco Bell COULD be "a" truth. But another truth could be your PLANS for the future. But how you express those plans will make all the difference. If you express your plans the RIGHT way, they'll sound VERY REAL. Even if you DO work at Taco Bell, so long as you not only HAVE a realistic plan, you'll be fine. So long as you talk about so it indicates you are IN THE PROCESS of making it happen. How do you do this, exactly? It starts by figuring out what you REALLY want to do. Five years out or so. Not some kind of vague wish. That won't do it. "Yeah, now I work at Taco Bell but I'd really like to get into medicine some day!" That sounds very much like everybody else's plan. To sit around and WAIT for the magic career fairy to show up. Instead, start to really MAKE plans. For example, if you really DID want to get into medicine, take some time to think about that. What specific job would you have? What kind of training would that require? What would you have to do to qualify for that training? What kinds of things would you need to do to get STARTED moving closer to that? How we speak represents how we think. And women it comes to female attraction, females are HARD WIRED to be attracted to MEN who are MAKING things happen. They are NOT attracted (beyond looks) to guys who sit around and WAIT for things to happen. Imagine a bunch of cave people 25,000 years ago. The ladies who were naturally attracted to goofs who sat around waiting for animals to walk up and surrender didn't last long. The ladies who were attracted to natural killers DID. And that is what gets their instinctive juices flowing. Guys who are IN THE PROCESS of making their lives. So no matter WHAT you do NOW, so long as you HAVE a real plan, and you express it as a real plan, it will do the trick. This takes time. It takes while to build this thinking and communication into your brain. So when a random person asks what you do, it will come out naturally. And when it does, you'll set yourself apart from EVERYBODY. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  8. It's a very common idea to NOT do something SPECIFICALLY to attract women. This is a very good idea. Because if you are ONLY doing things to attract women, or any particular women, this is dangerous. You're basically sending a message to her, and your subconscious that getting a woman is MORE important than living a successful life. Most guys do this when they put women up on a pedestal. The make her seem much better than they really are. This is a form of one-itis. When you have an IMAGINATION of her that is not based on reality. When you fall in love with an idealized version of her. But this can also happen when you try to pursue women in general. You start to focus on doing things ONLY to get women. For example, when you buy clothing ONLY to impress women, this can be dangerous. However, there is a LOT of overlap. Meaning if you ONLY focus on living a successful life, then chances are you will be MORE attractive to women. In this way, the general attraction you are generating WITHIN a large number of women can be a very useful measurement. A side effect. Especially when you consider that women are attracted to non-verbal behaviors. The type of non-verbal behaviors that are highly associated with general male leadership. This can be very confusing. Many guys try and FAKE alpha behavior. This can work well in the short term. But it's generally ONLY associated with short term female attraction. Deep and intuitive alpha behavior is picked up on by both men and women. Deep and intuitive alpha behavior will make you more attractive to PEOPLE in general. More men will WANT to follow you. More women will WANT to be with you. The truth about female attraction triggers is they are attracted to male behaviors. Behaviors that indicate general success potential. Since the dawn of time, men have been PRODUCTIVE. And women have been ATTRACTIVE. The job of women is to choose the most productive man and seduce him. This gives us a very keen insight. That if you measure the attraction you are creating in women, the deep intuitive attraction, this is ALSO a strong measure of your masculinity. Not fake masculinity, where you are worried about what to say and what to wear and how to act. REAL and deep masculinity. That is EXTREMELY rare today. The kind of masculinity that builds financial empires. The kind of masculinity that leads men to conquer nations. The kind of masculinity that all women deeply crave. If you work on building this kind of masculinity, you can choose from among a whole slew of women. For whatever reasons you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  9. One of the biggest killers of attraction is to make your intentions known. One of Dale Carnegie's most helpful insights is the idea that you can get anybody to do anything so long as they believe it's their idea. Which means if you are CONSCIOUSLY trying to create attraction, it won't work very well. Best case is you are her only choice. And she ALREADY has a baseline level of attraction. But if you come out of nowhere, and start talking to her, it's very difficult to CREATE attraction from nothing. It's especially hard if she sense's that is your intention. If she DOES become attracted to you, it will be IN SPITE OF your conscious efforts. Why is this? Because you absolutely cannot consciously create attraction. This is the deep natural subconscious attraction. This ISN'T a girl consciously deciding the TYPE of guy she wants. When it comes to girls and guys, a food metaphor is appropriate. Nobody can CONVINCE you (or anybody else) to LIKE a certain kind of food. Sure, they