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  1. Some things you can learn relatively quickly. These are things with more of a binary level of skill. You can either do them, or you can't. These are things like driving, tying your shoes, making a sandwich, etc. Some skills have no upper limit. For most of us, learning how to cook is a binary thing. Once you learn how, you stop worrying about it. Sure, you might pick up a few new skills, learn a few new recipes, but for most of us, once you learn to cook, we don't normally think of practicing our cooking skills on the weekend. If you were a master chef, on the other hand, you would. Or if cooking was a hobby, you would be always wanting to learn more. Some skills are like this. Kind of in the middle. You COULD learn more if you wanted to. But for most of us, once we learn a basic level, we're good. Most of us aren't professional racecar drivers, so we figure once we learn to drive, we think of DOING rather than improving. Some skills are either hobbies or professional skills. You could take up painting as a hobby, continue to learn the rest of your life, and never really consider yourself a professional artist. But there are other skills that are more like META skills. The better you get at these, the better you will do everywhere else. For example, being able to manage your finances effectively is a meta skill. Part of having a robust set of financial skills is understanding various investments. Even if you NEVER considered managing other people's money, you could spend a couple hours a week learning about investments and never run out stuff to learn. It's pretty clear that doing this would benefit you. Another skill that most don't even THINK of as a skill is speaking. Speaking is one of those things we don't even think about. We just figure out how to do it. Rarely do we take time to think about what we are going to say. Giving a speech, asking for a raise, asking out girl, etc. These are considered RARE events in our lives. Most of the time, we have some random thoughts and try and use poorly chosen words to describe them. But once you start to PRACTICE your speaking skills, you'll also be practicing something else. Your thinking skills. You can't really practice speaking without practicing thinking. And if you make a point to practice THESE two things, you'll gain IMMENSE power in nearly every area of your life. Unless you plan on becoming a professional mime, or any kind behind the scenes job, how you SPEAK will be an indication of how you THINK. Do both of those well, and you can build any life you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
  2. If you were to practice any of the defensive arts, you would need two areas of focus. One would be the actual fighting skills. These are things that would need to be drilled down to the level of unconscious competence. Unless you had some of time freezing device, when a punch is coming, you don't have time to think and calculate the best response. All the blocks and counter punches must be drilled to the level of unconscious competence. Otherwise you'll get punched in the face. The same goes for language patterns. Most people don't like to hear this. It's very common to want to read a bunch of patterns in a book, and then be able to use them in the moment. Unfortunately, it's very rare that they'll say something, you'll say something, and they won't say anything else. This would be like practicing a punch and hoping it's a knockout punch. Most punches are NOT knockout punches. And most statements you can memorize and say are NOT knockout statements either. So practicing them is essential. And so is practicing your response to the things they MIGHT say. But there is another thing you can practice. Something that is much easier to practice, but JUST AS DEADLY as a metaphorical knockout punch. Imagine one of those comedy movies. Where somebody walks up to a really big guy and punches him as hard as he can in the face. And the big guy is absolutely unfazed. He looks at the puncher, as if he is waiting for him to do something. This is usually when the puncher realizes the trouble he's in. There was an episode of the Simpsons where Homer did this. They found out they could put him in a ring, and let an otherwise professional boxer keep hitting him. Because Homer is Homer, he just stands there getting punched until the other guy gets tired and gives up. This is something you can develop. Not actually getting punched. But becoming completely NON-FAZED by any insults. They hit you with the worst insults and look at them. Trying to figure out what they meant. Your face and body language show ZERO impact from the "insult." This will make the insulter feel like and idiot. The more he tries to insult you, the more you stand there waiting for him to make sense. Developing this skill will give you a very powerful reputation. It will take some practice, but it's pretty easy. You can practice at home all by yourself. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
  3. admin

    Ninja Linguistics

    Professional pickpockets choose their victims carefully. Do anything for a while and you'll learn the finer points. For pickpockets and muggers, they need a certain type of victim. Ones that won't fight back. Ones that will be too scared to remember what they look like. They can tell within a few moments whose a likely candidate and who isn't. They are, in a sense, body language experts. They can tell who's confident, so they avoid them. They can tell who isn't, so they stalk them. Not unlike lions carefully watching a pack of gazelles. They know who is the easiest to catch, and who isn't. They know who is the safest to catch, and who isn't. For lions and criminals, they have a clear objective. Lions need food. Criminals need money. But we all not only project, but are capable of reading the body language around us. Bully's tend to pick on people they KNOW will be weak. They type they don't think will fight back. Not just schoolyard bullies. Office bullies also. And there are many levels of bullying. Overt physical violence. And very covert subconscious verbal slights. Sometimes they are so subtle they don't even know themselves. Which makes it much harder to call them out. They have a deep need to put others down. For them, it's the ONLY WAY they can feel good. Most people feel good by making others feel good. Smiling, cracking jokes, etc. But bullies seem to have a different strategy. By putting others down, even subtly, they pretend it raises them up. But this can be difficult, especially if you're not quite sure WHAT they said. They say something, and it sort of seems like a normal statement. Or even a compliment. But underneath, there is some negativity. You know it, they know it, and everybody else knows it. Part of their game is to knock you off balance. Luckily, there are plenty of ways to defend yourself. Plenty of ways to build up a strong inner frame. And some POWERFUL outer language. Simple questions that make them look silly. Powerful reframes that will send them running for cover. Black belt language skills to project power. So NOBODY ever messes with you again. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/verbal-assassin/