can convince you that it's healthy, and good for you. But only your SUBCONSCIOUS can determine if you LIKE something or not. If it gives you PLEASURE while you eat it or think about eating it. But you CAN figure out how to COOK SOMETHING that has a high probability of being liked to many people. You can do some reverse engineering of what many people eat. Find out what kind of restaurants are popular, etc. So if you were having a dinner party, for example, you could figure out BEFORE HAND what kind of food people would like. Then make that. But it would be IMPOSSIBLE to talk somebody into liking something that they didn't like. Sure, you could convince them it was HEALTHY. That they SHOULD eat it. But you'd never be able to convince somebody to like it. Girls being attracted to guys works exactly the same way. The guys that she is NATURALLY attracted to is beyond her choice. And it's beyond your choice as well. At least in the short term. If a girl REALLY likes you, you can get away with a lot. If a girl DOESN'T like you, there's not much you can do. But if you understand the types of guys she and other girls NATURALLY like, you can slowly build in those characteristics. Turns out there are some very SIMPLE exercises that you can do. The MORE you do the, the more girls will be naturally attracted to you. While you can't get A GIRL to like you, you CAN get many, many GIRLS to like you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/girls-like-you/
  10. Imagine two fighters. Boxers if you will. One guy has spent tons of time practicing lots of techniques. The other guy, not so much. But the first guy, with all the moves, is in very terrible condition. He is barely able to stand up after a couple minutes. He's so exhausted, he hangs on to the other fighter for dear life. But the second fighter, the guy who has very little techniques is in VERY good shape. He can dance and around and bounce on his feet for a full twelve rounds. Who do you think would win the fight? Unless the first guy got lucky, he would be too tired to do much. None of his advanced techniques would do squat if he was too tired to lift his arms. When it comes to any kind of martial art, it's clear that physical conditioning is as important, if not more, than the actual fighting techniques. Now, this metaphor is not entirely realistic. Because it would be hard to practice fighting techniques without also getting into shape. So we can imagine another pair of fighters. This time, their skills are equal. But one guy is in WAY better shape than the other guy. Obviously, the guy who was in better shape would win. What's this got to do with anything? When it comes to social behavior, interactive social behavior, there is inner game, and outer game. Outer game is kind of like the technical skills. Knowing what to say, and how to say it. Inner game is much more like physical conditioning. In a fighting metaphor, if you are too tired, you can't really use any of your technical skills. In a social situation, a weak inner game means you'll be spending A LOT of brainpower being worried or anxious. So any of the stuff you practiced before won't to mind. This is EXACTLY what happens when you practice a speech until you've got it down PERFECTLY. But then when you stand up to give it, it VANISHES from your brain. Your brain essentially freezes. This is why having solid inner game is much, much more important than any outer game techniques. But most people don't pay much attention to inner game. Since most people don't know HOW to strengthen their inner game. Most people simply assume that stronger inner game comes from experience. But this is incorrect. In fact, there are plenty of ways to build up a rock solid inner game, just like you could build up rock solid conditioning. You can do this alone, without needing to interact with anybody. And the longer you practice, the stronger your inner game will be. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/party-hero/
  11. https://mindpersuasion.com/art-gallery-seduction/
  12. Some things you can learn relatively quickly. These are things with more of a binary level of skill. You can either do them, or you can't. These are things like driving, tying your shoes, making a sandwich, etc. Some skills have no upper limit. For most of us, learning how to cook is a binary thing. Once you learn how, you stop worrying about it. Sure, you might pick up a few new skills, learn a few new recipes, but for most of us, once you learn to cook, we don't normally think of practicing our cooking skills on the weekend. If you were a master chef, on the other hand, you would. Or if cooking was a hobby, you would be always wanting to learn more. Some skills are like this. Kind of in the middle. You COULD learn more if you wanted to. But for most of us, once we learn a basic level, we're good. Most of us aren't professional racecar drivers, so we figure once we learn to drive, we think of DOING rather than improving. Some skills are either hobbies or professional skills. You could take up painting as a hobby, continue to learn the rest of your life, and never really consider yourself a professional artist. But there are other skills that are more like META skills. The better you get at these, the better you will do everywhere else. For example, being able to manage your finances effectively is a meta skill. Part of having a robust set of financial skills is understanding various investments. Even if you NEVER considered managing other people's money, you could spend a couple hours a week learning about investments and never run out stuff to learn. It's pretty clear that