  4. admin

    Flex Your Personality

    Why are babies so cute? From a purely evolutionary standpoint, babies being cute is a survival benefit. Since as babies we are absolutely helpless, we NEED other people to survive. Being "cute" creates a "let me take care of this poor thing" response from the adults around us. Young women are cute because they invoke a similar response from men. A "let me take care of this poor thing." Many women try and get away with being cute as long as they can. We are all programmed with a deep strategy that compels us to ALWAYS maximize our ROI. We always want to get the most RETURN for the least INVESTMENT. Nobody wants to spend more money than they need to. Nobody wants to put in more effort than they need to. What can you do if you're not naturally cute? Become more attractive. Not attractive with how you look or how you dress, but attractive by how you behave. Many personality traits are also evolutionary programmed into us. Humans are extremely social animals. We are always on the lookout for potential partners. Not just romantic or business partners. People that can help us out from time to time, and us then. This is why we LIKE going to social events. Take any group of friends hanging out on a Friday night. They will almost ALWAYS choose somewhere public where there are many people. They will RARELY choose some secret hideout. We LIKE being around other people. Because we LIKE other people. And we all come with deep subconscious filters that we use to sort for potential friends, people we WOULD LIKE to get to know better. Physical appearance is the first, and most shallow filter. Second is general personality. Some personality traits are much more attractive than others. And these same attractive personality traits can be enhanced. Strengthened, just like a muscle. How? Slowly and consistently, just like a muscle. When it comes to physical fitness, you can generally put people into two categories. Those who exercise regularly, and those who don't. Just like you can exercise your body regularly, you can exercise your personality regularly. And since FEW people even think about doing this, if YOU do this, you'll be in a category all your own. And you'll STAND OUT in nearly every crowd. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  5. Sometimes when you meet somebody you just click. This is usually thought to be a very rare, once in a lifetime experience. First dates that were scheduled for an hour but lasted all night. People that you meet, have a conversation with that go on for hours. One of the ways that illustrates how we think about things is how we use nouns. All things are nouns. But some nouns are real things, and some nouns are imaginary things. One way to tell a real thing from an imaginary thing is the wheelbarrow test. If you can put it in a wheelbarrow, it's real thing. (You might need a pretty big wheelbarrow..) If you CAN'T put it in a wheelbarrow, it's NOT a real thing. It is an intangible thing. One specific TYPE of intangible thing is a nominalization. These are nouns made from verbs. Like "communicate" is a verb. Communication is a noun made from the verb. But that noun, "communication," is NOT a real thing. It fails the wheelbarrow test. How we humans think about these things is illustrated by how we use those things in a sentence. The main clue is the prepositions we use with those things. For example, think of the intangible noun, "trouble." How do we think of that? As a container. How do we know it's a container. Because we are "IN" trouble. We are IN containers. Another container, which is the OPPOSITE of trouble is love. That is another thing we are IN. But HOW we get in love is also interesting. We FALL in love. It happens unexpectedly. This goes back to those conversations we have with others where we unexpectedly CLICK. Why, specifically does that happen? We push each others buttons. When you click with somebody you are pushing their pleasure buttons. And when you push their pleasure buttons, it makes them behave in a way that pushes YOUR pleasure buttons. Because our pleasure buttons, and how we behave when our pleasure buttons are pushed, are both functions of our personality, the trick is to FIND SOMEBODY that has enough overlap. There are a couple ways to INCREASE the likelihood of this happening. One is to simply meet more people. The more people you meet, the more chances you'll have. Another is to study human communication. To be more consciously aware of how to notice and how to consciously push peoples buttons. This works very well, but it takes time. Another is to build a more attractive personality. So just by showing up you will AUTOMATICALLY push other people's pleasure buttons. Mostly with your subconscious, non-verbal communication. Which means they will ALL naturally want to push YOUR pleasure buttons. All you'll need to do then is pick the best one. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/attractive-personality/
  6. A fairly common situation is to meet somebody famous. Especially if they are famous for “pretending.” Either an actor, or a performer of some kind. A friend of mine took his son to see a locally famous comedian. It was at some fair or something. The son really liked him, his jokes were goofy and childlike. When he performed, he had a lot of energy. The energy combined with his goofy jokes made him pretty popular with the kids. So the father and the son went looking for him after the show. Somehow, they made their way into a backstage area they weren’t supposed to be in. Where the comedian didn’t expect to meet any fans. When they saw him, he was sitting on a chair, elbows on both knees, cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a tired look on his face. The absolute OPPOSITE of how he was on stage. While shocking, this is kind of what you’d expect. Especially from somebody who has super high energy as part of the act. This is essentially what it means to be an entertainer. To perform in a certain that is NOT normal. Imagine if the guys who did pro wrestling were ALWAYS like that. Body slamming people out of the way in the grocery store. The reason we crave that behavior from entertainers is the same reason we crave fictional stories. Because LIFE is NOT like that. Very few people we meet in life are charismatic. Very few situations we find ourselves in are like on TV or the movies. Most people, and most situations, are pretty boring. When people go see a movie, or a live performance, they EXPECT over the top behaviors and situations. Which is why if you slowly build up a “personality” that is “better” than average, people will respond VERY favorably. The easiest way to do that is to build a very compelling frame. Most people are always looking OUTSIDE of themselves for entertainment, reassurance and validation. The trick is to get all those from INSIDE your own brain. It’s actually pretty easy. Just find as many situations in your past, where you did something YOU were very proud of. Things that entertained you a great deal. And practice holding those things in mind, making them as strong as you can. It’s common to have a strong frame AFTER doing something remarkable, but then it wears off. This trick will help you build and KEEP a strong frame based on the stuff that ALREADY exists in your mind. And when you show up with THAT frame, people will want some. This will make them naturally gravitate toward you, and your ideas. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  7. The hive mind can be incredibly intelligent. For example, the space shuttle blew up in the eighties shortly after launch. Live on TV. Even worse, there was a school teacher on board. The cause was one of three major components. Each component was made by separate private companies that had been hired by NASA. We’ll call those three components X, Y and Z. Immediately after the explosion, each of the stocks absolutely TANKED on the stock market. The three companies that made X, Y and Z. Interestingly, two of them had come back before the end of trading. One never recovered. It took NASA six months of intense testing to find the component that failed and caused the explosion. It was the SAME ONE that never recovered on the stock market. The smartest minds a NASA took six months to figure it out. The HIVE MIND had it figured out in less than a day. How, exactly? Nobody’s really sure. Maybe it’s some kind of “collective consciousness” that is WAY smarter than any individual. It’s kind of the same thing that Adam Smith referred to as the “Invisible Hand,” with respect to market prices. Based ONLY on market prices, the market “knows” what’s in demand, what’s scarce, and what’s not. There are plenty of examples of the hive mind outsmarting any individual. Sometimes it’s pretty simple. Like in contests where people guess the number of jelly beans in a jar. The AVERAGE (which sort of represents the hive mind) is always within one, or sometimes less, jelly beans. The closest INDIVIDUAL is usually off by ten or twenty jelly beans. In these contests, the hive mind (average) ALWAYS beats the smartest human. Humans have been social animals for millions of years. Since BEFORE we were humans. And since we only invented spoken language 100,000 years ago or so, there is TONS of information flying around that is out of our conscious awareness. Things like jelly bean contests and space shuttle explosions, where there is a SINGLE and CLEAR goal, the hive mind will always win, hands down. But this requires that EACH individual in the hive mind be operating SEPARATELY. Like stock market traders and jelly bean guessers. But sometimes there is a group of people are there ARE no clear goals. Everybody is kind of hanging out, with their own ideas. When there is no clear goal, the hive mind will CRAVE somebody to tell them what to do. In an experiment, they stick ten people in a room. They ALWAYS choose one leader. How can you BE that leader? The short answer is to have the strongest frame. Create non-verbal (subconscious) communication that is clear, congruent, strong and desirable. With a strong frame like this, you don’t NEED words. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  8. Napoleon famously said that men will die for ribbons. He learned from experience that his soldiers would fight much, much harder if he publicly rewarded them for bravery later on. After the battle, the few soldiers who bought the bravest would be brought before the entire army and given a ribbon. When he said men will die for ribbons, he wasn’t referring to the actual ribbon. He was referring to the idea of getting public recognition. Humans respond very strongly to the idea of becoming famous. Much more so if that fame is a result of something they’ve done. Especially if that something actually helped the community in some way. This is a very strong, and very ancient instinct. Each day hunters went out, they all wanted the big kill. Whoever dragged the biggest animal back to camp got MAD props from everybody. Each individual hunter was motivated by their own SELFISH desire to kill something big and get some rock star treatment. But that same selfish desire is what fed the tribe. And since they were all feasting on the same animal, it created tribal cohesion. Whenever people look around a crowded room, they look for people with that “rock star” body language and energy. People that have a history of doing great things and getting recognition for those great things have a certain “way” about them. This is how we can recognize charismatic people from across the room. We not only recognize them, but we also recognize everybody else recognizing them. In a tribe of ancient hunters, or a group of soldiers, you’d have to be a SERIOUS BAMF to get that kind of respect. But in a group of normal humans? Not so much. You only need just a little bit more than everybody else. And since most people aren’t rock stars, or hunters, or special agents, that’s pretty easy. Because that “rock star” frame comes from recent rock star memories. The cool thing is you can find your own rock star memories. And purposely make them as BIG in your mind as possible. Practice building them up. The outside energy, your frame, will be what people notice. All you’ve got to do is find a few memories of when you did ANYTHING with any amount of skill, and felt really good about it. It could be a memory from a week ago, or a memory from ten years ago. Find a few memories, build them up, and practice holding them in mind when you go anywhere socially. You’ll project a rock star frame, and you’ll attract rock star attention. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  9. Status is something that is important, but often misunderstood. We tend to think of status as something that has obvious indicators. Wealth, bling, clothing, hanging out with the cool kids. But the status that is REALLY important is the kind that is very subconscious. And always present. It’s quite possible for people to have high artificial status, but very low real status. Especially in our jacked up economy. People that are wealthy, for example, have all the external “signals” of status but none of the subconscious energy. On the other hand, it’s very possible to have REAL status, but not much of the signals. No expensive clothes, or bling, or a big house in the hills. What’s the difference? Way back in the day, before society was invented, before money was invented, status was closely related to leadership. And it was also closely related to productivity. Productivity being the guy who could kill the biggest animal. One way to think of it as ancient societies like football teams. The quarterback was the guy who led the tribe on the hunt. That’s the same guy that got all the girls. And people turned to in times of trouble. This is REAL status. Today, when there are TONS of ways to make money, you can have plenty of FAKE status but NONE of the personality of an ancient leader. But we are JUST AS sensitive to those ancient status signals as we used to be. They put a bunch of people in a room, for example, and give them a task. INVARIABLY, they automatically sort into a hierarchy. And the guy or gal who ends up on top is the one with the strongest “leadership energy.” A mix of confidence, openness and a general feeling of “I’ve got this.” The kind of energy people NATURALLY turn to when nobody knows what to do. Even if you are a billionaire CEO of a tech startup, if you’re stuck in an elevator, you could be just as clueless as everybody else. In that situation, genuine, natural leadership is the one that wins. A short-hand name for that energy is “frame strength.” The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the go-to guy or gal when nobody knows what to do. The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the most attractive person in the room. The person with the strongest FRAME is going to be the most persuasive or seductive (if they want) without needing to do much speaking. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on who you are) it’s easy to make a ton of money today WITHOUT a strong frame. But when push comes to shove, people will prefer FRAME over fake status every single time. Which means if YOU get busy building a strong frame, you’ll be the one they prefer. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  10. There is a very critical transition humans should make. Not really “should,” by it is an important transition. It is from the childhood mindset, to the adult mindset. Children have a very simple strategy to get what they need. They keep asking until they get it. Adults can only get away with this so much. If you are a very attractive female, you can use this strategy for a long time. But if you are a normal looking human, and don’t have much of a halo-effect going for you, then getting what you need is going to require some effort. Most of the time this involves learning skills, getting a job, and trading your time for money. Then you take that money and buy what you want. What you want is made by other people all playing the same game. Learning skills and making things (or helping make things) and selling those to other people to get money to buy what you need. So long as what you want or need can be bought, you’re OK. But what about the stuff that CAN’T be bought? Like friendship, love, respect, loyalty, companionship, affection? You can’t buy those things. Nor can you get those with the childhood mindset of asking and waiting for somebody to GIVE those to you. (Unless you have as massive halo effect going for you). When it comes to getting tangible stuff, the idea of TRADE is obvious. You first trade your time for money. Then you trade that money for whatever you want. (like a big box of frozen burritos, for example) But that other stuff, the stuff that CAN’T be bought, that falls under the model of trade as well. But the “stuff” we are “trading” is intangible. When you are in a relationship with somebody, for example, it works so long as both parties are RECEIVING something intangible and GIVING something intangible. Normally this happens automatically and subconsciously. But if you’ve ever been in a relationship (friendship or romantic) where YOU are doing all the giving and the other person is just “using you,” it feels pretty crummy. This is when relationships tend to burn out and end. When you want something tangible, it’s a matter or figuring out how to get the cash to buy it. But what about intangible things that you want, but don’t have? You can’t exactly go shopping for a new relationship. Those just “happen,” right? Turns out you CAN make them “happen” a lot more quickly and dependably. Because you CAN increase what you have to offer. Because there’s ONE THING that EVERYBODY wants. One thing that EVERYBODY will respond favorably to. And because this ONE THING will provide tons of subconscious and emotional value to them, they will respond by GIVING YOU whatever they’ve got. What IS this ONE THING? Learn About It Here: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  11. There’s a funny story that’s been told for a while. I heard it first when from the person giving the speech at my graduation. I’ve heard it a couple times since then. About a guy on a ship. And he sees another ship. The first guy tells the second guy to move, or else they’ll crash. The second guy says he’s not moving. The first guy repeats his request to please move or else we’ll crash. Second guy says nope, can’t do it. First guy says, “Dude, if you don’t move, we’re both going to crash and sink and drown. Please move.” Second guy says, “Dude, I’m a lighthouse. YOU move!” The moral of the story of course, is not being flexible will get you killed. The story is ALWAYS told as if the listeners are SUPPOSED to imagine themselves as the person on the ship. That they will encounter resistance in life that they can’t overcome. And the best course is to change course, rather than keep plowing through. That IS pretty good advice. But not always. A famous saying, (the Serenity Prayer, often used in AA meetings) is: God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. What does this mean in real life? It means that sometimes you are the ship. And sometimes you are the lighthouse. Most people are ALWAYS the ship. They bounce around, from situation to situation. Always looking for direction. They are uncomfortable in any situation when they have to figure out what to do on their own. Then there are lighthouse people. People that are the ones giving advice. The ones that show up and MAKE things happen. The ones that radiate very pure, very strong, lighthouse energy. Energy that says, “I am a beacon. When you are lost, look for me, I’ll show you the way.” Luckily, you can BUILD your lighthouse energy. It all comes across in your non-verbal communication. All metaphors aside, we are biological creatures that are BOUND by scientific laws. Metaphors make for some creative, sometimes beautiful ideas. But they are metaphors nonetheless. The down and dirty scientific way you broadcast your “energy”, whether it’s a solid lighthouse or a lost ship, is through your non-verbal communication. And building up strong lighthouse energy is something you can practice. Anything you can practice, you can strengthen. As strong as you want. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  12. A very enlightening study was done once on body language. They had a bunch of people walk through social situations. Bars, clubs, etc., where meeting and talking to strangers would be appropriate. They followed these people with researchers. They’d flash the pictures around and ask if anybody had seen them. They’d they ask for a first impression rating, on a scale of 1-10. “See this guy? Yeah? OK, real quick, how would you rate him?” Like that. The people giving the rankings would only have a very BRIEF memory of seeing the person. And they would use that brief memory to come up with their score. They reason they were doing the test was to see what impact posture had on their ratings. Meaning they would walk through places with two different postures. One unconfident, with head down, shoulder slumped forward. Another confident, with back straight, face forward, and shoulders back. Everything else was the same. Their clothing, their bling, their haircut, their cologne, their physical appearance. Simply by changing their posture, the average increase was two full points. This is only by a very obvious change. Add into this the idea that NON-VERBAL communication is more than 90% of communication. And the idea that we can’t NOT communicate. So even if you are in conversation with somebody, and words are going back and forth, the words comprise LESS THAN 10% of the message. And when somebody is checking you out from across the room, your non-verbal body language is 100% of the message. Whether you are being checked out, or if you are a conversation, the sum total of your NON-VERBAL communication can be called your FRAME. Your inner state comes out through your frame. The sum total of your non-verbal communication. Naturally, the stronger your frame, the more attractive you’ll be. People naturally gravitate to people with strong and attractive frames. In fact, people crave a strong-framed person so much, they follow gurus and cult leaders. Even when the CONTENT of their frame is absolutely insane. Imagine what you could do with a strong frame that has some pretty normal content? Luckily, building up the strength of your frame is just as simple as building up muscle strength or endurance. It’s not quick or magical, but with consistent effort, you’ll get consistent results. Building a strong frame is one those things that will make EVERYTHING do you so much more compelling. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  13. For many people, setting goals presents a paradox. One of the things we humans LOVE is a bright, yet undetermined future. As soon as we define the future, it becomes much less compelling. Imagine you’ve got a job. And your are 100% sure that in one year, you will get a raise of 50%. The boss says you’ve got to do some things, but you are 100% certain you will do those things. So you are 100% certain that within one year, you will get a 50% raise. At first it would be pretty cool. But as the days go on, it would seem less cool and more normal. If you’re like most normal people, by the time you got that raise, you would have already spent the money. At least mentally. Unfortunately, this is how they teach us how to set goals. To create a SPECIFIC target. At a specific time. Even when we KNOW (from the above example) we are getting that thing in the future, it naturally diminishes our desire for it. Now take that SAME idea, of a KNOWN thing coming at a KNOWN time, from KNOWN behaviors, and adding uncertainty to it. The idea of putting in some behaviors that you AREN’T sure will create that goal will make it LESS compelling than if it were real. Another is what happens if you SET a goal, but you CAN’T get it? Imagine guy who dreams of making a lot of money. But he never gets around to getting started. Since he hasn’t really started, he can still reasonably believe that if he DID start, he MIGHT actually make some more money. This is a NICE thought to think. But if he actually STARTS doing things, and realizes it’s MUCH HARDER than he realizes, this might KILL that vague thought of money in the future. The idea of having vague goals that you never get started on is actually VERY RATIONAL. Doing something that has a large chance of DECREASING your happiness is NOT rational. Luckily, there is a MUCH EASIER way. A way that doesn’t require that you EVER define your goals. That you keep them vague and FAR OFF in the future. So no matter how much progress you make, they will always be OUT THERE, pulling you forward. This makes it MUCH EASIER to try different things. If you have a specific goal that is supposed to happen at a specific time, and you try something and it doesn’t work, that can cause PANIC. You start to worry that you can’t meet your own deadline. Egads! On the other hand, if you have a vague but compelling goal that is ALWAYS a year from now, (whenever NOW happens to be) anything you do will get you closer. At the very least, you’ll get more information. This is the BEST WAY to create the actual feeling of outcome independence. So each individual interaction will be much easier. And your frame will be much stronger. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/ Till next time, George Hutton
  14. There’s an idea in physics called sympathetic resonance. If you have two pianos next to each other, and you bang on one middle C, the other middle C will vibrate as well. It’s pretty simple and straightforward. The middle C that has been hit will vibrate at a certain frequency. The sound it makes is the air pressure radiating out as it’s compressed and then not compressed as the string vibrates at that frequency. Sound happens when those vibrating air pressure waves hit our ear drums. And frequency that our ear drums vibrate translate into our brains as a sound. So those vibrating sound waves work the same way on the other piano string. Our ear drum can vibrate at many different frequencies. That’s why we can hear many different frequencies. But the middle C on the other piano can ONLY vibrate at a middle C frequency. That’s why it’s called “sympathetic resonance.” Sympathetic because the string is set up to vibrate at the EXACT SAME frequencies that are being sent through the air. It’s also why the sky is blue. The entire spectrum of light (and even the ultra violet light that we can’t see but burns our skin anyway) comes from the sun. But the molecules in the upper atmosphere vibrate at blue light. So they have a sympathetic resonance with the blue light from the sun. Put in the two piano metaphor, it would be like banging on ALL the keys on one piano, and ONLY HAVING a middle C key-string on the other piano. If you could ONLY HEAR the sounds from the SECOND PIANO, you would be tricked into thinking that the first piano is playing ONLY middle C. This is why we see blue when we look up at the sky. This is also how humans communicate on a subconscious level. We have tons of facial expressions and body language movements. Too many to be perceived consciously. And most people are radiating a TON of mixed signals. Kind of like playing a bunch of random keys in random order on a piano. Most people’s “music” is a jumbled up mess. So if you take the time to CONSCIOUSLY radiate a certain emotion, or a certain collection of emotions, it will have a POWERFUL effect. Imagine being in a room full of player pianos. The kind that play by themselves. All of them are playing weak notes. Haphazard notes. Random, weak and haphazard notes. But ONE piano is playing something BEAUTIFUL, like Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata. When you take the time to purposely build up strong and positive emotions, and practice radiating those emotions, YOU will be like that ONE piano. Radiating a beautiful, compelling and congruent frame. Which will make everybody want to be around you. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  15. Some people, nearly always women, are described as being able to “light up a room.” Of course, this is a metaphor. They don’t walk around with a flashlight or anything. The term “light,” is metaphorical for happy or positive emotions. So somebody who “lights up” a room doesn’t show up and light everybody on fire. They show up and turn up the mood. Everybody around the person becomes happier and more outgoing. Way back when I was a younger, there was a rivalry between Larry Bird and Magic Johnson. Both in college and in the pros. Most announcers said that Larry Bird helped others in a certain way. Meaning he would pass the ball, or otherwise do things that assisted the other players, helping them play better. But these were all obvious things. You could see it happening. Magic, on the other hand, was on a different level. Most announcers realized that just his PRESENCE made others play better. Larry Bird made others play better by his DIRECT support. Passes, screens, etc. Magic, on the other hand, elevated his teammates by his presence. In the same way that somebody can just “light up a room.” How, exactly, does this happen? Most people will explain it metaphorically. We tend to use metaphors when we DON’T UNDERSTAND the underlying science. If we were to be scientifically precise, we would have to be much more verbose when explaining the “light up the room” phenomenon. The person radiates body language, facial expressions, voice tone, etc., that have an “uplifting effect” on others. Since we humans are social creatures, we often take cues how we SHOULD feel by the non-verbal communication from others. For example, if we see somebody suddenly get a terrified look on their face as they stare over our shoulder, we will feel terrified as well. BEFORE we turn around and see whatever it is behind us. (Like a clown with a chainsaw, for example) The opposite works just as well. Somebody who is happy usually has a GOOD REASON. And just like we can get terrified BEFORE we see the reason, we can become happy BEFORE we see the reason. And in a roomful of people, this will have a chain reaction. But there is one missing ingredient. The lady who lights up the room has POSITIVE energy. But it’s also VERY STRONG. It’s VERY CONGRUENT. And this means her FRAME is the strongest in the room. And when you walk into a room with power, positive and congruent energy, your FRAME will DOMINATE the room. Everybody FEELS your frame and subconsciously decides, “Wow, I like THAT frame better than mine!” EXACTLY how Magic uplifted everybody around him. His FRAME dominated. His frame was more or less, “I’m going to play, I’m going to score, and I’m going to enjoy it.” THAT is the frame that made his teammates better. How do you DO THIS? Like This: http://mindpersuasion.com/pre-framing/
  16. admin

    Walk Away

  17. admin

    Ancient Frame Battle

  18. admin

    Do You Have Pizza Brain?

    The concept of Yin and Yang is prevalent in society. It's generally meant to be a balance of male and female energy. For example, you had a bit of stress, couldn't sleep, etc, you might go to a holistic health practitioner, instead of a western style doctor. Maybe you would see an acupuncturist. He might say that your Yin and Yang is out of balance. Too much male energy, not enough female energy. Makes sense, right? Once you were "back in balance," once the male and female energies were in harmony, the anxiety would go away. So far so good? Only this is a very common, yet very incorrect interpretation of the "Yin and Yang" concept. Yin and Yang are NEVER in "balance." They are not supposed to be. Yin is ALWAYS turning into Yang. And Yang is ALWAYS turning into Yin. One is always flowing into the other. It is a constant, never ending, process. It's meant to be a metaphor for pretty much every living and even non-living thing in the human experience. Day turns into night. Night turns into day. Hunger turns into being full. Being full turns into hunger. Winter turns into spring, etc. Exhales turn into inhales. Deep unconscious cravings for O2 soon turns into deep unconscious cravings to GET RID of CO2. Even each of your individual hemoglobin molecules, inside your red blood cells are in a never ending cycle. They pick up O2 from your lungs and race to deliver it to your muscles. As soon as they pick it up (the O2) they can't wait to get rid of it. Then they exchange the O2 (energy) with the CO2 (waste) at your muscle cells and turn around and race back to your lungs. Like a gigantic factory. Receiving, packaging, shipping, maintenance, etc. Never in balance. Always trying to catch up. Even after you're dead the cycle never ends. Everywhere you look, you'll find cycles. Birth and growth. Growth and maturity. Maturity and death. Your thoughts are the same. Every time you observe something it creates a new thought in mind. That thought grows, matures and transforms into another thought. Sometimes those thoughts turn into actions. Other times they float down to the bottom of your brain and gather dust. Your brain is a precious gift. A gift that can make the difference of a valuable life that creates greatness, or a life that sits around and tries to kill time. The thing about your brain is it's kind of like a slice of pizza. If you sit there staring at the TV with a slice of pizza in front of you, somebody else will take it. If you shuffle along staring at life with your brain just sitting there, somebody else will use it. Your choice. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/hallucinating-mind/
  19. A while back I used to do lot of rock climbing with a co-worker. Different climbs have different lengths. The measure of a climb is how many "pitches" it is. One pitch is essentially the length of a rope. The first guy that goes up "leads." He carefully puts in the pieces of protection, or "pro." Then he loops the rope through these pieces of pro. The guy on the ground slowly feeds the rope up as he climbs. So if the lead falls, he'll fall twice as far as the last piece of pro. Since he's got to fall past it until the rope catches him. Anyhow, my friend would always "lead" and I would always "follow," as well as "clean." Cleaning means taking out all the pro, and clipping it onto your harness. One day, as we were getting ready to leave, he said, "Hey, I want to show you this one climb. It's pretty easy, only one pitch." It was also a face climb, which meant it didn't have any huge holds or ledges. You had to go pretty quickly, and make sure you were balanced carefully. Most rock climbing walls you'll find in gyms and other places have HUGE hand holds and foot holds. (Called "bomber jugs") Face climbs don't. You have to accurately "read" the face. And you have to move quickly. No resting. Anyway, my friend knew I was TERRIFIED of face climbs. They were very much a mental, inner game. One stray thought of anxiety and you'd start sliding down. So he told me it was a 5.5. They measure climbs just like they measure earthquakes. On a logarithmic scale. A 5.5 was pretty easy for me. So he goes first, I follow. And it did seem pretty easy. My friend was grinning the whole time. I get to the top, and he siad, "Wow, you walked right up that." Meaning I didn't pause and look around. Very much the "flow state" of just acting without thinking. "Yeah," I said, "it's only a 5.5." "Actually," my friend said, "I lied. It's really a 5.9." Now, a 5.9 was something I'd NEVER done. Let alone a 5.9 face climb. Had he told me it was a 5.9 face climb, I NEVER would have tried. But because I THOUGHT it was easy, it was easy. Just like everything else. So long as you don't let those stray thoughts of fear and worry creep into your mind, everything's easy. So, what do you do? Find a friend that will always trick you? When it works, it works. Or you could systematically find all the fears in your brain, and kill them before they sprout. Pull them out at their root. Because without any fears holding you back, EVERYTHING becomes easy. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  20. A lot of the way reality works is really backwards. One reason is we humans have a tough time with any "cause-effect" ideas. We tend to assume connections where none exist. This has been demonstrated in children as young as six months. They believe it allowed for quick thinking back in the days of hunters and gathers. Many of our problems today stem from having hunter-gatherer instincts in a modern world. Another problem arises when we understand the relationships between our beliefs and the things we see. Most people believe they more or less see the world the way it is. And if something NEW pops up, they'll blend this NEW thing into their existing belief system. The underlying idea is that our reality around us CREATES our belief systems. When in many cases it's the other way around. Imagine a guy who is really shy and nervous. He has a belief that women think he is disgusting. This makes him feel like crap. And every time he talks to a woman, he sends out "creep vibes." This creep vibes are from his belief about himself. And these creep vibes CREATE the rejection he fears. However, he thinks this is PROOF that his beliefs are correct. When in reality, it's his beliefs that CREATE his reality. The problem with this is how the heck do you change your beliefs when you have no experiences with anything else? If we humans could just rewrite our beliefs at will, life would be MUCH easier. So most of us don't bother. We just assume things about the world. Many people don't even acknowledge that the world behaves like we TELL it to. Nobody can tell much about you. So they have to use YOUR interpretation of you as a guide. If you think you suck, they'll think you suck. Of course, nobody walks up and says, "Hi! I suck!" We project that with our frame. If you have a weak frame, it's interpreted by others before you even open your mouth. If you have a strong frame, it's interpreted by others before you even open your mouth. A good way to describe your frame is the sum total of your beliefs regarding your value. If you believe you don't provide much value, nobody else will. If you believe you provide TONS of value, everybody else will. But this belief has to be true in ALL LEVELS. It's common to have strong beliefs about yourself at the conscious level, but very weak beliefs at the subconscious level. These subconscious beliefs are the ones that make up your frame. Luckily, there's a pretty easy way to change them. To systematically build up a MASSIVE frame, just like you could build muscles. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  21. There's a lot of cool exercises you do in NLP seminars. One is a lie detector test. First you get a partner, then you calibrate each other. Each person tells three truths, and three lies. Everybody has a collection of "tells" that they give off when they are lying. Telling the truth is easy. So when people tell the truth, we are very congruent. When we tell a lie, we are incongruent. Conflicted. We all have a collection of instincts that allow us to sniff out social cheaters. So when we are purposely lying, we are aware that the person we are lying to has those instincts. That causes fear and uncertainty. All that "energy" that we use to "look" normal is what causes the tells. And during this exercise, when you and other person KNOW you are lying, the other person can calibrate your tells. Then once you're each calibrated, you play the game. You ask each other questions. And sometimes you lie to each other, sometimes you tell the truth. But once you've calibrated, it's spooky accurate how well you can tell your partner is lying. This is EXACTLY why professional poker players are VERY CAREFUL about giving on any signals. They usually wear hats and glasses. The thing is, though, that we are ALWAYS communication. Even if you're just sitting there, watching people, you are giving off TONS of information. Everybody is doing this all the time. And everybody has tons of stuff we're worried about all the time. And everybody has a lot of conflicted ideas about being in social situations. Except when we see somebody that is TOTALLY congruent. Some that has very LITTLE inner conflict, both consciously and subconsciously. They stand out like a beacon. They are VERY ATTRACTIVE to a whole bunch of different people. Men, women, old people, little kids. These the natural leaders. The natural "go to" people when there are sudden problems. The folks with MASSIVELY strong frames. How do you get one of these massively strong frames? Easy. All you have to do is identify and eliminate all your inner conflicts. You can do this all by yourself. Doing these is like doing pushups. If you try a couple pushups once, it won't do squat. But if you do pushups every day for a few months, you'll be VERY STRONG. The same goes with these frame building exercises. Do them everyday, and pretty soon you'll have a strong and VERY attractive frame. Get Started: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  22. admin

    No More Tigers