doing this would benefit you. Another skill that most don't even THINK of as a skill is speaking. Speaking is one of those things we don't even think about. We just figure out how to do it. Rarely do we take time to think about what we are going to say. Giving a speech, asking for a raise, asking out girl, etc. These are considered RARE events in our lives. Most of the time, we have some random thoughts and try and use poorly chosen words to describe them. But once you start to PRACTICE your speaking skills, you'll also be practicing something else. Your thinking skills. You can't really practice speaking without practicing thinking. And if you make a point to practice THESE two things, you'll gain IMMENSE power in nearly every area of your life. Unless you plan on becoming a professional mime, or any kind behind the scenes job, how you SPEAK will be an indication of how you THINK. Do both of those well, and you can build any life you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
  13. If you were to practice any of the defensive arts, you would need two areas of focus. One would be the actual fighting skills. These are things that would need to be drilled down to the level of unconscious competence. Unless you had some of time freezing device, when a punch is coming, you don't have time to think and calculate the best response. All the blocks and counter punches must be drilled to the level of unconscious competence. Otherwise you'll get punched in the face. The same goes for language patterns. Most people don't like to hear this. It's very common to want to read a bunch of patterns in a book, and then be able to use them in the moment. Unfortunately, it's very rare that they'll say something, you'll say something, and they won't say anything else. This would be like practicing a punch and hoping it's a knockout punch. Most punches are NOT knockout punches. And most statements you can memorize and say are NOT knockout statements either. So practicing them is essential. And so is practicing your response to the things they MIGHT say. But there is another thing you can practice. Something that is much easier to practice, but JUST AS DEADLY as a metaphorical knockout punch. Imagine one of those comedy movies. Where somebody walks up to a really big guy and punches him as hard as he can in the face. And the big guy is absolutely unfazed. He looks at the puncher, as if he is waiting for him to do something. This is usually when the puncher realizes the trouble he's in. There was an episode of the Simpsons where Homer did this. They found out they could put him in a ring, and let an otherwise professional boxer keep hitting him. Because Homer is Homer, he just stands there getting punched until the other guy gets tired and gives up. This is something you can develop. Not actually getting punched. But becoming completely NON-FAZED by any insults. They hit you with the worst insults and look at them. Trying to figure out what they meant. Your face and body language show ZERO impact from the "insult." This will make the insulter feel like and idiot. The more he tries to insult you, the more you stand there waiting for him to make sense. Developing this skill will give you a very powerful reputation. It will take some practice, but it's pretty easy. You can practice at home all by yourself. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
  14. Professional pickpockets choose their victims carefully. Do anything for a while and you'll learn the finer points. For pickpockets and muggers, they need a certain type of victim. Ones that won't fight back. Ones that will be too scared to remember what they look like. They can tell within a few moments whose a likely candidate and who isn't. They are, in a sense, body language experts. They can tell who's confident, so they avoid them. They can tell who isn't, so they stalk them. Not unlike lions carefully watching a pack of gazelles. They know who is the easiest to catch, and who isn't. They know who is the safest to catch, and who isn't. For lions and criminals, they have a clear objective. Lions need food. Criminals need money. But we all not only project, but are capable of reading the body language around us. Bully's tend to pick on people they KNOW will be weak. They type they don't think will fight back. Not just schoolyard bullies. Office bullies also. And there are many levels of bullying. Overt physical violence. And very covert subconscious verbal slights. Sometimes they are so subtle they don't even know themselves. Which makes it much harder to call them out. They have a deep need to put others down. For them, it's the ONLY WAY they can feel good. Most people feel good by making others feel good. Smiling, cracking jokes, etc. But bullies seem to have a different strategy. By putting others down, even subtly, they pretend it raises them up. But this can be difficult, especially if you're not quite sure WHAT they said. They say something, and it sort of seems like a normal statement. Or even a compliment. But underneath, there is some negativity. You know it, they know it, and everybody else knows it. Part of their game is to knock you off balance. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to defend yourself. Plenty of ways to build up a strong inner frame. And some POWERFUL outer language. Simple questions that make them look silly. Powerful reframes that will send them running for cover. Black belt language skills to project power. So NOBODY ever messes with you again. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
  15. Why are babies so cute? From a purely evolutionary standpoint, babies being cute is a survival benefit. Since as babies we are absolutely helpless, we NEED other people to survive. Being "cute" creates a "let me take care of this poor thing" response from the adults around us. Young women are cute because they invoke a similar response from men. A "let me take care of this poor thing." Many women try and get away with being cute as long as they can. We are all programmed with a deep strategy that compels us to ALWAYS maximize our ROI. We always want to get the most RETURN for the least INVESTMENT. Nobody wants to spend more money than they need to. Nobody wants to put in more effort than they need to. What can you do if you're not naturally cute? Become more attractive. Not attractive with how you look or how you dress, but attractive by how you behave. Many personality traits are also evolutionary programmed into us. Humans are extremely social animals. We are always on the lookout for potential partners. Not just romantic or business partners. People that can help us out from time to time, and us then. This is why we LIKE going to social events. Take any group of friends hanging out on a Friday night. They will almost ALWAYS choose somewhere public where there are many people. They will RARELY choose some secret hideout. We LIKE being around other people. Because we LIKE other people. And we all come with deep subconscious filters that we use to sort for potential friends, people we WOULD LIKE to get to know better. Physical appearance is the first, and most shallow filter. Second is general personality. Some personality traits are much more attractive than others. And these same attractive personality traits can be enhanced. Strengthened, just like a muscle. How? Slowly and consistently, just like a muscle. When it comes to physical fitness, you can generally put people into two categories. Those who exercise regularly, and those who don't. Just like you can exercise your body regularly, you can exercise your personality regularly. And since FEW people even think about doing this, if YOU do this, you'll be in a category all your own. And you'll STAND OUT in nearly every crowd. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  16. Sometimes when you meet somebody you just click. This is usually thought to be a very rare, once in a lifetime experience. First dates that were scheduled for an hour but lasted all night. People that you meet, have a conversation with that go on for hours. One of the ways that illustrates how we think about things is how we use nouns. All things are nouns. But some nouns are real things, and some nouns are imaginary things. One way to tell a real thing from an imaginary thing is the wheelbarrow test. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow, it's real thing. (You might need a pretty big wheelbarrow..) If you CAN'T put it in a wheelbarrow, it's NOT a real thing. It is an intangible thing. One specific TYPE of intangible thing is a nominalization. These are nouns made from verbs. Like "communicate" is a verb. Communication is a noun made from the verb. But that noun, "communication," is NOT a real thing. It fails the wheelbarrow test. How we humans think about these things is illustrated by how we use those things in a sentence. The main clue is the prepositions we use with those things. For example, think of the intangible noun, "trouble." How do we think of that? As a container. How do we know it's a container. Because we are "IN" trouble. We are IN containers. Another container, which is the OPPOSITE of trouble is love. That is another thing we are IN. But HOW we get in love is also interesting. We FALL in love. It happens unexpectedly. This goes back to those conversations we have with others where we unexpectedly CLICK. Why, specifically does that happen? We push each others buttons. When you click with somebody you are pushing their pleasure buttons. And when you push their pleasure buttons, it makes them behave in a way that pushes YOUR pleasure buttons. Because our pleasure buttons, and how we behave when our pleasure buttons are pushed, are both functions of our personality, the trick is to FIND SOMEBODY that has enough overlap. There are a couple ways to INCREASE the likelihood of this happening. One is to simply meet more people. The more people you meet, the more chances you'll have. Another is to study human communication. To be more consciously aware of how to notice and how to consciously push peoples buttons. This works very well, but it takes time. Another is to build a more attractive personality. So just by showing up you will AUTOMATICALLY push other people's pleasure buttons. Mostly with your subconscious, non-verbal communication. Which means they will ALL naturally want to push YOUR pleasure buttons. All you'll need to do then is pick the best one. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  17. A fairly common situation is to meet somebody famous. Especially if they are famous for “pretending.” Either an actor, or a performer of some kind. A friend of mine took his son to see a locally famous comedian. It was at some fair or something. The son really liked him, his jokes were goofy and childlike. When he performed, he had a lot of energy. The energy combined with his goofy jokes made him pretty popular with the kids. So the father and the son went looking for him after the show. Somehow, they made their way into a backstage area they weren’t supposed to be in. Where the comedian didn’t expect to meet any fans. When they saw him, he was sitting on a chair, elbows on both knees, cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a tired look on his face. The absolute OPPOSITE of how he was on stage. While shocking, this is kind of what you’d expect. Especially from somebody who has super high energy as part of the act. This is essentially what it means to be an entertainer. To perform in a certain that is NOT normal. Imagine if the guys who did pro wrestling were ALWAYS like that. Body slamming people out of the way in the grocery store. The reason we crave that behavior from entertainers is the same reason we crave fictional stories. Because LIFE is NOT like that. Very few people we meet in life are charismatic. Very few situations we find ourselves in are like on TV or the movies. Most people, and most situations, are pretty boring. When people go see a movie, or a live performance, they EXPECT over the top behaviors and situations. Which is why if you slowly build up a “personality” that is “better” than average, people will respond VERY favorably. The easiest way to do that is to build a very compelling frame. Most people are always looking OUTSIDE of themselves for entertainment, reassurance and validation. The trick is to get all those from INSIDE your own brain. It’s actually pretty easy. Just find as many situations in your past, where you did something YOU were very proud of. Things that entertained you a great deal. And practice holding those things in mind, making them as strong as you can. It’s common to have a strong frame AFTER doing something remarkable, but then it wears off. This trick will help you build and KEEP a strong frame based on the stuff that ALREADY exists in your mind. And when you show up with THAT frame, people will want some. This will make them naturally gravitate toward you, and your ideas. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  18. The hive mind can be incredibly intelligent. For example, the space shuttle blew up in the eighties shortly after launch. Live on TV. Even worse, there was a school teacher on board. The cause was one of three major components. Each component was made by separate private companies that had been hired by NASA. We’ll call those three components X, Y and Z. Immediately after the explosion, each of the stocks absolutely TANKED on the stock market. The three companies that made X, Y and Z. Interestingly, two of them had come back before the end of trading. One never recovered. It took NASA six months of intense testing to find the component that failed and caused the explosion. It was the SAME ONE that never recovered on the stock market. The smartest minds a NASA took six months to figure it out. The HIVE MIND had it figured out in less than a day. How, exactly? Nobody’s really sure. Maybe it’s some kind of “collective consciousness” that is WAY smarter than any individual. It’s kind of the same thing that Adam Smith referred to as the “Invisible Hand,” with respect to market prices. Based ONLY on market prices, the market “knows” what’s in demand, what’s scarce, and what’s not. There are plenty of examples of the hive mind outsmarting any individual. Sometimes it’s pretty simple. Like in contests where people guess the number of jelly beans in a jar. The AVERAGE (which sort of represents the hive mind) is always within one, or sometimes less, jelly beans. The closest INDIVIDUAL is usually off by ten or twenty jelly beans. In these contests, the hive mind (average) ALWAYS beats the smartest human. Humans have been social animals for millions of years. Since BEFORE we were humans. And since we only invented spoken language 100,000 years ago or so, there is TONS of information flying around that is out of our conscious awareness. Things like jelly bean contests and space shuttle explosions, where there is a SINGLE and CLEAR goal, the hive mind will always win, hands down. But this requires that EACH individual in the hive mind be operating SEPARATELY. Like stock market traders and jelly bean guessers. But sometimes there is a group of people are there ARE no clear goals. Everybody is kind of hanging out, with their own ideas. When there is no clear goal, the hive mind will CRAVE somebody to tell them what to do. In an experiment, they stick ten people in a room. They ALWAYS choose one leader. How can you BE that leader? The short answer is to have the strongest frame. Create non-verbal (subconscious) communication that is clear, congruent, strong and desirable. With a strong frame like this, you don’t NEED words. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  19. Napoleon famously said that men will die for ribbons. He learned from experience that his soldiers would fight much, much harder if he publicly rewarded them for bravery later on. After the battle, the few soldiers who bought the bravest would be brought before the entire army and given a ribbon. When he said men will die for ribbons, he wasn’t referring to the actual ribbon. He was referring to the idea of getting public recognition. Humans respond very strongly to the idea of becoming famous. Much more so if that fame is a result of something they’ve done. Especially if that something actually helped the community in some way. This is a very strong, and very ancient instinct. Each day hunters went out, they all wanted the big kill. Whoever dragged the biggest animal back to camp got MAD props from everybody. Each individual hunter was motivated by their own SELFISH desire to kill something big and get some rock star treatment. But that same selfish desire is what fed the tribe. And since they were all feasting on the same animal, it created tribal cohesion. Whenever people look around a crowded room, they look for people with that “rock star” body language