    Human fears are part of a very useful system. Unfortunately, like most of our instincts, they aren't so helpful anymore. Hunger is the easiest to understand. Way back in the day, always being hungry was a survival benefit. Not just being hungry. But eating as much as you could. We all have the experience of not thinking we're hungry, but then we take a couple of bites of something and then we can't stop. This is easy to understand from an instinctive standpoint. Whenever food was available, it made sense to eat as much as possible, so we could store the extra energy. This happened without us having to think about it. So when you don't really feel hungry, and you take a bite, your "energy storage system" sends a signal that makes us store as much energy as possible. Of course, this system was calibrated when food was very hard to get. Now it's everywhere. And most people are overweight as a result of ancient instincts being surrounded by an abundance of food. Another useful instinct is fear. A modern "truism" is "most of my fears never happen." Most people tend to think of this as silly humans being afraid of things that don't exist. But in reality, being OVER-AFRAID was also a very useful survival trait. Way back in the days of hunter gathers, being afraid and running away, even if there was only a ten percent chance of the fear being real, was very useful. Because all it takes is to be wrong once, get eaten, and you won't live long enough to pass on your genes. Consequently, the people who passed on their genes were the ones who ran away from POTENTIAL danger the quickest. Unfortunately, just like our hunger instinct, our environment is VERY DIFFERENT than it was long ago. Most fears today are social fears. They are much more complicated. Back then, we saw something yellow moving, and figured it could be a tiger. Most of the time, it was a yellow flower, or something else. But the fear response to REAL physical threats was very quick. Since modern fear responses are usually in social situations (any time when we imagine talking to somebody) they take a while to build up. This means that social fears are the EASIEST to re-wire. Because the opposite of social fear is social success. This means love, money, sex, and plenty of other good stuff. In the moment, all we can imagine is the bad stuff. But once you rewire just a few of those social fears, you'll start to automatically imagine the good stuff. Which will not just eradicate the fears, but make you feel the opposite. Meaning when you imagine any potential social interaction, you'll feel POSITIVELY compelled to take advantage of it. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  23. Fear is an interesting concept. It's an ancient instinct, and like all instincts, it compels us to certain actions, so we don't have to think. Perhaps there was an ancient race of people who sat down and calculated everything, like Vulcans, but they were too slow and they all got eaten. Instincts work because we don't HAVE to think. And they are very much based on the "better safe than sorry" strategy. Meaning if you see a yellow flower waving in the wind, it will induce fear (fight or flight) and you'll run away. Because you're instincts figure it COULD be a tiger, the rule is run away first, and think about it later. Just taking the time to decide if it were a tiger, (which would require conscious thinking) would be too long. This means that you can't OUT THINK your fears. This is one of the main ideas behind the three second rule. It's got nothing to do with the person you are approaching. The idea is to get moving BEFORE your "fear instinct" has a chance to change your mind. And as I'm sure you're well aware, the LONGER you wait, the HARDER it gets. You can't OUT THINK your fears, but you CAN reframe them. Consider a social situation. You see a person you'd like to approach. Then your brain calculates EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME. And comes up with a "best case," a "worse case" and a probability. Just like with the yellow flower. Since we can't eat flowers, there is absolutely NOTHING to be gained by approaching carefully. And since tigers are about as dangerous as you can get, running away, even if we are pretty sure it's a flower, is the right choice. But with people, it's a little different. The fear (or more appropriately, anxiety) that bubbles up when thinking about approaching somebody is NOT NEARLY as terrifying as getting eaten alive. But it's still there. But it's vaguer, and slower. You're brain's got to do a LOT to become anxious. It's got to check your memory, it's got to think through all the things YOU might say, all the things SHE might say, and then come up with an answer. The three second rule works because if you start moving within three seconds, your brain is STILL trying to figure out how to feel. Three seconds is like a magic window of opportunity. But there's a way to make it MUCH easier. To program your brain so anxiety NEVER happens. And not just in social situations, in ANY situation. (except with REAL danger, like tigers) And fear based on any communication with any person can be OBLITERATED. By rewiring your fear circuitry in your brain. Once you do that, ANYTHING is possible. Learn How: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/
  24. Voltaire is famous for saying, "Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face and I'll bed the queen of France." Humans have been around for a long, long time. But spoken language for only a little bit. Written language even less. But communication is as ancient as the hills. Crows caw at each other, and the frequency of the caws are important. Slow, drawn out caws mean one thing. Quick caws in succession mean something else entirely. If you were hiking through the jungle, and you happened across a silverback gorilla, you'd know what to do. You wouldn't fight him. You wouldn't run. You would instinctively lower your eyes and become as passive as possible. Even if you're hiking in the local mountains and you see a wild animal, you would know instantly that making any sudden moves is not a good idea. This means that we know intuitively exactly how to communicate with a wide range of non-human animals. It may seem silly to see standing frozen and quiet as communication, but it is intended to convey a message to the receiver. More importantly, that "message" is hopefully going to create a specific outcome. In the case of the gorilla or the other wild animal, the desired outcome is not to be killed or eaten. All communication is essentially the same thing. We see another "animal" (usually another human) and we INSTANTLY have an idea of what we would like THEM to do. And we come up with our best "guess" of how to make that happen. The problems start when we humans assume that outcome is mostly dependent on the words we use. But words are largely irrelevant. One way to see this is when they do studies on humans. They put us into groups. And we ALWAYS form hierarchies. Quickly and subconsciously. Everywhere we go, we form hierarchies. Consider that we humans are ALWAYS doing that. Sending and interpreting signals. Unconscious, non-verbal signals. So we always know where we stand in the social hierarchy. This means we've got good news and bad news. The BAD news is most of the time, before you even open your mouth, all the other people in the room, including you, have already determined WHERE you are on the social hierarchy. This is highly correlated to your frame strength. The stronger your frame, the higher you are. And vice versa. So if you see a cute person across the room, before you even make your way across, he or she has ALREADY DECIDED on your frame strength. You've made a first impression before you even open your mouth. Now the good news. The REALLY good news. There are some simple exercises you can do in the safety of your own home (and your own mind) that will consistently IMPROVE your frame strength. And just like physical exercises, the more you do, the stronger you'll get. Learn More: http://mindpersuasion.com/tongue-fu/