and energy. People that have a history of doing great things and getting recognition for those great things have a certain “way” about them. This is how we can recognize charismatic people from across the room. We not only recognize them, but we also recognize everybody else recognizing them. In a tribe of ancient hunters, or a group of soldiers, you’d have to be a SERIOUS BAMF to get that kind of respect. But in a group of normal humans? Not so much. You only need just a little bit more than everybody else. And since most people aren’t rock stars, or hunters, or special agents, that’s pretty easy. Because that “rock star” frame comes from recent rock star memories. The cool thing is you can find your own rock star memories. And purposely make them as BIG in your mind as possible. Practice building them up. The outside energy, your frame, will be what people notice. All you’ve got to do is find a few memories of when you did ANYTHING with any amount of skill, and felt really good about it. It could be a memory from a week ago, or a memory from ten years ago. Find a few memories, build them up, and practice holding them in mind when you go anywhere socially. You’ll project a rock star frame, and you’ll attract rock star attention. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  20. Status is something that is important, but often misunderstood. We tend to think of status as something that has obvious indicators. Wealth, bling, clothing, hanging out with the cool kids. But the status that is REALLY important is the kind that is very subconscious. And always present. It’s quite possible for people to have high artificial status, but very low real status. Especially in our jacked up economy. People that are wealthy, for example, have all the external “signals” of status but none of the subconscious energy. On the other hand, it’s very possible to have REAL status, but not much of the signals. No expensive clothes, or bling, or a big house in the hills. What’s the difference? Way back in the day, before society was invented, before money was invented, status was closely related to leadership. And it was also closely related to productivity. Productivity being the guy who could kill the biggest animal. One way to think of it as ancient societies like football teams. The quarterback was the guy who led the tribe on the hunt. That’s the same guy that got all the girls. And people turned to in times of trouble. This is REAL status. Today, when there are TONS of ways to make money, you can have plenty of FAKE status but NONE of the personality of an ancient leader. But we are JUST AS sensitive to those ancient status signals as we used to be. They put a bunch of people in a room, for example, and give them a task. INVARIABLY, they automatically sort into a hierarchy. And the guy or gal who ends up on top is the one with the strongest “leadership energy.” A mix of confidence, openness and a general feeling of “I’ve got this.” The kind of energy people NATURALLY turn to when nobody knows what to do. Even if you are a billionaire CEO of a tech startup, if you’re stuck in an elevator, you could be just as clueless as everybody else. In that situation, genuine, natural leadership is the one that wins. A short-hand name for that energy is “frame strength.” The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the go-to guy or gal when nobody knows what to do. The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the most attractive person in the room. The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the most persuasive or seductive (if they want) without needing to do much speaking. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who you are) it’s easy to make a ton of money today WITHOUT a strong frame. But when push comes to shove, people will prefer FRAME over fake status every single time. Which means if YOU get busy building a strong frame, you’ll be the one they prefer. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  21. There is a very critical transition humans should make. Not really “should,” by it is an important transition. It is from the childhood mindset, to the adult mindset. Children have a very simple strategy to get what they need. They keep asking until they get it. Adults can only get away with this so much. If you are a very attractive female, you can use this strategy for a long time. But if you are a normal looking human, and don’t have much of a halo-effect going for you, then getting what you need is going to require some effort. Most of the time this involves learning skills, getting a job, and trading your time for money. Then you take that money and buy what you want. What you want is made by other people all playing the same game. Learning skills and making things (or helping make things) and selling those to other people to get money to buy what you need. So long as what you want or need can be bought, you’re OK. But what about the stuff that CAN’T be bought? Like friendship, love, respect, loyalty, companionship, affection? You can’t buy those things. Nor can you get those with the childhood mindset of asking and waiting for somebody to GIVE those to you. (Unless you have as massive halo effect going for you). When it comes to getting tangible stuff, the idea of TRADE is obvious. You first trade your time for money. Then you trade that money for whatever you want. (like a big box of frozen burritos, for example) But that other stuff, the stuff that CAN’T be bought, that falls under the model of trade as well. But the “stuff” we are “trading” is intangible. When you are in a relationship with somebody, for example, it works so long as both parties are RECEIVING something intangible and GIVING something intangible. Normally this happens automatically and subconsciously. But if you’ve ever been in a relationship (friendship or romantic) where YOU are doing all the giving and the other person is just “using you,” it feels pretty crummy. This is when relationships tend to burn out and end. When you want something tangible, it’s a matter or figuring out how to get the cash to buy it. But what about intangible things that you want, but don’t have? You can’t exactly go shopping for a new relationship. Those just “happen,” right? Turns out you CAN make them “happen” a lot more quickly and dependably. Because you CAN increase what you have to offer. Because there’s ONE THING that EVERYBODY wants. One thing that EVERYBODY will respond favorably to. And because this ONE THING will provide tons of subconscious and emotional value to them, they will respond by GIVING YOU whatever they’ve got. What IS this ONE THING? Learn About It Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  22. There’s a funny story that’s been told for a while. I heard it first when from the person giving the speech at my graduation. I’ve heard it a couple times since then. About a guy on a ship. And he sees another ship. The first guy tells the second guy to move, or else they’ll crash. The second guy says he’s not moving. The first guy repeats his request to please move or else we’ll crash. Second guy says nope, can’t do it. First guy says, “Dude, if you don’t move, we’re both going to crash and sink and drown. Please move.” Second guy says, “Dude, I’m a lighthouse. YOU move!” The moral of the story of course, is not being flexible will get you killed. The story is ALWAYS told as if the listeners are SUPPOSED to imagine themselves as the person on the ship. That they will encounter resistance in life that they can’t overcome. And the best course is to change course, rather than keep plowing through. That IS pretty good advice. But not always. A famous saying, (the Serenity Prayer, often used in AA meetings) is: God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. What does this mean in real life? It means that sometimes you are the ship. And sometimes you are the lighthouse. Most people are ALWAYS the ship. They bounce around, from situation to situation. Always looking for direction. They are uncomfortable in any situation when they have to figure out what to do on their own. Then there are lighthouse people. People that are the ones giving advice. The ones that show up and MAKE things happen. The ones that radiate very pure, very strong, lighthouse energy. Energy that says, “I am a beacon. When you are lost, look for me, I’ll show you the way.” Luckily, you can BUILD your lighthouse energy. It all comes across in your non-verbal communication. All metaphors aside, we are biological creatures that are BOUND by scientific laws. Metaphors make for some creative, sometimes beautiful ideas. But they are metaphors nonetheless. The down and dirty scientific way you broadcast your “energy”, whether it’s a solid lighthouse or a lost ship, is through your non-verbal communication. And building up strong lighthouse energy is something you can practice. Anything you can practice, you can strengthen. As strong as you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  23. A very enlightening study was done once on body language. They had a bunch of people walk through social situations. Bars, clubs, etc., where meeting and talking to strangers would be appropriate. They followed these people with researchers. They’d flash the pictures around and ask if anybody had seen them. They’d they ask for a first impression rating, on a scale of 1-10. “See this guy? Yeah? OK, real quick, how would you rate him?” Like that. The people giving the rankings would only have a very BRIEF memory of seeing the person. And they would use that brief memory to come up with their score. They reason they were doing the test was to see what impact posture had on their ratings. Meaning they would walk through places with two different postures. One unconfident, with head down, shoulder slumped forward. Another confident, with back straight, face forward, and shoulders back. Everything else was the same. Their clothing, their bling, their haircut, their cologne, their physical appearance. Simply by changing their posture, the average increase was two full points. This is only by a very obvious change. Add into this the idea that NON-VERBAL communication is more than 90% of communication. And the idea that we can’t NOT communicate. So even if you are in conversation with somebody, and words are going back and forth, the words comprise LESS THAN 10% of the message. And when somebody is checking you out from across the room, your non-verbal body language is 100% of the message. Whether you are being checked out, or if you are a conversation, the sum total of your NON-VERBAL communication can be called your FRAME. Your inner state comes out through your frame. The sum total of your non-verbal communication. Naturally, the stronger your frame, the more attractive you’ll be. People naturally gravitate to people with strong and attractive frames. In fact, people crave a strong-framed person so much, they follow gurus and cult leaders. Even when the CONTENT of their frame is absolutely insane. Imagine what you could do with a strong frame that has some pretty normal content? Luckily, building up the strength of your frame is just as simple as building up muscle strength or endurance. It’s not quick or magical, but with consistent effort, you’ll get consistent results. Building a strong frame is one those things that will make EVERYTHING do you so much more compelling. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  24. For many people, setting goals presents a paradox. One of the things we humans LOVE is a bright, yet undetermined future. As soon as we define the future, it becomes much less compelling. Imagine you’ve got a job. And your are 100% sure that in one year, you will get a raise of 50%. The boss says you’ve got to do some things, but you are 100% certain you will do those things. So you are 100% certain that within one year, you will get a 50% raise. At first it would be pretty cool. But as the days go on, it would seem less cool and more normal. If you’re like most normal people, by the time you got that raise, you would have already spent the money. At least mentally. Unfortunately, this is how they teach us how to set goals. To create a SPECIFIC target. At a specific time. Even when we KNOW (from the above example) we are getting that thing in the future, it naturally diminishes our desire for it. Now take that SAME idea, of a KNOWN thing coming at a KNOWN time, from KNOWN behaviors, and adding uncertainty to it. The idea of putting in some behaviors that you AREN’T sure will create that goal will make it LESS compelling than if it were real. Another is what happens if you SET a goal, but you CAN’T get it? Imagine guy who dreams of making a lot of money. But he never gets around to getting started. Since he hasn’t really started, he can still reasonably believe that if he DID start, he MIGHT actually make some more money. This is a NICE thought to think. But if he actually STARTS doing things, and realizes it’s MUCH HARDER than he realizes, this might KILL that vague thought of money in the future. The idea of having vague goals that you never get started on is actually VERY RATIONAL. Doing something that has a large chance of DECREASING your happiness is NOT rational. Luckily, there is a MUCH EASIER way. A way that doesn’t require that you EVER define your goals. That you keep them vague and FAR OFF in the future. So no matter how much progress you make, they will always be OUT THERE, pulling you forward. This makes it MUCH EASIER to try different things. If you have a specific goal that is supposed to happen at a specific time, and you try something and it doesn’t work, that can cause PANIC. You start to worry that you can’t meet your own deadline. Egads! On the other hand, if you have a vague but compelling goal that is ALWAYS a year from now, (whenever NOW happens to be) anything you do will get you closer. At the very least, you’ll get more information. This is the BEST WAY to create the actual feeling of outcome independence. So each individual interaction will be much easier. And your frame will be much stronger. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/ Till next time, George Hutton
  25. There’s an idea in physics called sympathetic resonance. If you have two pianos next to each other, and you bang on one middle C, the other middle C will vibrate as well. It’s pretty simple and straightforward. The middle C that has been hit will vibrate at a certain frequency. The sound it makes is the air pressure radiating out as it’s compressed and then not compressed as the string vibrates at that frequency. Sound happens when those vibrating air pressure waves hit our ear drums. And frequency that our ear drums vibrate translate into our brains as a sound. So those vibrating sound waves work the same way on the other piano string. Our ear drum can vibrate at many different frequencies. That’s why we can hear many different frequencies. But the middle C on the other piano can ONLY vibrate at a middle C frequency. That’s why it’s called “sympathetic resonance.” Sympathetic because the string is set up to vibrate at the EXACT SAME frequencies that are being sent through the air. It’s also why the sky is blue. The entire spectrum of light (and even the ultra violet light that we can’t see but burns our skin anyway) comes from the sun. But the molecules in the upper atmosphere vibrate at blue light. So they have a sympathetic resonance with the blue light from the sun. Put in the two piano metaphor, it would be like banging on ALL the keys on one piano, and ONLY HAVING a middle C key-string on the other piano. If you could ONLY HEAR the sounds from the SECOND PIANO, you would be tricked into thinking that the first piano is playing ONLY middle C. This is why we see blue when we look up at the sky. This is also how humans communicate on a subconscious level. We have tons of facial expressions and body language movements. Too many to be perceived consciously. And most people are radiating a TON of mixed signals. Kind of like playing a bunch of random keys in random order on a piano. Most people’s “music” is a jumbled up mess. So if you take the time to CONSCIOUSLY radiate a certain emotion, or a certain collection of emotions, it will have a POWERFUL effect. Imagine being in a room full of player pianos. The kind that play by themselves. All of them are playing weak notes. Haphazard notes. Random, weak and haphazard notes. But ONE piano is playing something BEAUTIFUL, like Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. When you take the time to purposely build up strong and positive emotions, and practice radiating those emotions, YOU will be like that ONE piano. Radiating a beautiful, compelling and congruent frame. Which will make everybody want to be around you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
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